Was struck on the head by the umbrella of a clumsy oaf on the bus. It just occurred on bus service 151, right outside the side gate of the boy's school. It was utterly embarrasing. Not because I was smacked on the head by a kid, but because I swore some real colourful language. The bus was full of people, and I was in my school uniform. Until now, I am still dreading the moment where the MOP aka member of public complains. Urgh. The horror. Loads of people have told me that I look like an absolutely adorable dolly... right up to the moment I open my mouth. yeah, I get it, I'm a cynical, sadistic, violent old woman stuck in an 18 year old body. Right.Anyway, back to what happened, the kid, cause he's definitely younger than me, struck me on the head with his black umbrella, I have absolutely why he was holding an umbrella in his hand given the striking absence of rain. Maybe he wanted to morph into Umbrella Man or something. Still. Urgh.Interestingly, I have not much to say today. The boarding house is awfully quiet. I'm in a state of, I know it sounds absolutely hilarious, but I'm in a state of Zen. Right. Just waiting for disaster to befall...Shall squirm under a rock...
" Shepherd's pie isn't made of shepherds.Unfortunately."
Its both Mrs Ong and Jacqueline Jie's birthday today. Happy Birthday! Yup.Now that birthday wishes are settled, lets get on to the good stuff, ie. me ranting, raving and complaining about my own existence. What?!You're not interested? Haha. Ok. Its a Friday, so I'm in Lalaland already. Somehow, my brain functions in the most peculiar fashion on Fridays. I slept through one-third of Economics lecture, while I spent a good portion of Mathematics lecture staring into space. Yup. An absolutely productive way of engaging myself. I forgot to bring Whitby's stuff during Literature, which was unexpected, but he didn't really scold or make any too sarcastic comments. Was really fun, as usual. Geography was enlightening, as usual also, as Miss Ting is a wonderful teacher who can make people actually learn. That's the similarity between Whitby as well Miss Ting, they tend to motivate more than regurgitate information from the textbooks. Which is yeah, good, duh.Hah. Just realised that my command of English is deplorable. I'm using ungrammatical sentences, with little sentence variation as well as convolution. This is all thanks to my esteemed General Paper teacher, who employs every available opportunity criticising the class. Like I told Boonie, I came most probably start a Zen meditation class at the end of the academic year. My certification? Surviving my General Paper teacher. Serious. Its an accolade of the highest order. Maybe, say, two stages away from attaining Nirvana. Amazing, isn't it? Haha. Oh, mustn't forget the use of semi-colons to vary my sentence structure.Yet, I must admit that she is good for me. My General Paper teacher I mean. I'm now making a conscientious effort to shorten my sentences, as well the use of semi-colons. All I wish for is an A grade at the end of the year. Some may say that its difficult to achieve, but I have faith in my ability, as well as the various English teachers I've had since infancy. Especially my Dad. Yup. Can't let them down now, can I? Just realised what I can say for the URA scholarship interview, if I ever get there. Not telling. *sticks out tongue*I'm bored... ...
"Don't bother trying to be like me; I'm already beyond the natural boundaries of a human being..."
Its been a rather strange day today. I have no idea why. The weather is sweltering, there were loads of people on the bus, was almost late for assembly as we strolled form the grandstand to the parade square via the canteen route... It all seems pretty normal, but the fact is that there is this surreal feeling, like I'm not really in school, but more like drifting from place to place. Nothing particularly eventful occurred today, unless by eventful, we can consider the absence of Benzie Dio and me forgetting my Math lecture notes for normal distribution. Really. Oh, and I was supposed to attend the make-up dance session. Other than that... Its as if I'm not really alive. More like, a presence. Yup. I don't mean this in a negative sort of way, rather, there's this... quality. I can't seem to be able to identify a single apt word or phrase to describe the true depth of the experience. Its like trying to explain the concept of happiness or the colour blue to a person born blind. What is it? Its a sensory feast thats on a very basic, instinctive level that is derived from our experience of the human world. maybe happiness feels different to everyone, I would never know, and we are unable to transfer this awareness to another person. Its that simple, yet so utterly complex.
Did CIP at KK Hospital today. Played board games with the children. It was an enriching experience, how all children, regardless of race, language and religion, we all have a similar understanding of play. This may seem contradictory to what I have just typed, but honestly speaking, I find that paradoxes are an integral part of our lives. The most ironic thing is often the most common, most applicable truth to our reality. Why is this the case? I'm not some philosopher like Socrates. I'm just an ordinary person on the street. Haha. Didn't go for Genshiken, although I did set work for the juniors. Told them to sketch out their costume, with all the movable parts attached. Haha. Shall check out their work, I seriously hope they did it.
Seems to me that this year's Cosfest will be early. Dang it, clashes with Kaen's camp stuff. Irritating. I wanna go with her. With her around, there's never a dull moment. I'm not sure if I mean it in a good way or a bad way. Serious. Not sure what kind of effect she has on people, but thats the kind of feeling I get from Kaen. Am I weird? Cause I just realised that there is absolutely no real guy that I like. Honest. I'm mad over anime/manga characters, male duh, yet in the real world... Some people say that I'm lesbian. Which is so untrue. I like girls in a purely platonic, friendly, gal-pal kind of way. Not the... yeah. Not in that that way. Oh. My boarding house expanded. There are now 4 people, namely Atobe, Hyde, Kaname and, yes, Kurei. I know. He hasn't left. I really tried. I did. But he wouldn't go. Wait. More like I kinda wouldn't let him go. Haha.
Right. I need to mug for a Human Geography test tomorrow. See ya.
"Its better to regret having done something than to have regret not having done it."
Its weird how every time school starts after the holidays, the first day back is bound to totally suck. I'm serious. Today is an excellent example. GP was simply awful. The teacher, whom I shall not name, slammed all Arts stream students. I mean, she said, not once, nor twice, but four times, that she was 'horror-struck" to discover that her class consisted of near fifty percent Arts students. After that, she went on to 'assert' her argument by stating how Science students are logical, rational, methodical... Implicitly implying that Arts students are not. In colloquial terms, she was implying, not so subtly, that Arts students 'anyhow whack' without consideration of structure. Wow. How completely thoughtless. I suppose we can sue her for making discriminatory comments. I understand its normal to have a preference, but to the point where you address your class, half of which are from the Arts, making statements like these, is asking for trouble. Serious. An added motivation to prove her wrong, all to spite her...
I'm awfully sleepy. the medication prescribed by the sinseh was supposed to help me sleep better, yet... I'm not. I fall asleep way faster, but thats the only benefit so far. I still wake at the weirdest hour, and still combat fatigue in class. Sighx. I still have the bruises from the treatment on Saturday. it was pretty freaky to hear from the sinseh that I'm slightly anemic, have low blood pressure and back problems. She said I have a 65-year-old old woman's back! Argh. So I need treatment now if I don't want to suffer terribly in the last 40 years of my life. It made me feel really insecure. i mean, I'm not a really enthusiastic, professional dancer, yet my back is... poorly. What about dancers like my seniors, friends etc., who have been dancing since they were toddlers? Its inevitable to sustain injuries, so whats the status of their body? Hmm.
On a way lighter, more superficial note, my current favourite Laraku song is twinkle,twinkle and My Dear. Ok. I know its 2 songs. But its really AMAZING! Hyde can totally sing! The depth and range... Sighx. I'm intoxicated and drunk on it already. The really sad thing... which I think everyone knows by now, is that I can't possibly attend their concert! ARGH! Heart-broken... Oh well. I want more of their songs! There seems to be quite a number which I have yet to listen to. Yup. All I have heard are the more recent, more popular ones. The quest is now on for ALL songs! Haix. My brother is so going to scream at me for flooding iTunes with Japanese songs. Haha. I, however much yelled at, is fully aware of the fact that he listens to my songs, in secret of course. despite all his claims that I have horrible music taste, the truth is he doesn't really mind Laraku. in fact, I think he likes a few of their songs. Heehee. Oh. Duck. I want the song. I'm serious. I'm totally in love with Dir En Grey's Raison D'etre! I want! I want! Please? Arigatou!
I need to lose weight. No, its I need to lose fat. I have some 25.5% body fat, which is too much for my lifestyle. A cosplayer has to be lithe, not carting chunks of spare tyre, wobbly humps and other fat-related excess around. Have to get into shape for Tyki and Aoi. Both are like, lean and charismatic (I know, I know, why the hell am I doing such tough characters?! I'm not even remotely cool...), which equates to fat loss and more muscles. I'm so totally trying to make my life way more difficult... Haha. Oh well...
Shall leave to suffer in the hands of sadistic PE teachers...
"Pain in temporal, honour is forever...'
I like peanut butter. I like the nutty taste, the cloying texture, the way its really yummy... Ahh, sheer bliss. Its one of the few things in life that I truly enjoy, ranking among them reading manga, sleeping, listening to good music. Peanut butter is a form of earthly paradise. Haha.
I'm kinda exhausted. Had a rather hectic-ly boring day. There's dance tomorrow - at RGPS as our school hall is unable to be used, so we have to report at 8.15am. Urgh. The school is so concerned about the 'facilities', that the administration is sacrificing the study environment of the students to get the performing arts theatre ready for 'our enjoyment'. What a load of nonsense. We all know its for showing off during College Day, so why bother? Making a good impression on the various big shots is important, but what about the students? Those at the back of the Hall can hardly see the screen due to the flat surface. There's a reason why lectures are held in elevated theatres. I'm totally disappointed. All these are after the mention of the mainstream students as 'late-developers' during mass assembly. Hello? In the 'outside world', late developers is an euphemism for people with learning disabilities, usually due to genetics. Its an open secret that we are 'second-class', but could they at least be more subtle? Its extremely irritating, considering the fact that in quite a few ways, we are no worse than the 'kids', rather, we are as good, if not better, due to our added exposure to the big bad world. Urgh.
Shall not bother. I love AWAKE. Really listened to it. Laraku is simply amazing. Now, if all music was like that, I'll be spoilt for choice. Really really spoilt for choice. Haha. Its soothing, erratic, new, vibrant... Wait, I'm like practically stringing words together. Lousy adjectives. Its insufficient to describe the plethora of emotions, sensations all engulfing me. As you can see, I'm mugging for SAT vocabulary, haha. I really want to attend their concert...
Why do I bother? I'm sick and tired of it. Its pointless, irritating, infuriating, and does not contribute to my sense of accomplishment, personal fulfilment... I'm not talking about the SATs. Nor JRock. Yup. Its not your fault, its just that sometimes, I get upset over things that should have ceased to matter. Looks like I've yet to emerge anew from the experience. Ok. This is becoming an extremely random paragraph. There's something wrong with iTunes in my computer. Error every time I try to play a song, which is driving me up the wall. how in the world am I suppose to listen to Hyde... *cries*. Oh well. CD player. Ah. I think I'm tired. This paragraph has practically zero cohesion. All the random, unconnected thoughts are just being inserted into the box. This is bad. Umm. Need to go to bed soon. Is being tired a recurring theme here? Cause for concern. Shall have to consider. Breakfast at Shunfu tomorrow. Towel has to be hanged to dry. I seriously need to log off. Ophelia is now playing in my head, the strains of Hyde's voice lulling, seducing me to sleep. Gosh.
Laughing my little head of in Lalaland...
"Up or down, it doesn't matter, what matters is that you actually MOVE."
Damn it. I'm looking for Dir En Grey's Raison D'etre, but I can't seem to find it online. I can't buy music, duh, I don't have a credit card, and the only bloody place that seems to stock a respectable JRock collection in Singapore is HMV. The Humongous Money-sucking Villain. Yup, that's because the prices of the CDs are so expensive, they make shipping from Japan seem really tempting. I really want to support my artists, but not the bloody middleman! I completely understand that firms are trying to profit maximise, duh, I take Economics, although my grades kind of suck, but that does not mean you earn some 75% of the CD! Its immoral! I will gladly attend the concerts of the band, cause I know they make money out of it. Hey, they entertain me, provide me with comfort, give me something to talk to people about... I don't mind paying them. Serious. If there was a viable solution to borrowing CDs, I'll gladly subscribe to it.
Laraku has a couple of new songs. I Wish, Drink It Down and some other remix. The Drink It Down MV seems really interesting, I previewed it from their site, and Hyde has a new hairstyle. Again. Longer, wavy hair now. Similar to Kamidjo, from Versialles, hair, but more low maintenance, more conventional. Will be out on April 2nd. Guess Ist April is a bad day, being April's Fool and all. Oh. Realised that Laraku really likes to use Caucasians in their MVs. Its as if I've never seen MVs that are filmed with traditional Japanese influences. Its kinda sad, but strangely fits them. Oh yeah. I like Tetsu. He is totally adorable. His smile is the kind of smile little boys give. So irresistable. Still can't believe that Hyde has the same birthday as Dad, I have the same birthday as Yukihiro, Tetsu and Atobe are born on the same day (yes, I know they are practically from two different planets) and Ken and my maternal grandmother share the same birthday. What a total coincidence! The HYDE Live tour will be from August to October this year, which is like, only 2 months after Trans Asia Via Paris Tour. Their Theatre of Kiss Tour just ended sometime 2 weeks ago. Dang, I really wanna go see them. It would be completely enjoyable...
Its pretty late now. I actually have loads of stuff to say, and photos of Matsuri to upload, but I'm seriously too lazy, tired, and bored, to do it. Will most probably upload them on Friday, Good Friday. Public holiday to catch up on sleep, homework, blog etc... It is a serious affair.
In a weird mood now. Think its the hour. Late. Or early, depending on how you look at it. Sleepy.
Shall leave... I have no idea why I just put up photos of Byakuya. The last picture is the poster in my room. I really have no idea, its not like he's remotely near my internal boarding house. Really. And so many... something is seriously wrong with me today. Shall leave, take medicine, check into Woodbridge...
"An exercise in futility... So why do you bother?"
Should I apologise for leaving this site to fester in cyberspace for the past 2 months? Oh well. At least I have returned. Cue evil laughter. Its kind of interesting how being a second-year student still feels so freakingly similar to being a first-year. Other than the very obvious fact that the 'A'- Levels AND SAT is this year, both of which I have yet to really sit down and study, the rest is the same. Still have a hectic schedule, a lousy CCA, wait, make that one and a half, flunking Economics, hating Physical Education... Yup. Same old. Same old. Its the March holidays, although judging by the amount of homework, coupled with the tests lined up immediately after, you would think the teachers all thought that students have 48 hours in a day. I'm serious. The amount of Literature homework I have is astounding. Its freaky what they can make you do without having to slog their guts out to mark it. Urgh. I have to finish the Mthematics tutorial package, now thicker as we have covered more topics, a mountain of Literature homework which I am too lazy to describe, studying for Physical Geography test and SAT, SAT application details, 2 Economics essays and 2 case studies. Yuck. Is this going to become a homework journal?
I'm stuck at part 2/3 of Saiunkoku Monogatari. Yes, go ahead and laugh you evil people. My rate of progress is so amazingly slow that I think I'll be 20 years old by the time I finish watching the bloody series. Did I mention that there's a second series? Yup. Screwed. I realised that in Term 1, you're rushing to complete assignments. In Term 2, you're rushing to complete already late assignments. When Term 3 arrives, you only do assignments which are for the first 2 periods of the day. In Term 4, you ignore all assignments and just revise. Yup. Its comforting to know that there is a semblance, albeit a pathetic one, of a certain pattern of behaviour. How nice. Right. I wanna finish up Devil May Cry. I wanna finish Saiunkoku series 1 and 2. I wanna watch Vampire Knight. I want all the bloody exams to end. NOW. Which is unlikely to happen. Sighx. I shall go back to my suffering.
From my boarding house, I kicked out... Earl Tyki Mikku from D.Gray-Man. Yup, so he needs a home, and anyone who wants him is free to adopt him at zero charge. Similarly, I'm trying to extract Kurei from the boarding house, although he is extremely stubborn and absolutely refuses to move out. So anyone with a forklift (to remove his belongings), a fireman suit (flame caster, remember?), and nerves of steel is welcome to forcibly yank him from said boarding house. I must warn that he has an awful temper, an inability to not communicate with sarcasm, and is devilishly hot. So please, come and adopt him. I'm clearing space simply because its getting overcrowded, I mean, Atobe, Hyde, Kaname, Tyki, Kurei and Teru?! Thats not to mention the occasional extra people who bunk over, like Gackt, Tetsu, Yukimura... You get the drift. How can I possibly deal with so many pets... umm... kids... umm... attention-seeking parasites... whatever, all at one shot? Its simply not good for health. Yup. So I'm giving them away. Well, those that can be evicted. Without too much bloodshed. Tyki left surprisingly easily. He sort of went, grinning, but I'm afraid he'll come back next year. Hopefully, either I've renovated the boarding house to accommodate more people, or I throw... err... send more away. Nagging suspicion that no matter how much I expand the boarding house, it won't be enough. Arghx. Too many unreal guys. Now, why can't I get to know... Damn it. You didn't read anything.
Smiles.
" Love isn't as great as everyone says it is."
