Playlist
My Dear by L'Arc-en~Ciel
I like reading. I always have. Be it fiction or non-fiction, reading books, articles and magazines have always made me happy. Even blog posts are interesting. I just like font. I do have my preferences though. There are some pieces of writing that are really dry and awful. There are some styles that make me want to scalp the author. There are some plots so stupid and cheesy that either I take it as a joke or I hurl the book into some volcano to preserve my sanity. Believe me, some pieces of writing should never have been thought out, much less pen. Nor published and sold. The horror. Still, I think the greatest flaw is a lack of plot. Different people like different writing styles. Society, culture, language and even the sex of the reader influences the type of writing and style preferred. Plot, however, is different. Plot is neceassary.
Below, in no particular order, are plots that I think are the worst. It just goes to show how little thought has gone into it. Oh wait. Maybe its the art/ writing style/ romance/ action/cover picture/ paper type/ font/ binding that was the emphasis. MAYBE.
1) Normal Girl meets Guy. Guy is the mafia head/ yakuza-don/ school track star/ rich brat/ prince-of-foreign-country and always misunderstood. He has evil/ sadistic/ arrogant/ bratty/ snotty characteristics, but is actually a softie at heart. Falls in love with her, with or without some embarrassing scene that involves the girl getting into trouble. Cue them dating. Introduce Guy B. He's either perfect or has some serious secret evil fetish. He likes Girl. Cue love triangle. When Girl and Guy finally tides over everything, in comes Girl B. Similarly, she is either perfect or a disgusting princess/ spoilt brat/ witch/ bitch. She likes Guy. Cue catfight. Girl and Guy emerges from the ashes with a new found love for each other. They live happily ever after. I puke.
Does no one other than me think stuff like that is STUPID? Unless you read it for the stupidity? I can name MOUNTAINS of books that revolve around such a plot. A waste of finite resources. All the poor trees cut and pulped. For what? Trashy books. You may claim its romance, but believe me, I have read romance novels with PLOT. Think Away From Her. I forgot a book, but it was a bodice ripper. WITH PLOT. That is the most important thing! Stop hiding it under the name of Chick Lit. In no way is that stuff Literature if every Mary, Sue and Jane can write it. Its called patterned black ink on paper.
2) Child, usually a girl is born. Is bullied by family or is an orphan. Treated as a second-class citizen. Meets a guy who loves her for her voice/ dancing/ hair/ eyes/ resemblance to his dead mother or sister. Boy's family disapproves of her. They suffer. Perservere.They get married. Girl's family realises she is happy. Try to ruin their happiness. They suffer divine retribution. The couple lives happily ever after.
This is the format of virtually every Korean drama. Have you not have enough of this on television? Why read this as well? Goodness. Its not that I have something against romance as a genre. Rather, I just feel that it is one of the most cliched genres ever. Instead of thinking of something new, authors prefer the tried and tested cheesy formula that the other nine hundred and ninety nine romance authors have used. Maybe the problem lies in the genre itself. Most are female readers, who I have come to believe, desire stability and consistency. This is not to say that they don't like adventure. Rather, those who feed the authors of this genre prefer their adventure in safe doses. I think I'm going to be murdered for saying this.
3) Boy is a street rat. Meets a special someone. Learns life lessons. Becomes a good person.
I'm not saying that this plot is stupid per se. Just... Err. Not good. Yes, there's often the inspirational and feel good factor thats very potent when coupled with support for the underdog... But. Yeah. Not good. Bad and not good are two different things. One is the opposite of good. The other is its negative form. Ususally, especially if its a fictional account, it often lacks the verisimilitude that real life accounts have. There is this sense that things are greatly exaggerated, or that there are missing elements. I think this is from the inability to create the little details that adds to the plot. The fictional accounts are also often not sufficiently emotionally engaging to be able to hide this blemish. Oh well. Its a structural problem that pretty paint cannot cover.
4) In a galaxy far far away... Cue wars. Cue social strife. Flying airships. Dictators. Massive unrest.
This is not about Star Wars. Rather... Hello???? As if life on Earth was not bad enough, you have to create a similarly screwed up world thats an exaggeration of our world. Its not like its a new concept. Its just taking things to the extreme. Like combining Pol Pot, Hitler and Mojo Jojo altogether into one Ultimate-Evil-Fella-Who-Has-Ruled-For-Eons. Not like it functions well as a social tool. Oh. There is plenty of descriptive. But no plot. WAIT. Maybe its a descriptive. If thats the case, I'd rather play fantasy games. Or read another book.
The silliest plot I have ever come across is below. Coded. So that those of you poor innocent souls will not be corrupted by me. It is as follows:
5) Akihito meets Asami. Akihito pawned. Akihito meets FeL. Similarly is pawned. Asami and FeL catfight. Asami wins. Akihito continues being pawned. End of story.
HELLO???? WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO READ STUFF LIKE THAT?! WAIT. WHY DO I EVEN ASK TO READ STUFF LIKE THAT?!
" The greatest pain is the inability to understand the pain of loss."
Friday, 27 February 2009
Wednesday, 25 February 2009
Damage
Playlist
Agoraphobia by Vidoll
It is exceedingly infuriating. I hate it when people do things like that to me. I do my best to be nice, but sometimes, I'd gladly clobber them to death. Common sense is not common, and rational people are endangered. I try not to be violent. And rude. Although I really think I should snap at those fools. Not like it would change anything. Stupidity cannot be cured just like that. Brain transplants are neccesary to rehash everything. However, who is going to provide the brain? Thus, idiocity lives on. May the Force be with us. I shall hope that there is nothingness after death. Imagine the torment of spending eternity with fools. Yeah. God loves everyone. So the rest of us who are not so loving, as we are not God, will just have to bear with their foolishness for an eternity? No thank you. Please. One lifetime is more than enough. Do not subject me to such torment forever.
Locking my blog gives me a delicious sense of self-satisfaction. The idea that it is off-limits to individuals NOT in my list makes me happy in a vindictive way. Yeah. I never said I was a nice person. No seme is nice. HAHA. I know full well that I can be bitchy, inconsiderate and just a general pain, but society demands otherwise. Now I get a slight respite. Not only do I keep details about my friends away from random individuals, I can insert snarky comments without worrying too much about my societal image. Yes. Say I'm a poser. Whatever. I think I'm less pretentious than most people I know. I won't be nice to you while backstabbing you. I'll just skip the nice part and go straight to hurting people. Requires less energy. So in a way, I'm an open threat. See? I respect my enemies too.
I'm low on funds. Simple reason. Or reasons. Driving. One lesson is around thirty dollars. My wallet screams in agony. Japanese. The first level is ending mid-March and I need to pay for the next. Cruise. Poof! There goes three-hundred dollars. My paycheck for the previous month gone. Sigh. Thats why I have to work. No work, no money, lower standard of living. I WANT MY RESULTS. This is not random. Thinking of standards of living led me to think about Human Geography and Economics. Both of which are subjects I take. A Level H2 subjects pending results. Goodness gracious me. Why is it taking so long? The wait is sufficient to kill you. Ok. I shall not die until I see my reults. Death shall be withheld. HAHA. Who am I to try to determine the will of the heavens? Just a lone voice crying out in the great vast space of the universe. I am nothing. I exist in the flash of the present. And yet, I seek to control the forces far greater than I. HAHA. I am of humankind. Infinitely minute, yet so self-centered as to believe that I can be a force that surpasses the heavens. I laugh.
" My face is a mask. My eyes are glazed. My smile is frozen. My laugh is a farce. This is me."
Agoraphobia by Vidoll
It is exceedingly infuriating. I hate it when people do things like that to me. I do my best to be nice, but sometimes, I'd gladly clobber them to death. Common sense is not common, and rational people are endangered. I try not to be violent. And rude. Although I really think I should snap at those fools. Not like it would change anything. Stupidity cannot be cured just like that. Brain transplants are neccesary to rehash everything. However, who is going to provide the brain? Thus, idiocity lives on. May the Force be with us. I shall hope that there is nothingness after death. Imagine the torment of spending eternity with fools. Yeah. God loves everyone. So the rest of us who are not so loving, as we are not God, will just have to bear with their foolishness for an eternity? No thank you. Please. One lifetime is more than enough. Do not subject me to such torment forever.
Locking my blog gives me a delicious sense of self-satisfaction. The idea that it is off-limits to individuals NOT in my list makes me happy in a vindictive way. Yeah. I never said I was a nice person. No seme is nice. HAHA. I know full well that I can be bitchy, inconsiderate and just a general pain, but society demands otherwise. Now I get a slight respite. Not only do I keep details about my friends away from random individuals, I can insert snarky comments without worrying too much about my societal image. Yes. Say I'm a poser. Whatever. I think I'm less pretentious than most people I know. I won't be nice to you while backstabbing you. I'll just skip the nice part and go straight to hurting people. Requires less energy. So in a way, I'm an open threat. See? I respect my enemies too.
I'm low on funds. Simple reason. Or reasons. Driving. One lesson is around thirty dollars. My wallet screams in agony. Japanese. The first level is ending mid-March and I need to pay for the next. Cruise. Poof! There goes three-hundred dollars. My paycheck for the previous month gone. Sigh. Thats why I have to work. No work, no money, lower standard of living. I WANT MY RESULTS. This is not random. Thinking of standards of living led me to think about Human Geography and Economics. Both of which are subjects I take. A Level H2 subjects pending results. Goodness gracious me. Why is it taking so long? The wait is sufficient to kill you. Ok. I shall not die until I see my reults. Death shall be withheld. HAHA. Who am I to try to determine the will of the heavens? Just a lone voice crying out in the great vast space of the universe. I am nothing. I exist in the flash of the present. And yet, I seek to control the forces far greater than I. HAHA. I am of humankind. Infinitely minute, yet so self-centered as to believe that I can be a force that surpasses the heavens. I laugh.
" My face is a mask. My eyes are glazed. My smile is frozen. My laugh is a farce. This is me."
Monday, 23 February 2009
Bored
Playlist
Le Ciel by Malice Mizer
Its that time agin. I'm bored. I hate being bored. Whenever I'm bored, I do dangerous things. Like say things that should not see the light of day. Like torturing my friends with mind-numbingly BORING blog entries. Like uploading photos that are near inconsequential. And uploading photos that should never be allowed on cyberspace. Listening to terrible music. Surf Wikipedia. Handing in sloppy work. Write yet another 4 Notes on facebook. Believe me, one can die from boredom. It starts with your brain turning into putty. After that, your curiosity disintegrates.Your vocabulary suffers greatly. Speech becomes mono-syllabic. You are easily amused. Complaints make up your conversation. Judgement is flawed due to numerous assumptions and bias. Worse, you have no opinion! Your speech is peppered with trasitionary phrases as you lack content. WAIT. This sounds like something that afflicts the majority of society. I rest my case. Boredom is BAD.
I'm not saying that you should always be busy. Stressed. Boredom and busy are not opposites. Rather, you can be both busy and bored. Like busy shredding paper as the official shredding machine operator. It does not change the fact that you are bored. Boredom and engagement in fruitful activity is two separate issues. Not mutually exclusive. Boredom is a state of mind. It arises from having nothing suitably stimulating to do. I am a case in point. Sure I'm busy. But am I engaged? Nope. My mind is hovering in this white static. Gone for an extended vacation. Way before my cruise trip. HAHA. Not funny. I want to go back to MBA. At this rate, it wont be me matriculated in July. Rather, it'd be a lump of flesh controlled by a pudding brain. The horror! Celine, save me!
"The agony of having nothing to do is in the knowledge that nothing you do matters."
Le Ciel by Malice Mizer
Its that time agin. I'm bored. I hate being bored. Whenever I'm bored, I do dangerous things. Like say things that should not see the light of day. Like torturing my friends with mind-numbingly BORING blog entries. Like uploading photos that are near inconsequential. And uploading photos that should never be allowed on cyberspace. Listening to terrible music. Surf Wikipedia. Handing in sloppy work. Write yet another 4 Notes on facebook. Believe me, one can die from boredom. It starts with your brain turning into putty. After that, your curiosity disintegrates.Your vocabulary suffers greatly. Speech becomes mono-syllabic. You are easily amused. Complaints make up your conversation. Judgement is flawed due to numerous assumptions and bias. Worse, you have no opinion! Your speech is peppered with trasitionary phrases as you lack content. WAIT. This sounds like something that afflicts the majority of society. I rest my case. Boredom is BAD.
I'm not saying that you should always be busy. Stressed. Boredom and busy are not opposites. Rather, you can be both busy and bored. Like busy shredding paper as the official shredding machine operator. It does not change the fact that you are bored. Boredom and engagement in fruitful activity is two separate issues. Not mutually exclusive. Boredom is a state of mind. It arises from having nothing suitably stimulating to do. I am a case in point. Sure I'm busy. But am I engaged? Nope. My mind is hovering in this white static. Gone for an extended vacation. Way before my cruise trip. HAHA. Not funny. I want to go back to MBA. At this rate, it wont be me matriculated in July. Rather, it'd be a lump of flesh controlled by a pudding brain. The horror! Celine, save me!
"The agony of having nothing to do is in the knowledge that nothing you do matters."
Saturday, 21 February 2009
Advert
Playlist
Jesus by Gackt
Watch it. Gackt looks seriously hot. I watched his Ghost PV too. Not as impressive. I prefer seeing Gackt. Not the lousy Sarah Chronicle actors. Besides, Gackt's voice comes across better without the techno bits. Sorts of overshadows his wonderful voice. Haha. Jesus is amazing. The lyrics aren't the most impressive of what he has written, though it most certainly has the most English in it. I just think he looks good in Goth. Ok. I think he looks good 99% of the time. I'm biased towards him. So shoot me. Whatever.
I have decided to chronicle what I eat at Marvelous Cream. My Marvelous Cream photos. I can't help thinking that it is heavenly. Its only been a week and I want more. Greedy aren't I? Its not that I earn alot either. Sheesh. I know I have expensive tastes. Still. Should not be this way.
This shall be a short post as I need to sleep early. My first driving lesson is tomorrow. Hope I dont crash into a tree. Or worse. Haha. My main purpose was to upload songs into my phone and upload photos onto my computer. AND~
Who wants to attend the Final Fantasy concert on 23rd May 2009? Forming a group of fifteen for more discounts. Currently, we are aiming for the 50 dollar ticket at a lower price. At Esplanade. More details in March. So far, confirmed: Me. Vivi. Kaen. Yukiya. SD. Karei. Giselle. Giselle's friend. Naoki. Did I miss out anyone? Tell me. Email. Comment. SMS. PM. Whatever.
"Wake me up from this dream of eternal slumber..."
Jesus by Gackt
Watch it. Gackt looks seriously hot. I watched his Ghost PV too. Not as impressive. I prefer seeing Gackt. Not the lousy Sarah Chronicle actors. Besides, Gackt's voice comes across better without the techno bits. Sorts of overshadows his wonderful voice. Haha. Jesus is amazing. The lyrics aren't the most impressive of what he has written, though it most certainly has the most English in it. I just think he looks good in Goth. Ok. I think he looks good 99% of the time. I'm biased towards him. So shoot me. Whatever.
I have decided to chronicle what I eat at Marvelous Cream. My Marvelous Cream photos. I can't help thinking that it is heavenly. Its only been a week and I want more. Greedy aren't I? Its not that I earn alot either. Sheesh. I know I have expensive tastes. Still. Should not be this way.
This shall be a short post as I need to sleep early. My first driving lesson is tomorrow. Hope I dont crash into a tree. Or worse. Haha. My main purpose was to upload songs into my phone and upload photos onto my computer. AND~
Who wants to attend the Final Fantasy concert on 23rd May 2009? Forming a group of fifteen for more discounts. Currently, we are aiming for the 50 dollar ticket at a lower price. At Esplanade. More details in March. So far, confirmed: Me. Vivi. Kaen. Yukiya. SD. Karei. Giselle. Giselle's friend. Naoki. Did I miss out anyone? Tell me. Email. Comment. SMS. PM. Whatever.
"Wake me up from this dream of eternal slumber..."
Friday, 20 February 2009
Side
Playlist
Dune by L'Arc-en~Ciel
I know this may seem preposterous to some of you. I mean, what's a young 'un like me doing, giving out advice to people. I'm not OLD enough to be THE voice of experience and maturity. So they say. I'm not sure if this helps, but I'm going to make my view known. Read if you want to. Believe me if you think it is relevant. Ignore me if you think it isn't. I just have no desire to see my friends eat themselves up. At least I would have known I tried. Nothing I can do to force others to take my advice. Still, before you brush me off, hear me. Judge on your own.
It is OK to fail. To be lonely. To be afraid. To want to run away. Its fine to question yourself. To make mistakes. To regret what you did. Or did not do. Go ahead. Mope. You earned it. Cry. You need it. Complain. You are entitled to it. I'm your friend. Your senior. Or junior. I'll be there if you need me. Give me a call. Sms. Write a letter. An email. Anything. JUST TELL ME. I cannot be there if there is no location. I cannot save you if you refuse me. I am not God. I cannot work miracles. All I can do is give you a respite. I can accompany you. I can entertain you. Ask and you will receive. I give you my all.
Flaming is stupid. It reeks of immaturity. Stems from jealousy. Stop denying it. There are things about the person you flame that you admire. It just so happens that there are other qualities that you do not like in that package. I am not one to join in the fun. Flaming should be left to people who operate military flamethrowers, and my darling 紅麗, NOT normal everyday people. YES. You are a NORMAL PERSON. I don't care if you are a scholar, cosplayer, dancer, rocket scientist, web designer or compulsive gambler. You need food, water and sleep. So you are NORMAL. To those who tell me they do not need sleep, my response is this. Can you function WELL without sleep? Play basketball. Do Math. Draw. Listen to music... Can you do these without sleep for a month? The answer is NO. You can function with little sleep. NOT NO SLEEP. Criteria for normality fulfilled. So stop being a fool. You can comment. Do it conducively. Thats the key word. Conducive. Those who do not shall be banished to Hell by order of ME.
Another thing. If you have like someone, tell them! Or bear it in silence. All's fair in love and war, so if you don't stake your claim, stop behaving like a spoilt brat when some other guy/girl goes out with them. Its first-come-first-served. No such thing as "I-was-eye-candying-him-since-last-year." Pfft! Too bad, its this year NOW. Make a move, or join the hundred other or so other girls who are eye-candying him too. Some may think I'm exceedingly forward. So? At least I get a response. If he doesn't like me, at least now I know. Instead of torturing my friends with woeful tales when I see him with another girl on Facebook, Friendster or in the streets. For those who want to wait for the other party to make the first move, pity our ears and reduce your moaning and wailing. No one has died. Yet. I'd much rather listen to Gackt, thank you very much. So guys out there, please, PLEASE hurry up. Pity our ears yeah? I'm sorry, but society still encourages men to make the first move.
Finally. Off my shoulders. Kaen, have you signed up for Japanese????
"The words for this feeling... Can't be found out... can't be discovered... I can't say anything but...I want to... gaze at you like this... Forever..."
Dune by L'Arc-en~Ciel
I know this may seem preposterous to some of you. I mean, what's a young 'un like me doing, giving out advice to people. I'm not OLD enough to be THE voice of experience and maturity. So they say. I'm not sure if this helps, but I'm going to make my view known. Read if you want to. Believe me if you think it is relevant. Ignore me if you think it isn't. I just have no desire to see my friends eat themselves up. At least I would have known I tried. Nothing I can do to force others to take my advice. Still, before you brush me off, hear me. Judge on your own.
It is OK to fail. To be lonely. To be afraid. To want to run away. Its fine to question yourself. To make mistakes. To regret what you did. Or did not do. Go ahead. Mope. You earned it. Cry. You need it. Complain. You are entitled to it. I'm your friend. Your senior. Or junior. I'll be there if you need me. Give me a call. Sms. Write a letter. An email. Anything. JUST TELL ME. I cannot be there if there is no location. I cannot save you if you refuse me. I am not God. I cannot work miracles. All I can do is give you a respite. I can accompany you. I can entertain you. Ask and you will receive. I give you my all.
Flaming is stupid. It reeks of immaturity. Stems from jealousy. Stop denying it. There are things about the person you flame that you admire. It just so happens that there are other qualities that you do not like in that package. I am not one to join in the fun. Flaming should be left to people who operate military flamethrowers, and my darling 紅麗, NOT normal everyday people. YES. You are a NORMAL PERSON. I don't care if you are a scholar, cosplayer, dancer, rocket scientist, web designer or compulsive gambler. You need food, water and sleep. So you are NORMAL. To those who tell me they do not need sleep, my response is this. Can you function WELL without sleep? Play basketball. Do Math. Draw. Listen to music... Can you do these without sleep for a month? The answer is NO. You can function with little sleep. NOT NO SLEEP. Criteria for normality fulfilled. So stop being a fool. You can comment. Do it conducively. Thats the key word. Conducive. Those who do not shall be banished to Hell by order of ME.
Another thing. If you have like someone, tell them! Or bear it in silence. All's fair in love and war, so if you don't stake your claim, stop behaving like a spoilt brat when some other guy/girl goes out with them. Its first-come-first-served. No such thing as "I-was-eye-candying-him-since-last-year." Pfft! Too bad, its this year NOW. Make a move, or join the hundred other or so other girls who are eye-candying him too. Some may think I'm exceedingly forward. So? At least I get a response. If he doesn't like me, at least now I know. Instead of torturing my friends with woeful tales when I see him with another girl on Facebook, Friendster or in the streets. For those who want to wait for the other party to make the first move, pity our ears and reduce your moaning and wailing. No one has died. Yet. I'd much rather listen to Gackt, thank you very much. So guys out there, please, PLEASE hurry up. Pity our ears yeah? I'm sorry, but society still encourages men to make the first move.
Finally. Off my shoulders. Kaen, have you signed up for Japanese????
"The words for this feeling... Can't be found out... can't be discovered... I can't say anything but...I want to... gaze at you like this... Forever..."
Thursday, 19 February 2009
Prepare
Playlist
D 気持 by 真田弦一朗
Haha. My Japanese has definitely improved. Learning a language on your own is really difficult. So I'm glad I gave up dance for Japanese. I really miss dancing, but Japanese... There is this sense of satisfaction from being able to read and write a new language. It is as if all the things that were encrypted and hidden from you were suddenly revealed. Obviously, I have yet to become so proficient that I can claim to be able to read Japanese text. Still, the ability to understand simple sentences gives me the motivation to continue lessons. Yeah, I'm really tired after sitting at the computer all day trawling for quotes. Yes, I still have many other things on my plate. Yes, I'll have to go back to school. But at the end of it all, its all worth it. The ability to type 私は雪野です makes me happy. A bit of a circular argument no? Haha. I am not trying to become a linguist, nor do I want to move to Japan. Rather, it just makes another part of the world more accessible to me. Furthermore, I have a slight advantage in that I do take Chinese. Make the most of it no?
I feel like cutting my hair. To me, its not long enough, but I'm tired of seeing the same hairstyle everyday. I mean, rebonded hair is way easier to manage than my natural hair... Which is precisely why I am getting bored of it. It looks the same nine out of ten days. Yes, predictability is good and stable. However, sometimes, what I want is something more. I don't think I'll spike my hair like Dragon-ball and all that, but I'm limited by what I can do. Its rebonded so any kink in it is permanent. At least until I rebond it ALL all over again. Which I do not do. I just rebond the roots. Firstly, it looks more natural. Secondly, its slightly cheaper. Thirdly, and most importantly of all, I minimise the chemical damage that I do to my hair. On the topic of hair, I'll be going out with Naoki for hair treatment on 28th Feb. We'll be meeting in Kovan. We have no idea what salons are there but what the heck. We'll just blunder our way around. That's part of the fun of going out with friends.
I have been considering my career options. Evidently, I won't be working as an engineer nor researcher. All Science-type fields are out as I'm an Arts student. Through and through. Would not pick the Sciences again even if I was given another shot. I was thinking of applying to Law. Second choice is Arts and Social Sciences. Maybe USP if my grades are excellent. That sort of thing. Yet, I do not think I'll be a lawyer for long. Yes, the pay is amazing, which is supplemented by the equally astounding long work hours and workload. Zero error tolerance for a career is scary~ In truth, I have an interest in fashion. Not as a designer, all you creative types can rest assured, but as a shopper. Or a marketer. Someone who decides what to bring into the store. Into the country. That sort of thing. Or to conceptualize the brand. The shop. Stuff like that is MY kind of thing. I know that these positions are far and few between, and that the people they hire are pretty much from their networks. Regardless, I want to try. I may be wasting my time. Its alright. What matters is that I can face myself the next day without regretting what I did not do.
"Only a life without regrets is worth living."
D 気持 by 真田弦一朗
Haha. My Japanese has definitely improved. Learning a language on your own is really difficult. So I'm glad I gave up dance for Japanese. I really miss dancing, but Japanese... There is this sense of satisfaction from being able to read and write a new language. It is as if all the things that were encrypted and hidden from you were suddenly revealed. Obviously, I have yet to become so proficient that I can claim to be able to read Japanese text. Still, the ability to understand simple sentences gives me the motivation to continue lessons. Yeah, I'm really tired after sitting at the computer all day trawling for quotes. Yes, I still have many other things on my plate. Yes, I'll have to go back to school. But at the end of it all, its all worth it. The ability to type 私は雪野です makes me happy. A bit of a circular argument no? Haha. I am not trying to become a linguist, nor do I want to move to Japan. Rather, it just makes another part of the world more accessible to me. Furthermore, I have a slight advantage in that I do take Chinese. Make the most of it no?
I feel like cutting my hair. To me, its not long enough, but I'm tired of seeing the same hairstyle everyday. I mean, rebonded hair is way easier to manage than my natural hair... Which is precisely why I am getting bored of it. It looks the same nine out of ten days. Yes, predictability is good and stable. However, sometimes, what I want is something more. I don't think I'll spike my hair like Dragon-ball and all that, but I'm limited by what I can do. Its rebonded so any kink in it is permanent. At least until I rebond it ALL all over again. Which I do not do. I just rebond the roots. Firstly, it looks more natural. Secondly, its slightly cheaper. Thirdly, and most importantly of all, I minimise the chemical damage that I do to my hair. On the topic of hair, I'll be going out with Naoki for hair treatment on 28th Feb. We'll be meeting in Kovan. We have no idea what salons are there but what the heck. We'll just blunder our way around. That's part of the fun of going out with friends.
I have been considering my career options. Evidently, I won't be working as an engineer nor researcher. All Science-type fields are out as I'm an Arts student. Through and through. Would not pick the Sciences again even if I was given another shot. I was thinking of applying to Law. Second choice is Arts and Social Sciences. Maybe USP if my grades are excellent. That sort of thing. Yet, I do not think I'll be a lawyer for long. Yes, the pay is amazing, which is supplemented by the equally astounding long work hours and workload. Zero error tolerance for a career is scary~ In truth, I have an interest in fashion. Not as a designer, all you creative types can rest assured, but as a shopper. Or a marketer. Someone who decides what to bring into the store. Into the country. That sort of thing. Or to conceptualize the brand. The shop. Stuff like that is MY kind of thing. I know that these positions are far and few between, and that the people they hire are pretty much from their networks. Regardless, I want to try. I may be wasting my time. Its alright. What matters is that I can face myself the next day without regretting what I did not do.
"Only a life without regrets is worth living."
Monday, 16 February 2009
Kaen
Playlist
ALARM by Namie Amuro
I am so glad I do not torture my friends by making them read teensy weeny fonts. I am referring to SOME people who seem to be writing for ants to read. HELLO? This auntie has bad eyesight. Can enlarge it? Its not that I don't care about you, its that I don't care to worsen my myopic degree. Please? I promise I'll read your blog whenever I can.
The past two days were... Let us just say that it was marked by me being reprimanded. On Saturday, I woke up all bright and early at 630am to go to work. An event where I needed to prepare stuff. Music. Attendance taking. Reminds me of AVA. Bad. Boring. Anyhow, I soon left to look for my tailor, located all the way at Boon Lay. I've been to her place 3 days in a row. First day was Thursday to pass her my costume to alter. Next day was Friday, where I realised it was a disaster after alteration as she cut off too much cloth. So I had to go find her, again on Saturday. I was in a bad mood on Saturday. Not only do I have to work, which means I have to wake up early, it was also boring. I missed my secondary school fiesta because of work. Had wanted to go to the NTU talk. Not allowed to on the grounds that I was hardly at home as it was already. It was Valentine's Day and no one even wished me. Best part? I waited near 45 minutes for the tailor. I was not happy. And then... I saw Kaen. More later. So I went home. Studied Japanese. Napped. Went to Pek Kio CC. Oh yeah, I'm signing up for a Sally Hansen nail care course. Anyone interested to join me? Sunday... The ususal. Wake up. Breakfast with family. House cleaning. I went out with Hifi and Vivi in the afternoon. Suntec. Again. We had Crystal Jade Ramen and Xiaolongbao. It was NICE. Maybe its as I miss eating Chinese cuisine. I have been eating random bits of food. I have yet to have a proper sit down meal since... A while. I'm often eating leftovers or hawker food. Meals at my grandma's place are also hurried affairs. Sigh. Time is so limited. I had Marvelous Cream again after lunch with them. This time it was strawberry. I'll upload the pics soon. Maybe end of the week. Ok. Its not that sson. Or maybe only when I go there for my shoot. I'm lazy. And lacking a laptop. Disgruntled people can sponsor a lappie or donate to my lappie fund. And bam! Monday at work. Again.
Kaen's my best friend. Something I just realised... About half a year ago. Previously, I was one of those who felt that best friends existed in cheesy books and movies and were there to delude the human race. I mean, I have good friends but best friends? How could a person have a best friend? What criteria does he/she need to meet to be best? Turns out that its not the amazing ability to understand the other person. Believe me, she lacks that. Its not having similar tastes and interests, because we differ. I mean you can say we both like anime and manga and seiyuus... But thats like saying two people like fruits. Person A may HATE durian while Person B is a durian connoisseur. I suppose its the fact that you can forgive the other person. You can accept the other person, regardless of how silly, rude, blunt, whiney, volatile, violent, fickle-minded... You know what to say, and what not to say, and what has to be said. Importantly, you know what does not need to be said. The phrase best friend was something we never used to refer to each other... Until that day.
The first phrase was : Our friendship pales in comparison to our ez-link cards. (Ok. Not exactly what she said, but... Yeah. The essence.)
Next was: I cant believe my best friend says I'm not allowed into her house as she doesnt want me to take away the posters that I GAVE HER. (I laughed, although I was stunned by the best friend comment.)
It really made me start thinking, and I guess my subconcious was aware of her new status way before I was concious of it as three weeks later, it was my turn to rant...
"I cant believe my best friend told me not to call her if I'm drunk as she says I'm freaky enough when I'm normal!"
And thus. It stuck. I mean, we should have been aware of the signs. Like, the looong phone calls. Constant sms-es to each other. Going to the same events. Dragging each other in and out of teams. Listening to virtually everything recommended by the other person. Not being able to be really upset with each other. Meeting up at least once a week. Brothers with the same name. Posts and notes online that refer to each other. Too many insider secrets. Cosplaying a yaoi couple with no difficulty working with each other. The list extends... I can't hold on to my grouchiness when I see her. Especially when she comes with three balloons. On Valentines Day. One from Melo. One with Kurei's name on it *internal fangirl scream*. And one with the JunJou Egoist pairing on it. I could feel my mouth curving up. She looked at me and didn't ask me what was wrong. Just went straight to cheering me up by telling me happy stuff. I think she did not even know what she's doing. Whacked me with the balloon. And I just grinned in happiness. Somehow, it seems as if we now use 'seme' and 'uke' as a not-accurate Japanese replacement of the word 'best friend'. Think "How can I abandon my seme?" or " I know because its my uke." Conveniently swop the words and VOILA. There you have it.
To those who think I'm lesbian.... Hurhurhur. You do not know me at all. Not that its any skin off my back *shrugs*
"No matter how much we hurt each other... If it's you I'm okay"
Ok. This sounds seriously wrong. Hey, its from Gackt. I didnt think of it on my own...
ALARM by Namie Amuro
I am so glad I do not torture my friends by making them read teensy weeny fonts. I am referring to SOME people who seem to be writing for ants to read. HELLO? This auntie has bad eyesight. Can enlarge it? Its not that I don't care about you, its that I don't care to worsen my myopic degree. Please? I promise I'll read your blog whenever I can.
The past two days were... Let us just say that it was marked by me being reprimanded. On Saturday, I woke up all bright and early at 630am to go to work. An event where I needed to prepare stuff. Music. Attendance taking. Reminds me of AVA. Bad. Boring. Anyhow, I soon left to look for my tailor, located all the way at Boon Lay. I've been to her place 3 days in a row. First day was Thursday to pass her my costume to alter. Next day was Friday, where I realised it was a disaster after alteration as she cut off too much cloth. So I had to go find her, again on Saturday. I was in a bad mood on Saturday. Not only do I have to work, which means I have to wake up early, it was also boring. I missed my secondary school fiesta because of work. Had wanted to go to the NTU talk. Not allowed to on the grounds that I was hardly at home as it was already. It was Valentine's Day and no one even wished me. Best part? I waited near 45 minutes for the tailor. I was not happy. And then... I saw Kaen. More later. So I went home. Studied Japanese. Napped. Went to Pek Kio CC. Oh yeah, I'm signing up for a Sally Hansen nail care course. Anyone interested to join me? Sunday... The ususal. Wake up. Breakfast with family. House cleaning. I went out with Hifi and Vivi in the afternoon. Suntec. Again. We had Crystal Jade Ramen and Xiaolongbao. It was NICE. Maybe its as I miss eating Chinese cuisine. I have been eating random bits of food. I have yet to have a proper sit down meal since... A while. I'm often eating leftovers or hawker food. Meals at my grandma's place are also hurried affairs. Sigh. Time is so limited. I had Marvelous Cream again after lunch with them. This time it was strawberry. I'll upload the pics soon. Maybe end of the week. Ok. Its not that sson. Or maybe only when I go there for my shoot. I'm lazy. And lacking a laptop. Disgruntled people can sponsor a lappie or donate to my lappie fund. And bam! Monday at work. Again.
Kaen's my best friend. Something I just realised... About half a year ago. Previously, I was one of those who felt that best friends existed in cheesy books and movies and were there to delude the human race. I mean, I have good friends but best friends? How could a person have a best friend? What criteria does he/she need to meet to be best? Turns out that its not the amazing ability to understand the other person. Believe me, she lacks that. Its not having similar tastes and interests, because we differ. I mean you can say we both like anime and manga and seiyuus... But thats like saying two people like fruits. Person A may HATE durian while Person B is a durian connoisseur. I suppose its the fact that you can forgive the other person. You can accept the other person, regardless of how silly, rude, blunt, whiney, volatile, violent, fickle-minded... You know what to say, and what not to say, and what has to be said. Importantly, you know what does not need to be said. The phrase best friend was something we never used to refer to each other... Until that day.
The first phrase was : Our friendship pales in comparison to our ez-link cards. (Ok. Not exactly what she said, but... Yeah. The essence.)
Next was: I cant believe my best friend says I'm not allowed into her house as she doesnt want me to take away the posters that I GAVE HER. (I laughed, although I was stunned by the best friend comment.)
It really made me start thinking, and I guess my subconcious was aware of her new status way before I was concious of it as three weeks later, it was my turn to rant...
"I cant believe my best friend told me not to call her if I'm drunk as she says I'm freaky enough when I'm normal!"
And thus. It stuck. I mean, we should have been aware of the signs. Like, the looong phone calls. Constant sms-es to each other. Going to the same events. Dragging each other in and out of teams. Listening to virtually everything recommended by the other person. Not being able to be really upset with each other. Meeting up at least once a week. Brothers with the same name. Posts and notes online that refer to each other. Too many insider secrets. Cosplaying a yaoi couple with no difficulty working with each other. The list extends... I can't hold on to my grouchiness when I see her. Especially when she comes with three balloons. On Valentines Day. One from Melo. One with Kurei's name on it *internal fangirl scream*. And one with the JunJou Egoist pairing on it. I could feel my mouth curving up. She looked at me and didn't ask me what was wrong. Just went straight to cheering me up by telling me happy stuff. I think she did not even know what she's doing. Whacked me with the balloon. And I just grinned in happiness. Somehow, it seems as if we now use 'seme' and 'uke' as a not-accurate Japanese replacement of the word 'best friend'. Think "How can I abandon my seme?" or " I know because its my uke." Conveniently swop the words and VOILA. There you have it.
To those who think I'm lesbian.... Hurhurhur. You do not know me at all. Not that its any skin off my back *shrugs*
"No matter how much we hurt each other... If it's you I'm okay"
Ok. This sounds seriously wrong. Hey, its from Gackt. I didnt think of it on my own...
Friday, 13 February 2009
Miss
Playlist
Dear Prince ~Tennis No Oujisama~ by Ikumen Samurai
Valentine's Day is this Saturday. In the past, I used to be really enthusiastic about it. I mean, what is there not to like? Presents, an excuse to go out, speculating pairings for this year... I liked Valentine's Day, as commercialised as it is. And then... This year, I'm not exactly looking forward to it. In fact, I'd rather not have such a day on my calendar at all. I'm not jealous of lovebirds. Heck, no way. Its not that I broke up with my boyfriend. I'm SINGLE. I feel sad as I'm out of the official school system. I am no longer surrounded by friends who will shower me with love, laughter, attention. No more joking around. No more of being a busybody and gossiping about the relationships of others. Instead, I'll be... Studying Japanese? My driving theory test? Packing my room? Studying for SAT if my results are terrible? I would love to go out with my friends, but they are either going out with other people, namely their other half, overseas, or grounded at home. So I am too. Maybe I should go to the library. Read something for fun. Think trashy books with no plot and poor organisation. I read books like that for fun. Think of it as an advanced level of zero tolerance testing. You get a headache from correcting and improving romance novels. If I told you that reading bodice rippers give me a headache, I think you'll laugh. Duh. Anyone who thinks editing books is easy should try it some time. Even children books will torture your brain cells, not to mention cheesy chick lit. You have been warned.
I think mosquitoes are THE bane of my existence in tropical Singapore. They are everywhere that is not air-conditioned. My house. The bus stop. The food court. The hawker centre. Everywhere that I go, I see them. They buzz around me in the middle of the night and the high pitch screeching is awful. The land on all surfaces, all bloatred with blood, most probably mine. An eyesore. First thing in the morning, you do not want to see bloated mosquitoes. Ech.
I'll be retaking my SATs in May. Yes, the scores are out. Atrocious. It was much worse than expected. Some of my friends told me that my score is high for my first attempt. Honestly, I do not think it is a matter of which attempt. Rather, it is that I put in a decent amount of effort, and received such awful grades. I am satisfied with my critical Reading score, but my Math and Writing score, especially Writing score... Terrible. I shall improve. Yes I shall. Sigh. need to hit the books again.
So, on my to do list...
1) Study for Advanced Theory Test
2) Study for upcoming Japanese test
2) Study for SAT.
4) Go for driving lessons.
5) Finish up Dorothea.
6) Start on Lulubell.
7) JunJou photoshoot... Events...
Last, but definitely not the least...
8) Work.
Yeah. So many things to do, so little time...
"In my heart I know that the pain will not last much longer..."
Dear Prince ~Tennis No Oujisama~ by Ikumen Samurai
Valentine's Day is this Saturday. In the past, I used to be really enthusiastic about it. I mean, what is there not to like? Presents, an excuse to go out, speculating pairings for this year... I liked Valentine's Day, as commercialised as it is. And then... This year, I'm not exactly looking forward to it. In fact, I'd rather not have such a day on my calendar at all. I'm not jealous of lovebirds. Heck, no way. Its not that I broke up with my boyfriend. I'm SINGLE. I feel sad as I'm out of the official school system. I am no longer surrounded by friends who will shower me with love, laughter, attention. No more joking around. No more of being a busybody and gossiping about the relationships of others. Instead, I'll be... Studying Japanese? My driving theory test? Packing my room? Studying for SAT if my results are terrible? I would love to go out with my friends, but they are either going out with other people, namely their other half, overseas, or grounded at home. So I am too. Maybe I should go to the library. Read something for fun. Think trashy books with no plot and poor organisation. I read books like that for fun. Think of it as an advanced level of zero tolerance testing. You get a headache from correcting and improving romance novels. If I told you that reading bodice rippers give me a headache, I think you'll laugh. Duh. Anyone who thinks editing books is easy should try it some time. Even children books will torture your brain cells, not to mention cheesy chick lit. You have been warned.
I think mosquitoes are THE bane of my existence in tropical Singapore. They are everywhere that is not air-conditioned. My house. The bus stop. The food court. The hawker centre. Everywhere that I go, I see them. They buzz around me in the middle of the night and the high pitch screeching is awful. The land on all surfaces, all bloatred with blood, most probably mine. An eyesore. First thing in the morning, you do not want to see bloated mosquitoes. Ech.
I'll be retaking my SATs in May. Yes, the scores are out. Atrocious. It was much worse than expected. Some of my friends told me that my score is high for my first attempt. Honestly, I do not think it is a matter of which attempt. Rather, it is that I put in a decent amount of effort, and received such awful grades. I am satisfied with my critical Reading score, but my Math and Writing score, especially Writing score... Terrible. I shall improve. Yes I shall. Sigh. need to hit the books again.
So, on my to do list...
1) Study for Advanced Theory Test
2) Study for upcoming Japanese test
2) Study for SAT.
4) Go for driving lessons.
5) Finish up Dorothea.
6) Start on Lulubell.
7) JunJou photoshoot... Events...
Last, but definitely not the least...
8) Work.
Yeah. So many things to do, so little time...
"In my heart I know that the pain will not last much longer..."
Wednesday, 11 February 2009
Call
Playlist
Cage by Dir En Grey
The colours are all there. Yellow. Lots of blue. A few purples. Quite a lot of blue. Barely any green. Some grey. One orange. The rest is white. I assure you. I'm feeling blue at the sight of all the blue. Why can't I get more greens? Sheesh. Stop rejecting me! At this rate... I'll most probably be wasting my Saturday! Yes! On Saturday, I'll be meeting a whole bunch of babies. My whole morning is gone. Because of them. I could sleep in. Go out. Slack at home. Revise Japanese. Study for my final driving theory test... But no. I have to babysit and herd them around. Goodness gracious me. What a WONDERFUL way to spend my time. Ok. Maybe things could be worse. Maybe I would have to do this TWICE. Wait. I'm even missing part of my lunch to go through the details so that the event is perfect. Yo punks had better show up! Otherwise, I'll remember you name kill you when I see you walking around campus later this year!
Why is hyde so quiet this year... As in, there has been nothing from VAMPS, and on his own, for quite a while. Yes, I know creative juices are often very sluggish, but now with Laruku on hiatus, he should have less to do. I think. Unless he is still on tour somewhere in Japan? He does have his family to take care of... I wonder what his life is like. I always wonder how those in the entertainment industry live. No real privacy. Its a 24/7 job. There are expectations from everyone and anyone. You have to be careful of everything you ay and do... What a starnge life that must be. Or if you had famour parents. As weird, if not more so, as you never chose the attention. You were born with it... What does the world seem like to them I wonder.
I'm hungry. I'm often hungry at work especially. At 1130 AM. It lasts for about an hour, before my hunger pangs go away as my body numbs it. So if I miss a meal, I can still function, although I often complain so much that I'm fed. I can go on like that for up to 8 hours. If I don't eat anything for more than that, my hunger pangs are so bad I keel over in pain. I'm serious. It hurts and hurts. I can't stand up straight, and I just bunch into this little ball. Its not a throbbing pain, but a sharp pain that persists. Unbearable. So I need to be fed. I sound like some plant or animal that needs regular meals.
My SAT results will be out in the evening tomorrow. I feel like dropping by my tailor to alter the dress. Give myself something to do other than refreshing the College Board website to see if my results are out. In real life, my name is near the end of the alphabet, so I often have to wait ages before I get my result slip. The suspense is awful. Its so unfair that you see others screaming in joy, or crying, or even going crazy while you still wait in line. Terrible. Online is fair to everyone. Unless the server has a problem. Which I shall pray does not occur tomorrow. We should have instant marking. like in the driving theory test. A huge PASS or FAIL immedistely shows up upon submission of your answers. It can be crushing, but at least you do not have to wait in agony.
Still calling my babies...
"I realized the things I was praying for were transient... I cannot do anything for you..."
Cage by Dir En Grey
The colours are all there. Yellow. Lots of blue. A few purples. Quite a lot of blue. Barely any green. Some grey. One orange. The rest is white. I assure you. I'm feeling blue at the sight of all the blue. Why can't I get more greens? Sheesh. Stop rejecting me! At this rate... I'll most probably be wasting my Saturday! Yes! On Saturday, I'll be meeting a whole bunch of babies. My whole morning is gone. Because of them. I could sleep in. Go out. Slack at home. Revise Japanese. Study for my final driving theory test... But no. I have to babysit and herd them around. Goodness gracious me. What a WONDERFUL way to spend my time. Ok. Maybe things could be worse. Maybe I would have to do this TWICE. Wait. I'm even missing part of my lunch to go through the details so that the event is perfect. Yo punks had better show up! Otherwise, I'll remember you name kill you when I see you walking around campus later this year!
Why is hyde so quiet this year... As in, there has been nothing from VAMPS, and on his own, for quite a while. Yes, I know creative juices are often very sluggish, but now with Laruku on hiatus, he should have less to do. I think. Unless he is still on tour somewhere in Japan? He does have his family to take care of... I wonder what his life is like. I always wonder how those in the entertainment industry live. No real privacy. Its a 24/7 job. There are expectations from everyone and anyone. You have to be careful of everything you ay and do... What a starnge life that must be. Or if you had famour parents. As weird, if not more so, as you never chose the attention. You were born with it... What does the world seem like to them I wonder.
I'm hungry. I'm often hungry at work especially. At 1130 AM. It lasts for about an hour, before my hunger pangs go away as my body numbs it. So if I miss a meal, I can still function, although I often complain so much that I'm fed. I can go on like that for up to 8 hours. If I don't eat anything for more than that, my hunger pangs are so bad I keel over in pain. I'm serious. It hurts and hurts. I can't stand up straight, and I just bunch into this little ball. Its not a throbbing pain, but a sharp pain that persists. Unbearable. So I need to be fed. I sound like some plant or animal that needs regular meals.
My SAT results will be out in the evening tomorrow. I feel like dropping by my tailor to alter the dress. Give myself something to do other than refreshing the College Board website to see if my results are out. In real life, my name is near the end of the alphabet, so I often have to wait ages before I get my result slip. The suspense is awful. Its so unfair that you see others screaming in joy, or crying, or even going crazy while you still wait in line. Terrible. Online is fair to everyone. Unless the server has a problem. Which I shall pray does not occur tomorrow. We should have instant marking. like in the driving theory test. A huge PASS or FAIL immedistely shows up upon submission of your answers. It can be crushing, but at least you do not have to wait in agony.
Still calling my babies...
"I realized the things I was praying for were transient... I cannot do anything for you..."
Tuesday, 10 February 2009
Crystallise
Playlist
Crystallise by Suwabe Junichi
I like Crystallise. Its a little sad. Melancholic. Soothing. Perfect for putting tired me to sleep on the bus. Yes. I do sleep on the bus. I am well aware that it is not as safe as sleeping at home. Obviously. Still, I'm tired. Too tired to care. And I'm only napping. I have never missed my stop. Ever. Like I said, only napping. Why do I even nap in the first place? Well, some people wake up at 3 AM in the morning and just cannot go back to sleep. For the life of me, I have absolutely no idea why. I am more than tired. I'm exhausted. After work, Japanese class, worrying about SAT and A Level results, arranging dates with my tailor and studying for my driving Advanced Theory Test on transport... I should sleep until dawn. I should. We should live happily after. We usually don't. Maybe its due to the mosquito bites. Maybe my body clock is screwed. I don't know for sure. In any case, it has put me into a seriously bad mood. Don't say I did not warn you. This gal needs sleep to smile.
I miss MBA. I miss Celine. And Jason. And Richard. And Edwin. And Angelyn. And April's infrequent visits. I miss SDU too. And the Finance people. The whole office is quirky. Falling bits of black stuff from the air-con. The printing machine that can never seem to print documents straight. Surrounded by a sea of green paper. Everything had its own character. It was amazing. Cosy. And fun:) I miss lunch with the team. I am not a solo lunch kind of person. The last time I had lunch on my own was in secondary school. And yesterday. It was awful. I never want to repeat the experience, but... Yeah. Solo lunch will be status quo from now on. All because of some idiot. DAMN YOU. Its my fault. I gave in. Sigh.
Went out with both the JunJou Team and DGray Team. It was. Well. Uneventful to say the least. For JunJou, we brainstormed a bit. Talked a bit. Crapped a lot. Yeah. There was laughter all around, but it was at a rather superficial level. And there was the imposing presence of dissent. I won't go into details, as there are now FAR too many related people reading my blog... I just want to say I like everyone who went. And that I would love to work with everyone again. Like I said, if you want me, I'd gladly stay. Oh! The highlight was the food. NOT Macs! Marvelous Cream! The super high class ice cream shop at the link between SUNTEC and Raffles Place. Heavenly. Sinful. I had the ready made flavour. Not familiar enough to experiment. It was delicious. The Japanese sure know how to package their wares. After all, its ice cream. Did not originate in Japan. As we all know. Yet, I had much rather have Marvelous Cream than Ben &Jerry's. Maybe I just don't like cows. Or maybe I enjoyed the experience at Marvelous Cream much more than B&J. The name is apt. It was marvelous. Lacking in originality, but what the heck.
Dgray was. Urgh. One word. One sound rather. It was the arcade. And bowling. The usual. Like every other outing. The fun part was having dinner with Tsukihami, Rinya (yes, thanks for poking me) and Karei. We talked. And ate. Rather, Karei and Tsukihami ate while Rinya and I had a drink each. I was not that hungry enough to spend MORE money after the $26 that was extorted from me at Sakura International in town. I will never have a single meal there ever again. I assure you, I had much rather go Lei Garden, conveniently located upstairs, than Sakura again. It might even be cheaper. And there would be service. Having twenty people, the team, move from locale to locale was... Interesting. Like watching Bya, Kai and whoever there was to herd the whole bunch of us. Honestly, I have the sheepdog instinct instead of the sheep instinct. Though on Sunday, I just could not be bothered. Leftover displeasure from yesterday night resulted in an uncooperative team member. Not that anyone really noticed as I'm often more cooperative than most in their most cooperative state even when I'm being uncooperative. Raise your hand, those of you who had to read my previous sentence twice to understand. Haha. I love languages. The ability to utterly confuse and clarify. All of it depends on a few squiggles.
I shall adjourn to call returning babies...
"The wavering colors float in front of my eyes and disappear... Even if I close my eyes right now, I can't go back there again..."
Crystallise by Suwabe Junichi
I like Crystallise. Its a little sad. Melancholic. Soothing. Perfect for putting tired me to sleep on the bus. Yes. I do sleep on the bus. I am well aware that it is not as safe as sleeping at home. Obviously. Still, I'm tired. Too tired to care. And I'm only napping. I have never missed my stop. Ever. Like I said, only napping. Why do I even nap in the first place? Well, some people wake up at 3 AM in the morning and just cannot go back to sleep. For the life of me, I have absolutely no idea why. I am more than tired. I'm exhausted. After work, Japanese class, worrying about SAT and A Level results, arranging dates with my tailor and studying for my driving Advanced Theory Test on transport... I should sleep until dawn. I should. We should live happily after. We usually don't. Maybe its due to the mosquito bites. Maybe my body clock is screwed. I don't know for sure. In any case, it has put me into a seriously bad mood. Don't say I did not warn you. This gal needs sleep to smile.
I miss MBA. I miss Celine. And Jason. And Richard. And Edwin. And Angelyn. And April's infrequent visits. I miss SDU too. And the Finance people. The whole office is quirky. Falling bits of black stuff from the air-con. The printing machine that can never seem to print documents straight. Surrounded by a sea of green paper. Everything had its own character. It was amazing. Cosy. And fun:) I miss lunch with the team. I am not a solo lunch kind of person. The last time I had lunch on my own was in secondary school. And yesterday. It was awful. I never want to repeat the experience, but... Yeah. Solo lunch will be status quo from now on. All because of some idiot. DAMN YOU. Its my fault. I gave in. Sigh.
Went out with both the JunJou Team and DGray Team. It was. Well. Uneventful to say the least. For JunJou, we brainstormed a bit. Talked a bit. Crapped a lot. Yeah. There was laughter all around, but it was at a rather superficial level. And there was the imposing presence of dissent. I won't go into details, as there are now FAR too many related people reading my blog... I just want to say I like everyone who went. And that I would love to work with everyone again. Like I said, if you want me, I'd gladly stay. Oh! The highlight was the food. NOT Macs! Marvelous Cream! The super high class ice cream shop at the link between SUNTEC and Raffles Place. Heavenly. Sinful. I had the ready made flavour. Not familiar enough to experiment. It was delicious. The Japanese sure know how to package their wares. After all, its ice cream. Did not originate in Japan. As we all know. Yet, I had much rather have Marvelous Cream than Ben &Jerry's. Maybe I just don't like cows. Or maybe I enjoyed the experience at Marvelous Cream much more than B&J. The name is apt. It was marvelous. Lacking in originality, but what the heck.
Dgray was. Urgh. One word. One sound rather. It was the arcade. And bowling. The usual. Like every other outing. The fun part was having dinner with Tsukihami, Rinya (yes, thanks for poking me) and Karei. We talked. And ate. Rather, Karei and Tsukihami ate while Rinya and I had a drink each. I was not that hungry enough to spend MORE money after the $26 that was extorted from me at Sakura International in town. I will never have a single meal there ever again. I assure you, I had much rather go Lei Garden, conveniently located upstairs, than Sakura again. It might even be cheaper. And there would be service. Having twenty people, the team, move from locale to locale was... Interesting. Like watching Bya, Kai and whoever there was to herd the whole bunch of us. Honestly, I have the sheepdog instinct instead of the sheep instinct. Though on Sunday, I just could not be bothered. Leftover displeasure from yesterday night resulted in an uncooperative team member. Not that anyone really noticed as I'm often more cooperative than most in their most cooperative state even when I'm being uncooperative. Raise your hand, those of you who had to read my previous sentence twice to understand. Haha. I love languages. The ability to utterly confuse and clarify. All of it depends on a few squiggles.
I shall adjourn to call returning babies...
"The wavering colors float in front of my eyes and disappear... Even if I close my eyes right now, I can't go back there again..."
Saturday, 7 February 2009
Dad
Playlist
The fan in my brother's room
I do not drive. Which is why I am learning how to drive. I do not think I am smart. Which is why I try and read proper books and articles. I do not think I know a lot. Which is why I am willing to learn, to ask. I do not think I am anything special. Which is why I do my best. I am flawed. I am sometimes a hypocrite. I am not always nice. I am not always assertive. I do not know what I want. I do not know what I can do. I am lost. I am paranoid. I lack self-esteem. I KNOW IT IS A PROBLEM.
The people you love the most hurt you the most. And it is often under the pretense of them loving you. They say things that hurt you, because it is not true. It hurts, because they did not clarify things and foolishly jump to conclusions. It hurts, because you were betrayed of your trust. Which is why I will never let myself love anyone. I will not let myself fall in love with anyone. I am not a masochist. I will not sign a contract to hurt myself.
I think God is a witness. He should not interfere.
I do not want you to interfere. YOU SAID YOU WOULD NOT INTERFERE. You did. You always do. You determine what I do. Not directly. You'll be snide, and mean, and insulting. You'll poke and prod and complain. You'll cold-shoulder me. I love you, so I'll do what you want me to do. I know I should listen to myself, but I love you. So I give it all up for you. I regret it, but I never tell it to you. I don't want you to feel guilty. If you ever do. I want you to be proud of me. I want you to love me the way I love you. Sometimes, I hate you for what you've turned me into. I hate you for what you've turned my world into. In spite of all this... I still love you. I really do. Thats why it hurts so much... Thats why I always cry. You say I'm weak. You say I'm a crybaby. Don't you know, its only if its things that are related to you?!
"Go ahead and break my heart. I gave it to you anyway."
The fan in my brother's room
I do not drive. Which is why I am learning how to drive. I do not think I am smart. Which is why I try and read proper books and articles. I do not think I know a lot. Which is why I am willing to learn, to ask. I do not think I am anything special. Which is why I do my best. I am flawed. I am sometimes a hypocrite. I am not always nice. I am not always assertive. I do not know what I want. I do not know what I can do. I am lost. I am paranoid. I lack self-esteem. I KNOW IT IS A PROBLEM.
The people you love the most hurt you the most. And it is often under the pretense of them loving you. They say things that hurt you, because it is not true. It hurts, because they did not clarify things and foolishly jump to conclusions. It hurts, because you were betrayed of your trust. Which is why I will never let myself love anyone. I will not let myself fall in love with anyone. I am not a masochist. I will not sign a contract to hurt myself.
I think God is a witness. He should not interfere.
I do not want you to interfere. YOU SAID YOU WOULD NOT INTERFERE. You did. You always do. You determine what I do. Not directly. You'll be snide, and mean, and insulting. You'll poke and prod and complain. You'll cold-shoulder me. I love you, so I'll do what you want me to do. I know I should listen to myself, but I love you. So I give it all up for you. I regret it, but I never tell it to you. I don't want you to feel guilty. If you ever do. I want you to be proud of me. I want you to love me the way I love you. Sometimes, I hate you for what you've turned me into. I hate you for what you've turned my world into. In spite of all this... I still love you. I really do. Thats why it hurts so much... Thats why I always cry. You say I'm weak. You say I'm a crybaby. Don't you know, its only if its things that are related to you?!
"Go ahead and break my heart. I gave it to you anyway."
Thursday, 5 February 2009
Breeze
Playlist
Sabishii Nettaigyo by Sanada Genichirou and Tezuka Kunimitsu
Check this out. It measures how colour or hue blind you are. The higher the score, the less sensitive you are to the little changes in the exact hue or tone of the colour. I did it, and I got a score of zero! Can you believe it? Ok. I have always known that I'm pretty observant and sensory aware. Still, I did not expect to get a perfect score. Woohoo! This is likely to influence my career decision. Yeah, its only a test. An online test at that. Regardless, I think its the little things like this that changes your direction in life.
I feel fat. I look fat. Well, at least to me. And there is no way I can go on a diet within the next few days. After all, its my last day at work tomorrow, and there's going to be a Chinese New Year lunch. I mean, I'm not the type to tell others "Hey, I'm on a diet. Can you give me veggies instead?" Yes, I'll avoid carbohydrates and fats, but other than that... Not very likely. SRF is having an outing on Sunday as well, a buffet at Sakura, which makes a diet... Not very possible yeah? Like I said, I'll definitely avoid the carbohydrates and fats, though I think it is not enough if I intend to lose sufficient weight for the next JunJou shoot. There is no way i am going to be a fat Nowaki. No freaking way.
I realised that my blog has pretty decent traffic. I suppose its as I'm one of the few crazy people who still blog. And whose blog is not locked. Yes. I know of the dangers, which is why I shall never reveal my real name nor any of my friend's real name on my blog. You can go ahead and speculate, but what you see may not be what I mean. You have been warned all ye who art paranoid. Oh. Still, I shall lock my blog soon. I shall not apologise to those who wish to read. You can jolly well email, private message, MSN, call, sms, meet me or write to me to request for my password. See? So many options. Yeah, if you're one of those lucky few, I'll send you the password via email. Or tell it to you. Or sms it to you. Whatever. If not? Too bad :) I shall no longer be nice and considerate for the sake of doing so.
I passed my driving Basic Theory Test! So I'll be applying for the Advanced Theory Test tomorrow morning. If time permits, I'll apply for my Provisional Driving License as well. This is as I've yet to find an instructor, and I am well aware of the fact that I only have 6 months to learn if I intend to keep costs low. I have to. I'm paying for it! There is a limit to the salary of a temporary staff. Anyway, I need to report for work, so if I'm likely to be late... I'll apply some other time. After all, I already have all the necessary documents with me all the time. man, I cannot wait to drive! Most people that I know say that the glamour will disappear soon. So while I'm still enthusiastic, I shall enjoy it. When the time comes that petrol, maintenance and ERP charges make me jaded, I shall remember the good times of naivete and innocence. Boy do I sound old. I so am not!
Having my period... My complexion is awful... How am I going to take photos tomorrow?
"You who I love too much is on the other side of the wall..."
Sabishii Nettaigyo by Sanada Genichirou and Tezuka Kunimitsu
Check this out. It measures how colour or hue blind you are. The higher the score, the less sensitive you are to the little changes in the exact hue or tone of the colour. I did it, and I got a score of zero! Can you believe it? Ok. I have always known that I'm pretty observant and sensory aware. Still, I did not expect to get a perfect score. Woohoo! This is likely to influence my career decision. Yeah, its only a test. An online test at that. Regardless, I think its the little things like this that changes your direction in life.
I feel fat. I look fat. Well, at least to me. And there is no way I can go on a diet within the next few days. After all, its my last day at work tomorrow, and there's going to be a Chinese New Year lunch. I mean, I'm not the type to tell others "Hey, I'm on a diet. Can you give me veggies instead?" Yes, I'll avoid carbohydrates and fats, but other than that... Not very likely. SRF is having an outing on Sunday as well, a buffet at Sakura, which makes a diet... Not very possible yeah? Like I said, I'll definitely avoid the carbohydrates and fats, though I think it is not enough if I intend to lose sufficient weight for the next JunJou shoot. There is no way i am going to be a fat Nowaki. No freaking way.
I realised that my blog has pretty decent traffic. I suppose its as I'm one of the few crazy people who still blog. And whose blog is not locked. Yes. I know of the dangers, which is why I shall never reveal my real name nor any of my friend's real name on my blog. You can go ahead and speculate, but what you see may not be what I mean. You have been warned all ye who art paranoid. Oh. Still, I shall lock my blog soon. I shall not apologise to those who wish to read. You can jolly well email, private message, MSN, call, sms, meet me or write to me to request for my password. See? So many options. Yeah, if you're one of those lucky few, I'll send you the password via email. Or tell it to you. Or sms it to you. Whatever. If not? Too bad :) I shall no longer be nice and considerate for the sake of doing so.
I passed my driving Basic Theory Test! So I'll be applying for the Advanced Theory Test tomorrow morning. If time permits, I'll apply for my Provisional Driving License as well. This is as I've yet to find an instructor, and I am well aware of the fact that I only have 6 months to learn if I intend to keep costs low. I have to. I'm paying for it! There is a limit to the salary of a temporary staff. Anyway, I need to report for work, so if I'm likely to be late... I'll apply some other time. After all, I already have all the necessary documents with me all the time. man, I cannot wait to drive! Most people that I know say that the glamour will disappear soon. So while I'm still enthusiastic, I shall enjoy it. When the time comes that petrol, maintenance and ERP charges make me jaded, I shall remember the good times of naivete and innocence. Boy do I sound old. I so am not!
Having my period... My complexion is awful... How am I going to take photos tomorrow?
"You who I love too much is on the other side of the wall..."
Wednesday, 4 February 2009
SOY
Playlist
Whatever that random song is on Jason's playlist...
Yes, I know this is late. I wanted to wait for the SOY photos to be uploaded before I type this. Why? Because I have no intention of typing down every single thing that ocurred. I'm just going to recount the behind-the-scenes stuff that no photographer could have captured. Yes, that word hangs in the air. I dare you to vocalise it in front of me. Can't? Too bad.
Waited for Kaen for 2 hours. At the MRT station. I went to Chinatown straight after work on Friday night to buy the stuff we need. Good thing too, as most of the shops were already clsoing at 630pm. Super early, but not unexpected. Only a handful of shops were open due to the post Chinese New Year break they were all on. Most of the shop owners were really nice to give me generous discounts. Guess they wanted to start the year on a good note. Either that or they already had a windfall from the New Year crowd. Haha. I shop, according to my mom, like a guy, so I was done at around 7pm. So I waited for my uke (HAHA) at Chinatown, and later at my home's bus stop. Killed time waiting for her to fly down with our costumes and her rifle from Kai. Helped a few tourists with their ez-link cards, push prams through the barrier, direct more tourists to the correct train... SBS Transit ought to pay me.
We reached my grandma's place around 9pm. Yes. I had dinner at 9pm when my lunch for that day was... 1pm. I'm astonished that I did not faint or anything. Kaen looked... hilariously like an oba-san. What with the enormous Daiso bag and her bag and the rifle in the cardboard and her looking tired... I laughed hysterically when I saw her. Come on, I was tired too. Though I killed some more time mugging for my driving test...
At home, we started by slacking around, deciding on who baths first. Turns out it did not matter, as we ended up sewing and taping on my bedroom floor. We must have been such a sight. One taping leather straps and arranging it haphazardly while the other sews this ugly snake thing. Syuffed it with newspaper. Seriously ugly. Still, its accurate, as Dorothea's magic sucks. LOL. Went to bed around midnight as we wanted to reduce eyebags.
Woke up at 8am. I think its my internal alarm from working at MBA. Work strats at 10am, so waking up at 8am is ideal. Haha. Kaen had used her cape as a blanket in the middle of the night. Its expensive satin, so it feels awesome. Really nice. Smooth. I want a satin cape too~ Anyhow, while I was busy packing my house and getting my things ready, that girl was reading manga at my veranda. Ludwig. Yes, she said it was research, but it so obviously was her slacking! So we only started working at 930am. I assure you, that is plenty late for people who still have to cmplete boot covers, sew costumes, finish snake, make up, wig... We were suppose to lunch with Vivi at noon. We reached Ngee Ann Poly at 2pm. Two hours late. Cabbed there. Vivien even bought us lunch. Can you believe it?! Vivi, we owe you so much. Never again will I arrange to meet you when I have an event. Poor Vivi. We were running around my house to get things ready, hugging the dustbin to cut the wig... My make up was awful. I am getting a new eyeliner. Sochii-san has recommended some, so might try it out.
The event area was tiny. Made a new friend. Reina-san. She actually met the Pure Boys guys in JAPAN! In REAL LIFE! Apparently, she sings well too. Super cool. She met the actor of Tezuka from the third cast of Tenimyu. I have just forgotten his name. Anyway, she's really nice. Hung out with us for a bit and the both of us were going on and on about Prince of Tennis. Atobe-sama is love~. Celebrated Rinya's birthday. She's born on the same day as Dad and hyde. Another January 29th baby.
Kaen looked awesome. Compared to her, I just looked like any other meido running around in the event. She had a rifle. That counts for something. And she was in red. Which is quite a rare colour even in the most normal of events. Added to the fact that she does look hot... Haha. I'll be surprised if no one stalks her. I feel so proud of her. And my sewing skills as her straps did not split. Haha. Sochii-san was suppose to be there as well, but we never met her. So near, yet so far. Oh well.
Now the fun part.
I want to thank these people for making SOY a happy time for me...
Vivi and Choonie. Thank you for carting things, opening bottle caps, buying food, talking to us... Thank you for the time, effort and companionship. I shall never ever drag you guys to events that you are not participating in ever again. I feel awful. Serious. So you guys can rest assured that I'll look around for some way to take care of my belongngs from now on. Yep. I love you guys!
My family. Thanks for keeping the food warm, for allowing my friend to stay over, for allowing to go for the event, for not complaining about the mess, for not commenting on my costume, for worrying about me... THANK YOU! Love you guys too!
The cab driver. For being willing to pick up two crazy girls.
Kaen. You know why. LOL.
SOY... Yeah :)
"I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either."
Whatever that random song is on Jason's playlist...
Yes, I know this is late. I wanted to wait for the SOY photos to be uploaded before I type this. Why? Because I have no intention of typing down every single thing that ocurred. I'm just going to recount the behind-the-scenes stuff that no photographer could have captured. Yes, that word hangs in the air. I dare you to vocalise it in front of me. Can't? Too bad.
Waited for Kaen for 2 hours. At the MRT station. I went to Chinatown straight after work on Friday night to buy the stuff we need. Good thing too, as most of the shops were already clsoing at 630pm. Super early, but not unexpected. Only a handful of shops were open due to the post Chinese New Year break they were all on. Most of the shop owners were really nice to give me generous discounts. Guess they wanted to start the year on a good note. Either that or they already had a windfall from the New Year crowd. Haha. I shop, according to my mom, like a guy, so I was done at around 7pm. So I waited for my uke (HAHA) at Chinatown, and later at my home's bus stop. Killed time waiting for her to fly down with our costumes and her rifle from Kai. Helped a few tourists with their ez-link cards, push prams through the barrier, direct more tourists to the correct train... SBS Transit ought to pay me.
We reached my grandma's place around 9pm. Yes. I had dinner at 9pm when my lunch for that day was... 1pm. I'm astonished that I did not faint or anything. Kaen looked... hilariously like an oba-san. What with the enormous Daiso bag and her bag and the rifle in the cardboard and her looking tired... I laughed hysterically when I saw her. Come on, I was tired too. Though I killed some more time mugging for my driving test...
At home, we started by slacking around, deciding on who baths first. Turns out it did not matter, as we ended up sewing and taping on my bedroom floor. We must have been such a sight. One taping leather straps and arranging it haphazardly while the other sews this ugly snake thing. Syuffed it with newspaper. Seriously ugly. Still, its accurate, as Dorothea's magic sucks. LOL. Went to bed around midnight as we wanted to reduce eyebags.
Woke up at 8am. I think its my internal alarm from working at MBA. Work strats at 10am, so waking up at 8am is ideal. Haha. Kaen had used her cape as a blanket in the middle of the night. Its expensive satin, so it feels awesome. Really nice. Smooth. I want a satin cape too~ Anyhow, while I was busy packing my house and getting my things ready, that girl was reading manga at my veranda. Ludwig. Yes, she said it was research, but it so obviously was her slacking! So we only started working at 930am. I assure you, that is plenty late for people who still have to cmplete boot covers, sew costumes, finish snake, make up, wig... We were suppose to lunch with Vivi at noon. We reached Ngee Ann Poly at 2pm. Two hours late. Cabbed there. Vivien even bought us lunch. Can you believe it?! Vivi, we owe you so much. Never again will I arrange to meet you when I have an event. Poor Vivi. We were running around my house to get things ready, hugging the dustbin to cut the wig... My make up was awful. I am getting a new eyeliner. Sochii-san has recommended some, so might try it out.
The event area was tiny. Made a new friend. Reina-san. She actually met the Pure Boys guys in JAPAN! In REAL LIFE! Apparently, she sings well too. Super cool. She met the actor of Tezuka from the third cast of Tenimyu. I have just forgotten his name. Anyway, she's really nice. Hung out with us for a bit and the both of us were going on and on about Prince of Tennis. Atobe-sama is love~. Celebrated Rinya's birthday. She's born on the same day as Dad and hyde. Another January 29th baby.
Kaen looked awesome. Compared to her, I just looked like any other meido running around in the event. She had a rifle. That counts for something. And she was in red. Which is quite a rare colour even in the most normal of events. Added to the fact that she does look hot... Haha. I'll be surprised if no one stalks her. I feel so proud of her. And my sewing skills as her straps did not split. Haha. Sochii-san was suppose to be there as well, but we never met her. So near, yet so far. Oh well.
Now the fun part.
I want to thank these people for making SOY a happy time for me...
Vivi and Choonie. Thank you for carting things, opening bottle caps, buying food, talking to us... Thank you for the time, effort and companionship. I shall never ever drag you guys to events that you are not participating in ever again. I feel awful. Serious. So you guys can rest assured that I'll look around for some way to take care of my belongngs from now on. Yep. I love you guys!
My family. Thanks for keeping the food warm, for allowing my friend to stay over, for allowing to go for the event, for not complaining about the mess, for not commenting on my costume, for worrying about me... THANK YOU! Love you guys too!
The cab driver. For being willing to pick up two crazy girls.
Kaen. You know why. LOL.
SOY... Yeah :)
"I can only please one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow is not looking good either."
Tuesday, 3 February 2009
Stop
Playlist
Random sounds from the television in the living room
I have been attacked by paper. So much so that I have sustained multiple injuries. I am so going to bring gloves tomorrow.
I think I'll miss everyone at MBA.
Celine and her kawaii way of typing. She's super nice. Never gets mad at me, despite the few times that I screwed up. And left documents in the printing room. And talked, not so softly, on my phone. And... Yeah. She's never mad at me. I mean, I think I'm hard to get along with, but she so absolutely told me that those born in the Year of the Dog and Horse get along well with each other. Wow. I really like her. Our little walks around campus. Searching high and low for exits. Borrowing equipment. Figuring out how things work. A bond. I am, after all, her first temp staff. We did trial and error on quite a few of the systems. Conquered mountains of applications. Shared jokes... Oh man. I've yet to leave and I already feel nostalgic!
Then there's Jason, who sits in the cubicle right next to us. He goes on and on about people, namely me, who do not punch holes proplerly, in a nice way. He complains that I bully him, I so do not!, and that I look too happy when I offload work onto him. Shucks. I sorta felt he was imposing at first, I think its the built, but... He's a nice guy.
Next up are Richard and Edwin. Is it me or does all the MBA staff have English names... Hmm. Anyhow, Richard's... Err. Shall I say it nicely? He has his own style of working. I shall leave it at that. Edwin. Ah. He has, certain... Issues. Still, the both of them are alright. No one dangerous. No one too outstanding. Alright as colleagues.
Finally. Angelyn. She's the head of us, so I guess she's considered my boss. Or are all of them my boss since the temp is the lowest ranked? Whatever. She's bubbly. Adorable. Quite serious when need be, and tends to hog the toilet key. Hilarious incidents of Celine and I hunting high and low for the key. not exactly pleasant when your bladder is full, but on the whole? Funny.
I've had a good time. Free lunches. Staff discounts. Much laughter. A relaxed environment where everyone seems at peace, if not happy. Fighting with the printer. Learning to scan copies. Weighing mail. Addressing cards. Putting together admission packages. An agreement not to answer phone calls... This two months have been a blast. Thank you for hiring me. For working with me. For accepting me.
Byebye :)
"The end of one road is the beginning of another."
Random sounds from the television in the living room
I have been attacked by paper. So much so that I have sustained multiple injuries. I am so going to bring gloves tomorrow.
I think I'll miss everyone at MBA.
Celine and her kawaii way of typing. She's super nice. Never gets mad at me, despite the few times that I screwed up. And left documents in the printing room. And talked, not so softly, on my phone. And... Yeah. She's never mad at me. I mean, I think I'm hard to get along with, but she so absolutely told me that those born in the Year of the Dog and Horse get along well with each other. Wow. I really like her. Our little walks around campus. Searching high and low for exits. Borrowing equipment. Figuring out how things work. A bond. I am, after all, her first temp staff. We did trial and error on quite a few of the systems. Conquered mountains of applications. Shared jokes... Oh man. I've yet to leave and I already feel nostalgic!
Then there's Jason, who sits in the cubicle right next to us. He goes on and on about people, namely me, who do not punch holes proplerly, in a nice way. He complains that I bully him, I so do not!, and that I look too happy when I offload work onto him. Shucks. I sorta felt he was imposing at first, I think its the built, but... He's a nice guy.
Next up are Richard and Edwin. Is it me or does all the MBA staff have English names... Hmm. Anyhow, Richard's... Err. Shall I say it nicely? He has his own style of working. I shall leave it at that. Edwin. Ah. He has, certain... Issues. Still, the both of them are alright. No one dangerous. No one too outstanding. Alright as colleagues.
Finally. Angelyn. She's the head of us, so I guess she's considered my boss. Or are all of them my boss since the temp is the lowest ranked? Whatever. She's bubbly. Adorable. Quite serious when need be, and tends to hog the toilet key. Hilarious incidents of Celine and I hunting high and low for the key. not exactly pleasant when your bladder is full, but on the whole? Funny.
I've had a good time. Free lunches. Staff discounts. Much laughter. A relaxed environment where everyone seems at peace, if not happy. Fighting with the printer. Learning to scan copies. Weighing mail. Addressing cards. Putting together admission packages. An agreement not to answer phone calls... This two months have been a blast. Thank you for hiring me. For working with me. For accepting me.
Byebye :)
"The end of one road is the beginning of another."
Wednesday, 21 January 2009
Bitch
Playlist
Asrun Dreams by Gackt
You can say what you want. You can do whatever you want. I won't change my values. Yeah. Go ahead. Insult me. Ostracize me. At least I know that I have a foothold. I may lack a sense of purpose, but I know that my purpose will not be to kowtow to jerks like you. Yeah. I'm bitchy. So? You got a problem with that?
Things that piss me off are numerous. But for the sake of fools out there, I'm going to shorten it down into this post. I'll even give brief descriptions of my pet peeves. And I know you read my blog, so take note. Next time, I'll skin you alive and grill you. Not because I'm violent or anything. Just because. Yeah. I'm a 'vengeful female ghost remember'? Think Alma from F.E.A.R. 2. Not because I play the game. Inside joke. I know you don't get it.
Peeve 3:
People who cannot be bothered to remember birthdays. I don't care if you're bad with numbers or dates. Its not like I'm asking you to remember the birthday of everyone you meet. I'm talking about family, close friends, spouses... YOUR GIRLFRIEND/boyfriend. You know. It matters. I know there are a hundred and one different anniversaries, what with date of first date, date of first meeting, date of whatever-you-want-to-commemorate... But the birthday tops it ALL. So you better at least send a freaking SMS. For goodness sake, you have some 1000 free SMSes. Whats ONE for your GIRLFRIEND?! Even if its late, its better than NOTHING you jerk!
Peeve 2:
People who don't bother to do research. This applies to cosplayers, MBA applicants, friends, interviewees... The list extends. I cannot bring myself to respect those who cannot respect others. Not bothering to find out about the character, the programme, the requirements... It reeks of selfishness and lack of awareness of yourself and your surroundings. I do not suscribe to the excuse of no time. We all have time. Its how we squeeze and organize our day. Its how we sacrifice the indulgences to do what needs to be done. I'm not asking you to go without food, drink and sleep. I'm asking you to NOT watch that one hour of TV to do something more conducive. Sheesh.
And one of the most irritating thing I've come to realised is that of...
Peeve 1:
People with no sense of hygiene. Brush your teeth. Bath. Change your clothes. Wash your hair. Put your feet on the floor. Stop picking your nose. Trim your nails AT HOME. Goodness. the things people do. Or not do. Its no longer a matter of what looks good. It is being clean. Is that so difficult? Have you no self-awareness? Must you walk around without shoes?????? Yes. This is targeted at you. Slimy. Gross. I don't want to touch anything that you use. Stop. just beacuse you're male does not change the fact that you're icky. Puh-lease. I have no wish to stereotype but you fall into the category of 'men who are not attached or married after a certain age are weird'. I'm sure this is not true of many others. Maybe your fate is to get married at 80. I have honestly no idea. But from what I can see... You're dirty. A louse. Begone!
There, I've let of some steam. Please try not to fall into any of the above catergories. I tend to be not so nice. Otherwise... I'm sure I have a charming personality :)
"You have GOT to be joking..."
Asrun Dreams by Gackt
You can say what you want. You can do whatever you want. I won't change my values. Yeah. Go ahead. Insult me. Ostracize me. At least I know that I have a foothold. I may lack a sense of purpose, but I know that my purpose will not be to kowtow to jerks like you. Yeah. I'm bitchy. So? You got a problem with that?
Things that piss me off are numerous. But for the sake of fools out there, I'm going to shorten it down into this post. I'll even give brief descriptions of my pet peeves. And I know you read my blog, so take note. Next time, I'll skin you alive and grill you. Not because I'm violent or anything. Just because. Yeah. I'm a 'vengeful female ghost remember'? Think Alma from F.E.A.R. 2. Not because I play the game. Inside joke. I know you don't get it.
Peeve 3:
People who cannot be bothered to remember birthdays. I don't care if you're bad with numbers or dates. Its not like I'm asking you to remember the birthday of everyone you meet. I'm talking about family, close friends, spouses... YOUR GIRLFRIEND/boyfriend. You know. It matters. I know there are a hundred and one different anniversaries, what with date of first date, date of first meeting, date of whatever-you-want-to-commemorate... But the birthday tops it ALL. So you better at least send a freaking SMS. For goodness sake, you have some 1000 free SMSes. Whats ONE for your GIRLFRIEND?! Even if its late, its better than NOTHING you jerk!
Peeve 2:
People who don't bother to do research. This applies to cosplayers, MBA applicants, friends, interviewees... The list extends. I cannot bring myself to respect those who cannot respect others. Not bothering to find out about the character, the programme, the requirements... It reeks of selfishness and lack of awareness of yourself and your surroundings. I do not suscribe to the excuse of no time. We all have time. Its how we squeeze and organize our day. Its how we sacrifice the indulgences to do what needs to be done. I'm not asking you to go without food, drink and sleep. I'm asking you to NOT watch that one hour of TV to do something more conducive. Sheesh.
And one of the most irritating thing I've come to realised is that of...
Peeve 1:
People with no sense of hygiene. Brush your teeth. Bath. Change your clothes. Wash your hair. Put your feet on the floor. Stop picking your nose. Trim your nails AT HOME. Goodness. the things people do. Or not do. Its no longer a matter of what looks good. It is being clean. Is that so difficult? Have you no self-awareness? Must you walk around without shoes?????? Yes. This is targeted at you. Slimy. Gross. I don't want to touch anything that you use. Stop. just beacuse you're male does not change the fact that you're icky. Puh-lease. I have no wish to stereotype but you fall into the category of 'men who are not attached or married after a certain age are weird'. I'm sure this is not true of many others. Maybe your fate is to get married at 80. I have honestly no idea. But from what I can see... You're dirty. A louse. Begone!
There, I've let of some steam. Please try not to fall into any of the above catergories. I tend to be not so nice. Otherwise... I'm sure I have a charming personality :)
"You have GOT to be joking..."
Monday, 19 January 2009
Resolution
Playlist
Kimi Hana by pigstar
This gal needs sleep. Money. Time. And entertainment. I am bored. Hopelessly so. There is this emptiness. Like a jellyfish drifting aimlessly in the sea. What is missing I wonder? I say its post-cosplay depression. But I wonder... is that really the problem? I think not. I think its something more pressing.
It has been 2 months since my last exam paper. Strangely enough it feels as if it has been longer. After all, I found a job one week after my last paper. So I've worked for about the same amount of time. I regret to say that I have been job hopping. And I think I will continue to job hop until I am able to do something that gets rid of this feeling of emptiness. i am not going to mope about. In a way, I have lost my footing. I destroyed the land I was standing upon. I know. Stupid of me. Still, this does not mean that I am about to drown. I won't go down like that. Not with so many things left undone. I shall not lose myself again.
I have seen things that I had rather not seen. I have said things I had rather not have to say. I have done things I had wish I do not have to do. My life is always like this. No matter how hard I struggle, there are still the things that you regret. Indeed, it was the best decision at that point in time. Indeed, I make it a point to minimise my regrets. Yet... And yet... It happens. I know. something I cannot fight, that I cannot win against. I try. I do. I fail. Is it worth it? At that moment, until this moment, yes.
Why does work accumulate when you're busy? And not come at all when you desperately want to do something? Why do you receive three calls all at once, and none when you want someone to call? Why do people take others for granted? Why doesn't that freaking bugger who told you to ignore offloaded work be the idiot who offloads his work onto you!? Why am I underpaid? And seriously overworked?
I might as well wait for a return message from a bottle I hurled into the sea...
"Yes, I'm having a fabulous time. I'm having so much fun that I'm coughing blood."
Kimi Hana by pigstar
This gal needs sleep. Money. Time. And entertainment. I am bored. Hopelessly so. There is this emptiness. Like a jellyfish drifting aimlessly in the sea. What is missing I wonder? I say its post-cosplay depression. But I wonder... is that really the problem? I think not. I think its something more pressing.
It has been 2 months since my last exam paper. Strangely enough it feels as if it has been longer. After all, I found a job one week after my last paper. So I've worked for about the same amount of time. I regret to say that I have been job hopping. And I think I will continue to job hop until I am able to do something that gets rid of this feeling of emptiness. i am not going to mope about. In a way, I have lost my footing. I destroyed the land I was standing upon. I know. Stupid of me. Still, this does not mean that I am about to drown. I won't go down like that. Not with so many things left undone. I shall not lose myself again.
I have seen things that I had rather not seen. I have said things I had rather not have to say. I have done things I had wish I do not have to do. My life is always like this. No matter how hard I struggle, there are still the things that you regret. Indeed, it was the best decision at that point in time. Indeed, I make it a point to minimise my regrets. Yet... And yet... It happens. I know. something I cannot fight, that I cannot win against. I try. I do. I fail. Is it worth it? At that moment, until this moment, yes.
Why does work accumulate when you're busy? And not come at all when you desperately want to do something? Why do you receive three calls all at once, and none when you want someone to call? Why do people take others for granted? Why doesn't that freaking bugger who told you to ignore offloaded work be the idiot who offloads his work onto you!? Why am I underpaid? And seriously overworked?
I might as well wait for a return message from a bottle I hurled into the sea...
"Yes, I'm having a fabulous time. I'm having so much fun that I'm coughing blood."
Sunday, 11 January 2009
Egad
Playlist
twinkle, twinkle by L'Arc~en~Ciel
I don't believe it. I'm still awake. I'm so going to be killed by Dad. He's coming back on the 7AM flight. How in the world am I going to clean the house? How in the world am I in the world going to do laundry without Sir Super Slack finding out about the jeans? What will I say when my mom asks me about all the clothes? I'm so dead. Dead I tell you. My alimentary canal hurts. Insufficient carbohydrates. Yeah. I'm at the photo shoot chalet now. Finished bathing. Wore a wig for more than 10 hours. Make up for as long. Nowaki. Kusou Nowaki from JunJou Romantica. I have no idea if I look alright. Cause everything that I see in the mirror is my own perspective. From a slightly different angle, I might look absolutely Nowaki, and from yet another... Fail. Still, I've yet to be told that I look awful. So I assume its ok. Not erroneously, I hope. I'll link to the site when its done. So far has a few. Here is a video, and here are some photos. I'm not direct linking, so you'll have to scroll down a bit on the thread. Yup. My team. I'm hardly ever posting as there are some problems with my home's connection. Still, it does not mean that I'm not active!
The photos were taken with Kaen. We were absolutely in character. Without trying to be. It was an unconscious thing. The reactions were all natural. The expressions were not very difficult. If a photographer was following us the entire time, its scary how you need people to stalk you at certain points, and if we had a imaginative helper... The sky was likely to be the limit. I'm serious. I'm not saying Melo is a poor helper! Absolutely not! She's super cute and great... But she had to leave early... Not her fault! Oh well.
I think it was thanks to the 7 years. The similar interests. It made shooting pretty easy. Nothing felt unnatural. Quite comfortable with her. Like duh. When she shoved me away, I was really hurt. Not acting. Its that you don't expect someone you know so well to push you away. You're thrown off guard by the force, the intent, the person... Everything. I think if Hiroki pushed Nowaki away, I'd cry if I were him. I was really hurt... When I was lying down, the smug satisfaction was for real, as I was so tired that lying down felt so good. Really good. Come on. Everyone doing everything for you... And all you need to do is lie there and look happy. Duh you'll look happy!
I don't want to go back to work. I'm in the mood to laze. Yes. I'll go sleep when my hair dries. I do need to go back to reality. I need sleep. Will continue when I have time...
"I do not need an eternity. I only need an eternal moment."
twinkle, twinkle by L'Arc~en~Ciel
I don't believe it. I'm still awake. I'm so going to be killed by Dad. He's coming back on the 7AM flight. How in the world am I going to clean the house? How in the world am I in the world going to do laundry without Sir Super Slack finding out about the jeans? What will I say when my mom asks me about all the clothes? I'm so dead. Dead I tell you. My alimentary canal hurts. Insufficient carbohydrates. Yeah. I'm at the photo shoot chalet now. Finished bathing. Wore a wig for more than 10 hours. Make up for as long. Nowaki. Kusou Nowaki from JunJou Romantica. I have no idea if I look alright. Cause everything that I see in the mirror is my own perspective. From a slightly different angle, I might look absolutely Nowaki, and from yet another... Fail. Still, I've yet to be told that I look awful. So I assume its ok. Not erroneously, I hope. I'll link to the site when its done. So far has a few. Here is a video, and here are some photos. I'm not direct linking, so you'll have to scroll down a bit on the thread. Yup. My team. I'm hardly ever posting as there are some problems with my home's connection. Still, it does not mean that I'm not active!
The photos were taken with Kaen. We were absolutely in character. Without trying to be. It was an unconscious thing. The reactions were all natural. The expressions were not very difficult. If a photographer was following us the entire time, its scary how you need people to stalk you at certain points, and if we had a imaginative helper... The sky was likely to be the limit. I'm serious. I'm not saying Melo is a poor helper! Absolutely not! She's super cute and great... But she had to leave early... Not her fault! Oh well.
I think it was thanks to the 7 years. The similar interests. It made shooting pretty easy. Nothing felt unnatural. Quite comfortable with her. Like duh. When she shoved me away, I was really hurt. Not acting. Its that you don't expect someone you know so well to push you away. You're thrown off guard by the force, the intent, the person... Everything. I think if Hiroki pushed Nowaki away, I'd cry if I were him. I was really hurt... When I was lying down, the smug satisfaction was for real, as I was so tired that lying down felt so good. Really good. Come on. Everyone doing everything for you... And all you need to do is lie there and look happy. Duh you'll look happy!
I don't want to go back to work. I'm in the mood to laze. Yes. I'll go sleep when my hair dries. I do need to go back to reality. I need sleep. Will continue when I have time...
"I do not need an eternity. I only need an eternal moment."
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
Ponyo
Playlist
My Dear by L'Arc-en-Ciel
Ponyo! Oh my goodness, Ponyo is super KAWAII! I watched the movie on thefirst day of the year. With my parents. Yeah. How old am I to still watch movies with my parents? There were loads of kids in the cinema. Making lots of noise. Babbling to their parents. Complaining that they need to go to the toilet. I have nothing against the kids. Kids will be kids. I'm actually pissed by their parents. To begin with, the movie is in JAPANESE. Unless the tot happens to know Japanese, I have no idea how they will understand what is being said. Indeed, the Japanese used is not too difficult, but some portions cannot exactly be understood based on viewing alone. So... I suppose they expect their little darlings to learn Japanese on the spot. I mean, their children can't read the subtitles. How else will they understand what is going on? Oh. I know! They'll spend the whole movie explaining to their kid. And disturbing me next to them.
Just started my Japanese lessons. Mine is a really large class, with about twenty-five students. Its a beginner class. Hougang. One minute away from Heartland Mall. My teacher is Singaporean, which, at the beginner level is preferred. After all, you do need someone to explain the basics to you. Translate. Create learning links. That sort of thing. Alright so far. This evening will be the second lesson, but I already have homework to complete.
I will not be applying for overseas university this year. Reason is simple. Too many things going on all at once. Also, its not like I will not be able to apply next year. A transfer is quite normal overseas. Of course, its best if I can get in the first time round, but... The glamour is lost. I still want to pursue higher education overseas as I feel that the quality of education is better. Holistically of course.
I have ventured into the Korean music industry. TVXQ in particular. Mirotic, especially. I know, I know, parts of it looks like washing machine powder advertisement. Still. While I will not say their singing is fantastic, its pretty reasonable. That, and the fact that they are extremely easy on the eyes. Plus, they can dance! The washing machine powder advertisement dance it is, but overall is okay. Haha. This, does not mean that I have abandoned the Japanese music industry. In fact, I'm curently playing Malice Mizer's Le Ciel. I have listened to the CD so many times that I think I'll scratch the CD, while my phone constantly runs out of battery. Testimony of my love of Le Ciel.
I'm afraid my posters will start to yellow. Must constantly maintain the status of my shrine...
"Without you, there would be more oxygen for me."
My Dear by L'Arc-en-Ciel
Ponyo! Oh my goodness, Ponyo is super KAWAII! I watched the movie on thefirst day of the year. With my parents. Yeah. How old am I to still watch movies with my parents? There were loads of kids in the cinema. Making lots of noise. Babbling to their parents. Complaining that they need to go to the toilet. I have nothing against the kids. Kids will be kids. I'm actually pissed by their parents. To begin with, the movie is in JAPANESE. Unless the tot happens to know Japanese, I have no idea how they will understand what is being said. Indeed, the Japanese used is not too difficult, but some portions cannot exactly be understood based on viewing alone. So... I suppose they expect their little darlings to learn Japanese on the spot. I mean, their children can't read the subtitles. How else will they understand what is going on? Oh. I know! They'll spend the whole movie explaining to their kid. And disturbing me next to them.
Just started my Japanese lessons. Mine is a really large class, with about twenty-five students. Its a beginner class. Hougang. One minute away from Heartland Mall. My teacher is Singaporean, which, at the beginner level is preferred. After all, you do need someone to explain the basics to you. Translate. Create learning links. That sort of thing. Alright so far. This evening will be the second lesson, but I already have homework to complete.
I will not be applying for overseas university this year. Reason is simple. Too many things going on all at once. Also, its not like I will not be able to apply next year. A transfer is quite normal overseas. Of course, its best if I can get in the first time round, but... The glamour is lost. I still want to pursue higher education overseas as I feel that the quality of education is better. Holistically of course.
I have ventured into the Korean music industry. TVXQ in particular. Mirotic, especially. I know, I know, parts of it looks like washing machine powder advertisement. Still. While I will not say their singing is fantastic, its pretty reasonable. That, and the fact that they are extremely easy on the eyes. Plus, they can dance! The washing machine powder advertisement dance it is, but overall is okay. Haha. This, does not mean that I have abandoned the Japanese music industry. In fact, I'm curently playing Malice Mizer's Le Ciel. I have listened to the CD so many times that I think I'll scratch the CD, while my phone constantly runs out of battery. Testimony of my love of Le Ciel.
I'm afraid my posters will start to yellow. Must constantly maintain the status of my shrine...
"Without you, there would be more oxygen for me."
Tuesday, 30 December 2008
Decay
Playlist
Milky Way bu L'Arc~en~Ciel
You are nothing but a perverted old man. You have no talent and exceedingly limited ability. Stop trying to convince yourself that you are an 18 year-old. You are not. Where do you think you are? A bar? Goodness, you are no where near hot enough to participate in some lousy half-hearted strip tease. I'm not interested. At all. You think you're so funny, so mature, so knowledgeable. Like Hell you are. A narrow-minded frog in a well. What you are so proud of is merely a title. One that you're not even worthy of. I know people who are far better than you. Both in personality and ability. Furthermore, I am not a child. Just because I'm polite does not mean I'm alright with the crap you dish out. You are so predictable. Nothing special. Just the result of a flawed system. Get lost. You think you are so special. You are most definitely not. Yes, I'm being rude. you'll most probably never see this, but just in case you do, good for you. Welcome to the 21st century. Dinosaur.
In one day, I have listened to Nps Ngs five times, Le ciel three times, Returner four times. Not to mention Rebirth and Heart. Yes. I'm listening to music in the office. No harm apparently. Not with two-thirds of the staff absent. I think when the new year begins, I'll miss playing music more than anything else. In a way, my job is really simple. And the workload depends on the applicants. So if the applicants take it easy, my days at the office are like today. Blogging. Listening to music. There's nothing I can do! I believe in devotion to task, yet, when my task is to update applications... There's a limit to how devoted you can get. I'm actually creating work for myself to do. Maybe I should quit. There is hardly any fulfillment. Answering phone calls, sorting documents, updating the online status, replying to enquiries, troubleshooting... Maybe I should do something else. I can feel my brain cells dying.
Eyeliner. Lots of it. Gackt, SID, Laruku. I have the posters. All of them wear eyeliner, with some more than the other. I mean, yukihiro seems to be the type who only uses eyeliner when in the more Gothic Laruku PVs. Gackt on the other hand... Go watch his Sekirei PV. Especially as he blinks awake... I personally like his general appearance in Vanilla and Le Ciel. Hair neither too short nor too long. The fingernails in Le Ciel is suicidal though. The other band members seem to be colour coded. Like blue for Mana, he and his French princess, red for Kozi, purple for Kami, yellow for Yu~ki and... Goodness knows what is Gackt's colour. Still, he looks amazingly, broodingly handsome.
Going by my recent posts, one would think that I have converted my Laruku shrine into a Gackt shrine. Nope. Its still all up there. Staring at me as I do my push-ups, plank and other static exercises in my room. A great motivator. There's this consistent stress that comes from knowing that you're not as fit as them. Okay. I'm using euphemisms. I'll be honest. There is A LOT of pressure that comes from waking up next to their inhumane godliness. I mean, I don't feel a need to lose 10kg and strive towards model thinness, but seriously, losing about 5kg would be real sweet. Yeah. Its that kind of unhealthy feeling. I know! I'm being weird. Still, I realise that my metabolic rate has slowed... And I'm seriously unfit. So its a good thing that I now have a goal. Although it is rather ambiguous. My aim is to be fit, and healthy enough that I don't feel self-conscious in my own room. Good luck to me.
" A fallen fruit... Hastening the process of decay..."
Milky Way bu L'Arc~en~Ciel
You are nothing but a perverted old man. You have no talent and exceedingly limited ability. Stop trying to convince yourself that you are an 18 year-old. You are not. Where do you think you are? A bar? Goodness, you are no where near hot enough to participate in some lousy half-hearted strip tease. I'm not interested. At all. You think you're so funny, so mature, so knowledgeable. Like Hell you are. A narrow-minded frog in a well. What you are so proud of is merely a title. One that you're not even worthy of. I know people who are far better than you. Both in personality and ability. Furthermore, I am not a child. Just because I'm polite does not mean I'm alright with the crap you dish out. You are so predictable. Nothing special. Just the result of a flawed system. Get lost. You think you are so special. You are most definitely not. Yes, I'm being rude. you'll most probably never see this, but just in case you do, good for you. Welcome to the 21st century. Dinosaur.
In one day, I have listened to Nps Ngs five times, Le ciel three times, Returner four times. Not to mention Rebirth and Heart. Yes. I'm listening to music in the office. No harm apparently. Not with two-thirds of the staff absent. I think when the new year begins, I'll miss playing music more than anything else. In a way, my job is really simple. And the workload depends on the applicants. So if the applicants take it easy, my days at the office are like today. Blogging. Listening to music. There's nothing I can do! I believe in devotion to task, yet, when my task is to update applications... There's a limit to how devoted you can get. I'm actually creating work for myself to do. Maybe I should quit. There is hardly any fulfillment. Answering phone calls, sorting documents, updating the online status, replying to enquiries, troubleshooting... Maybe I should do something else. I can feel my brain cells dying.
Eyeliner. Lots of it. Gackt, SID, Laruku. I have the posters. All of them wear eyeliner, with some more than the other. I mean, yukihiro seems to be the type who only uses eyeliner when in the more Gothic Laruku PVs. Gackt on the other hand... Go watch his Sekirei PV. Especially as he blinks awake... I personally like his general appearance in Vanilla and Le Ciel. Hair neither too short nor too long. The fingernails in Le Ciel is suicidal though. The other band members seem to be colour coded. Like blue for Mana, he and his French princess, red for Kozi, purple for Kami, yellow for Yu~ki and... Goodness knows what is Gackt's colour. Still, he looks amazingly, broodingly handsome.
Going by my recent posts, one would think that I have converted my Laruku shrine into a Gackt shrine. Nope. Its still all up there. Staring at me as I do my push-ups, plank and other static exercises in my room. A great motivator. There's this consistent stress that comes from knowing that you're not as fit as them. Okay. I'm using euphemisms. I'll be honest. There is A LOT of pressure that comes from waking up next to their inhumane godliness. I mean, I don't feel a need to lose 10kg and strive towards model thinness, but seriously, losing about 5kg would be real sweet. Yeah. Its that kind of unhealthy feeling. I know! I'm being weird. Still, I realise that my metabolic rate has slowed... And I'm seriously unfit. So its a good thing that I now have a goal. Although it is rather ambiguous. My aim is to be fit, and healthy enough that I don't feel self-conscious in my own room. Good luck to me.
" A fallen fruit... Hastening the process of decay..."
Monday, 29 December 2008
Diverge
Playlist
Bel-Air by Malice Mizer
Goodness. The office is virtually freezing today. I took a look at the thermostat. It was 21.5 degree Celsius. In tropical Singapore. No wonder. I generally like the cold, but in this place where the air is stale... And the carpet smells like... Well, carpet. Believe me, its quite awful. Claustrophobic? Not so much as a morgue. Yeah. I'm thinking too much. I'm speculating. I'm being nonsensical. Guess its because of the music. Been listening to Malice Mizer for way too long. After all, when you have N.p.s. N.g.s. set as your message tone and at repeat... You go lulu after a while. I have no idea what the acronyms mean. I don't want to guess either. You can go listen to it and imagine what the whole bunch of them are trying to convey. I'll just self-hypnotise. In other words, I'm going to ignore it all.
I feel so terribly insulted. Or should I not? Ok, I'm not exactly HURT or anything. Its just that I feel I OUGHT to feel hurt. Whatever. Anyhow, one of my colleagues just mentioned that I have a supremely mugger look. He, yes, a he. Age 35. Single. Likes Indian food. Those who know me will know the rest of the details. What he said was that my spectacles and hair puts me in a 'MUGGER' category. Furthermore, I'm not tan enough. Now I know why the whole bunch of SRF people think I look very different when I'm cosplaying and when I'm in normal clothes. Honestly, I think there's not much of a difference. After all, I've seen myself in all circumstances. In full dance gear with the one-inch make-up, Lolita make-up, be it sweet or Goth... When I have just woken up... When I'm all spotty... Still me inside. At the end of it all, I'm still... Me. No matter how unglamorous I may look. Yes, you can say I'm an arrogant prig who is full of self-love. I don't care. After all, who, on this blue earth, is going to love me the way I love myself? No one.
Going to Kovan to register for Japanese lesson later...
"Yes... Yes... Thank you... Have a nice day!"
Bel-Air by Malice Mizer
Goodness. The office is virtually freezing today. I took a look at the thermostat. It was 21.5 degree Celsius. In tropical Singapore. No wonder. I generally like the cold, but in this place where the air is stale... And the carpet smells like... Well, carpet. Believe me, its quite awful. Claustrophobic? Not so much as a morgue. Yeah. I'm thinking too much. I'm speculating. I'm being nonsensical. Guess its because of the music. Been listening to Malice Mizer for way too long. After all, when you have N.p.s. N.g.s. set as your message tone and at repeat... You go lulu after a while. I have no idea what the acronyms mean. I don't want to guess either. You can go listen to it and imagine what the whole bunch of them are trying to convey. I'll just self-hypnotise. In other words, I'm going to ignore it all.
I feel so terribly insulted. Or should I not? Ok, I'm not exactly HURT or anything. Its just that I feel I OUGHT to feel hurt. Whatever. Anyhow, one of my colleagues just mentioned that I have a supremely mugger look. He, yes, a he. Age 35. Single. Likes Indian food. Those who know me will know the rest of the details. What he said was that my spectacles and hair puts me in a 'MUGGER' category. Furthermore, I'm not tan enough. Now I know why the whole bunch of SRF people think I look very different when I'm cosplaying and when I'm in normal clothes. Honestly, I think there's not much of a difference. After all, I've seen myself in all circumstances. In full dance gear with the one-inch make-up, Lolita make-up, be it sweet or Goth... When I have just woken up... When I'm all spotty... Still me inside. At the end of it all, I'm still... Me. No matter how unglamorous I may look. Yes, you can say I'm an arrogant prig who is full of self-love. I don't care. After all, who, on this blue earth, is going to love me the way I love myself? No one.
Going to Kovan to register for Japanese lesson later...
"Yes... Yes... Thank you... Have a nice day!"
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