Playlist
Dear Prince ~Tennis No Oujisama~ by Ikumen Samurai
Valentine's Day is this Saturday. In the past, I used to be really enthusiastic about it. I mean, what is there not to like? Presents, an excuse to go out, speculating pairings for this year... I liked Valentine's Day, as commercialised as it is. And then... This year, I'm not exactly looking forward to it. In fact, I'd rather not have such a day on my calendar at all. I'm not jealous of lovebirds. Heck, no way. Its not that I broke up with my boyfriend. I'm SINGLE. I feel sad as I'm out of the official school system. I am no longer surrounded by friends who will shower me with love, laughter, attention. No more joking around. No more of being a busybody and gossiping about the relationships of others. Instead, I'll be... Studying Japanese? My driving theory test? Packing my room? Studying for SAT if my results are terrible? I would love to go out with my friends, but they are either going out with other people, namely their other half, overseas, or grounded at home. So I am too. Maybe I should go to the library. Read something for fun. Think trashy books with no plot and poor organisation. I read books like that for fun. Think of it as an advanced level of zero tolerance testing. You get a headache from correcting and improving romance novels. If I told you that reading bodice rippers give me a headache, I think you'll laugh. Duh. Anyone who thinks editing books is easy should try it some time. Even children books will torture your brain cells, not to mention cheesy chick lit. You have been warned.
I think mosquitoes are THE bane of my existence in tropical Singapore. They are everywhere that is not air-conditioned. My house. The bus stop. The food court. The hawker centre. Everywhere that I go, I see them. They buzz around me in the middle of the night and the high pitch screeching is awful. The land on all surfaces, all bloatred with blood, most probably mine. An eyesore. First thing in the morning, you do not want to see bloated mosquitoes. Ech.
I'll be retaking my SATs in May. Yes, the scores are out. Atrocious. It was much worse than expected. Some of my friends told me that my score is high for my first attempt. Honestly, I do not think it is a matter of which attempt. Rather, it is that I put in a decent amount of effort, and received such awful grades. I am satisfied with my critical Reading score, but my Math and Writing score, especially Writing score... Terrible. I shall improve. Yes I shall. Sigh. need to hit the books again.
So, on my to do list...
1) Study for Advanced Theory Test
2) Study for upcoming Japanese test
2) Study for SAT.
4) Go for driving lessons.
5) Finish up Dorothea.
6) Start on Lulubell.
7) JunJou photoshoot... Events...
Last, but definitely not the least...
8) Work.
Yeah. So many things to do, so little time...
"In my heart I know that the pain will not last much longer..."
Friday, 13 February 2009
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
Call
Playlist
Cage by Dir En Grey
The colours are all there. Yellow. Lots of blue. A few purples. Quite a lot of blue. Barely any green. Some grey. One orange. The rest is white. I assure you. I'm feeling blue at the sight of all the blue. Why can't I get more greens? Sheesh. Stop rejecting me! At this rate... I'll most probably be wasting my Saturday! Yes! On Saturday, I'll be meeting a whole bunch of babies. My whole morning is gone. Because of them. I could sleep in. Go out. Slack at home. Revise Japanese. Study for my final driving theory test... But no. I have to babysit and herd them around. Goodness gracious me. What a WONDERFUL way to spend my time. Ok. Maybe things could be worse. Maybe I would have to do this TWICE. Wait. I'm even missing part of my lunch to go through the details so that the event is perfect. Yo punks had better show up! Otherwise, I'll remember you name kill you when I see you walking around campus later this year!
Why is hyde so quiet this year... As in, there has been nothing from VAMPS, and on his own, for quite a while. Yes, I know creative juices are often very sluggish, but now with Laruku on hiatus, he should have less to do. I think. Unless he is still on tour somewhere in Japan? He does have his family to take care of... I wonder what his life is like. I always wonder how those in the entertainment industry live. No real privacy. Its a 24/7 job. There are expectations from everyone and anyone. You have to be careful of everything you ay and do... What a starnge life that must be. Or if you had famour parents. As weird, if not more so, as you never chose the attention. You were born with it... What does the world seem like to them I wonder.
I'm hungry. I'm often hungry at work especially. At 1130 AM. It lasts for about an hour, before my hunger pangs go away as my body numbs it. So if I miss a meal, I can still function, although I often complain so much that I'm fed. I can go on like that for up to 8 hours. If I don't eat anything for more than that, my hunger pangs are so bad I keel over in pain. I'm serious. It hurts and hurts. I can't stand up straight, and I just bunch into this little ball. Its not a throbbing pain, but a sharp pain that persists. Unbearable. So I need to be fed. I sound like some plant or animal that needs regular meals.
My SAT results will be out in the evening tomorrow. I feel like dropping by my tailor to alter the dress. Give myself something to do other than refreshing the College Board website to see if my results are out. In real life, my name is near the end of the alphabet, so I often have to wait ages before I get my result slip. The suspense is awful. Its so unfair that you see others screaming in joy, or crying, or even going crazy while you still wait in line. Terrible. Online is fair to everyone. Unless the server has a problem. Which I shall pray does not occur tomorrow. We should have instant marking. like in the driving theory test. A huge PASS or FAIL immedistely shows up upon submission of your answers. It can be crushing, but at least you do not have to wait in agony.
Still calling my babies...
"I realized the things I was praying for were transient... I cannot do anything for you..."
Cage by Dir En Grey
The colours are all there. Yellow. Lots of blue. A few purples. Quite a lot of blue. Barely any green. Some grey. One orange. The rest is white. I assure you. I'm feeling blue at the sight of all the blue. Why can't I get more greens? Sheesh. Stop rejecting me! At this rate... I'll most probably be wasting my Saturday! Yes! On Saturday, I'll be meeting a whole bunch of babies. My whole morning is gone. Because of them. I could sleep in. Go out. Slack at home. Revise Japanese. Study for my final driving theory test... But no. I have to babysit and herd them around. Goodness gracious me. What a WONDERFUL way to spend my time. Ok. Maybe things could be worse. Maybe I would have to do this TWICE. Wait. I'm even missing part of my lunch to go through the details so that the event is perfect. Yo punks had better show up! Otherwise, I'll remember you name kill you when I see you walking around campus later this year!
Why is hyde so quiet this year... As in, there has been nothing from VAMPS, and on his own, for quite a while. Yes, I know creative juices are often very sluggish, but now with Laruku on hiatus, he should have less to do. I think. Unless he is still on tour somewhere in Japan? He does have his family to take care of... I wonder what his life is like. I always wonder how those in the entertainment industry live. No real privacy. Its a 24/7 job. There are expectations from everyone and anyone. You have to be careful of everything you ay and do... What a starnge life that must be. Or if you had famour parents. As weird, if not more so, as you never chose the attention. You were born with it... What does the world seem like to them I wonder.
I'm hungry. I'm often hungry at work especially. At 1130 AM. It lasts for about an hour, before my hunger pangs go away as my body numbs it. So if I miss a meal, I can still function, although I often complain so much that I'm fed. I can go on like that for up to 8 hours. If I don't eat anything for more than that, my hunger pangs are so bad I keel over in pain. I'm serious. It hurts and hurts. I can't stand up straight, and I just bunch into this little ball. Its not a throbbing pain, but a sharp pain that persists. Unbearable. So I need to be fed. I sound like some plant or animal that needs regular meals.
My SAT results will be out in the evening tomorrow. I feel like dropping by my tailor to alter the dress. Give myself something to do other than refreshing the College Board website to see if my results are out. In real life, my name is near the end of the alphabet, so I often have to wait ages before I get my result slip. The suspense is awful. Its so unfair that you see others screaming in joy, or crying, or even going crazy while you still wait in line. Terrible. Online is fair to everyone. Unless the server has a problem. Which I shall pray does not occur tomorrow. We should have instant marking. like in the driving theory test. A huge PASS or FAIL immedistely shows up upon submission of your answers. It can be crushing, but at least you do not have to wait in agony.
Still calling my babies...
"I realized the things I was praying for were transient... I cannot do anything for you..."
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Crystallise
Playlist
Crystallise by Suwabe Junichi
I like Crystallise. Its a little sad. Melancholic. Soothing. Perfect for putting tired me to sleep on the bus. Yes. I do sleep on the bus. I am well aware that it is not as safe as sleeping at home. Obviously. Still, I'm tired. Too tired to care. And I'm only napping. I have never missed my stop. Ever. Like I said, only napping. Why do I even nap in the first place? Well, some people wake up at 3 AM in the morning and just cannot go back to sleep. For the life of me, I have absolutely no idea why. I am more than tired. I'm exhausted. After work, Japanese class, worrying about SAT and A Level results, arranging dates with my tailor and studying for my driving Advanced Theory Test on transport... I should sleep until dawn. I should. We should live happily after. We usually don't. Maybe its due to the mosquito bites. Maybe my body clock is screwed. I don't know for sure. In any case, it has put me into a seriously bad mood. Don't say I did not warn you. This gal needs sleep to smile.
I miss MBA. I miss Celine. And Jason. And Richard. And Edwin. And Angelyn. And April's infrequent visits. I miss SDU too. And the Finance people. The whole office is quirky. Falling bits of black stuff from the air-con. The printing machine that can never seem to print documents straight. Surrounded by a sea of green paper. Everything had its own character. It was amazing. Cosy. And fun:) I miss lunch with the team. I am not a solo lunch kind of person. The last time I had lunch on my own was in secondary school. And yesterday. It was awful. I never want to repeat the experience, but... Yeah. Solo lunch will be status quo from now on. All because of some idiot. DAMN YOU. Its my fault. I gave in. Sigh.
Went out with both the JunJou Team and DGray Team. It was. Well. Uneventful to say the least. For JunJou, we brainstormed a bit. Talked a bit. Crapped a lot. Yeah. There was laughter all around, but it was at a rather superficial level. And there was the imposing presence of dissent. I won't go into details, as there are now FAR too many related people reading my blog... I just want to say I like everyone who went. And that I would love to work with everyone again. Like I said, if you want me, I'd gladly stay. Oh! The highlight was the food. NOT Macs! Marvelous Cream! The super high class ice cream shop at the link between SUNTEC and Raffles Place. Heavenly. Sinful. I had the ready made flavour. Not familiar enough to experiment. It was delicious. The Japanese sure know how to package their wares. After all, its ice cream. Did not originate in Japan. As we all know. Yet, I had much rather have Marvelous Cream than Ben &Jerry's. Maybe I just don't like cows. Or maybe I enjoyed the experience at Marvelous Cream much more than B&J. The name is apt. It was marvelous. Lacking in originality, but what the heck.
Dgray was. Urgh. One word. One sound rather. It was the arcade. And bowling. The usual. Like every other outing. The fun part was having dinner with Tsukihami, Rinya (yes, thanks for poking me) and Karei. We talked. And ate. Rather, Karei and Tsukihami ate while Rinya and I had a drink each. I was not that hungry enough to spend MORE money after the $26 that was extorted from me at Sakura International in town. I will never have a single meal there ever again. I assure you, I had much rather go Lei Garden, conveniently located upstairs, than Sakura again. It might even be cheaper. And there would be service. Having twenty people, the team, move from locale to locale was... Interesting. Like watching Bya, Kai and whoever there was to herd the whole bunch of us. Honestly, I have the sheepdog instinct instead of the sheep instinct. Though on Sunday, I just could not be bothered. Leftover displeasure from yesterday night resulted in an uncooperative team member. Not that anyone really noticed as I'm often more cooperative than most in their most cooperative state even when I'm being uncooperative. Raise your hand, those of you who had to read my previous sentence twice to understand. Haha. I love languages. The ability to utterly confuse and clarify. All of it depends on a few squiggles.
I shall adjourn to call returning babies...
"The wavering colors float in front of my eyes and disappear... Even if I close my eyes right now, I can't go back there again..."
Crystallise by Suwabe Junichi
I like Crystallise. Its a little sad. Melancholic. Soothing. Perfect for putting tired me to sleep on the bus. Yes. I do sleep on the bus. I am well aware that it is not as safe as sleeping at home. Obviously. Still, I'm tired. Too tired to care. And I'm only napping. I have never missed my stop. Ever. Like I said, only napping. Why do I even nap in the first place? Well, some people wake up at 3 AM in the morning and just cannot go back to sleep. For the life of me, I have absolutely no idea why. I am more than tired. I'm exhausted. After work, Japanese class, worrying about SAT and A Level results, arranging dates with my tailor and studying for my driving Advanced Theory Test on transport... I should sleep until dawn. I should. We should live happily after. We usually don't. Maybe its due to the mosquito bites. Maybe my body clock is screwed. I don't know for sure. In any case, it has put me into a seriously bad mood. Don't say I did not warn you. This gal needs sleep to smile.
I miss MBA. I miss Celine. And Jason. And Richard. And Edwin. And Angelyn. And April's infrequent visits. I miss SDU too. And the Finance people. The whole office is quirky. Falling bits of black stuff from the air-con. The printing machine that can never seem to print documents straight. Surrounded by a sea of green paper. Everything had its own character. It was amazing. Cosy. And fun:) I miss lunch with the team. I am not a solo lunch kind of person. The last time I had lunch on my own was in secondary school. And yesterday. It was awful. I never want to repeat the experience, but... Yeah. Solo lunch will be status quo from now on. All because of some idiot. DAMN YOU. Its my fault. I gave in. Sigh.
Went out with both the JunJou Team and DGray Team. It was. Well. Uneventful to say the least. For JunJou, we brainstormed a bit. Talked a bit. Crapped a lot. Yeah. There was laughter all around, but it was at a rather superficial level. And there was the imposing presence of dissent. I won't go into details, as there are now FAR too many related people reading my blog... I just want to say I like everyone who went. And that I would love to work with everyone again. Like I said, if you want me, I'd gladly stay. Oh! The highlight was the food. NOT Macs! Marvelous Cream! The super high class ice cream shop at the link between SUNTEC and Raffles Place. Heavenly. Sinful. I had the ready made flavour. Not familiar enough to experiment. It was delicious. The Japanese sure know how to package their wares. After all, its ice cream. Did not originate in Japan. As we all know. Yet, I had much rather have Marvelous Cream than Ben &Jerry's. Maybe I just don't like cows. Or maybe I enjoyed the experience at Marvelous Cream much more than B&J. The name is apt. It was marvelous. Lacking in originality, but what the heck.
Dgray was. Urgh. One word. One sound rather. It was the arcade. And bowling. The usual. Like every other outing. The fun part was having dinner with Tsukihami, Rinya (yes, thanks for poking me) and Karei. We talked. And ate. Rather, Karei and Tsukihami ate while Rinya and I had a drink each. I was not that hungry enough to spend MORE money after the $26 that was extorted from me at Sakura International in town. I will never have a single meal there ever again. I assure you, I had much rather go Lei Garden, conveniently located upstairs, than Sakura again. It might even be cheaper. And there would be service. Having twenty people, the team, move from locale to locale was... Interesting. Like watching Bya, Kai and whoever there was to herd the whole bunch of us. Honestly, I have the sheepdog instinct instead of the sheep instinct. Though on Sunday, I just could not be bothered. Leftover displeasure from yesterday night resulted in an uncooperative team member. Not that anyone really noticed as I'm often more cooperative than most in their most cooperative state even when I'm being uncooperative. Raise your hand, those of you who had to read my previous sentence twice to understand. Haha. I love languages. The ability to utterly confuse and clarify. All of it depends on a few squiggles.
I shall adjourn to call returning babies...
"The wavering colors float in front of my eyes and disappear... Even if I close my eyes right now, I can't go back there again..."
Saturday, 7 February 2009
Dad
Playlist
The fan in my brother's room
I do not drive. Which is why I am learning how to drive. I do not think I am smart. Which is why I try and read proper books and articles. I do not think I know a lot. Which is why I am willing to learn, to ask. I do not think I am anything special. Which is why I do my best. I am flawed. I am sometimes a hypocrite. I am not always nice. I am not always assertive. I do not know what I want. I do not know what I can do. I am lost. I am paranoid. I lack self-esteem. I KNOW IT IS A PROBLEM.
The people you love the most hurt you the most. And it is often under the pretense of them loving you. They say things that hurt you, because it is not true. It hurts, because they did not clarify things and foolishly jump to conclusions. It hurts, because you were betrayed of your trust. Which is why I will never let myself love anyone. I will not let myself fall in love with anyone. I am not a masochist. I will not sign a contract to hurt myself.
I think God is a witness. He should not interfere.
I do not want you to interfere. YOU SAID YOU WOULD NOT INTERFERE. You did. You always do. You determine what I do. Not directly. You'll be snide, and mean, and insulting. You'll poke and prod and complain. You'll cold-shoulder me. I love you, so I'll do what you want me to do. I know I should listen to myself, but I love you. So I give it all up for you. I regret it, but I never tell it to you. I don't want you to feel guilty. If you ever do. I want you to be proud of me. I want you to love me the way I love you. Sometimes, I hate you for what you've turned me into. I hate you for what you've turned my world into. In spite of all this... I still love you. I really do. Thats why it hurts so much... Thats why I always cry. You say I'm weak. You say I'm a crybaby. Don't you know, its only if its things that are related to you?!
"Go ahead and break my heart. I gave it to you anyway."
The fan in my brother's room
I do not drive. Which is why I am learning how to drive. I do not think I am smart. Which is why I try and read proper books and articles. I do not think I know a lot. Which is why I am willing to learn, to ask. I do not think I am anything special. Which is why I do my best. I am flawed. I am sometimes a hypocrite. I am not always nice. I am not always assertive. I do not know what I want. I do not know what I can do. I am lost. I am paranoid. I lack self-esteem. I KNOW IT IS A PROBLEM.
The people you love the most hurt you the most. And it is often under the pretense of them loving you. They say things that hurt you, because it is not true. It hurts, because they did not clarify things and foolishly jump to conclusions. It hurts, because you were betrayed of your trust. Which is why I will never let myself love anyone. I will not let myself fall in love with anyone. I am not a masochist. I will not sign a contract to hurt myself.
I think God is a witness. He should not interfere.
I do not want you to interfere. YOU SAID YOU WOULD NOT INTERFERE. You did. You always do. You determine what I do. Not directly. You'll be snide, and mean, and insulting. You'll poke and prod and complain. You'll cold-shoulder me. I love you, so I'll do what you want me to do. I know I should listen to myself, but I love you. So I give it all up for you. I regret it, but I never tell it to you. I don't want you to feel guilty. If you ever do. I want you to be proud of me. I want you to love me the way I love you. Sometimes, I hate you for what you've turned me into. I hate you for what you've turned my world into. In spite of all this... I still love you. I really do. Thats why it hurts so much... Thats why I always cry. You say I'm weak. You say I'm a crybaby. Don't you know, its only if its things that are related to you?!
"Go ahead and break my heart. I gave it to you anyway."
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Breeze
Playlist
Sabishii Nettaigyo by Sanada Genichirou and Tezuka Kunimitsu
Check this out. It measures how colour or hue blind you are. The higher the score, the less sensitive you are to the little changes in the exact hue or tone of the colour. I did it, and I got a score of zero! Can you believe it? Ok. I have always known that I'm pretty observant and sensory aware. Still, I did not expect to get a perfect score. Woohoo! This is likely to influence my career decision. Yeah, its only a test. An online test at that. Regardless, I think its the little things like this that changes your direction in life.
I feel fat. I look fat. Well, at least to me. And there is no way I can go on a diet within the next few days. After all, its my last day at work tomorrow, and there's going to be a Chinese New Year lunch. I mean, I'm not the type to tell others "Hey, I'm on a diet. Can you give me veggies instead?" Yes, I'll avoid carbohydrates and fats, but other than that... Not very likely. SRF is having an outing on Sunday as well, a buffet at Sakura, which makes a diet... Not very possible yeah? Like I said, I'll definitely avoid the carbohydrates and fats, though I think it is not enough if I intend to lose sufficient weight for the next JunJou shoot. There is no way i am going to be a fat Nowaki. No freaking way.
I realised that my blog has pretty decent traffic. I suppose its as I'm one of the few crazy people who still blog. And whose blog is not locked. Yes. I know of the dangers, which is why I shall never reveal my real name nor any of my friend's real name on my blog. You can go ahead and speculate, but what you see may not be what I mean. You have been warned all ye who art paranoid. Oh. Still, I shall lock my blog soon. I shall not apologise to those who wish to read. You can jolly well email, private message, MSN, call, sms, meet me or write to me to request for my password. See? So many options. Yeah, if you're one of those lucky few, I'll send you the password via email. Or tell it to you. Or sms it to you. Whatever. If not? Too bad :) I shall no longer be nice and considerate for the sake of doing so.
I passed my driving Basic Theory Test! So I'll be applying for the Advanced Theory Test tomorrow morning. If time permits, I'll apply for my Provisional Driving License as well. This is as I've yet to find an instructor, and I am well aware of the fact that I only have 6 months to learn if I intend to keep costs low. I have to. I'm paying for it! There is a limit to the salary of a temporary staff. Anyway, I need to report for work, so if I'm likely to be late... I'll apply some other time. After all, I already have all the necessary documents with me all the time. man, I cannot wait to drive! Most people that I know say that the glamour will disappear soon. So while I'm still enthusiastic, I shall enjoy it. When the time comes that petrol, maintenance and ERP charges make me jaded, I shall remember the good times of naivete and innocence. Boy do I sound old. I so am not!
Having my period... My complexion is awful... How am I going to take photos tomorrow?
"You who I love too much is on the other side of the wall..."
Sabishii Nettaigyo by Sanada Genichirou and Tezuka Kunimitsu
Check this out. It measures how colour or hue blind you are. The higher the score, the less sensitive you are to the little changes in the exact hue or tone of the colour. I did it, and I got a score of zero! Can you believe it? Ok. I have always known that I'm pretty observant and sensory aware. Still, I did not expect to get a perfect score. Woohoo! This is likely to influence my career decision. Yeah, its only a test. An online test at that. Regardless, I think its the little things like this that changes your direction in life.
I feel fat. I look fat. Well, at least to me. And there is no way I can go on a diet within the next few days. After all, its my last day at work tomorrow, and there's going to be a Chinese New Year lunch. I mean, I'm not the type to tell others "Hey, I'm on a diet. Can you give me veggies instead?" Yes, I'll avoid carbohydrates and fats, but other than that... Not very likely. SRF is having an outing on Sunday as well, a buffet at Sakura, which makes a diet... Not very possible yeah? Like I said, I'll definitely avoid the carbohydrates and fats, though I think it is not enough if I intend to lose sufficient weight for the next JunJou shoot. There is no way i am going to be a fat Nowaki. No freaking way.
I realised that my blog has pretty decent traffic. I suppose its as I'm one of the few crazy people who still blog. And whose blog is not locked. Yes. I know of the dangers, which is why I shall never reveal my real name nor any of my friend's real name on my blog. You can go ahead and speculate, but what you see may not be what I mean. You have been warned all ye who art paranoid. Oh. Still, I shall lock my blog soon. I shall not apologise to those who wish to read. You can jolly well email, private message, MSN, call, sms, meet me or write to me to request for my password. See? So many options. Yeah, if you're one of those lucky few, I'll send you the password via email. Or tell it to you. Or sms it to you. Whatever. If not? Too bad :) I shall no longer be nice and considerate for the sake of doing so.
I passed my driving Basic Theory Test! So I'll be applying for the Advanced Theory Test tomorrow morning. If time permits, I'll apply for my Provisional Driving License as well. This is as I've yet to find an instructor, and I am well aware of the fact that I only have 6 months to learn if I intend to keep costs low. I have to. I'm paying for it! There is a limit to the salary of a temporary staff. Anyway, I need to report for work, so if I'm likely to be late... I'll apply some other time. After all, I already have all the necessary documents with me all the time. man, I cannot wait to drive! Most people that I know say that the glamour will disappear soon. So while I'm still enthusiastic, I shall enjoy it. When the time comes that petrol, maintenance and ERP charges make me jaded, I shall remember the good times of naivete and innocence. Boy do I sound old. I so am not!
Having my period... My complexion is awful... How am I going to take photos tomorrow?
"You who I love too much is on the other side of the wall..."
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
SOY
Playlist
Whatever that random song is on Jason's playlist...
Yes, I know this is late. I wanted to wait for the SOY photos to be uploaded before I type this. Why? Because I have no intention of typing down every single thing that ocurred. I'm just going to recount the behind-the-scenes stuff that no photographer could have captured. Yes, that word hangs in the air. I dare you to vocalise it in front of me. Can't? Too bad.
Waited for Kaen for 2 hours. At the MRT station. I went to Chinatown straight after work on Friday night to buy the stuff we need. Good thing too, as most of the shops were already clsoing at 630pm. Super early, but not unexpected. Only a handful of shops were open due to the post Chinese New Year break they were all on. Most of the shop owners were really nice to give me generous discounts. Guess they wanted to start the year on a good note. Either that or they already had a windfall from the New Year crowd. Haha. I shop, according to my mom, like a guy, so I was done at around 7pm. So I waited for my uke (HAHA) at Chinatown, and later at my home's bus stop. Killed time waiting for her to fly down with our costumes and her rifle from Kai. Helped a few tourists with their ez-link cards, push prams through the barrier, direct more tourists to the correct train... SBS Transit ought to pay me.
We reached my grandma's place around 9pm. Yes. I had dinner at 9pm when my lunch for that day was... 1pm. I'm astonished that I did not faint or anything. Kaen looked... hilariously like an oba-san. What with the enormous Daiso bag and her bag and the rifle in the cardboard and her looking tired... I laughed hysterically when I saw her. Come on, I was tired too. Though I killed some more time mugging for my driving test...
At home, we started by slacking around, deciding on who baths first. Turns out it did not matter, as we ended up sewing and taping on my bedroom floor. We must have been such a sight. One taping leather straps and arranging it haphazardly while the other sews this ugly snake thing. Syuffed it with newspaper. Seriously ugly. Still, its accurate, as Dorothea's magic sucks. LOL. Went to bed around midnight as we wanted to reduce eyebags.
Woke up at 8am. I think its my internal alarm from working at MBA. Work strats at 10am, so waking up at 8am is ideal. Haha. Kaen had used her cape as a blanket in the middle of the night. Its expensive satin, so it feels awesome. Really nice. Smooth. I want a satin cape too~ Anyhow, while I was busy packing my house and getting my things ready, that girl was reading manga at my veranda. Ludwig. Yes, she said it was research, but it so obviously was her slacking! So we only started working at 930am. I assure you, that is plenty late for people who still have to cmplete boot covers, sew costumes, finish snake, make up, wig... We were suppose to lunch with Vivi at noon. We reached Ngee Ann Poly at 2pm. Two hours late. Cabbed there. Vivien even bought us lunch. Can you believe it?! Vivi, we owe you so much. Never again will I arrange to meet you when I have an event. Poor Vivi. We were running around my house to get things ready, hugging the dustbin to cut the wig... My make up was awful. I am getting a new eyeliner. Sochii-san has recommended some, so might try it out.
The event area was tiny. Made a new friend. Reina-san. She actually met the Pure Boys guys in JAPAN! In REAL LIFE! Apparently, she sings well too. Super cool. She met the actor of Tezuka from the third cast of Tenimyu. I have just forgotten his name. Anyway, she's really nice. Hung out with us for a bit and the both of us were going on and on about Prince of Tennis. Atobe-sama is love~. Celebrated Rinya's birthday. She's born on the same day as Dad and hyde. Another January 29th baby.
Kaen looked awesome. Compared to her, I just looked like any other meido running around in the event. She had a rifle. That counts for something. And she was in red. Which is quite a rare colour even in the most normal of events. Added to the fact that she does look hot... Haha. I'll be surprised if no one stalks her. I feel so proud of her. And my sewing skills as her straps did not split. Haha. Sochii-san was suppose to be there as well, but we never met her. So near, yet so far. Oh well.
Now the fun part.
I want to thank these people for making SOY a happy time for me...
Vivi and Choonie. Thank you for carting things, opening bottle caps, buying food, talking to us... Thank you for the time, effort and companionship. I shall never ever drag you guys to events that you are not participating in ever again. I feel awful. Serious. So you guys can rest assured that I'll look around for some way to take care of my belongngs from now on. Yep. I love you guys!
My family. Thanks for keeping the food warm, for allowing my friend to stay over, for allowing to go for the event, for not complaining about the mess, for not commenting on my costume, for worrying about me... THANK YOU! Love you guys too!
The cab driver. For being willing to pick up two crazy girls.
Kaen. You know why. LOL.
SOY... Yeah :)
"I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either."
Whatever that random song is on Jason's playlist...
Yes, I know this is late. I wanted to wait for the SOY photos to be uploaded before I type this. Why? Because I have no intention of typing down every single thing that ocurred. I'm just going to recount the behind-the-scenes stuff that no photographer could have captured. Yes, that word hangs in the air. I dare you to vocalise it in front of me. Can't? Too bad.
Waited for Kaen for 2 hours. At the MRT station. I went to Chinatown straight after work on Friday night to buy the stuff we need. Good thing too, as most of the shops were already clsoing at 630pm. Super early, but not unexpected. Only a handful of shops were open due to the post Chinese New Year break they were all on. Most of the shop owners were really nice to give me generous discounts. Guess they wanted to start the year on a good note. Either that or they already had a windfall from the New Year crowd. Haha. I shop, according to my mom, like a guy, so I was done at around 7pm. So I waited for my uke (HAHA) at Chinatown, and later at my home's bus stop. Killed time waiting for her to fly down with our costumes and her rifle from Kai. Helped a few tourists with their ez-link cards, push prams through the barrier, direct more tourists to the correct train... SBS Transit ought to pay me.
We reached my grandma's place around 9pm. Yes. I had dinner at 9pm when my lunch for that day was... 1pm. I'm astonished that I did not faint or anything. Kaen looked... hilariously like an oba-san. What with the enormous Daiso bag and her bag and the rifle in the cardboard and her looking tired... I laughed hysterically when I saw her. Come on, I was tired too. Though I killed some more time mugging for my driving test...
At home, we started by slacking around, deciding on who baths first. Turns out it did not matter, as we ended up sewing and taping on my bedroom floor. We must have been such a sight. One taping leather straps and arranging it haphazardly while the other sews this ugly snake thing. Syuffed it with newspaper. Seriously ugly. Still, its accurate, as Dorothea's magic sucks. LOL. Went to bed around midnight as we wanted to reduce eyebags.
Woke up at 8am. I think its my internal alarm from working at MBA. Work strats at 10am, so waking up at 8am is ideal. Haha. Kaen had used her cape as a blanket in the middle of the night. Its expensive satin, so it feels awesome. Really nice. Smooth. I want a satin cape too~ Anyhow, while I was busy packing my house and getting my things ready, that girl was reading manga at my veranda. Ludwig. Yes, she said it was research, but it so obviously was her slacking! So we only started working at 930am. I assure you, that is plenty late for people who still have to cmplete boot covers, sew costumes, finish snake, make up, wig... We were suppose to lunch with Vivi at noon. We reached Ngee Ann Poly at 2pm. Two hours late. Cabbed there. Vivien even bought us lunch. Can you believe it?! Vivi, we owe you so much. Never again will I arrange to meet you when I have an event. Poor Vivi. We were running around my house to get things ready, hugging the dustbin to cut the wig... My make up was awful. I am getting a new eyeliner. Sochii-san has recommended some, so might try it out.
The event area was tiny. Made a new friend. Reina-san. She actually met the Pure Boys guys in JAPAN! In REAL LIFE! Apparently, she sings well too. Super cool. She met the actor of Tezuka from the third cast of Tenimyu. I have just forgotten his name. Anyway, she's really nice. Hung out with us for a bit and the both of us were going on and on about Prince of Tennis. Atobe-sama is love~. Celebrated Rinya's birthday. She's born on the same day as Dad and hyde. Another January 29th baby.
Kaen looked awesome. Compared to her, I just looked like any other meido running around in the event. She had a rifle. That counts for something. And she was in red. Which is quite a rare colour even in the most normal of events. Added to the fact that she does look hot... Haha. I'll be surprised if no one stalks her. I feel so proud of her. And my sewing skills as her straps did not split. Haha. Sochii-san was suppose to be there as well, but we never met her. So near, yet so far. Oh well.
Now the fun part.
I want to thank these people for making SOY a happy time for me...
Vivi and Choonie. Thank you for carting things, opening bottle caps, buying food, talking to us... Thank you for the time, effort and companionship. I shall never ever drag you guys to events that you are not participating in ever again. I feel awful. Serious. So you guys can rest assured that I'll look around for some way to take care of my belongngs from now on. Yep. I love you guys!
My family. Thanks for keeping the food warm, for allowing my friend to stay over, for allowing to go for the event, for not complaining about the mess, for not commenting on my costume, for worrying about me... THANK YOU! Love you guys too!
The cab driver. For being willing to pick up two crazy girls.
Kaen. You know why. LOL.
SOY... Yeah :)
"I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either."
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Stop
Playlist
Random sounds from the television in the living room
I have been attacked by paper. So much so that I have sustained multiple injuries. I am so going to bring gloves tomorrow.
I think I'll miss everyone at MBA.
Celine and her kawaii way of typing. She's super nice. Never gets mad at me, despite the few times that I screwed up. And left documents in the printing room. And talked, not so softly, on my phone. And... Yeah. She's never mad at me. I mean, I think I'm hard to get along with, but she so absolutely told me that those born in the Year of the Dog and Horse get along well with each other. Wow. I really like her. Our little walks around campus. Searching high and low for exits. Borrowing equipment. Figuring out how things work. A bond. I am, after all, her first temp staff. We did trial and error on quite a few of the systems. Conquered mountains of applications. Shared jokes... Oh man. I've yet to leave and I already feel nostalgic!
Then there's Jason, who sits in the cubicle right next to us. He goes on and on about people, namely me, who do not punch holes proplerly, in a nice way. He complains that I bully him, I so do not!, and that I look too happy when I offload work onto him. Shucks. I sorta felt he was imposing at first, I think its the built, but... He's a nice guy.
Next up are Richard and Edwin. Is it me or does all the MBA staff have English names... Hmm. Anyhow, Richard's... Err. Shall I say it nicely? He has his own style of working. I shall leave it at that. Edwin. Ah. He has, certain... Issues. Still, the both of them are alright. No one dangerous. No one too outstanding. Alright as colleagues.
Finally. Angelyn. She's the head of us, so I guess she's considered my boss. Or are all of them my boss since the temp is the lowest ranked? Whatever. She's bubbly. Adorable. Quite serious when need be, and tends to hog the toilet key. Hilarious incidents of Celine and I hunting high and low for the key. not exactly pleasant when your bladder is full, but on the whole? Funny.
I've had a good time. Free lunches. Staff discounts. Much laughter. A relaxed environment where everyone seems at peace, if not happy. Fighting with the printer. Learning to scan copies. Weighing mail. Addressing cards. Putting together admission packages. An agreement not to answer phone calls... This two months have been a blast. Thank you for hiring me. For working with me. For accepting me.
Byebye :)
"The end of one road is the beginning of another."
Random sounds from the television in the living room
I have been attacked by paper. So much so that I have sustained multiple injuries. I am so going to bring gloves tomorrow.
I think I'll miss everyone at MBA.
Celine and her kawaii way of typing. She's super nice. Never gets mad at me, despite the few times that I screwed up. And left documents in the printing room. And talked, not so softly, on my phone. And... Yeah. She's never mad at me. I mean, I think I'm hard to get along with, but she so absolutely told me that those born in the Year of the Dog and Horse get along well with each other. Wow. I really like her. Our little walks around campus. Searching high and low for exits. Borrowing equipment. Figuring out how things work. A bond. I am, after all, her first temp staff. We did trial and error on quite a few of the systems. Conquered mountains of applications. Shared jokes... Oh man. I've yet to leave and I already feel nostalgic!
Then there's Jason, who sits in the cubicle right next to us. He goes on and on about people, namely me, who do not punch holes proplerly, in a nice way. He complains that I bully him, I so do not!, and that I look too happy when I offload work onto him. Shucks. I sorta felt he was imposing at first, I think its the built, but... He's a nice guy.
Next up are Richard and Edwin. Is it me or does all the MBA staff have English names... Hmm. Anyhow, Richard's... Err. Shall I say it nicely? He has his own style of working. I shall leave it at that. Edwin. Ah. He has, certain... Issues. Still, the both of them are alright. No one dangerous. No one too outstanding. Alright as colleagues.
Finally. Angelyn. She's the head of us, so I guess she's considered my boss. Or are all of them my boss since the temp is the lowest ranked? Whatever. She's bubbly. Adorable. Quite serious when need be, and tends to hog the toilet key. Hilarious incidents of Celine and I hunting high and low for the key. not exactly pleasant when your bladder is full, but on the whole? Funny.
I've had a good time. Free lunches. Staff discounts. Much laughter. A relaxed environment where everyone seems at peace, if not happy. Fighting with the printer. Learning to scan copies. Weighing mail. Addressing cards. Putting together admission packages. An agreement not to answer phone calls... This two months have been a blast. Thank you for hiring me. For working with me. For accepting me.
Byebye :)
"The end of one road is the beginning of another."
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
Bitch
Playlist
Asrun Dreams by Gackt
You can say what you want. You can do whatever you want. I won't change my values. Yeah. Go ahead. Insult me. Ostracize me. At least I know that I have a foothold. I may lack a sense of purpose, but I know that my purpose will not be to kowtow to jerks like you. Yeah. I'm bitchy. So? You got a problem with that?
Things that piss me off are numerous. But for the sake of fools out there, I'm going to shorten it down into this post. I'll even give brief descriptions of my pet peeves. And I know you read my blog, so take note. Next time, I'll skin you alive and grill you. Not because I'm violent or anything. Just because. Yeah. I'm a 'vengeful female ghost remember'? Think Alma from F.E.A.R. 2. Not because I play the game. Inside joke. I know you don't get it.
Peeve 3:
People who cannot be bothered to remember birthdays. I don't care if you're bad with numbers or dates. Its not like I'm asking you to remember the birthday of everyone you meet. I'm talking about family, close friends, spouses... YOUR GIRLFRIEND/boyfriend. You know. It matters. I know there are a hundred and one different anniversaries, what with date of first date, date of first meeting, date of whatever-you-want-to-commemorate... But the birthday tops it ALL. So you better at least send a freaking SMS. For goodness sake, you have some 1000 free SMSes. Whats ONE for your GIRLFRIEND?! Even if its late, its better than NOTHING you jerk!
Peeve 2:
People who don't bother to do research. This applies to cosplayers, MBA applicants, friends, interviewees... The list extends. I cannot bring myself to respect those who cannot respect others. Not bothering to find out about the character, the programme, the requirements... It reeks of selfishness and lack of awareness of yourself and your surroundings. I do not suscribe to the excuse of no time. We all have time. Its how we squeeze and organize our day. Its how we sacrifice the indulgences to do what needs to be done. I'm not asking you to go without food, drink and sleep. I'm asking you to NOT watch that one hour of TV to do something more conducive. Sheesh.
And one of the most irritating thing I've come to realised is that of...
Peeve 1:
People with no sense of hygiene. Brush your teeth. Bath. Change your clothes. Wash your hair. Put your feet on the floor. Stop picking your nose. Trim your nails AT HOME. Goodness. the things people do. Or not do. Its no longer a matter of what looks good. It is being clean. Is that so difficult? Have you no self-awareness? Must you walk around without shoes?????? Yes. This is targeted at you. Slimy. Gross. I don't want to touch anything that you use. Stop. just beacuse you're male does not change the fact that you're icky. Puh-lease. I have no wish to stereotype but you fall into the category of 'men who are not attached or married after a certain age are weird'. I'm sure this is not true of many others. Maybe your fate is to get married at 80. I have honestly no idea. But from what I can see... You're dirty. A louse. Begone!
There, I've let of some steam. Please try not to fall into any of the above catergories. I tend to be not so nice. Otherwise... I'm sure I have a charming personality :)
"You have GOT to be joking..."
Asrun Dreams by Gackt
You can say what you want. You can do whatever you want. I won't change my values. Yeah. Go ahead. Insult me. Ostracize me. At least I know that I have a foothold. I may lack a sense of purpose, but I know that my purpose will not be to kowtow to jerks like you. Yeah. I'm bitchy. So? You got a problem with that?
Things that piss me off are numerous. But for the sake of fools out there, I'm going to shorten it down into this post. I'll even give brief descriptions of my pet peeves. And I know you read my blog, so take note. Next time, I'll skin you alive and grill you. Not because I'm violent or anything. Just because. Yeah. I'm a 'vengeful female ghost remember'? Think Alma from F.E.A.R. 2. Not because I play the game. Inside joke. I know you don't get it.
Peeve 3:
People who cannot be bothered to remember birthdays. I don't care if you're bad with numbers or dates. Its not like I'm asking you to remember the birthday of everyone you meet. I'm talking about family, close friends, spouses... YOUR GIRLFRIEND/boyfriend. You know. It matters. I know there are a hundred and one different anniversaries, what with date of first date, date of first meeting, date of whatever-you-want-to-commemorate... But the birthday tops it ALL. So you better at least send a freaking SMS. For goodness sake, you have some 1000 free SMSes. Whats ONE for your GIRLFRIEND?! Even if its late, its better than NOTHING you jerk!
Peeve 2:
People who don't bother to do research. This applies to cosplayers, MBA applicants, friends, interviewees... The list extends. I cannot bring myself to respect those who cannot respect others. Not bothering to find out about the character, the programme, the requirements... It reeks of selfishness and lack of awareness of yourself and your surroundings. I do not suscribe to the excuse of no time. We all have time. Its how we squeeze and organize our day. Its how we sacrifice the indulgences to do what needs to be done. I'm not asking you to go without food, drink and sleep. I'm asking you to NOT watch that one hour of TV to do something more conducive. Sheesh.
And one of the most irritating thing I've come to realised is that of...
Peeve 1:
People with no sense of hygiene. Brush your teeth. Bath. Change your clothes. Wash your hair. Put your feet on the floor. Stop picking your nose. Trim your nails AT HOME. Goodness. the things people do. Or not do. Its no longer a matter of what looks good. It is being clean. Is that so difficult? Have you no self-awareness? Must you walk around without shoes?????? Yes. This is targeted at you. Slimy. Gross. I don't want to touch anything that you use. Stop. just beacuse you're male does not change the fact that you're icky. Puh-lease. I have no wish to stereotype but you fall into the category of 'men who are not attached or married after a certain age are weird'. I'm sure this is not true of many others. Maybe your fate is to get married at 80. I have honestly no idea. But from what I can see... You're dirty. A louse. Begone!
There, I've let of some steam. Please try not to fall into any of the above catergories. I tend to be not so nice. Otherwise... I'm sure I have a charming personality :)
"You have GOT to be joking..."
Monday, 19 January 2009
Resolution
Playlist
Kimi Hana by pigstar
This gal needs sleep. Money. Time. And entertainment. I am bored. Hopelessly so. There is this emptiness. Like a jellyfish drifting aimlessly in the sea. What is missing I wonder? I say its post-cosplay depression. But I wonder... is that really the problem? I think not. I think its something more pressing.
It has been 2 months since my last exam paper. Strangely enough it feels as if it has been longer. After all, I found a job one week after my last paper. So I've worked for about the same amount of time. I regret to say that I have been job hopping. And I think I will continue to job hop until I am able to do something that gets rid of this feeling of emptiness. i am not going to mope about. In a way, I have lost my footing. I destroyed the land I was standing upon. I know. Stupid of me. Still, this does not mean that I am about to drown. I won't go down like that. Not with so many things left undone. I shall not lose myself again.
I have seen things that I had rather not seen. I have said things I had rather not have to say. I have done things I had wish I do not have to do. My life is always like this. No matter how hard I struggle, there are still the things that you regret. Indeed, it was the best decision at that point in time. Indeed, I make it a point to minimise my regrets. Yet... And yet... It happens. I know. something I cannot fight, that I cannot win against. I try. I do. I fail. Is it worth it? At that moment, until this moment, yes.
Why does work accumulate when you're busy? And not come at all when you desperately want to do something? Why do you receive three calls all at once, and none when you want someone to call? Why do people take others for granted? Why doesn't that freaking bugger who told you to ignore offloaded work be the idiot who offloads his work onto you!? Why am I underpaid? And seriously overworked?
I might as well wait for a return message from a bottle I hurled into the sea...
"Yes, I'm having a fabulous time. I'm having so much fun that I'm coughing blood."
Kimi Hana by pigstar
This gal needs sleep. Money. Time. And entertainment. I am bored. Hopelessly so. There is this emptiness. Like a jellyfish drifting aimlessly in the sea. What is missing I wonder? I say its post-cosplay depression. But I wonder... is that really the problem? I think not. I think its something more pressing.
It has been 2 months since my last exam paper. Strangely enough it feels as if it has been longer. After all, I found a job one week after my last paper. So I've worked for about the same amount of time. I regret to say that I have been job hopping. And I think I will continue to job hop until I am able to do something that gets rid of this feeling of emptiness. i am not going to mope about. In a way, I have lost my footing. I destroyed the land I was standing upon. I know. Stupid of me. Still, this does not mean that I am about to drown. I won't go down like that. Not with so many things left undone. I shall not lose myself again.
I have seen things that I had rather not seen. I have said things I had rather not have to say. I have done things I had wish I do not have to do. My life is always like this. No matter how hard I struggle, there are still the things that you regret. Indeed, it was the best decision at that point in time. Indeed, I make it a point to minimise my regrets. Yet... And yet... It happens. I know. something I cannot fight, that I cannot win against. I try. I do. I fail. Is it worth it? At that moment, until this moment, yes.
Why does work accumulate when you're busy? And not come at all when you desperately want to do something? Why do you receive three calls all at once, and none when you want someone to call? Why do people take others for granted? Why doesn't that freaking bugger who told you to ignore offloaded work be the idiot who offloads his work onto you!? Why am I underpaid? And seriously overworked?
I might as well wait for a return message from a bottle I hurled into the sea...
"Yes, I'm having a fabulous time. I'm having so much fun that I'm coughing blood."
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Egad
Playlist
twinkle, twinkle by L'Arc~en~Ciel
I don't believe it. I'm still awake. I'm so going to be killed by Dad. He's coming back on the 7AM flight. How in the world am I going to clean the house? How in the world am I in the world going to do laundry without Sir Super Slack finding out about the jeans? What will I say when my mom asks me about all the clothes? I'm so dead. Dead I tell you. My alimentary canal hurts. Insufficient carbohydrates. Yeah. I'm at the photo shoot chalet now. Finished bathing. Wore a wig for more than 10 hours. Make up for as long. Nowaki. Kusou Nowaki from JunJou Romantica. I have no idea if I look alright. Cause everything that I see in the mirror is my own perspective. From a slightly different angle, I might look absolutely Nowaki, and from yet another... Fail. Still, I've yet to be told that I look awful. So I assume its ok. Not erroneously, I hope. I'll link to the site when its done. So far has a few. Here is a video, and here are some photos. I'm not direct linking, so you'll have to scroll down a bit on the thread. Yup. My team. I'm hardly ever posting as there are some problems with my home's connection. Still, it does not mean that I'm not active!
The photos were taken with Kaen. We were absolutely in character. Without trying to be. It was an unconscious thing. The reactions were all natural. The expressions were not very difficult. If a photographer was following us the entire time, its scary how you need people to stalk you at certain points, and if we had a imaginative helper... The sky was likely to be the limit. I'm serious. I'm not saying Melo is a poor helper! Absolutely not! She's super cute and great... But she had to leave early... Not her fault! Oh well.
I think it was thanks to the 7 years. The similar interests. It made shooting pretty easy. Nothing felt unnatural. Quite comfortable with her. Like duh. When she shoved me away, I was really hurt. Not acting. Its that you don't expect someone you know so well to push you away. You're thrown off guard by the force, the intent, the person... Everything. I think if Hiroki pushed Nowaki away, I'd cry if I were him. I was really hurt... When I was lying down, the smug satisfaction was for real, as I was so tired that lying down felt so good. Really good. Come on. Everyone doing everything for you... And all you need to do is lie there and look happy. Duh you'll look happy!
I don't want to go back to work. I'm in the mood to laze. Yes. I'll go sleep when my hair dries. I do need to go back to reality. I need sleep. Will continue when I have time...
"I do not need an eternity. I only need an eternal moment."
twinkle, twinkle by L'Arc~en~Ciel
I don't believe it. I'm still awake. I'm so going to be killed by Dad. He's coming back on the 7AM flight. How in the world am I going to clean the house? How in the world am I in the world going to do laundry without Sir Super Slack finding out about the jeans? What will I say when my mom asks me about all the clothes? I'm so dead. Dead I tell you. My alimentary canal hurts. Insufficient carbohydrates. Yeah. I'm at the photo shoot chalet now. Finished bathing. Wore a wig for more than 10 hours. Make up for as long. Nowaki. Kusou Nowaki from JunJou Romantica. I have no idea if I look alright. Cause everything that I see in the mirror is my own perspective. From a slightly different angle, I might look absolutely Nowaki, and from yet another... Fail. Still, I've yet to be told that I look awful. So I assume its ok. Not erroneously, I hope. I'll link to the site when its done. So far has a few. Here is a video, and here are some photos. I'm not direct linking, so you'll have to scroll down a bit on the thread. Yup. My team. I'm hardly ever posting as there are some problems with my home's connection. Still, it does not mean that I'm not active!
The photos were taken with Kaen. We were absolutely in character. Without trying to be. It was an unconscious thing. The reactions were all natural. The expressions were not very difficult. If a photographer was following us the entire time, its scary how you need people to stalk you at certain points, and if we had a imaginative helper... The sky was likely to be the limit. I'm serious. I'm not saying Melo is a poor helper! Absolutely not! She's super cute and great... But she had to leave early... Not her fault! Oh well.
I think it was thanks to the 7 years. The similar interests. It made shooting pretty easy. Nothing felt unnatural. Quite comfortable with her. Like duh. When she shoved me away, I was really hurt. Not acting. Its that you don't expect someone you know so well to push you away. You're thrown off guard by the force, the intent, the person... Everything. I think if Hiroki pushed Nowaki away, I'd cry if I were him. I was really hurt... When I was lying down, the smug satisfaction was for real, as I was so tired that lying down felt so good. Really good. Come on. Everyone doing everything for you... And all you need to do is lie there and look happy. Duh you'll look happy!
I don't want to go back to work. I'm in the mood to laze. Yes. I'll go sleep when my hair dries. I do need to go back to reality. I need sleep. Will continue when I have time...
"I do not need an eternity. I only need an eternal moment."
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
Ponyo
Playlist
My Dear by L'Arc-en-Ciel
Ponyo! Oh my goodness, Ponyo is super KAWAII! I watched the movie on thefirst day of the year. With my parents. Yeah. How old am I to still watch movies with my parents? There were loads of kids in the cinema. Making lots of noise. Babbling to their parents. Complaining that they need to go to the toilet. I have nothing against the kids. Kids will be kids. I'm actually pissed by their parents. To begin with, the movie is in JAPANESE. Unless the tot happens to know Japanese, I have no idea how they will understand what is being said. Indeed, the Japanese used is not too difficult, but some portions cannot exactly be understood based on viewing alone. So... I suppose they expect their little darlings to learn Japanese on the spot. I mean, their children can't read the subtitles. How else will they understand what is going on? Oh. I know! They'll spend the whole movie explaining to their kid. And disturbing me next to them.
Just started my Japanese lessons. Mine is a really large class, with about twenty-five students. Its a beginner class. Hougang. One minute away from Heartland Mall. My teacher is Singaporean, which, at the beginner level is preferred. After all, you do need someone to explain the basics to you. Translate. Create learning links. That sort of thing. Alright so far. This evening will be the second lesson, but I already have homework to complete.
I will not be applying for overseas university this year. Reason is simple. Too many things going on all at once. Also, its not like I will not be able to apply next year. A transfer is quite normal overseas. Of course, its best if I can get in the first time round, but... The glamour is lost. I still want to pursue higher education overseas as I feel that the quality of education is better. Holistically of course.
I have ventured into the Korean music industry. TVXQ in particular. Mirotic, especially. I know, I know, parts of it looks like washing machine powder advertisement. Still. While I will not say their singing is fantastic, its pretty reasonable. That, and the fact that they are extremely easy on the eyes. Plus, they can dance! The washing machine powder advertisement dance it is, but overall is okay. Haha. This, does not mean that I have abandoned the Japanese music industry. In fact, I'm curently playing Malice Mizer's Le Ciel. I have listened to the CD so many times that I think I'll scratch the CD, while my phone constantly runs out of battery. Testimony of my love of Le Ciel.
I'm afraid my posters will start to yellow. Must constantly maintain the status of my shrine...
"Without you, there would be more oxygen for me."
My Dear by L'Arc-en-Ciel
Ponyo! Oh my goodness, Ponyo is super KAWAII! I watched the movie on thefirst day of the year. With my parents. Yeah. How old am I to still watch movies with my parents? There were loads of kids in the cinema. Making lots of noise. Babbling to their parents. Complaining that they need to go to the toilet. I have nothing against the kids. Kids will be kids. I'm actually pissed by their parents. To begin with, the movie is in JAPANESE. Unless the tot happens to know Japanese, I have no idea how they will understand what is being said. Indeed, the Japanese used is not too difficult, but some portions cannot exactly be understood based on viewing alone. So... I suppose they expect their little darlings to learn Japanese on the spot. I mean, their children can't read the subtitles. How else will they understand what is going on? Oh. I know! They'll spend the whole movie explaining to their kid. And disturbing me next to them.
Just started my Japanese lessons. Mine is a really large class, with about twenty-five students. Its a beginner class. Hougang. One minute away from Heartland Mall. My teacher is Singaporean, which, at the beginner level is preferred. After all, you do need someone to explain the basics to you. Translate. Create learning links. That sort of thing. Alright so far. This evening will be the second lesson, but I already have homework to complete.
I will not be applying for overseas university this year. Reason is simple. Too many things going on all at once. Also, its not like I will not be able to apply next year. A transfer is quite normal overseas. Of course, its best if I can get in the first time round, but... The glamour is lost. I still want to pursue higher education overseas as I feel that the quality of education is better. Holistically of course.
I have ventured into the Korean music industry. TVXQ in particular. Mirotic, especially. I know, I know, parts of it looks like washing machine powder advertisement. Still. While I will not say their singing is fantastic, its pretty reasonable. That, and the fact that they are extremely easy on the eyes. Plus, they can dance! The washing machine powder advertisement dance it is, but overall is okay. Haha. This, does not mean that I have abandoned the Japanese music industry. In fact, I'm curently playing Malice Mizer's Le Ciel. I have listened to the CD so many times that I think I'll scratch the CD, while my phone constantly runs out of battery. Testimony of my love of Le Ciel.
I'm afraid my posters will start to yellow. Must constantly maintain the status of my shrine...
"Without you, there would be more oxygen for me."
Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Decay
Playlist
Milky Way bu L'Arc~en~Ciel
You are nothing but a perverted old man. You have no talent and exceedingly limited ability. Stop trying to convince yourself that you are an 18 year-old. You are not. Where do you think you are? A bar? Goodness, you are no where near hot enough to participate in some lousy half-hearted strip tease. I'm not interested. At all. You think you're so funny, so mature, so knowledgeable. Like Hell you are. A narrow-minded frog in a well. What you are so proud of is merely a title. One that you're not even worthy of. I know people who are far better than you. Both in personality and ability. Furthermore, I am not a child. Just because I'm polite does not mean I'm alright with the crap you dish out. You are so predictable. Nothing special. Just the result of a flawed system. Get lost. You think you are so special. You are most definitely not. Yes, I'm being rude. you'll most probably never see this, but just in case you do, good for you. Welcome to the 21st century. Dinosaur.
In one day, I have listened to Nps Ngs five times, Le ciel three times, Returner four times. Not to mention Rebirth and Heart. Yes. I'm listening to music in the office. No harm apparently. Not with two-thirds of the staff absent. I think when the new year begins, I'll miss playing music more than anything else. In a way, my job is really simple. And the workload depends on the applicants. So if the applicants take it easy, my days at the office are like today. Blogging. Listening to music. There's nothing I can do! I believe in devotion to task, yet, when my task is to update applications... There's a limit to how devoted you can get. I'm actually creating work for myself to do. Maybe I should quit. There is hardly any fulfillment. Answering phone calls, sorting documents, updating the online status, replying to enquiries, troubleshooting... Maybe I should do something else. I can feel my brain cells dying.
Eyeliner. Lots of it. Gackt, SID, Laruku. I have the posters. All of them wear eyeliner, with some more than the other. I mean, yukihiro seems to be the type who only uses eyeliner when in the more Gothic Laruku PVs. Gackt on the other hand... Go watch his Sekirei PV. Especially as he blinks awake... I personally like his general appearance in Vanilla and Le Ciel. Hair neither too short nor too long. The fingernails in Le Ciel is suicidal though. The other band members seem to be colour coded. Like blue for Mana, he and his French princess, red for Kozi, purple for Kami, yellow for Yu~ki and... Goodness knows what is Gackt's colour. Still, he looks amazingly, broodingly handsome.
Going by my recent posts, one would think that I have converted my Laruku shrine into a Gackt shrine. Nope. Its still all up there. Staring at me as I do my push-ups, plank and other static exercises in my room. A great motivator. There's this consistent stress that comes from knowing that you're not as fit as them. Okay. I'm using euphemisms. I'll be honest. There is A LOT of pressure that comes from waking up next to their inhumane godliness. I mean, I don't feel a need to lose 10kg and strive towards model thinness, but seriously, losing about 5kg would be real sweet. Yeah. Its that kind of unhealthy feeling. I know! I'm being weird. Still, I realise that my metabolic rate has slowed... And I'm seriously unfit. So its a good thing that I now have a goal. Although it is rather ambiguous. My aim is to be fit, and healthy enough that I don't feel self-conscious in my own room. Good luck to me.
" A fallen fruit... Hastening the process of decay..."
Milky Way bu L'Arc~en~Ciel
You are nothing but a perverted old man. You have no talent and exceedingly limited ability. Stop trying to convince yourself that you are an 18 year-old. You are not. Where do you think you are? A bar? Goodness, you are no where near hot enough to participate in some lousy half-hearted strip tease. I'm not interested. At all. You think you're so funny, so mature, so knowledgeable. Like Hell you are. A narrow-minded frog in a well. What you are so proud of is merely a title. One that you're not even worthy of. I know people who are far better than you. Both in personality and ability. Furthermore, I am not a child. Just because I'm polite does not mean I'm alright with the crap you dish out. You are so predictable. Nothing special. Just the result of a flawed system. Get lost. You think you are so special. You are most definitely not. Yes, I'm being rude. you'll most probably never see this, but just in case you do, good for you. Welcome to the 21st century. Dinosaur.
In one day, I have listened to Nps Ngs five times, Le ciel three times, Returner four times. Not to mention Rebirth and Heart. Yes. I'm listening to music in the office. No harm apparently. Not with two-thirds of the staff absent. I think when the new year begins, I'll miss playing music more than anything else. In a way, my job is really simple. And the workload depends on the applicants. So if the applicants take it easy, my days at the office are like today. Blogging. Listening to music. There's nothing I can do! I believe in devotion to task, yet, when my task is to update applications... There's a limit to how devoted you can get. I'm actually creating work for myself to do. Maybe I should quit. There is hardly any fulfillment. Answering phone calls, sorting documents, updating the online status, replying to enquiries, troubleshooting... Maybe I should do something else. I can feel my brain cells dying.
Eyeliner. Lots of it. Gackt, SID, Laruku. I have the posters. All of them wear eyeliner, with some more than the other. I mean, yukihiro seems to be the type who only uses eyeliner when in the more Gothic Laruku PVs. Gackt on the other hand... Go watch his Sekirei PV. Especially as he blinks awake... I personally like his general appearance in Vanilla and Le Ciel. Hair neither too short nor too long. The fingernails in Le Ciel is suicidal though. The other band members seem to be colour coded. Like blue for Mana, he and his French princess, red for Kozi, purple for Kami, yellow for Yu~ki and... Goodness knows what is Gackt's colour. Still, he looks amazingly, broodingly handsome.
Going by my recent posts, one would think that I have converted my Laruku shrine into a Gackt shrine. Nope. Its still all up there. Staring at me as I do my push-ups, plank and other static exercises in my room. A great motivator. There's this consistent stress that comes from knowing that you're not as fit as them. Okay. I'm using euphemisms. I'll be honest. There is A LOT of pressure that comes from waking up next to their inhumane godliness. I mean, I don't feel a need to lose 10kg and strive towards model thinness, but seriously, losing about 5kg would be real sweet. Yeah. Its that kind of unhealthy feeling. I know! I'm being weird. Still, I realise that my metabolic rate has slowed... And I'm seriously unfit. So its a good thing that I now have a goal. Although it is rather ambiguous. My aim is to be fit, and healthy enough that I don't feel self-conscious in my own room. Good luck to me.
" A fallen fruit... Hastening the process of decay..."
Monday, 29 December 2008
Diverge
Playlist
Bel-Air by Malice Mizer
Goodness. The office is virtually freezing today. I took a look at the thermostat. It was 21.5 degree Celsius. In tropical Singapore. No wonder. I generally like the cold, but in this place where the air is stale... And the carpet smells like... Well, carpet. Believe me, its quite awful. Claustrophobic? Not so much as a morgue. Yeah. I'm thinking too much. I'm speculating. I'm being nonsensical. Guess its because of the music. Been listening to Malice Mizer for way too long. After all, when you have N.p.s. N.g.s. set as your message tone and at repeat... You go lulu after a while. I have no idea what the acronyms mean. I don't want to guess either. You can go listen to it and imagine what the whole bunch of them are trying to convey. I'll just self-hypnotise. In other words, I'm going to ignore it all.
I feel so terribly insulted. Or should I not? Ok, I'm not exactly HURT or anything. Its just that I feel I OUGHT to feel hurt. Whatever. Anyhow, one of my colleagues just mentioned that I have a supremely mugger look. He, yes, a he. Age 35. Single. Likes Indian food. Those who know me will know the rest of the details. What he said was that my spectacles and hair puts me in a 'MUGGER' category. Furthermore, I'm not tan enough. Now I know why the whole bunch of SRF people think I look very different when I'm cosplaying and when I'm in normal clothes. Honestly, I think there's not much of a difference. After all, I've seen myself in all circumstances. In full dance gear with the one-inch make-up, Lolita make-up, be it sweet or Goth... When I have just woken up... When I'm all spotty... Still me inside. At the end of it all, I'm still... Me. No matter how unglamorous I may look. Yes, you can say I'm an arrogant prig who is full of self-love. I don't care. After all, who, on this blue earth, is going to love me the way I love myself? No one.
Going to Kovan to register for Japanese lesson later...
"Yes... Yes... Thank you... Have a nice day!"
Bel-Air by Malice Mizer
Goodness. The office is virtually freezing today. I took a look at the thermostat. It was 21.5 degree Celsius. In tropical Singapore. No wonder. I generally like the cold, but in this place where the air is stale... And the carpet smells like... Well, carpet. Believe me, its quite awful. Claustrophobic? Not so much as a morgue. Yeah. I'm thinking too much. I'm speculating. I'm being nonsensical. Guess its because of the music. Been listening to Malice Mizer for way too long. After all, when you have N.p.s. N.g.s. set as your message tone and at repeat... You go lulu after a while. I have no idea what the acronyms mean. I don't want to guess either. You can go listen to it and imagine what the whole bunch of them are trying to convey. I'll just self-hypnotise. In other words, I'm going to ignore it all.
I feel so terribly insulted. Or should I not? Ok, I'm not exactly HURT or anything. Its just that I feel I OUGHT to feel hurt. Whatever. Anyhow, one of my colleagues just mentioned that I have a supremely mugger look. He, yes, a he. Age 35. Single. Likes Indian food. Those who know me will know the rest of the details. What he said was that my spectacles and hair puts me in a 'MUGGER' category. Furthermore, I'm not tan enough. Now I know why the whole bunch of SRF people think I look very different when I'm cosplaying and when I'm in normal clothes. Honestly, I think there's not much of a difference. After all, I've seen myself in all circumstances. In full dance gear with the one-inch make-up, Lolita make-up, be it sweet or Goth... When I have just woken up... When I'm all spotty... Still me inside. At the end of it all, I'm still... Me. No matter how unglamorous I may look. Yes, you can say I'm an arrogant prig who is full of self-love. I don't care. After all, who, on this blue earth, is going to love me the way I love myself? No one.
Going to Kovan to register for Japanese lesson later...
"Yes... Yes... Thank you... Have a nice day!"
Sunday, 28 December 2008
Baby
Playlist
Le Ciel By Malice Mizer
Merry Christmas! Well, another year where we commercially celebrate the birth of Christ. Personally, I don't feel as guilty this year because I did not buy expensive gifts for myself. Nor anyone else for that matter. Cards and other handmade stuff. Tiring, but much more worth it. The sense of satisfaction from completing something is amazing.
On to frivolous things. I love Gackt's voice. I was wrong to think that Klaha was more suited and Gackt... Yeah. I was wrong. Its two totally different things. Watching videos, low quality ones at that, on Youtube is not an accurate representation of how Gackt sounds. In the CD, he sounds way better. The flamboyance of Malice is absolutely reliant on Gackt's vocals. I think Klaha's bass voice matched the funeral goth route they ventured into in the third stage. Well, Mana is a genius. I mean, the music is excellently produced with considerations for the voice type of the singer. Simply amazing for a guy who refuses to speak to the normal human public. The music of Malice Mizer is like nothing else. This is high praise coming from someone who lives in the world spawned by them. All the Visual Kei groups conbined cannot seem to produce music sufficiently haunting. The Malice Mizer genius, is very simply, their trademark.
How did I get the music? Borrowed the CDs from my PAE classmate Germaine. Its scary how the world is such a small place. Evidently, her sister is a huge Gackt fan. So she lent me a whole bunch of Gackt and Laruku CDs. Now that I've seen the originals, I'm convincede that if I ever have the good fortune to chance upon a windfall, I'll go get all the Gackt CDs available. The cover art and the song booklet and... The entire packaging is great! Its no longer just for the music, but everything. Especially how he addresses his fanclub. Its called DEARS. So yeah. A personal, intimate form of address. Boy does he know how to take advantage of his fans. Haha. Willing. Like I mentioned to Kaen, I'll gladly let him stab me with a knife. Lost cause.
I have a new phone! N6500s. The improved version of my Dad's previous phone. The nice, old, interface. Metal casing. Same weight as my previous phone. Able to take great photos. Sorts my music... Wonderful yeah? I actually wanted to get the W980. I mean, 8GB? And its Sony Ericsson. Nice music quality. The price tag was hefty, however. Something like 6 times the price of my current phone. No way am I paying that much. I'd feel guilty if my parents got it for me. This is as its not really essential to my living. I can survive with another phone, like my current baby. maybe I'll wait until its much cheaper...
"Magic or merriment... Communion with Nimrod..."
Le Ciel By Malice Mizer
Merry Christmas! Well, another year where we commercially celebrate the birth of Christ. Personally, I don't feel as guilty this year because I did not buy expensive gifts for myself. Nor anyone else for that matter. Cards and other handmade stuff. Tiring, but much more worth it. The sense of satisfaction from completing something is amazing.
On to frivolous things. I love Gackt's voice. I was wrong to think that Klaha was more suited and Gackt... Yeah. I was wrong. Its two totally different things. Watching videos, low quality ones at that, on Youtube is not an accurate representation of how Gackt sounds. In the CD, he sounds way better. The flamboyance of Malice is absolutely reliant on Gackt's vocals. I think Klaha's bass voice matched the funeral goth route they ventured into in the third stage. Well, Mana is a genius. I mean, the music is excellently produced with considerations for the voice type of the singer. Simply amazing for a guy who refuses to speak to the normal human public. The music of Malice Mizer is like nothing else. This is high praise coming from someone who lives in the world spawned by them. All the Visual Kei groups conbined cannot seem to produce music sufficiently haunting. The Malice Mizer genius, is very simply, their trademark.
How did I get the music? Borrowed the CDs from my PAE classmate Germaine. Its scary how the world is such a small place. Evidently, her sister is a huge Gackt fan. So she lent me a whole bunch of Gackt and Laruku CDs. Now that I've seen the originals, I'm convincede that if I ever have the good fortune to chance upon a windfall, I'll go get all the Gackt CDs available. The cover art and the song booklet and... The entire packaging is great! Its no longer just for the music, but everything. Especially how he addresses his fanclub. Its called DEARS. So yeah. A personal, intimate form of address. Boy does he know how to take advantage of his fans. Haha. Willing. Like I mentioned to Kaen, I'll gladly let him stab me with a knife. Lost cause.
I have a new phone! N6500s. The improved version of my Dad's previous phone. The nice, old, interface. Metal casing. Same weight as my previous phone. Able to take great photos. Sorts my music... Wonderful yeah? I actually wanted to get the W980. I mean, 8GB? And its Sony Ericsson. Nice music quality. The price tag was hefty, however. Something like 6 times the price of my current phone. No way am I paying that much. I'd feel guilty if my parents got it for me. This is as its not really essential to my living. I can survive with another phone, like my current baby. maybe I'll wait until its much cheaper...
"Magic or merriment... Communion with Nimrod..."
Wednesday, 24 December 2008
Returning
Playlist
Returner ~ Yami no Shuuen~ by Gackt
Goodness. I'm in love with Gackt again. Not that I've abandoned my half completed Laruku shrine... But watch the video above. Singing about love in the midst of battle. Its seriously impressive, although it sounds strange when I put it in writing. Oh well. It does not matter whether or not you are a Gackt fan. The sheer depth of feeling conveyed is sufficient to convince you that Gackt is a genius. And that he looks hot. In a smothering, depressed hero kind of way. Lol. From his Furinkazan stint? Oh. New single is called Jesus. I wonder if the Japanese are rediscovering Christianity. hyde's music has been increasingly religious too. Still, Returner and Mizerable are my absolute favourites. For me, I like Gackt because of his ability to convert his soft-spoken voice into really haunting vocals. His voice is not powerful, well at least from the PVs and CDs, but it sticks in your head. The music is also amazing enough for the tune to just keep replaying. The visual feast that is his PV does not hurt either :) Guess its from his VKei roots...
Enough of Gackt! I've ripped an astonishing number of hyde's photos from the net. I can't help it! hyde is just so absolutely photogenic! In a way, he's a bit like a vampire... You know, the never aging part? He totally does not look like he's 40 next year! Haha. Well, he's exceedingly private, so the age is the result of speculating and math done by crazy fan girls like me. Lol. In a way, 40 is the minimum age. Any younger and... Well, lets just say he would not be able to would not be able to do certain things when he started out. Gackt too. Minimum is 35 next year. Another age-less vampire. I can understand why, after all, the entertainment industry is seriously hard on those without the glamour of youth. Which makes the Japanese entertainment industry kind on those who are old. Well, at least men. Like I said previously, men need maturity. I mean, there's Laruku, Gackt... a whole lot of singers in middle age... Even Mana! Goodness knows how old he is... A friend of mine commented that he looks a bit like the Thai transvestite prostitutes when he models as a female recently. I think its age influencing his face shape. I don't know. He still looks ok to me, but... I still admire him, but I think he should stop the cross-dressing modelling. He looks good as a guy. Should just stick with it. Mana fans, please don't kill me!
Ah! I found a blog that reviewed hyde's album, Faith. Here. I don't really agree with all the reviews, but its a rather accurate representation of my general review of the album. To me, Faith is something like 4 stars on the whole, with a few songs 3 stars. So the girl's reaction is a bit extreme. Still, its worth reading.
I want new stuff to listen...
"If I can see you again... If only in a dream... Please let me have eternal sleep..."
Returner ~ Yami no Shuuen~ by Gackt
Goodness. I'm in love with Gackt again. Not that I've abandoned my half completed Laruku shrine... But watch the video above. Singing about love in the midst of battle. Its seriously impressive, although it sounds strange when I put it in writing. Oh well. It does not matter whether or not you are a Gackt fan. The sheer depth of feeling conveyed is sufficient to convince you that Gackt is a genius. And that he looks hot. In a smothering, depressed hero kind of way. Lol. From his Furinkazan stint? Oh. New single is called Jesus. I wonder if the Japanese are rediscovering Christianity. hyde's music has been increasingly religious too. Still, Returner and Mizerable are my absolute favourites. For me, I like Gackt because of his ability to convert his soft-spoken voice into really haunting vocals. His voice is not powerful, well at least from the PVs and CDs, but it sticks in your head. The music is also amazing enough for the tune to just keep replaying. The visual feast that is his PV does not hurt either :) Guess its from his VKei roots...
Enough of Gackt! I've ripped an astonishing number of hyde's photos from the net. I can't help it! hyde is just so absolutely photogenic! In a way, he's a bit like a vampire... You know, the never aging part? He totally does not look like he's 40 next year! Haha. Well, he's exceedingly private, so the age is the result of speculating and math done by crazy fan girls like me. Lol. In a way, 40 is the minimum age. Any younger and... Well, lets just say he would not be able to would not be able to do certain things when he started out. Gackt too. Minimum is 35 next year. Another age-less vampire. I can understand why, after all, the entertainment industry is seriously hard on those without the glamour of youth. Which makes the Japanese entertainment industry kind on those who are old. Well, at least men. Like I said previously, men need maturity. I mean, there's Laruku, Gackt... a whole lot of singers in middle age... Even Mana! Goodness knows how old he is... A friend of mine commented that he looks a bit like the Thai transvestite prostitutes when he models as a female recently. I think its age influencing his face shape. I don't know. He still looks ok to me, but... I still admire him, but I think he should stop the cross-dressing modelling. He looks good as a guy. Should just stick with it. Mana fans, please don't kill me!
Ah! I found a blog that reviewed hyde's album, Faith. Here. I don't really agree with all the reviews, but its a rather accurate representation of my general review of the album. To me, Faith is something like 4 stars on the whole, with a few songs 3 stars. So the girl's reaction is a bit extreme. Still, its worth reading.
I want new stuff to listen...
"If I can see you again... If only in a dream... Please let me have eternal sleep..."
Tuesday, 23 December 2008
Shrine
Playlist
Drink It Down by L'arc-en~Ciel
My room looks like a Laruku shrine. I think if any of the Laruku guys stepped into my room, they are likely to run out screaming at the top of their voice. Haha. When I described my room to a friend and showed her photos of my new decor, she shook her head and looked at me pitifully. The look said 'Lost Cause'. Still, as a nice and considerate member of society, all she did was to ask me how I sleep with a minimum of 13 pairs of eyes staring at me. I think sleeping isn't the problem. I've been so exhausted recently that I fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow. Not sure why. Anyhow, I have no problems with sleep. I mean, I actually have wind chime! Rather, its changing. It is extremely disconcerting to change with the said 13 pairs of eyes staring at you. Firstly, and most obviously, they are ALL MALE. Secondly, and also kinda obviously, I look nothing like a model. Thirdly, its LARUKU for goodness's sake! And SID. So yeah. I took down two Laruku posters and the SID poster. So now its only 5 pairs of eyes. I could not bring myself to take down the enormous hyde poster. Sacrilegious!
My brother gave me an excellent idea. He proposed that I take my favourite Laruku picture and turn it into a bedsheet set. So I'll have a Laruku pillowcase, bolster case, bed spread, blanket... Then to match my room decor, he suggested that I paint or whitewash blown up Laruku posters on my wall, get some life-size standees of the band and set up an altar with new incense burnt everyday. I honestly have no intention to convert my room into an shrine. The main reason that all the stuff costs money, which I sorely lack at this juncture. Also, I am not yet so crazy about the band that i'd go to such an extent. After all, the whole bunch of them are old enough to be my father. Just because I admire their musical genius does not mean I have to worship them. Yeech! Although hyde does look increasingly yummy as he gets older... I have said this once, and I'll say it again, men need maturity to be attractive, women need youth. Its a super unfair world...
Going to sign up for Basic theory test for driving later. I'll most probably sign up for the YMCA ballet lesson too. And Japanese at Kovan. These will obviously be at a later date. There is, after all, a limit to the number of hours in a day. Oh. I need to study for SAT too. I'm totally behind my schedule for my SAT. Goodness. I need a minimum of about 2230... Ok. I'll do it later this evening. No more procrastinating.
"Confusion rules this shifting age...And uproar fills the town... My thoughts of you are drowning in the noise... How could you know?... Why should you know me?"
Drink It Down by L'arc-en~Ciel
My room looks like a Laruku shrine. I think if any of the Laruku guys stepped into my room, they are likely to run out screaming at the top of their voice. Haha. When I described my room to a friend and showed her photos of my new decor, she shook her head and looked at me pitifully. The look said 'Lost Cause'. Still, as a nice and considerate member of society, all she did was to ask me how I sleep with a minimum of 13 pairs of eyes staring at me. I think sleeping isn't the problem. I've been so exhausted recently that I fall asleep the moment my head hits the pillow. Not sure why. Anyhow, I have no problems with sleep. I mean, I actually have wind chime! Rather, its changing. It is extremely disconcerting to change with the said 13 pairs of eyes staring at you. Firstly, and most obviously, they are ALL MALE. Secondly, and also kinda obviously, I look nothing like a model. Thirdly, its LARUKU for goodness's sake! And SID. So yeah. I took down two Laruku posters and the SID poster. So now its only 5 pairs of eyes. I could not bring myself to take down the enormous hyde poster. Sacrilegious!
My brother gave me an excellent idea. He proposed that I take my favourite Laruku picture and turn it into a bedsheet set. So I'll have a Laruku pillowcase, bolster case, bed spread, blanket... Then to match my room decor, he suggested that I paint or whitewash blown up Laruku posters on my wall, get some life-size standees of the band and set up an altar with new incense burnt everyday. I honestly have no intention to convert my room into an shrine. The main reason that all the stuff costs money, which I sorely lack at this juncture. Also, I am not yet so crazy about the band that i'd go to such an extent. After all, the whole bunch of them are old enough to be my father. Just because I admire their musical genius does not mean I have to worship them. Yeech! Although hyde does look increasingly yummy as he gets older... I have said this once, and I'll say it again, men need maturity to be attractive, women need youth. Its a super unfair world...
Going to sign up for Basic theory test for driving later. I'll most probably sign up for the YMCA ballet lesson too. And Japanese at Kovan. These will obviously be at a later date. There is, after all, a limit to the number of hours in a day. Oh. I need to study for SAT too. I'm totally behind my schedule for my SAT. Goodness. I need a minimum of about 2230... Ok. I'll do it later this evening. No more procrastinating.
"Confusion rules this shifting age...And uproar fills the town... My thoughts of you are drowning in the noise... How could you know?... Why should you know me?"
Monday, 22 December 2008
Continue
Playlist
A Drop Of Colour by Hyde
I didn't have the time to type it all out yesterday. So many things happened. Mostly good, fortunately.
Started with cleaning the house, as per usual. Was reprimanded for sloppy work, as usual, and I left in a pretty bad mood. Missed the bus to Yishun, and I was pretty sullen by the time I reached. Which was the duration of my displeasure. How upset can I be, when I see the very people who have been with me, through thick and thin in dance for the past 2 years? Its just not possible. The moment we met each other, we were laughing and talking faster than any bird could chatter. I'm serious. We were exchanging connections to help others find work, swapping tips for SAT, joking about school, exchanging Christmas presents, discussing driving schools... Lots of things to catch up on. Its amazing how we can still connect despite the time spent apart.
From Yanyan, I've come to realise what a negative influence my clique was on the CCA. After we left, they implemented physical training, full day dance sessions... Stuff we never had. I guess its partially because a third of the members would have started to actively skip dance lessons, not like some of us were not already, and also because our president was lazy. Not sure which has a greater influence, but I think it was the cumulative effect that resulted in a rather minimal CCA involvement.
We had lunch... Went to Popular bookstore to get some stuff.... Walked around a bit... Yanyan bought a pair of shoes... Snapped some photos... We went to play billards... My first time, and since we were all lousy, we altered the rules to suit our very limited capability... And I left after we had attempted a few arcade games. The general atmosphere was relaxed. No real complaints from anyone, not surprising, seeing how we are all in the waiting phase. Its interesting to see the various things each of us is engaged in. Without the pervasive sense that time is running out, we all seem happer. Obviously.
I went to Kaen's house after that for SRF's birthday celebration. We played Don't Forget the Lyrics, the anime version, as well as with Wii. Believe me when I say there are people out there who can remember every single word of every anime song that was played. Bya. Crazy I tell you. Kaen too. I mean, I know she can remember all the songs that she likes... But still. Thats why I think she's kidding herself when she tells me she has poor memory and cannot remember her notes. Its no longer a matter of memory, but of willingness. Oh well.
The previous post? Kaen gave me a SID poster, a Laruku clothe banner, a hyde poster, 3 Laruku posters, and a Laruku keychain. Why will I not be so overcome with happiness that I shriek at the top of my voice and start crying? Totally acceptable behavior. Its just that I did not expect her to get me anything from Japan. She did tell me that she could not find any of the things on my shopping list, but she did not tell me she got other stuff! I think she was stunned by my rewaction. A bit extreme I admit. But you must realise, all feelings are more intense when you are suffering from post-rejection depression. The little things that make people happy seem like MAJOR incidents...
A Drop Of Colour by Hyde
I didn't have the time to type it all out yesterday. So many things happened. Mostly good, fortunately.
Started with cleaning the house, as per usual. Was reprimanded for sloppy work, as usual, and I left in a pretty bad mood. Missed the bus to Yishun, and I was pretty sullen by the time I reached. Which was the duration of my displeasure. How upset can I be, when I see the very people who have been with me, through thick and thin in dance for the past 2 years? Its just not possible. The moment we met each other, we were laughing and talking faster than any bird could chatter. I'm serious. We were exchanging connections to help others find work, swapping tips for SAT, joking about school, exchanging Christmas presents, discussing driving schools... Lots of things to catch up on. Its amazing how we can still connect despite the time spent apart.
From Yanyan, I've come to realise what a negative influence my clique was on the CCA. After we left, they implemented physical training, full day dance sessions... Stuff we never had. I guess its partially because a third of the members would have started to actively skip dance lessons, not like some of us were not already, and also because our president was lazy. Not sure which has a greater influence, but I think it was the cumulative effect that resulted in a rather minimal CCA involvement.
We had lunch... Went to Popular bookstore to get some stuff.... Walked around a bit... Yanyan bought a pair of shoes... Snapped some photos... We went to play billards... My first time, and since we were all lousy, we altered the rules to suit our very limited capability... And I left after we had attempted a few arcade games. The general atmosphere was relaxed. No real complaints from anyone, not surprising, seeing how we are all in the waiting phase. Its interesting to see the various things each of us is engaged in. Without the pervasive sense that time is running out, we all seem happer. Obviously.
I went to Kaen's house after that for SRF's birthday celebration. We played Don't Forget the Lyrics, the anime version, as well as with Wii. Believe me when I say there are people out there who can remember every single word of every anime song that was played. Bya. Crazy I tell you. Kaen too. I mean, I know she can remember all the songs that she likes... But still. Thats why I think she's kidding herself when she tells me she has poor memory and cannot remember her notes. Its no longer a matter of memory, but of willingness. Oh well.
The previous post? Kaen gave me a SID poster, a Laruku clothe banner, a hyde poster, 3 Laruku posters, and a Laruku keychain. Why will I not be so overcome with happiness that I shriek at the top of my voice and start crying? Totally acceptable behavior. Its just that I did not expect her to get me anything from Japan. She did tell me that she could not find any of the things on my shopping list, but she did not tell me she got other stuff! I think she was stunned by my rewaction. A bit extreme I admit. But you must realise, all feelings are more intense when you are suffering from post-rejection depression. The little things that make people happy seem like MAJOR incidents...
After that, I was in an excellent mood. Was quite tired when I reached her house, but all the lactic acid dissipated immediately after that. Haha. I'm not surprised. I had intended to stay over, but the thought of going to bed without a bath and brushing my teeth, coupled with the prospect of upset parents sent me home. I don't know why I bothered, because they were upset anyway. I suppose its because I did not clean up everything before high-tailing out of the house. Yeah. Whatever.
Anyhow, my room now looks like a Laruku shrine now...
"Light my Laruku fire..."
Sunday, 21 December 2008
Instant
Playlist
Random music... Playing Don't Forget The Lyrics...
THANK YOU KAEN!!!!
"I'll be back..."
Random music... Playing Don't Forget The Lyrics...
THANK YOU KAEN!!!!
"I'll be back..."
Tuesday, 16 December 2008
Body
Playlist
Mayura ~ Pisaroto~ by VIDOLL
I'm happy today. Yes, its really early in the morning for anything major to have occurred, and no, I did not wake up in this supreme mood. While I am more of a morning person, it does not equate to a mood that allows you to bounce around grinning like a frog. So why? My mother commented that my complexion is improving! Honestly, its difficult to get peple who see you everyday to comment on aspects of your physical apperance. Unless its really drastic, like from a lion's mane to rebonded hair. So for my mother to notice my complexion... It means the stuff I'm using works! Actually I don't feel that there has been such an improvement. Indeed, the blackheads are virtually all gone. The whiteheads heal pretty fast. Scaring from previous spots have lightened considerably. No, my complexion does not look as good as my display picture. That was taken on a day when all the stars aligned and sang a Christmas carol. So yeah. Unlikely to happen again relying solely on my natural bodily processes. Sigh.
Mayura ~ Pisaroto~ by VIDOLL
I'm happy today. Yes, its really early in the morning for anything major to have occurred, and no, I did not wake up in this supreme mood. While I am more of a morning person, it does not equate to a mood that allows you to bounce around grinning like a frog. So why? My mother commented that my complexion is improving! Honestly, its difficult to get peple who see you everyday to comment on aspects of your physical apperance. Unless its really drastic, like from a lion's mane to rebonded hair. So for my mother to notice my complexion... It means the stuff I'm using works! Actually I don't feel that there has been such an improvement. Indeed, the blackheads are virtually all gone. The whiteheads heal pretty fast. Scaring from previous spots have lightened considerably. No, my complexion does not look as good as my display picture. That was taken on a day when all the stars aligned and sang a Christmas carol. So yeah. Unlikely to happen again relying solely on my natural bodily processes. Sigh.
I've realised that my Dad is right. That biology plays a major role. Genetics, to be more specific. I'll never be able to undergo LASIK, even though I might be able to get perks due to Dad's connections. Why? I have dry eyes. Rather, I have a dry eye. My right. My left eye is normal, if a little teary to begin with. My right... The afternoon in the office is sufficient to cause it to hurt. There is no redness, but you know there's something not quite right. After all, it is your eye. I used to be pretty upset about being short-sighted. Every year, when I found out that my extent of myopia increased, I would cry myself to sleep. As I used to share a room with my brother, I would wait for him to sleep, before sobbing away. Pathetic right? When I first found out about LASIK, I was so happy. The very thought of living without spectacles put me in a good mood for months! Yes, I have to wait until I'm older, preferably after age 21, but the thought of never needing spectacles again...There's this part of me thats still really hopeful. Wishing that technology will improve sufficiently to make my dream come true...
I want to grow taller. I know its out of reach, but my ideal height is actually 1.7m. Don't ask me why. Currently, I stand at around 1.67m. Just 3 cm shy, but its like the difference between the ground and the sky. Mere numbers, like your weight and measurements, but they mean the world to someonewho has just lost her bearings. Long story for another post. My current weight is 53kg. Ideal is 50kg, although I think I'd gladly settle for 51kg. Rather than lose weight, I'd actually like slimmer thighs. I absolutely cannot wear skinny pants. In fact, I look fat in most pants. Its the bone structure. My thigh bone is the same size as a guy's. In fact, larger. I compared it with my Dad and my uncle... Discretely against othe guys I've seen. The same size, or bigger. Awful yeah? Its a pain looking for pants, and you look fat in photos... What am I to do? There's only so much skirts can hide.
Is this sudden self-conciousness the emergence of something more worrying? I wonder why I have begun to doubt and nitpick at things that used to be perfectly fine. Dissatisfaction? With what? What am I actually looking for? And do I really want to know the answer? Is my growing conncern with my physical appearance a symtom of something more...
" I can't psychoanalyse myself. Fortunately."
Sunday, 14 December 2008
EOY
Playlist
life by SID
They are back! Both Kaen and Vivi! Missed them so much! You only realise what a person means to you when you cannot contact them. I'm not saying that all the other people I know do not matter. Its just that its more obvious when there's silence. Like hurling a message in a bottle into the ocean. This does not apply to Duck. Regardless of whether she's around or not, she just keeps forgetting to reply my sms and calls. So yeah. I feel really lucky when I get a message. Pathetic eh?
EOY was another, similarly pathetic event. Air-conditioning was hardly working. Place was virtually empty. Loads of Cardcaptor. Ten? The theme was retro, but still... Most of the better cosplayers were absent. Heard that there was a major wig problem on SGCafe. Apparently, a reputable supplier ,essed things up. Made the person starting the thread and those who were in the batch furious. I would be too. All the effort all down the drain because the supplier could not deliver. Oh well. Hope such stuff does not repeat itself. Unlikely. Rather, I think I shall hope that such a thing does not occur to me.
EOY was so boring that I really have nothing much to say. So I shall not discuss it. Waste of time and effort. Hmm. But about Ayu... Sigh. I pity her. I know, its rude, but thats the most a semi-emotionless person like me can do. I want to help her, because I want it all to be an extension of my self. Selfish right? Stil... I wish I could feel the same way she feels. Not quite possible. If I was not so plain, I think I might go into the entertainment industry. I have no problems playing the various societal roles even in life, so acting is no problem. Puppet. No wonder I am so fascinated with modernism. Reflects the inner state of mind. After all, Oscar Wilde did say that the audience sees his inner self in art. Not what the artist may be trying to express, but the self. So as prideful and hedonistic human beings... We see ourself in whatever we think is beautiful. Deep. As Australia. Inside joke!
Enough.
I love VIDOLL!!!!
"It must be genetic!"
life by SID
They are back! Both Kaen and Vivi! Missed them so much! You only realise what a person means to you when you cannot contact them. I'm not saying that all the other people I know do not matter. Its just that its more obvious when there's silence. Like hurling a message in a bottle into the ocean. This does not apply to Duck. Regardless of whether she's around or not, she just keeps forgetting to reply my sms and calls. So yeah. I feel really lucky when I get a message. Pathetic eh?
EOY was another, similarly pathetic event. Air-conditioning was hardly working. Place was virtually empty. Loads of Cardcaptor. Ten? The theme was retro, but still... Most of the better cosplayers were absent. Heard that there was a major wig problem on SGCafe. Apparently, a reputable supplier ,essed things up. Made the person starting the thread and those who were in the batch furious. I would be too. All the effort all down the drain because the supplier could not deliver. Oh well. Hope such stuff does not repeat itself. Unlikely. Rather, I think I shall hope that such a thing does not occur to me.
EOY was so boring that I really have nothing much to say. So I shall not discuss it. Waste of time and effort. Hmm. But about Ayu... Sigh. I pity her. I know, its rude, but thats the most a semi-emotionless person like me can do. I want to help her, because I want it all to be an extension of my self. Selfish right? Stil... I wish I could feel the same way she feels. Not quite possible. If I was not so plain, I think I might go into the entertainment industry. I have no problems playing the various societal roles even in life, so acting is no problem. Puppet. No wonder I am so fascinated with modernism. Reflects the inner state of mind. After all, Oscar Wilde did say that the audience sees his inner self in art. Not what the artist may be trying to express, but the self. So as prideful and hedonistic human beings... We see ourself in whatever we think is beautiful. Deep. As Australia. Inside joke!
Enough.
I love VIDOLL!!!!
"It must be genetic!"
Friday, 12 December 2008
Pricey
Playlist
Sweet? by SID
Oh my goodness. A university education is so expensive! I mean, for Wisconsin-Madison, the school and tuition fees alone reach US$30,000! Minimum! That is about $45,000 a year, and in four years... Its $180,000! So expensive, and we have yet to include living expenses... Why am I being such a financial burden to my parents? If I was smart or resourceful enough, I could have qualified for some scholarship. Even a partial scholarship would do. I know I'm not considered poor enough to apply for financial aid and bursaries, so the only way is scholarships. Yet, I'm so average that the possibility of me attaining one is as high as my ability to get financial aid. Not good at all.
I feel so helpless sometimes. Ok. MAke that most of the time, especially recently. There's this pervading sense of being mediacore. I've never felt it quite so intensely as now. Awful, depressing, painful... Its all the time. Everywhere. You're not smart enough. Not rich enough. Or poor enough. Not pretty enough. Not slim enough. Not tall enough. Not talented enough. Essentially, you fall short of expectations. Parental expectations. Societal expectations. And the worst of it all, your own expectations. Failing to achieve external expectations is nowhere near as hurtful as the sense of utter despair that comes from failing yourself. This might be a foreign concept to some, but I think there are many out there who emphathise. Is it the education system? The society we live in? Values? I have no idea. Someone greater than me might be able to propose something.
I was not always like this. There was a time, not too long ago, this sounds like some Naational Day propogandistic song, where I lived my life according to my own pace. Not by the rules of others, nor by the larger society. Everything was my way, my pace. I know thissounds awfully selfish, but it was not the way it sounds. I did not hurt people on purpose. I just went about my own way. I mean, too bad if you got hurt, but it was not the intention. The purpose was to do it all my way. Think the Russian harlequin in Heart of Darkness by Conrad. I wanted nothing but space to exist. Now... I'm fighting the tide to get to where I ought to be. Not where I want to be. I'mokay with moving with the flow of destiny, because I know I'm nothing next to Fate. You cant win against something that you cannot even begin to comprehend. And I do not like t fight losing battles. No one does.
Argh. Why do I always get increasingly philosophical? Not like I truly am...
"Its all inconsequential..."
Sweet? by SID
Oh my goodness. A university education is so expensive! I mean, for Wisconsin-Madison, the school and tuition fees alone reach US$30,000! Minimum! That is about $45,000 a year, and in four years... Its $180,000! So expensive, and we have yet to include living expenses... Why am I being such a financial burden to my parents? If I was smart or resourceful enough, I could have qualified for some scholarship. Even a partial scholarship would do. I know I'm not considered poor enough to apply for financial aid and bursaries, so the only way is scholarships. Yet, I'm so average that the possibility of me attaining one is as high as my ability to get financial aid. Not good at all.
I feel so helpless sometimes. Ok. MAke that most of the time, especially recently. There's this pervading sense of being mediacore. I've never felt it quite so intensely as now. Awful, depressing, painful... Its all the time. Everywhere. You're not smart enough. Not rich enough. Or poor enough. Not pretty enough. Not slim enough. Not tall enough. Not talented enough. Essentially, you fall short of expectations. Parental expectations. Societal expectations. And the worst of it all, your own expectations. Failing to achieve external expectations is nowhere near as hurtful as the sense of utter despair that comes from failing yourself. This might be a foreign concept to some, but I think there are many out there who emphathise. Is it the education system? The society we live in? Values? I have no idea. Someone greater than me might be able to propose something.
I was not always like this. There was a time, not too long ago, this sounds like some Naational Day propogandistic song, where I lived my life according to my own pace. Not by the rules of others, nor by the larger society. Everything was my way, my pace. I know thissounds awfully selfish, but it was not the way it sounds. I did not hurt people on purpose. I just went about my own way. I mean, too bad if you got hurt, but it was not the intention. The purpose was to do it all my way. Think the Russian harlequin in Heart of Darkness by Conrad. I wanted nothing but space to exist. Now... I'm fighting the tide to get to where I ought to be. Not where I want to be. I'mokay with moving with the flow of destiny, because I know I'm nothing next to Fate. You cant win against something that you cannot even begin to comprehend. And I do not like t fight losing battles. No one does.
Argh. Why do I always get increasingly philosophical? Not like I truly am...
"Its all inconsequential..."
Tuesday, 9 December 2008
Purgatory
Playlist
Silence... Blogging in the office... Shush...
Its a lie! A freaking lie, I tell you. The person who said that being involved in an activity dispels boredom is LYING. Currently, I'm working full time in NUS, helping out at a gift shop in Raffles City, as well as studying for my SATs... Yet, I'm so bored, I'm likely to do whatever stupidly ridiculous thing anyone dares me to do. I'm serious. I can imagine my brain cells dying one by one, moaning in agony as they perish from my brain. There's hardly any simulation. Yes, I'm lucky to be employed. Yes, I'm lucky to have adecent hope ofgoing to university. Yes, I'm lucky to have use of all my limbs, can breathe without assistance, able to speak and yes, normal. Still, what is the point if you're bored?
Most would feel that I'm exhibiting the stereotypical Singaporean quality of complaining when I've got it all made. I disagree. Its not complaining. Its lamenting the sad state of human existence where we are expected to be contented with scraps from the table. Indeed, I am materially better off than many people in the world. Yet, how can we use such as absolute measure? How many of us live empty lives? Going about our tasks and daily activities without a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, purpose and understanding? Shells! Nothing real, and we spend such a large part of our lives doing all these tasks. Pathetic. I feel sorry for myself. And I don't want to feel sorry for myself. Such a disgusting emotional state.
I sort of gave up on uploading the AFA photos. I can't help it! Its blurry to the point that its really difficult to clear it. Furthermore, I've yet to have the time to really upload the photos. Busy working and studying. I assure you, its tough to study and work. Quite tiring. when you're home, all you want to do is relax. There is virtually no energy to sit down and study. This, together with me still in the post exam relaxing mood, no way that I can get admitted into a US university at this point in time and many other things that I want to do... Sigh. Virtually a lost cause. Oh well. I'll just do my best for the paper. Shall not waste time and money.
Silence... Blogging in the office... Shush...
Its a lie! A freaking lie, I tell you. The person who said that being involved in an activity dispels boredom is LYING. Currently, I'm working full time in NUS, helping out at a gift shop in Raffles City, as well as studying for my SATs... Yet, I'm so bored, I'm likely to do whatever stupidly ridiculous thing anyone dares me to do. I'm serious. I can imagine my brain cells dying one by one, moaning in agony as they perish from my brain. There's hardly any simulation. Yes, I'm lucky to be employed. Yes, I'm lucky to have adecent hope ofgoing to university. Yes, I'm lucky to have use of all my limbs, can breathe without assistance, able to speak and yes, normal. Still, what is the point if you're bored?
Most would feel that I'm exhibiting the stereotypical Singaporean quality of complaining when I've got it all made. I disagree. Its not complaining. Its lamenting the sad state of human existence where we are expected to be contented with scraps from the table. Indeed, I am materially better off than many people in the world. Yet, how can we use such as absolute measure? How many of us live empty lives? Going about our tasks and daily activities without a sense of accomplishment, satisfaction, purpose and understanding? Shells! Nothing real, and we spend such a large part of our lives doing all these tasks. Pathetic. I feel sorry for myself. And I don't want to feel sorry for myself. Such a disgusting emotional state.
I sort of gave up on uploading the AFA photos. I can't help it! Its blurry to the point that its really difficult to clear it. Furthermore, I've yet to have the time to really upload the photos. Busy working and studying. I assure you, its tough to study and work. Quite tiring. when you're home, all you want to do is relax. There is virtually no energy to sit down and study. This, together with me still in the post exam relaxing mood, no way that I can get admitted into a US university at this point in time and many other things that I want to do... Sigh. Virtually a lost cause. Oh well. I'll just do my best for the paper. Shall not waste time and money.
Right now, I'm considering Wisconsin-Madison and Michigan. Effectively just looking around. NUS is sort of my fall back plan. I know, its ranked higher, but still. I feel like I have no personality, and the very banal existence I have in Singapore only serves to contribute to a growing sense of restlessness.
"What are we all waiting for?"
Monday, 24 November 2008
AFA
Playlist
Gekidou by UVERworld
To all the November babies that I know... Happpy Birthday! Its late, but I don't care!
Hejin, Winter, Kaen, Haiyun, Hyde's daughter, Yingzhen... and ME! :)
I passed the last two days in a haze. 22nd was in Malaysia with my family. Maternal grandmother's birthday. Yesterday was spent cleaning the house, as usual on Sundays, as well as at AFA. Anime Festival Asia. It was so unbearbly painmful. I'm serious. Just because I look happy does not mean I'm happy.
First and foremost, I spent three-quarters of the time waiting for my beloved Kaen to show. If it was anyone else on any other day, I'd die rather than wait. Well, it wasn't exactly under her control in the first place, so I don't blame her. The problem was with AFA itself. One word. Boring. The exhibits were plain boring. Nice art and all, but there were so few. Hardly entertaining. As for the cosplay competition... The standard was not particularly high. No idea who won. Was not paying attention. I'm not even interested to begin with! For the bright stars, they were far and few between. The better merchandise shops were packed. The advertising boards were lighted in such a way that its near impossible to snap a decent picture. My camera was malfunctioning. The entrance ticket was a waste of money.
Vivi, Choonie and Hualin were around. Saw lots of people that I know, such as Liyana, Geraldine, Hilda and other random schoolmates. Most did not recognise me, and if they did, were astounded by my shiroi Lolita get-up. Not surprising, seeing how I'm a person of really varied interets. Haha. Vivi looked really cute. Will upload her picture soon. SD and Yukiya were Kurei and Tokiya respectively. Melo was the cutest Kanda I have ever seen. Karei was ADORABLE! Winter put on some make up... And she looked really pretty! No need to cosplay. She's amazing enough as it is. Kai was in his signature suit, and it was all status quo.
I need work! No job offers so far... And anyone knows how to sign up for driving lessons? The website is absolutely user unfriendly. I'm serious. A total PAIN. I need to be able to drive if I go US... There is hardly public transport in case anyone wonders, and I'm not going to hitchhike around. No way...
"Dakedo kimi wa darekani koishiteru no ka?"
Gekidou by UVERworld
To all the November babies that I know... Happpy Birthday! Its late, but I don't care!
Hejin, Winter, Kaen, Haiyun, Hyde's daughter, Yingzhen... and ME! :)
I passed the last two days in a haze. 22nd was in Malaysia with my family. Maternal grandmother's birthday. Yesterday was spent cleaning the house, as usual on Sundays, as well as at AFA. Anime Festival Asia. It was so unbearbly painmful. I'm serious. Just because I look happy does not mean I'm happy.
First and foremost, I spent three-quarters of the time waiting for my beloved Kaen to show. If it was anyone else on any other day, I'd die rather than wait. Well, it wasn't exactly under her control in the first place, so I don't blame her. The problem was with AFA itself. One word. Boring. The exhibits were plain boring. Nice art and all, but there were so few. Hardly entertaining. As for the cosplay competition... The standard was not particularly high. No idea who won. Was not paying attention. I'm not even interested to begin with! For the bright stars, they were far and few between. The better merchandise shops were packed. The advertising boards were lighted in such a way that its near impossible to snap a decent picture. My camera was malfunctioning. The entrance ticket was a waste of money.
Vivi, Choonie and Hualin were around. Saw lots of people that I know, such as Liyana, Geraldine, Hilda and other random schoolmates. Most did not recognise me, and if they did, were astounded by my shiroi Lolita get-up. Not surprising, seeing how I'm a person of really varied interets. Haha. Vivi looked really cute. Will upload her picture soon. SD and Yukiya were Kurei and Tokiya respectively. Melo was the cutest Kanda I have ever seen. Karei was ADORABLE! Winter put on some make up... And she looked really pretty! No need to cosplay. She's amazing enough as it is. Kai was in his signature suit, and it was all status quo.
I need work! No job offers so far... And anyone knows how to sign up for driving lessons? The website is absolutely user unfriendly. I'm serious. A total PAIN. I need to be able to drive if I go US... There is hardly public transport in case anyone wonders, and I'm not going to hitchhike around. No way...
"Dakedo kimi wa darekani koishiteru no ka?"
Saturday, 22 November 2008
Shaky
Playlist
Enrai ~ Tooku ni Aru Agari by High And Mighty Colour
I'm a fool. The greatest fool of all time. Why? I did not realise my flaws. I did not realise the things, the institutuions that I believed in were shaky. I did not realise that my belief was in something that was completely undependable. I am a fool. Finding out that you're an idiot hurts. The circumstances that trigger the realisation hurts. Coupled with the pain of knowing you're an idiot, it certainly is a heady combination. It sears through your entire self. Burns away your connections with that which provide security. Rips you to pieces, starting with everything that you believed in. Your world is shattered. Have fun picking up the pieces.
I think that family is the most important to me as of today. You can't rely on others. Not even your friends. Blood is certainly a powerful coagulent. Just like what I learnt in Biololgy in school.
No one remembered. As in, on their own, they did not remember. The first to voice it out is my mum. Then my aunt. Followed by my dad. I'm talking about those who said it out loud. I know my paternal grandma knows too. She remembers everything. Everything. Lets not talk about Kaen, who can't forget. Duh. Quite hard for me to forget her as well. The links are already there. Not a matter of choice. We're 'sister-in-laws'. I'm talking about everyone else. My brother. My cousins. Various aunts and uncles. Even those I feel are my friends. All unreliable. ALL. Why do I bother?
What do I expect from others? Should I not expect anything? I am human. I want to be loved. Am I too dememanding? Is this too much to ask? Am I just depressed by my inability to get a job? I've applied at some ten over locations, some in person, all to no avail. I totally know how those who are retrenched feel. Heaviness. The despair. The sesnse of isolation. Alienated from those who work. Helplessness when waiting for the call. That does not seem to come at all. Tired from the multiple interviews. From travelling the whole country. Your shortcomings all rubbed into your face. Self-disgust. Weariness. You wonder, is it all worth it? The absolute worst is seeing those who don't need the work getting it. And to make it even more unbearable, they wonder why you can't succeed and give useless advice. Make stupid comments. Say things like, " Maybe you should try harder?". Or better yet, "Don't worry, it will be ok." Go drown yourself in some ocean. Please. How about saying something that will address the root cause?
Somebody put an end to my suffering...
"To wait and to wait and to wait... In vain... For the moment that would never come..."
Enrai ~ Tooku ni Aru Agari by High And Mighty Colour
I'm a fool. The greatest fool of all time. Why? I did not realise my flaws. I did not realise the things, the institutuions that I believed in were shaky. I did not realise that my belief was in something that was completely undependable. I am a fool. Finding out that you're an idiot hurts. The circumstances that trigger the realisation hurts. Coupled with the pain of knowing you're an idiot, it certainly is a heady combination. It sears through your entire self. Burns away your connections with that which provide security. Rips you to pieces, starting with everything that you believed in. Your world is shattered. Have fun picking up the pieces.
I think that family is the most important to me as of today. You can't rely on others. Not even your friends. Blood is certainly a powerful coagulent. Just like what I learnt in Biololgy in school.
No one remembered. As in, on their own, they did not remember. The first to voice it out is my mum. Then my aunt. Followed by my dad. I'm talking about those who said it out loud. I know my paternal grandma knows too. She remembers everything. Everything. Lets not talk about Kaen, who can't forget. Duh. Quite hard for me to forget her as well. The links are already there. Not a matter of choice. We're 'sister-in-laws'. I'm talking about everyone else. My brother. My cousins. Various aunts and uncles. Even those I feel are my friends. All unreliable. ALL. Why do I bother?
What do I expect from others? Should I not expect anything? I am human. I want to be loved. Am I too dememanding? Is this too much to ask? Am I just depressed by my inability to get a job? I've applied at some ten over locations, some in person, all to no avail. I totally know how those who are retrenched feel. Heaviness. The despair. The sesnse of isolation. Alienated from those who work. Helplessness when waiting for the call. That does not seem to come at all. Tired from the multiple interviews. From travelling the whole country. Your shortcomings all rubbed into your face. Self-disgust. Weariness. You wonder, is it all worth it? The absolute worst is seeing those who don't need the work getting it. And to make it even more unbearable, they wonder why you can't succeed and give useless advice. Make stupid comments. Say things like, " Maybe you should try harder?". Or better yet, "Don't worry, it will be ok." Go drown yourself in some ocean. Please. How about saying something that will address the root cause?
Somebody put an end to my suffering...
"To wait and to wait and to wait... In vain... For the moment that would never come..."
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Release
Playlist
Sakahiro Takarai's Be All Right
Its official! As of 11am this morning, I never have to put on a school uniform again! Last paper. Literature in English. Paper 3.
It was not as difficult as I thought it would be. The Unseen was a poem and a play extract. Both were comprehensive. I chose the poem in the end as I know how to analyse a poem more than a play. All thanks to the beloved Mr Whitby. As for compare and contrast, I compared Owen and Murder. Issue was the presentation of uncertainty and doubt. Did the essay on recount by older Marlow. Most felt it was a weird question. So I don't know. I might fail. I felt it was pretty alright. Which is either a good thing or a bad thing. More likely to be the latter. Means that I am absolutely dead. Oh well. Leave and let live.
Went to town. There was this sense of emptiness. Not because of the company, Viv was like the highlight, but rather, I think it stems from the realisation that there is nothing left. Just waiting. On the surface, you rejoice, but deep down inside, you start wondering what you are going to do. I'm looking for work, but hardly anyone seems to be hiring. Is it the economy? I sincerely doubt so. I guess its just that people don't want to hire kids. And that due to the JC curriculum starting in February next year, the market is saturated with people looking for work. Sheesh.
I want to do dance. Will most probably join the IP kids. I want to shoot. Will most probably join Kaen in her archery. I want to learn Spanish. Will most probably attempt it with Viv. My parents want me to learn to drive. I have no idea if I am mentally prepared enough to do it! Haha. So many things, so little time. I still need to go to the tailor for my Dorothea costume. I still need to buy Code Geass Monica's costume. I need to wrap up the various details of JJR. I need to start thinking of the design and colour scheme of Aoi's costume. I need to assemble Lulubell's clothes! Whoever said that cosplay was for little children, whoever said that its a frivolous and meaningless and easy activity has never done it. Its hard work. Well, unless you have all the money in the world to splurge and spend. Unless you have a palace of servants to clean up and source stuff for you. Like I said, unless you path is paved with money... Even if it was paved with money, its not easy. And the costume is only HALF the battle...
I shall not scare the poor kids out there who might be interested in cosplaying. Yet, it is true. behing the glamour, the momentarily 'cool' factor, is hard work. Lack of sleep. Headaches. Craft sessions. Sewing sessions. Travelling around the island. Being made fun of by others. Social stigmas. Stereotypes. Empty piggybank...
I love it. Always have. Always will.
"You need devotion. You neeed passion. Without these, you are nothing."
Sakahiro Takarai's Be All Right
Its official! As of 11am this morning, I never have to put on a school uniform again! Last paper. Literature in English. Paper 3.
It was not as difficult as I thought it would be. The Unseen was a poem and a play extract. Both were comprehensive. I chose the poem in the end as I know how to analyse a poem more than a play. All thanks to the beloved Mr Whitby. As for compare and contrast, I compared Owen and Murder. Issue was the presentation of uncertainty and doubt. Did the essay on recount by older Marlow. Most felt it was a weird question. So I don't know. I might fail. I felt it was pretty alright. Which is either a good thing or a bad thing. More likely to be the latter. Means that I am absolutely dead. Oh well. Leave and let live.
Went to town. There was this sense of emptiness. Not because of the company, Viv was like the highlight, but rather, I think it stems from the realisation that there is nothing left. Just waiting. On the surface, you rejoice, but deep down inside, you start wondering what you are going to do. I'm looking for work, but hardly anyone seems to be hiring. Is it the economy? I sincerely doubt so. I guess its just that people don't want to hire kids. And that due to the JC curriculum starting in February next year, the market is saturated with people looking for work. Sheesh.
I want to do dance. Will most probably join the IP kids. I want to shoot. Will most probably join Kaen in her archery. I want to learn Spanish. Will most probably attempt it with Viv. My parents want me to learn to drive. I have no idea if I am mentally prepared enough to do it! Haha. So many things, so little time. I still need to go to the tailor for my Dorothea costume. I still need to buy Code Geass Monica's costume. I need to wrap up the various details of JJR. I need to start thinking of the design and colour scheme of Aoi's costume. I need to assemble Lulubell's clothes! Whoever said that cosplay was for little children, whoever said that its a frivolous and meaningless and easy activity has never done it. Its hard work. Well, unless you have all the money in the world to splurge and spend. Unless you have a palace of servants to clean up and source stuff for you. Like I said, unless you path is paved with money... Even if it was paved with money, its not easy. And the costume is only HALF the battle...
I shall not scare the poor kids out there who might be interested in cosplaying. Yet, it is true. behing the glamour, the momentarily 'cool' factor, is hard work. Lack of sleep. Headaches. Craft sessions. Sewing sessions. Travelling around the island. Being made fun of by others. Social stigmas. Stereotypes. Empty piggybank...
I love it. Always have. Always will.
"You need devotion. You neeed passion. Without these, you are nothing."
Monday, 17 November 2008
Dedication
Playlist
Kakusei ~Dark and Light~ by Suwabe Junichi and Daisuke Ono
This is for my dear Kaen, who never fails to make me want to throttle her.
I'm writing it! I am! I'm on page 1! So wait! I'll give it to you on your birthday! Sheesh!
Barbie dolls ARE GAY.
I'm glad they didn't call. And WHY DO YOU WANT THEM TO CALL? Sheesh!
You owe me Suki Sa! How can you forget JUNJUN?!?!
1. Where would you go if someone sponsors you an air ticket?
Likely to be Japan. But I'll wonder who would be so nice... I mean, other than my family...
2. What's your favourite thing to do?
Eat. Sleep. And be merry. Cosplay. Listen to music.
3. Do you think money can buy happiness?
Yes.
4. If you were given a chance to receive something, what would it be?
Anything? Kurei. Duh!
5. Things that you cant live without:
Bed. Food. Water. Music. Books. Oxygen and carbon dioxide. Family. Friends. Seiyuus.
6. What are you afraid to lose?
Myself. Duh.
7. If you won US$1million, what would you do?
Won where??? Invest. Give to my parents. Pay for university. Buy a house in Emerald Hill. Don't think its enough though...
8. What do you dream of doing in the future?
Writing. Enjoying life. Sleeping. Dreaming some more...
9. List down 3 good things about the person who gave you this survey:
Err. Fun? Interesting? Errr...
10. What makes you happy?
Good food. Sufficient sleep. Money. Writing. Listening to music. Cosplay. Kurei. Yeah.
11. What kind of person do you hate the most?
Idiots. Stupid people. irritating people. Those who dont try. Backstabbers.
12. If you have a super power what would that be?
The ability to kill people with a glare. Or turn them into stone. That would be useful.
13. Would you go for happiness or money?
I want both!
14. Who do you think is the most important people in your life?
There is grammatical error in the bloody question. What 'is' and 'people'? Ok. Will just type. In no particular order... Kurei. My dad. Kaen. Duck. Hualin. Vivi. Hf. Err. My grandparents...
15. If you had a girlfriend/boyfriend, would you die for him/her?
No. Not even for Kurei. I'm serious.
16. Who's the last person who hugged you?
Err. My dad. I think. I usually initiate the hug... I'm proactive.
17. What is the one thing you want to do badly right now?
Get rid of my brother...
18. Who are you close to?
Huh? As in, relationship? Or distance? Distance is my brother...
19. Are you courageous enough to tell the person that you like him?
Yes.
20. If you could do one thing all over again what would it be?
Join gymnastics. Start dancing earlier. Cant choose.
21. 8 things that scare you
Not dying. Crazy people. My parents throwing away my manga horde. Losing my friends. No more food. My bed collapses with me on it. Putting on weight. Pests.
22. 8 things that you like/love the most
Dance. Music. Kurei. My bed. Food. Water. TV. Paper.
23. 8 important things in my room:
Bed. Cupboard. Fan. Handphone charger. Manga. Diary. Pillows. Windchime.
24. 8 ppl to do this questionnaire
Please dont do this!
Hmm. My answers are all so repetitive. Maybe I'm boring. Whatever.
Kakusei ~Dark and Light~ by Suwabe Junichi and Daisuke Ono
This is for my dear Kaen, who never fails to make me want to throttle her.
I'm writing it! I am! I'm on page 1! So wait! I'll give it to you on your birthday! Sheesh!
Barbie dolls ARE GAY.
I'm glad they didn't call. And WHY DO YOU WANT THEM TO CALL? Sheesh!
You owe me Suki Sa! How can you forget JUNJUN?!?!
1. Where would you go if someone sponsors you an air ticket?
Likely to be Japan. But I'll wonder who would be so nice... I mean, other than my family...
2. What's your favourite thing to do?
Eat. Sleep. And be merry. Cosplay. Listen to music.
3. Do you think money can buy happiness?
Yes.
4. If you were given a chance to receive something, what would it be?
Anything? Kurei. Duh!
5. Things that you cant live without:
Bed. Food. Water. Music. Books. Oxygen and carbon dioxide. Family. Friends. Seiyuus.
6. What are you afraid to lose?
Myself. Duh.
7. If you won US$1million, what would you do?
Won where??? Invest. Give to my parents. Pay for university. Buy a house in Emerald Hill. Don't think its enough though...
8. What do you dream of doing in the future?
Writing. Enjoying life. Sleeping. Dreaming some more...
9. List down 3 good things about the person who gave you this survey:
Err. Fun? Interesting? Errr...
10. What makes you happy?
Good food. Sufficient sleep. Money. Writing. Listening to music. Cosplay. Kurei. Yeah.
11. What kind of person do you hate the most?
Idiots. Stupid people. irritating people. Those who dont try. Backstabbers.
12. If you have a super power what would that be?
The ability to kill people with a glare. Or turn them into stone. That would be useful.
13. Would you go for happiness or money?
I want both!
14. Who do you think is the most important people in your life?
There is grammatical error in the bloody question. What 'is' and 'people'? Ok. Will just type. In no particular order... Kurei. My dad. Kaen. Duck. Hualin. Vivi. Hf. Err. My grandparents...
15. If you had a girlfriend/boyfriend, would you die for him/her?
No. Not even for Kurei. I'm serious.
16. Who's the last person who hugged you?
Err. My dad. I think. I usually initiate the hug... I'm proactive.
17. What is the one thing you want to do badly right now?
Get rid of my brother...
18. Who are you close to?
Huh? As in, relationship? Or distance? Distance is my brother...
19. Are you courageous enough to tell the person that you like him?
Yes.
20. If you could do one thing all over again what would it be?
Join gymnastics. Start dancing earlier. Cant choose.
21. 8 things that scare you
Not dying. Crazy people. My parents throwing away my manga horde. Losing my friends. No more food. My bed collapses with me on it. Putting on weight. Pests.
22. 8 things that you like/love the most
Dance. Music. Kurei. My bed. Food. Water. TV. Paper.
23. 8 important things in my room:
Bed. Cupboard. Fan. Handphone charger. Manga. Diary. Pillows. Windchime.
24. 8 ppl to do this questionnaire
Please dont do this!
Hmm. My answers are all so repetitive. Maybe I'm boring. Whatever.
Wishlist
Playlist
Be All Right by Suzumura Kenichi
Yup. I decided tro change the songs to those that I'm listening to at the moment. No point in putting down what I want. Most people have a) Never heard of it. b) Not interested in sharing. c) I feel like recommending stuff instead!
Its a strange feeling. This sense that its all over. No. I'm not talking about my life... I'm talking about my 12 years of formal education! I'm not sure if others feel the same way that I do, but honestly, it is very disconcerting. I mean, there is no real place that you HAVE to be anymore. There is no association that you have membership in. There is no place where you belong. The feeling, is, unpleasant. Oh well. All things come to an end. We just have to reattach ourselves to another entity...
On a much more hedonistic note, I am going to put up a wishlist. Make that two. What I want, and what I dont mind getting... All in no particular order...
WHAT I WANT:
1) Versailles new album, Noble
2) Any number of the magazine, VAMPS
3) SID's album, Jacket C ( it has a picture of a stag beetle on it)
4) Malice Mizer's album, Mervailles
5) Cute/ Gothic stuff eg. mirror
6) Gothic parasol
7) Discounts at good tailors...
8) Cosplay related stuff that I need, like a >80cm blonde wig, white beret...
9) Someone to teach me how to make Recca no Honoo Aoi's weapon!
10) Doujinshi... pencil boards... anime/manga paraphernalia...
11) Gadgets like a new hadphone, iPod...
Now for more practical things...
1) New pencil case... I need big pencil cases!
2) Wallet. Or a purse. Or something...
3) Handphone pouch. Preferably cute. With 'fur'.
4) Files. The thin pretty ones to put my short stories and fics in...
5) FRIENDS!
Yup!
See you all around!
" We age, we die. Life is but a box of worm-seed."
Be All Right by Suzumura Kenichi
Yup. I decided tro change the songs to those that I'm listening to at the moment. No point in putting down what I want. Most people have a) Never heard of it. b) Not interested in sharing. c) I feel like recommending stuff instead!
Its a strange feeling. This sense that its all over. No. I'm not talking about my life... I'm talking about my 12 years of formal education! I'm not sure if others feel the same way that I do, but honestly, it is very disconcerting. I mean, there is no real place that you HAVE to be anymore. There is no association that you have membership in. There is no place where you belong. The feeling, is, unpleasant. Oh well. All things come to an end. We just have to reattach ourselves to another entity...
On a much more hedonistic note, I am going to put up a wishlist. Make that two. What I want, and what I dont mind getting... All in no particular order...
WHAT I WANT:
1) Versailles new album, Noble
2) Any number of the magazine, VAMPS
3) SID's album, Jacket C ( it has a picture of a stag beetle on it)
4) Malice Mizer's album, Mervailles
5) Cute/ Gothic stuff eg. mirror
6) Gothic parasol
7) Discounts at good tailors...
8) Cosplay related stuff that I need, like a >80cm blonde wig, white beret...
9) Someone to teach me how to make Recca no Honoo Aoi's weapon!
10) Doujinshi... pencil boards... anime/manga paraphernalia...
11) Gadgets like a new hadphone, iPod...
Now for more practical things...
1) New pencil case... I need big pencil cases!
2) Wallet. Or a purse. Or something...
3) Handphone pouch. Preferably cute. With 'fur'.
4) Files. The thin pretty ones to put my short stories and fics in...
5) FRIENDS!
Yup!
See you all around!
" We age, we die. Life is but a box of worm-seed."
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
Answers
Music Request
The theme sog of Spirited Away. No idea whats the title. Its the party piece...
This is me breaking the rules. I can't help it! I know I said I won't go online!
Regarding the VKei quiz...
VIVIEN!!! YOU SO DEFINITELY CHEATED! UNFAIR! YOUR COMMENTS DON'T COUNT!
Ok. Most people got it wrong. Like obviously. Its not humanly possible to get it all right. Like I said, Vivien, you so TOTALLY cheated.
Anyhow... Photos 1 to 4 are all guys. Versailles. Phantasmogoria. Sectamateria. Blood+.
Photo 5 is all girls. Danger Gang.
The last photo... only the person, right smack in the middle of the front row, red kimono is female. Rest all guys. Yeah. One of the guys look like a Dance junior of mine. No. It should be the other way round. She's younger than him. Its the one on the right, showing side profile. Blue kimono.
" Everyting will come to an end... Regardless of whether you like it or not."
The theme sog of Spirited Away. No idea whats the title. Its the party piece...
This is me breaking the rules. I can't help it! I know I said I won't go online!
Regarding the VKei quiz...
VIVIEN!!! YOU SO DEFINITELY CHEATED! UNFAIR! YOUR COMMENTS DON'T COUNT!
Ok. Most people got it wrong. Like obviously. Its not humanly possible to get it all right. Like I said, Vivien, you so TOTALLY cheated.
Anyhow... Photos 1 to 4 are all guys. Versailles. Phantasmogoria. Sectamateria. Blood+.
Photo 5 is all girls. Danger Gang.
The last photo... only the person, right smack in the middle of the front row, red kimono is female. Rest all guys. Yeah. One of the guys look like a Dance junior of mine. No. It should be the other way round. She's younger than him. Its the one on the right, showing side profile. Blue kimono.
" Everyting will come to an end... Regardless of whether you like it or not."
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