Pretend

This is more like an update for my glaring absence and the previously contracted posts. I've been pretty involved in school, on the forum , and at home (duh) recently, so there hasn't been much time to really blog. I do have lots of things to say, but I want to be able to type it all out properly, construct sentences... You get what I mean? I don't really see the point in dumping words onto a website without construction. No thought process = don't blog. We can't all be totally reactionary all the time. Blogging requires reflection, well, for me at least. If I was to just to just chuck whatever occurred to me onto my blog, there's a high possibility of getting into serious trouble. Thoes who know me well will understand. I happen to be tempermental, cynical, blunt, sarcastic and sharp - these being some of the main features which people who get into trouble possess. Fortunately, I happen to have common sense, and its something I treasure.

Enough of all the pretentious self-explaining. Going off tangent. Here, I want to politely DEMAND for Dir En Grey's Raison d'Etre. As well as ALL of Oshitari's songs. Please do remember to include the 3 songs you found the other day. You could include any other yummy songs, and the drama cd of Vampire Knight. Hmm. Well, that is about it.

My mood has now soured. Was pretty happy just now, but yup. Mood swing I guess. As normal as anything when you're acting everyday. There's bound to be a certain period of time where you lose it. Haha. So not funny. I detest being interrupted when I blog, especially by reasons which are excuses in disguise. I need to be able to express myself periodically. It used to be ok as I had GP ( now is soo not possible). Argh! Can't stand pests!



"People are resources. They are limited. Finite. And very very disposable."

Splurge

I have done something... impulsively. A black gothic lolita dress sits in my cupboard. I bought it from Alice88. Cheated by her, I forked out an excess of about 20 dollars. I have no idea why I did what I did. Honest. Maybe it was the shop, the atmosphere, mood, whatever. The fact remains that I practically threw money away. This, coupled with the fact that I fell ill ( unnecessary late nights ) is making my plan to save and diet seem like I NEED to do so, instead of WANTING to do so. Terrible. I'll need shoes and accessories to go with the dress, so I desperately need to sell the white lolita dress that I bought with Sophia. It would give me a bit more money to manuevre about. Anyhow, whats done is done, so all I can do is try to maximise it all. Oh yeah. Just realised, I have nothing to wear on the first day, unless I wear the same costume... Which is kind of tacky...

Okay. So I bought a pair of boots from Atsuki. Yeah. More wastage. Its to go with the dress. So now... I need to get gloves, haedpiece... among others. Yup. More wastage. I don't know what I'm doing. Lets see, wasting money, trying unsuccessfully to lose weight. Haha. Right. My life is in chaos. Again. As usual due to whimsical reasons. Im totally screwed. Should start praying. Sighx.




" Time is inconsequential when your life doesn't matter."

Oaf

Was struck on the head by the umbrella of a clumsy oaf on the bus. It just occurred on bus service 151, right outside the side gate of the boy's school. It was utterly embarrasing. Not because I was smacked on the head by a kid, but because I swore some real colourful language. The bus was full of people, and I was in my school uniform. Until now, I am still dreading the moment where the MOP aka member of public complains. Urgh. The horror. Loads of people have told me that I look like an absolutely adorable dolly... right up to the moment I open my mouth. yeah, I get it, I'm a cynical, sadistic, violent old woman stuck in an 18 year old body. Right.



Anyway, back to what happened, the kid, cause he's definitely younger than me, struck me on the head with his black umbrella, I have absolutely why he was holding an umbrella in his hand given the striking absence of rain. Maybe he wanted to morph into Umbrella Man or something. Still. Urgh.



Interestingly, I have not much to say today. The boarding house is awfully quiet. I'm in a state of, I know it sounds absolutely hilarious, but I'm in a state of Zen. Right. Just waiting for disaster to befall...



Shall squirm under a rock...




" Shepherd's pie isn't made of shepherds.Unfortunately."

Friday

Its both Mrs Ong and Jacqueline Jie's birthday today. Happy Birthday! Yup.

Now that birthday wishes are settled, lets get on to the good stuff, ie. me ranting, raving and complaining about my own existence. What?!You're not interested? Haha. Ok. Its a Friday, so I'm in Lalaland already. Somehow, my brain functions in the most peculiar fashion on Fridays. I slept through one-third of Economics lecture, while I spent a good portion of Mathematics lecture staring into space. Yup. An absolutely productive way of engaging myself. I forgot to bring Whitby's stuff during Literature, which was unexpected, but he didn't really scold or make any too sarcastic comments. Was really fun, as usual. Geography was enlightening, as usual also, as Miss Ting is a wonderful teacher who can make people actually learn. That's the similarity between Whitby as well Miss Ting, they tend to motivate more than regurgitate information from the textbooks. Which is yeah, good, duh.

Hah. Just realised that my command of English is deplorable. I'm using ungrammatical sentences, with little sentence variation as well as convolution. This is all thanks to my esteemed General Paper teacher, who employs every available opportunity criticising the class. Like I told Boonie, I came most probably start a Zen meditation class at the end of the academic year. My certification? Surviving my General Paper teacher. Serious. Its an accolade of the highest order. Maybe, say, two stages away from attaining Nirvana. Amazing, isn't it? Haha. Oh, mustn't forget the use of semi-colons to vary my sentence structure.

Yet, I must admit that she is good for me. My General Paper teacher I mean. I'm now making a conscientious effort to shorten my sentences, as well the use of semi-colons. All I wish for is an A grade at the end of the year. Some may say that its difficult to achieve, but I have faith in my ability, as well as the various English teachers I've had since infancy. Especially my Dad. Yup. Can't let them down now, can I? Just realised what I can say for the URA scholarship interview, if I ever get there. Not telling. *sticks out tongue*

I'm bored... ...



"Don't bother trying to be like me; I'm already beyond the natural boundaries of a human being..."

Set

Its been a rather strange day today. I have no idea why. The weather is sweltering, there were loads of people on the bus, was almost late for assembly as we strolled form the grandstand to the parade square via the canteen route... It all seems pretty normal, but the fact is that there is this surreal feeling, like I'm not really in school, but more like drifting from place to place. Nothing particularly eventful occurred today, unless by eventful, we can consider the absence of Benzie Dio and me forgetting my Math lecture notes for normal distribution. Really. Oh, and I was supposed to attend the make-up dance session. Other than that... Its as if I'm not really alive. More like, a presence. Yup. I don't mean this in a negative sort of way, rather, there's this... quality. I can't seem to be able to identify a single apt word or phrase to describe the true depth of the experience. Its like trying to explain the concept of happiness or the colour blue to a person born blind. What is it? Its a sensory feast thats on a very basic, instinctive level that is derived from our experience of the human world. maybe happiness feels different to everyone, I would never know, and we are unable to transfer this awareness to another person. Its that simple, yet so utterly complex.

Did CIP at KK Hospital today. Played board games with the children. It was an enriching experience, how all children, regardless of race, language and religion, we all have a similar understanding of play. This may seem contradictory to what I have just typed, but honestly speaking, I find that paradoxes are an integral part of our lives. The most ironic thing is often the most common, most applicable truth to our reality. Why is this the case? I'm not some philosopher like Socrates. I'm just an ordinary person on the street. Haha. Didn't go for Genshiken, although I did set work for the juniors. Told them to sketch out their costume, with all the movable parts attached. Haha. Shall check out their work, I seriously hope they did it.

Seems to me that this year's Cosfest will be early. Dang it, clashes with Kaen's camp stuff. Irritating. I wanna go with her. With her around, there's never a dull moment. I'm not sure if I mean it in a good way or a bad way. Serious. Not sure what kind of effect she has on people, but thats the kind of feeling I get from Kaen. Am I weird? Cause I just realised that there is absolutely no real guy that I like. Honest. I'm mad over anime/manga characters, male duh, yet in the real world... Some people say that I'm lesbian. Which is so untrue. I like girls in a purely platonic, friendly, gal-pal kind of way. Not the... yeah. Not in that that way. Oh. My boarding house expanded. There are now 4 people, namely Atobe, Hyde, Kaname and, yes, Kurei. I know. He hasn't left. I really tried. I did. But he wouldn't go. Wait. More like I kinda wouldn't let him go. Haha.

Right. I need to mug for a Human Geography test tomorrow. See ya.



"Its better to regret having done something than to have regret not having done it."

Hurt

Its weird how every time school starts after the holidays, the first day back is bound to totally suck. I'm serious. Today is an excellent example. GP was simply awful. The teacher, whom I shall not name, slammed all Arts stream students. I mean, she said, not once, nor twice, but four times, that she was 'horror-struck" to discover that her class consisted of near fifty percent Arts students. After that, she went on to 'assert' her argument by stating how Science students are logical, rational, methodical... Implicitly implying that Arts students are not. In colloquial terms, she was implying, not so subtly, that Arts students 'anyhow whack' without consideration of structure. Wow. How completely thoughtless. I suppose we can sue her for making discriminatory comments. I understand its normal to have a preference, but to the point where you address your class, half of which are from the Arts, making statements like these, is asking for trouble. Serious. An added motivation to prove her wrong, all to spite her...

I'm awfully sleepy. the medication prescribed by the sinseh was supposed to help me sleep better, yet... I'm not. I fall asleep way faster, but thats the only benefit so far. I still wake at the weirdest hour, and still combat fatigue in class. Sighx. I still have the bruises from the treatment on Saturday. it was pretty freaky to hear from the sinseh that I'm slightly anemic, have low blood pressure and back problems. She said I have a 65-year-old old woman's back! Argh. So I need treatment now if I don't want to suffer terribly in the last 40 years of my life. It made me feel really insecure. i mean, I'm not a really enthusiastic, professional dancer, yet my back is... poorly. What about dancers like my seniors, friends etc., who have been dancing since they were toddlers? Its inevitable to sustain injuries, so whats the status of their body? Hmm.

On a way lighter, more superficial note, my current favourite Laraku song is twinkle,twinkle and My Dear. Ok. I know its 2 songs. But its really AMAZING! Hyde can totally sing! The depth and range... Sighx. I'm intoxicated and drunk on it already. The really sad thing... which I think everyone knows by now, is that I can't possibly attend their concert! ARGH! Heart-broken... Oh well. I want more of their songs! There seems to be quite a number which I have yet to listen to. Yup. All I have heard are the more recent, more popular ones. The quest is now on for ALL songs! Haix. My brother is so going to scream at me for flooding iTunes with Japanese songs. Haha. I, however much yelled at, is fully aware of the fact that he listens to my songs, in secret of course. despite all his claims that I have horrible music taste, the truth is he doesn't really mind Laraku. in fact, I think he likes a few of their songs. Heehee. Oh. Duck. I want the song. I'm serious. I'm totally in love with Dir En Grey's Raison D'etre! I want! I want! Please? Arigatou!

I need to lose weight. No, its I need to lose fat. I have some 25.5% body fat, which is too much for my lifestyle. A cosplayer has to be lithe, not carting chunks of spare tyre, wobbly humps and other fat-related excess around. Have to get into shape for Tyki and Aoi. Both are like, lean and charismatic (I know, I know, why the hell am I doing such tough characters?! I'm not even remotely cool...), which equates to fat loss and more muscles. I'm so totally trying to make my life way more difficult... Haha. Oh well...

Shall leave to suffer in the hands of sadistic PE teachers...



"Pain in temporal, honour is forever...'

Screech

I like peanut butter. I like the nutty taste, the cloying texture, the way its really yummy... Ahh, sheer bliss. Its one of the few things in life that I truly enjoy, ranking among them reading manga, sleeping, listening to good music. Peanut butter is a form of earthly paradise. Haha.

I'm kinda exhausted. Had a rather hectic-ly boring day. There's dance tomorrow - at RGPS as our school hall is unable to be used, so we have to report at 8.15am. Urgh. The school is so concerned about the 'facilities', that the administration is sacrificing the study environment of the students to get the performing arts theatre ready for 'our enjoyment'. What a load of nonsense. We all know its for showing off during College Day, so why bother? Making a good impression on the various big shots is important, but what about the students? Those at the back of the Hall can hardly see the screen due to the flat surface. There's a reason why lectures are held in elevated theatres. I'm totally disappointed. All these are after the mention of the mainstream students as 'late-developers' during mass assembly. Hello? In the 'outside world', late developers is an euphemism for people with learning disabilities, usually due to genetics. Its an open secret that we are 'second-class', but could they at least be more subtle? Its extremely irritating, considering the fact that in quite a few ways, we are no worse than the 'kids', rather, we are as good, if not better, due to our added exposure to the big bad world. Urgh.

Shall not bother. I love AWAKE. Really listened to it. Laraku is simply amazing. Now, if all music was like that, I'll be spoilt for choice. Really really spoilt for choice. Haha. Its soothing, erratic, new, vibrant... Wait, I'm like practically stringing words together. Lousy adjectives. Its insufficient to describe the plethora of emotions, sensations all engulfing me. As you can see, I'm mugging for SAT vocabulary, haha. I really want to attend their concert...

Why do I bother? I'm sick and tired of it. Its pointless, irritating, infuriating, and does not contribute to my sense of accomplishment, personal fulfilment... I'm not talking about the SATs. Nor JRock. Yup. Its not your fault, its just that sometimes, I get upset over things that should have ceased to matter. Looks like I've yet to emerge anew from the experience. Ok. This is becoming an extremely random paragraph. There's something wrong with iTunes in my computer. Error every time I try to play a song, which is driving me up the wall. how in the world am I suppose to listen to Hyde... *cries*. Oh well. CD player. Ah. I think I'm tired. This paragraph has practically zero cohesion. All the random, unconnected thoughts are just being inserted into the box. This is bad. Umm. Need to go to bed soon. Is being tired a recurring theme here? Cause for concern. Shall have to consider. Breakfast at Shunfu tomorrow. Towel has to be hanged to dry. I seriously need to log off. Ophelia is now playing in my head, the strains of Hyde's voice lulling, seducing me to sleep. Gosh.

Laughing my little head of in Lalaland...



"Up or down, it doesn't matter, what matters is that you actually MOVE."

Wrong

Damn it. I'm looking for Dir En Grey's Raison D'etre, but I can't seem to find it online. I can't buy music, duh, I don't have a credit card, and the only bloody place that seems to stock a respectable JRock collection in Singapore is HMV. The Humongous Money-sucking Villain. Yup, that's because the prices of the CDs are so expensive, they make shipping from Japan seem really tempting. I really want to support my artists, but not the bloody middleman! I completely understand that firms are trying to profit maximise, duh, I take Economics, although my grades kind of suck, but that does not mean you earn some 75% of the CD! Its immoral! I will gladly attend the concerts of the band, cause I know they make money out of it. Hey, they entertain me, provide me with comfort, give me something to talk to people about... I don't mind paying them. Serious. If there was a viable solution to borrowing CDs, I'll gladly subscribe to it.



Laraku has a couple of new songs. I Wish, Drink It Down and some other remix. The Drink It Down MV seems really interesting, I previewed it from their site, and Hyde has a new hairstyle. Again. Longer, wavy hair now. Similar to Kamidjo, from Versialles, hair, but more low maintenance, more conventional. Will be out on April 2nd. Guess Ist April is a bad day, being April's Fool and all. Oh. Realised that Laraku really likes to use Caucasians in their MVs. Its as if I've never seen MVs that are filmed with traditional Japanese influences. Its kinda sad, but strangely fits them. Oh yeah. I like Tetsu. He is totally adorable. His smile is the kind of smile little boys give. So irresistable. Still can't believe that Hyde has the same birthday as Dad, I have the same birthday as Yukihiro, Tetsu and Atobe are born on the same day (yes, I know they are practically from two different planets) and Ken and my maternal grandmother share the same birthday. What a total coincidence! The HYDE Live tour will be from August to October this year, which is like, only 2 months after Trans Asia Via Paris Tour. Their Theatre of Kiss Tour just ended sometime 2 weeks ago. Dang, I really wanna go see them. It would be completely enjoyable...



Its pretty late now. I actually have loads of stuff to say, and photos of Matsuri to upload, but I'm seriously too lazy, tired, and bored, to do it. Will most probably upload them on Friday, Good Friday. Public holiday to catch up on sleep, homework, blog etc... It is a serious affair.



In a weird mood now. Think its the hour. Late. Or early, depending on how you look at it. Sleepy.

Shall leave... I have no idea why I just put up photos of Byakuya. The last picture is the poster in my room. I really have no idea, its not like he's remotely near my internal boarding house. Really. And so many... something is seriously wrong with me today. Shall leave, take medicine, check into Woodbridge...



"An exercise in futility... So why do you bother?"

Laugh

Should I apologise for leaving this site to fester in cyberspace for the past 2 months? Oh well. At least I have returned. Cue evil laughter. Its kind of interesting how being a second-year student still feels so freakingly similar to being a first-year. Other than the very obvious fact that the 'A'- Levels AND SAT is this year, both of which I have yet to really sit down and study, the rest is the same. Still have a hectic schedule, a lousy CCA, wait, make that one and a half, flunking Economics, hating Physical Education... Yup. Same old. Same old. Its the March holidays, although judging by the amount of homework, coupled with the tests lined up immediately after, you would think the teachers all thought that students have 48 hours in a day. I'm serious. The amount of Literature homework I have is astounding. Its freaky what they can make you do without having to slog their guts out to mark it. Urgh. I have to finish the Mthematics tutorial package, now thicker as we have covered more topics, a mountain of Literature homework which I am too lazy to describe, studying for Physical Geography test and SAT, SAT application details, 2 Economics essays and 2 case studies. Yuck. Is this going to become a homework journal?

I'm stuck at part 2/3 of Saiunkoku Monogatari. Yes, go ahead and laugh you evil people. My rate of progress is so amazingly slow that I think I'll be 20 years old by the time I finish watching the bloody series. Did I mention that there's a second series? Yup. Screwed. I realised that in Term 1, you're rushing to complete assignments. In Term 2, you're rushing to complete already late assignments. When Term 3 arrives, you only do assignments which are for the first 2 periods of the day. In Term 4, you ignore all assignments and just revise. Yup. Its comforting to know that there is a semblance, albeit a pathetic one, of a certain pattern of behaviour. How nice. Right. I wanna finish up Devil May Cry. I wanna finish Saiunkoku series 1 and 2. I wanna watch Vampire Knight. I want all the bloody exams to end. NOW. Which is unlikely to happen. Sighx. I shall go back to my suffering.

From my boarding house, I kicked out... Earl Tyki Mikku from D.Gray-Man. Yup, so he needs a home, and anyone who wants him is free to adopt him at zero charge. Similarly, I'm trying to extract Kurei from the boarding house, although he is extremely stubborn and absolutely refuses to move out. So anyone with a forklift (to remove his belongings), a fireman suit (flame caster, remember?), and nerves of steel is welcome to forcibly yank him from said boarding house. I must warn that he has an awful temper, an inability to not communicate with sarcasm, and is devilishly hot. So please, come and adopt him. I'm clearing space simply because its getting overcrowded, I mean, Atobe, Hyde, Kaname, Tyki, Kurei and Teru?! Thats not to mention the occasional extra people who bunk over, like Gackt, Tetsu, Yukimura... You get the drift. How can I possibly deal with so many pets... umm... kids... umm... attention-seeking parasites... whatever, all at one shot? Its simply not good for health. Yup. So I'm giving them away. Well, those that can be evicted. Without too much bloodshed. Tyki left surprisingly easily. He sort of went, grinning, but I'm afraid he'll come back next year. Hopefully, either I've renovated the boarding house to accommodate more people, or I throw... err... send more away. Nagging suspicion that no matter how much I expand the boarding house, it won't be enough. Arghx. Too many unreal guys. Now, why can't I get to know... Damn it. You didn't read anything.

Smiles.



" Love isn't as great as everyone says it is."

New

First post of the year! Wow, I know I got started pretty late into the year, but hey, better late than never! Lots of things have happened, cosplayed as Suzumiya Haruhi during CCA carnival for Genshiken, I know its pretty shocking as I don't precisely resemble her, but whats done is done, and they said it wasn't half-bad. New timetable, which gives me 2 free periods, but I have PE every Monday and Thursday at the unearthly hour of *gasp* 3pm. Utterly disgusting. Have to run in the hot sun... And the PE teacher's this crazy woman who wanted us to run... *GASP* 6 rounds! On the first PE session! After slacking for the entire holidays! Evil! Evil! I'm now the Economics rep for Ms Lee, did it because I need motivation to stay wawke ALL the time. I mean, you can't possibly be nodding off in class if you happen to be the rep right? So yup, must be exam-focused and exam smart! lessons are centered around A02, which is more boring than I thought. Wait, I thought it would be fun to see your classmates all the time! I guess I'm used to talking to different people all the time, so now that I'm restricted, its sort of weird. I miss my GP classmates and Mr Whitby especially, followed by the A01 students. Its actually weird to see so many A02 students in my lessons. I suppose I was usedto only seeing them during meals and after school...

Watching Saiunkoku still, as well as a bit of the usual HYDE stuff. No longer particularly interested though. I guess its because school has started officially, and all the school stuff cancels out the LAraku stuff. Sighx. Talk about temporal. Still having problems extracting myself from real nice songs, but I'm now mainly only interested in the TV talk shows where there are more interesting things. I mean, we all know that HYDE changes his hair style the way some people change their clothes, but whatever. Now its no longer a must, more like a would-be-good. Yup. Not sure what picture to use already, nothing new nowadays. Wait, I take that back. there are lots of new things, but none that I'm particularly interested in, nor easy for me to post it up here. There's this sense of dread in the atmosphere, and the fact that I'm doing Heart of Darkness for Literature is sort of a sympathetic background. I don't know.A sense of loss? Gloom? I'm not even sure why, but I do know that I'm not happy. Its that simple. I doubt its because I'm not in the Aristal 3 dance, although that certainly has a role to play. It shouldn't be the fact that I'm taking both the SAT as well as the A Levels this year, with lots of research for registration needed for the SAT. I'm not sure if its the knowledge that this will jolly well be the last time I'll be able to be a kid, and sheltered from reality. All? None? What do we know, and what do we think we know? What is important, and what is merely some label, some conceived idea of importance? What is real, and what is a pre-conceived misconception? When people are given the same instructions, different results are achieved, so what does that tell us about the reality that we see? So many questions, some with no answers available, some with answers we will only receive at the very end. Its so amusing that our existence is so short, weak, frail and negligible, yet the things created, things destroyed, things untouched are so minor to us. Who are we?

Maybe I should do KI... Or maybe philosophy...



"I want to be able to create something, to affect something, to change something... I want to be the center of someone's existence..."

Gah

Shoot. School starts in 4 days. Gah. So icky! What happened to all my time! My holidays! My junior college days! Out of the window with the bathwater! Ok. I have a ton of school work left, the same culprits, Economics essay, Economics research, General Paper article and the TNC research for Human Geography. Yup. And here I am swooning over the bishounen of Saiunkoku Monogatari! Haha. Indeed. I've dumped Kurei for the Saiunkoku bishies! I know Kaen's shocked that I dumped her 'brother' after the long loong looong period of emotional attachment, but hey, we gotta move on! :) Anyhow, its a really amusing show. Its sorta like the modern Fushigi Yuugi, without the irritating Miaka-like characteristics in the main female lead and the lousy Tamahome-like habits in the main male lead. The lead female's real cool and super smart, like your modern day beauty-and-brains combo in period Chinese attire, while the main male lead's hilarious. Honest. He actually gave the girl a voodoo doll as a present! He said, and I quote, "The straw doll carries my affections for her." LOL. Oh. Did I mention that the guy is bisexual? Yup. He started out as a gay, he's a king by the way... Imagine, a gay king who has public trysts with the officials of his court!... Yet became smitten with the girl (typical shounen-ai, but in this case I like the girl too, so I shall forgive him), so he's bisexual! Goodness. The guy isn't the I-wanna-smack-him nor the hot-bishie kind of male character, but the oh-man-he's-so cuute! type. So the show is definitely must-watch. The side characters totally fill the screen as well. There's the seriously funny to the seriously weird, the playboy to the big brother. You can totally pick and choose, and the best part is, they are all bishies! *KYAAH*

On the topic of bishies, I got my hands on KISS! No, I wasn't kissed by anyone (thank goodness), but I'm now the proud owner of L'Arc-en~Ciel's album, KISS. Yup. It has Seventh Heaven, My Heart Draws A Dream, Daybreak's Bell, Link among other songs, and to make this album even better... *drumroll please*... there's a Laraku sticker! This is on top of a perfectly cool lyrics book, there were loads of photos! Wow. Definitely worth it. Good thing I use a CD player, so I could listen to it immediately. Imagine the agony of those who have to wait to go home, turn on their computers before thye upload it to their iPod to play. I'm not saying that an iPod is lousy, oh no cause i want an iPod as well, but sometimes, a CD player can be plenty useful too. :)

Okie. I'm going to face up to the reality that I'm never really going to blog about the Tianjin trip. I mean, its too much effort for a lazy person like me with super selective, and short memory. So what I'm going to do is just make random references in my blog whenever it suits me or when I remember something which is suitable for the context of my post. Yup. Furthermore, I'll be setting up a Tianjin photo album, there are some kinks that I can't figure out the Shutterfly account, and I'll add the link the way I did with the cosplay photos add the links section of the blog. That should do. So go take a look-see :)



"I am not heartless, I merely gave my heart away to someone who never returned it to me.

Eve

Okay. I admit I'm all out of excuses as to why I have not been blogging recently. I could say that I was buried under a mountain of homework, and I still am, but it wouldn't be the absolute truth. As I discovered while talking to Kaen at Toa Payoh's Koufu the other day, I'm really really good at twisting the truth. I won't ever lie outright, that is so totally passe and reeks of a lack of respect for others, but I don't mind twisting it. Yup. Some people say that twisting the truth is lying, but I don't agree. There is a world of differnce between saying a bowl of hot soup is warm and cold. One is an opinion that depends on how many of your lip cells are dead. The other is lying. Argh. So I shall just admit to being a lazy girl. Ho hum.

Alrighty. I have uploaded most of the cosplay photos! I couldn't bring myself to upload all 20 of the yaoi Ginta-Phantom photos from EOY 2007, but all the Prince Of Tennis Cosfest 2007 photos are up. I have also uploaded a couple of the Tianjin photos, only abot 50 of the 300 odd photos that I took, and these are all in the public album. Yup. So sorry, but I have to lock the cosplay photos. There is absolutely no way I am going to allow my cosplay photos to be accessed publicly. Maybe after a few years I'll unlock them, but for now... I'm not going to let everyone see my lousy first attempt. Its really sad that I only started cosplay this year. Realised that I'm pretty good at pretending to be someone else. Although I don't really look like the character. Sighx.

Frustrated. Next year is A-Levels. Time really flies. Even when you are not having fun. Its the end of the year. Today is Christmas Eve, yet all I feel is this sense that time just ticks away. Really terrible feeling. maybe its because its the end of the year. Sighx. I need to bath. Shall leave...



"Tick-tock... goes the grandfather clock..."

Strike

Yeech. My alimentary canal has been on strike for the entire week. Serious. I came back from China, full of energy, bouncing around, annoying the Hell out of all my relatives, my Dad in particular, with my enthusiasm to be back in Singapore and stories from China. The next day, WHAM! I was vomiting once every 15 minutes, and having diarrhoea at the same time to boot! Considering that I vomited around once every 15 minutes, and made a run for the toilet around once every 20 minutes... I'm sure you can easily calculate that there were a few inconvenient moments where I was doing both at the same time. Super yuck. The stupid doctor gave me medication to swallow when I went to him... When I can't even swallow my own saliva! Can some other more qualified doctor, or one with COMMON SENSE examine HIS HEAD!? I told him, I told him, that I felt an injection would be better, but NOOOO, he couldn't just give me an injection without trying medication first. What nonsense! I had to lose more fluids, suffer for another 5 bloody hours before he gave me the injection. And when you are vomit once every 15 minutes, 5 hours is one heck of a long time. Oh. Did I mention that the opening hours of his clinic is 8am to 12pm, then 3pm to 5.45pm? Hello? Aren't your consultation hours a little bit... umm... short?

I'm still a little ill, overall still abit weak anf flu-ish, while my food intake has been drastically reduced by my now chicken-feed appetite. I'm serious. Those who know me know that I'm forever complaining that I'm hungry, well, now i often feel like puking after eating anything more than 10 mouthfuls, and it can sustain me for about 5 hours. I'm not joking. So now I can no longer dispose large quantities of food into the black hole. Sigh. I miss eating already. Now I feel like one of those girls I always hated, the kind who says she's full after a couple of bites and can't even finish a plate of food. Well, now I'm one of them, not that I want to be like that... *grumbles*

Was suppose to start blogging about my Chaina trip, but I shall procrastinate, with ill health as an excuse *grins*. So please, wait a bit longer. Oh yeah, I'll set up a photobucket account so I can drop the 300 odd photos into it. I know. I went trigger happy. Made friends with 5 new IP kids. Haha. Quite adorable... except CERTAIN habits of theirs. Shall talk about that later...



"Hmm, just because I love you doesn't mean I won't hurt you. In fact, I think I'll enjoy hurting you..."

Anticipation

Oh my mother freaking God. I'm gonna be on the six hour flight back home tomorrow! Yippy! I'm going home to the tropics after being in a dry, breezy, cold climate for two bloody weeks. Ok, I have nothing against the cold, in fact, I LIKE the cold, but the seriously dry weather does loads of bad things to me. Firstly, it gave me a sore throat. Secondly, my arms and legs look scaly... Like fish scales. Terrible. Thirdly, my HAIR! Oh my goodness, my hair is so frizzy, so dry... ARGH. So awful. Okay, can't always dwell on the negative stuff. The only positive thing is that my skin is improving, at snail's pace but still... Thats as the weather's pretty dry, so if I avoid using moisturizer on my face (I know how scary that sounds), the oil is sufficient to give me acceptable skin. Yippy! Although I only realised this about a week into my trip. Yes, yes, I know how stupid that is. Ahh. Good skin. Something pretty difficult to achieve under normal circumstances. Haha.

I miss Daddy, Mummy, Kaen, Duck, Tianruo, Xiao Qiu, Xiao Clare, Huifang... ok, I admit that I miss my pesky little brother even. Argh. I miss lessons, I miss dancing... but I don't miss some people in Chinese Dance. Yup. Sorry, but this is my blog, so I'm not going to censure my dissent of certain members of my estteemed CCA. Displeased? Go read someone else's blog if you want pretty words laced with honey. Who do you think you are? I'm so not going to change because of you. well, unless you happen to be HYDE... KYAH!!!

Kaen... I miss you... Didn't find your pink Victorian brolly. Duh. No yellow wigs. yup. So how's your preparations as Ginta coming along? Well, I'll be back in Singapore tomorrow, so I suppose we can go shopping for Ginta stuff and, touch wood, Alice's stuff either in Monday afternoon or Tuesday. Yup. Thats because I have dance on Monday morning, Wednesday morning and Saturday morning. Yup. Chinese Dance CCa days are increasing because of next year's Aristal. Argh. My HAIR!!! Not long enough for Alice, duh, but its WAY too long for Tyki. How? I can't possibly cut my hair, or my coach will kill me after frying me in hot oil. I doubt I can clip it all up, and there is no way I can get a wig... So I'm sorta out of options. Yax. Help me? Please? Or I can go as your personal assistant... You know, take photos, take your bag, do your hair and make-up... Yup that also a feasible option. Consider?

Can't find a single L'Arc-en~Ciel CD. Its that bad. Urgh. Seems like I'll have to go to CD-RAMA to get HYDE"s Faith CD or, gulps, buy HMV stuff. I so do not think that its worthwhile to pay 70 bucks to buy a couple of songs, while I'm not inclined to ripping works of art. Hmm. So what shall I do to satisfy my craving...

"I'm going home... I'm going back to where it all began... I'm going back to the place where I can be who I am..."

Destination

I'm in China! Yup, I'm currently in my host's house blogging! Cool eh? The trip has been...really really long, to the extent that I'm unable to simply unable to describe it all in one post. Yup. Also, I'm unable to upload my photos, thanks to me being addle-headed and not bringing my USB cable for my camera. As such, this post is simply an update on my general situation and nothing more. I'll leave all the juicy details to the following posts as well as the Tianjin blog itself, although the TRULY juicy stuff will only be made known to the select few people...

Oh, I was ill for most of the previous week, spending most of the time sniffing or coughing away. I'm feeling much better now though. My host family is real nice, and the boy is a true fan of aeroplane and Gundam models. He doesn't look anything like my Kor, although he is bespectacled, and pretty amiable. The parents remind me of my own... I miss you Daddy!... and the house is superbly quaint. I'll be joining the official school lessons tomorrow, my first 3 lessons are English, Chemistry and Physics. Yup. I'll either fall asleep or stare blankly at the blackboard for two hours. I can feel it. Sighx. It feels good to blog again. I have an entire room to myself, so I feel a little sorry for my host who will have to room with my brother, but I know its unavoidable.

I'll start uploading photos as soon as possible, so you'll get to see all the picturesque places I visited. Took lots of photos, around 270 at last count, and I've only been in China for a week. Oh well. Shall take photos with the host family and of their home. Believe me, its totally sweet.

Well, I need to bath and unpack, so I shell leave this as it is....

"I like my men with both brain and brawn; don't give me hot idiots or smart geeks, I want a proper male..."

Limbo

Once again, I'm in the airport. Terminal One again. Ahh. Using the Internet connection again. Well, but with a difference. Firstly, I'm with Kellie, Stella and Jamie. Secondly, the Internet connection today is seriously slow. I suppose its due the the fact that everyone is using the same terminal or server. The current discussion among the few of us centers on a0 how slow the Intrernet connection is and b) how expensive thermal socks is. Yes, indeed, we seem to be aging prematurely judging by the kind of conversations we hold. Oh, I think the biometric pasport machine likes me. Honest! Its as I was one of the few who were able to proceed through the gate with no hassle. It is pretty fast, much faster than the conventional stamping, typing in your pasport number... etc. Only problem is that it tends to be rather problematic if the machine doesn't like you. Oh well. Not my fault. Oh. Mechanization also results in the loss of employment. Ah, the price of efficiency. The boarding time is in 10 minutes. Only 4 minutes left until the computer reverts back to the home page, due to the 15 minute rule. Sighx. Nothing else to say. Shall leave...

Sorry, no picture to attach as I'm using public Internet acess.

"Do you think I'm being paranoid to think that the whole world has been taken over by giant bugs?"

Prepare

Okay, I am totally in a rush here. I need to go to bed early simply because I need to be at the airport at 7.30AM tomorrow morning. Well, after you factor in the 45min travelling time, coupled with 25min morning clean up and a 15min breakfast... I'm sure we are all well aware of the fact that I need to wake up at 6AM. I'm too excited to get much sleep I suppose. Oh. And because I'm such a doofus, I accidentally 'created' a new ear hole today when I reinserted my earring after cleaning it. Yup. Idiotic right? Ah. So I have totally wasted some 5 weeks of pain and discomfort because I have to treat my ear hole as a new one from now on. And I'm going to Tianjin tomorrow. Wowie. What wonderful timing.

My bag is packed, well save for the toiletries, which I can only stuff into my already stuffed bag tomorrow morning after using my toothbrush, the gifts are ready... All that is left is the actual person to leave. I'm pretty nervous because this is the first time I'm leaving the country without a guardian, the first time I'm leaving the country with the probability of snow, and the first time I'm going to be in the same house for an extended period of time with a male with no blood relation to me. A lot of firsts. Oh. Its also the first time someone asked me to buy a pink Victorian umbrella for them as well. You know who you are. In any case, if anyone wants presents, souvenirs, or just someone to buy something on their behalf from Tianjin, China (Please don't ask me to bring back anything against custom regulation or weighing more than 3kg), feel free to SMS me. I have Autoroam, so while I won't be answering any phone calls nor replying to any SMS, I can still receive it. Yup.

I doubt I can update this blog in China, because the Chinese government banned Blogger (damn it), but I promise to upload pictures taken as well as lengthy, tedious, boring essays on the description of my activities in China. I'll try to put everything down in writing, even the time I go to bed and how long I take to brush my teeth will not be ignored. As if. Oh well. I did bring writing, and study materials, so I suppose I can just write down the content during my free time. Yup. If I'm not bathing, using the toilet, sleeping or stoning.

I know lots of people love me (please stop choking and coughing), so can one of the said persons give me a birthday present? I'm not asking for the Sun, Moon, Atobe, Kurei, an ocean or anything so difficult. All I ask is:

1) HYDE's CD Faith (can be bought in CD-RAMA - I am NOT joking. By the way, CD-RAMA in Toa Payoh has a storewide 50% discount)
2) Scrapbook of Atobe/Kurei/HYDE/ any other guy that you know I like.
3) MONEY! (I'm sorry, but I tend to be practically blunt. Geddit?)
4) DVD of HYDE's movie Kazen no Tsuki or something like that. NOT Moon Child. I have that.
5) Soft toys! I have yet to outgrow soft toys. No idea why.
6) Treat me to good food. No need to be expensive, but it must be yummy. Definitely.
7) Gift certificates for Borders/Kinokuniya. This is for the lazy, boring people who can't be bordered. I understand, just give me the present.
8) Spa/ Manicure/ Pedicure voucher. I need to pamper my poor body. I mean, I have aching muscles!
9) Recommendation to a good tailor and help me pay for the coat I need tailored. I will ADORE whoever can do this for me.
10) TIME!!!!! Stop giving excuses and go out with me! Hello??? When was the last time we had a roaring good time?

See, I'm not spoilt nor high-maintenance. I just happen to be a greedy girl who knows how to enjoy life. Haha.

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions."

Living

I've packed my bags. I've bought all the things that I feel that I ought to buy. I've corresponded with my buddy. Now all that is left is for me to get onto the plane and fly to Tianjin, China on Monday. Serious. That's all that's left. Okay, I still need to finish my packing, as well to buy a gift for the host family, but I'm more or less done with the entire preparation part of the trip. Oh. I forgot, I still need to borrow a costume from the dance store for the presentation in the school. I happen to be the one modeling the Chinese Dance costume. Damn it. Anyway, what still need to be stuffed into my bags stands at:

2 sets of long johns
Undergarments and more socks
Toiletries (Towel, shampoo, conditioner, facial wash, moisturizer, toothbrush, toothpaste)
Hairdryer
Stockings
Universal Adapter
Chinese Dance costume
Gifts
Literature homework
Vitamin C pills
Medication...

I'm certain you get the idea. Its just the little things that I still need to pack, not the sweaters, pants kind of things. The general things are already more or less sorted out in my suitcase. Hmm. I'm actually quite tired. I suppose its from the multiple dance practices as well as the excitement of going overseas. Damn. Just remembered my homework. I shall have to complete about a third of my Math by Sunday if i want to leave this country with a guilt-free conscience. i guess its from enrolling in a mugger school like NJ that has spurred me to become so... aware of assignments. Oh, and it totally does not help that my Promotional grades were pretty lousy, with the 'A' levels being 11 months away as well. Shoot. A girl can no longer just enjoy a holiday; there are truckloads of things just WAITING to be completed by said girl, with commitments flying all over. I mean, schoolwork, dance, roller-blading, friends... and I have yet to do any REVISION! I am so totally screwed. Yup. I wonder how people with more extra-curricular and those with a more diverse social life keep up with all things going on. I mean, you can't have quality relationships and results without dedicating time, money and effort into all the areas. I mean, money can easily be pumped in, effort can be from coffee, sheer mental willpower to endure and time from reducing sleeping hours, multi-tasking and reducing travel time... but will you really enjoy your life like that? I mean, I like my sleep, I like slacking once in awhile... so I guess its not possible for me to sacrifice living for the sake of life. Oh well, everyone has their own priorities, so people will make their own choices. And our choices ultimately determine who and what we are. Sighx. We dig our own grave and build our own paradise. How good to be slammed into the brick wall of reality.

Shall go to bed now, I happen to have dance in about... 9 hours. Need sleep.



"I'm looking for a faerie which can lie"

Drool

Been watching the music videos of Laraku. The only thing I can say is that the band is in serious need of medication. I mean, every music video seems really special, to the extent that if you were not familiar with the band members, you would think the music videos were of completely separate bands. Truly. Case in point is Daybreak's Bell, Driver's High, finale and Blurry Eyes. Go and watch the music videos, and be shocked by the difference between them. From a surrealistic MV to a robbery to a documentary programme to Hyde cross-dressing. God. If they were not all sung by Hyde, I would be really tempted to dismiss it as fluff. Serious. But it helps make the MV very special, to the point that I'm inclined to blog AFTER watching the MVs, and not during. Dang. If not for my time limit... I suppose the difference in the MVs can be due to the time when it was produced, after all Laraku is a 15 year old band, so the difference in the general atmosphere of their MVs is expected. Oh well. No matter what MV it is, the clothes of the band are always really cool. Even when Hyde cross-dresses, he looks definitely cool. Albeit a little effeminate. Yet still cool. I guess its his personal charisma. Topped with those smouldering eyes of his. Deadly combination of hotness.

Hmm. Just realised that I seriously adore charismatic guys. Oh. Who doesn't? Kaen should know full well who I'm referring to. This post is dedicated to Laraku so I'm gonna gush about Hyde only. *Sorry guys, but I love all of you too.* I guess its the most obvious when you watch Seventh Heaven MV. Its so unbelievably ridiculous, so if Hyde can still look cool with neon backgrounds, the entire band dressed in black and dancing 'chicken' things... He is cool. Uber cool.It just goes to show that you can still be an utterly hot male even if you wear dresses, have French coiffs, shape your eyebrows and use lots of eyeliner if you are charismatic. The epitome of cool. You realise that I said that you have to be charismatic enough to pull this off? Good.

Shall revert to my hero-worship cum drooling session...


" Three may keep a secret, but only if two are dead."

Update

Kk. Kaen demanded for an update, so here it is. I realise that I'm always apologising for not being able to update my blog. Really, its often not my fault. I can't help it if my parents are mad at me and refuse to allow usage of the computer right? Sighx. I shall do an update of the past two weeks...

First and formost... PROJECT WORK is OVER!!!!! Yippy! I had so much fun deleting the PW folder in both my computer and my USB drive. Really. Although it was just a simple action of pressing the 'Delete' button on the keyboard; the sense of satisfaction is something not easily replicated. It was that high on th 'Feel-Good Factor' scale. HAHA. I survived! Eat that you hellspawn aka PW!

Well, back to the material world...

On the 2nd of November, I went out with the Family, namely Mum, Grandmother, Aunt and Pesky Brother. Yup. We first went on a boat to Kusu Island. It was a scenic, boring place, with loads of turtles, as the name implies. I have been there before during OAC last year. Yup. So now the only draw was the boat ride. I'm really attracted to boats and the sea, so the boat ride was purely enjoyable. Ahh. After that, we had dim sum lunch at The Revolving Restaurant, which was a bit expensive, but the food was pretty good, we had an unobstructed view of the harbour area, so it wasn't a major waste of money. Then we took a cable car from Mt. Faber to Sentosa, locals have a 60% discount. I'm serious. They charge foreigners $32 for a round trip, but locals pay only $10. So bring your Identification Card along! The view from the cable car was great! I saw the deck of SuperStar Virgo, and boy, was it pretty. It looked like something out of some television show, white, clean, with all the amenities and pool decks... so unreal. And so enormous. At Sentosa, Pesky Brother and I went to play this go-cart like vehicle called a Luge. I have no idea how I am suppose to pronounce the word. Anyway, it was so fun that I wondered if I was really in Singapore. I mean, since when did my boring island country have such fun stuff?! Racing down a hill before taking a ski-ramp back up... It was superb. I shall bring my Tianjin buddy, Yuzheng, to play, but more on that later.

The rest of the time spent leading up to this update was spent in libraries, Borders ( I know its bad for the economy to only read and not buy any books, but I'm that broke. Shh.), dance practices (the newest dance is based on the movement of a Chinese writing brush, but how we are suppose to look like we are writing?!), attending Geography and Literature lessons in the morning, two inline skating lessons in the evening, as well as a two-day dance camp. Whoa. I had no idea I have been so productive *preens*. Well. Next week will be homework week. Sighx. Well, all good things must come to an end. So next week, on top of the numerous dance practices, homework that screams to be completed, library books that complain that they ought to be returned... I need to pack for the Tianjin trip and attend my own early birthaday party-outing. Yup. That's all.

About my Tianjin trip... I'm shocked. My buddy is a guy, called Yuzheng, two years younger than me. Its sort of ineveitable, with China's emphasis on sons and the one-child policy. Oh well, you can't expect all 15 of our buddies to be female. I think its sort of a phenomenon in Singapore. A mainly female group of ambassador. Yup. Oh well, nothing that we can do at this point in time.

Sighx. Been watching Laraku MVs. Shall continue. See ya!

Oh. Watch Seventh Heaven at this link. Damn nice. I think its my favourite Laraku song, and the MV shows a really... liberal HYDE. Yummy. Oops. Kaen wants me to stop wanting to munch on delicious guys.

"Every hour wounds. The last one kills."