Playlist
Gekidou by UVERworld
To all the November babies that I know... Happpy Birthday! Its late, but I don't care!
Hejin, Winter, Kaen, Haiyun, Hyde's daughter, Yingzhen... and ME! :)
I passed the last two days in a haze. 22nd was in Malaysia with my family. Maternal grandmother's birthday. Yesterday was spent cleaning the house, as usual on Sundays, as well as at AFA. Anime Festival Asia. It was so unbearbly painmful. I'm serious. Just because I look happy does not mean I'm happy.
First and foremost, I spent three-quarters of the time waiting for my beloved Kaen to show. If it was anyone else on any other day, I'd die rather than wait. Well, it wasn't exactly under her control in the first place, so I don't blame her. The problem was with AFA itself. One word. Boring. The exhibits were plain boring. Nice art and all, but there were so few. Hardly entertaining. As for the cosplay competition... The standard was not particularly high. No idea who won. Was not paying attention. I'm not even interested to begin with! For the bright stars, they were far and few between. The better merchandise shops were packed. The advertising boards were lighted in such a way that its near impossible to snap a decent picture. My camera was malfunctioning. The entrance ticket was a waste of money.
Vivi, Choonie and Hualin were around. Saw lots of people that I know, such as Liyana, Geraldine, Hilda and other random schoolmates. Most did not recognise me, and if they did, were astounded by my shiroi Lolita get-up. Not surprising, seeing how I'm a person of really varied interets. Haha. Vivi looked really cute. Will upload her picture soon. SD and Yukiya were Kurei and Tokiya respectively. Melo was the cutest Kanda I have ever seen. Karei was ADORABLE! Winter put on some make up... And she looked really pretty! No need to cosplay. She's amazing enough as it is. Kai was in his signature suit, and it was all status quo.
I need work! No job offers so far... And anyone knows how to sign up for driving lessons? The website is absolutely user unfriendly. I'm serious. A total PAIN. I need to be able to drive if I go US... There is hardly public transport in case anyone wonders, and I'm not going to hitchhike around. No way...
"Dakedo kimi wa darekani koishiteru no ka?"
Monday, 24 November 2008
Saturday, 22 November 2008
Shaky
Playlist
Enrai ~ Tooku ni Aru Agari by High And Mighty Colour
I'm a fool. The greatest fool of all time. Why? I did not realise my flaws. I did not realise the things, the institutuions that I believed in were shaky. I did not realise that my belief was in something that was completely undependable. I am a fool. Finding out that you're an idiot hurts. The circumstances that trigger the realisation hurts. Coupled with the pain of knowing you're an idiot, it certainly is a heady combination. It sears through your entire self. Burns away your connections with that which provide security. Rips you to pieces, starting with everything that you believed in. Your world is shattered. Have fun picking up the pieces.
I think that family is the most important to me as of today. You can't rely on others. Not even your friends. Blood is certainly a powerful coagulent. Just like what I learnt in Biololgy in school.
No one remembered. As in, on their own, they did not remember. The first to voice it out is my mum. Then my aunt. Followed by my dad. I'm talking about those who said it out loud. I know my paternal grandma knows too. She remembers everything. Everything. Lets not talk about Kaen, who can't forget. Duh. Quite hard for me to forget her as well. The links are already there. Not a matter of choice. We're 'sister-in-laws'. I'm talking about everyone else. My brother. My cousins. Various aunts and uncles. Even those I feel are my friends. All unreliable. ALL. Why do I bother?
What do I expect from others? Should I not expect anything? I am human. I want to be loved. Am I too dememanding? Is this too much to ask? Am I just depressed by my inability to get a job? I've applied at some ten over locations, some in person, all to no avail. I totally know how those who are retrenched feel. Heaviness. The despair. The sesnse of isolation. Alienated from those who work. Helplessness when waiting for the call. That does not seem to come at all. Tired from the multiple interviews. From travelling the whole country. Your shortcomings all rubbed into your face. Self-disgust. Weariness. You wonder, is it all worth it? The absolute worst is seeing those who don't need the work getting it. And to make it even more unbearable, they wonder why you can't succeed and give useless advice. Make stupid comments. Say things like, " Maybe you should try harder?". Or better yet, "Don't worry, it will be ok." Go drown yourself in some ocean. Please. How about saying something that will address the root cause?
Somebody put an end to my suffering...
"To wait and to wait and to wait... In vain... For the moment that would never come..."
Enrai ~ Tooku ni Aru Agari by High And Mighty Colour
I'm a fool. The greatest fool of all time. Why? I did not realise my flaws. I did not realise the things, the institutuions that I believed in were shaky. I did not realise that my belief was in something that was completely undependable. I am a fool. Finding out that you're an idiot hurts. The circumstances that trigger the realisation hurts. Coupled with the pain of knowing you're an idiot, it certainly is a heady combination. It sears through your entire self. Burns away your connections with that which provide security. Rips you to pieces, starting with everything that you believed in. Your world is shattered. Have fun picking up the pieces.
I think that family is the most important to me as of today. You can't rely on others. Not even your friends. Blood is certainly a powerful coagulent. Just like what I learnt in Biololgy in school.
No one remembered. As in, on their own, they did not remember. The first to voice it out is my mum. Then my aunt. Followed by my dad. I'm talking about those who said it out loud. I know my paternal grandma knows too. She remembers everything. Everything. Lets not talk about Kaen, who can't forget. Duh. Quite hard for me to forget her as well. The links are already there. Not a matter of choice. We're 'sister-in-laws'. I'm talking about everyone else. My brother. My cousins. Various aunts and uncles. Even those I feel are my friends. All unreliable. ALL. Why do I bother?
What do I expect from others? Should I not expect anything? I am human. I want to be loved. Am I too dememanding? Is this too much to ask? Am I just depressed by my inability to get a job? I've applied at some ten over locations, some in person, all to no avail. I totally know how those who are retrenched feel. Heaviness. The despair. The sesnse of isolation. Alienated from those who work. Helplessness when waiting for the call. That does not seem to come at all. Tired from the multiple interviews. From travelling the whole country. Your shortcomings all rubbed into your face. Self-disgust. Weariness. You wonder, is it all worth it? The absolute worst is seeing those who don't need the work getting it. And to make it even more unbearable, they wonder why you can't succeed and give useless advice. Make stupid comments. Say things like, " Maybe you should try harder?". Or better yet, "Don't worry, it will be ok." Go drown yourself in some ocean. Please. How about saying something that will address the root cause?
Somebody put an end to my suffering...
"To wait and to wait and to wait... In vain... For the moment that would never come..."
Wednesday, 19 November 2008
Release
Playlist
Sakahiro Takarai's Be All Right
Its official! As of 11am this morning, I never have to put on a school uniform again! Last paper. Literature in English. Paper 3.
It was not as difficult as I thought it would be. The Unseen was a poem and a play extract. Both were comprehensive. I chose the poem in the end as I know how to analyse a poem more than a play. All thanks to the beloved Mr Whitby. As for compare and contrast, I compared Owen and Murder. Issue was the presentation of uncertainty and doubt. Did the essay on recount by older Marlow. Most felt it was a weird question. So I don't know. I might fail. I felt it was pretty alright. Which is either a good thing or a bad thing. More likely to be the latter. Means that I am absolutely dead. Oh well. Leave and let live.
Went to town. There was this sense of emptiness. Not because of the company, Viv was like the highlight, but rather, I think it stems from the realisation that there is nothing left. Just waiting. On the surface, you rejoice, but deep down inside, you start wondering what you are going to do. I'm looking for work, but hardly anyone seems to be hiring. Is it the economy? I sincerely doubt so. I guess its just that people don't want to hire kids. And that due to the JC curriculum starting in February next year, the market is saturated with people looking for work. Sheesh.
I want to do dance. Will most probably join the IP kids. I want to shoot. Will most probably join Kaen in her archery. I want to learn Spanish. Will most probably attempt it with Viv. My parents want me to learn to drive. I have no idea if I am mentally prepared enough to do it! Haha. So many things, so little time. I still need to go to the tailor for my Dorothea costume. I still need to buy Code Geass Monica's costume. I need to wrap up the various details of JJR. I need to start thinking of the design and colour scheme of Aoi's costume. I need to assemble Lulubell's clothes! Whoever said that cosplay was for little children, whoever said that its a frivolous and meaningless and easy activity has never done it. Its hard work. Well, unless you have all the money in the world to splurge and spend. Unless you have a palace of servants to clean up and source stuff for you. Like I said, unless you path is paved with money... Even if it was paved with money, its not easy. And the costume is only HALF the battle...
I shall not scare the poor kids out there who might be interested in cosplaying. Yet, it is true. behing the glamour, the momentarily 'cool' factor, is hard work. Lack of sleep. Headaches. Craft sessions. Sewing sessions. Travelling around the island. Being made fun of by others. Social stigmas. Stereotypes. Empty piggybank...
I love it. Always have. Always will.
"You need devotion. You neeed passion. Without these, you are nothing."
Sakahiro Takarai's Be All Right
Its official! As of 11am this morning, I never have to put on a school uniform again! Last paper. Literature in English. Paper 3.
It was not as difficult as I thought it would be. The Unseen was a poem and a play extract. Both were comprehensive. I chose the poem in the end as I know how to analyse a poem more than a play. All thanks to the beloved Mr Whitby. As for compare and contrast, I compared Owen and Murder. Issue was the presentation of uncertainty and doubt. Did the essay on recount by older Marlow. Most felt it was a weird question. So I don't know. I might fail. I felt it was pretty alright. Which is either a good thing or a bad thing. More likely to be the latter. Means that I am absolutely dead. Oh well. Leave and let live.
Went to town. There was this sense of emptiness. Not because of the company, Viv was like the highlight, but rather, I think it stems from the realisation that there is nothing left. Just waiting. On the surface, you rejoice, but deep down inside, you start wondering what you are going to do. I'm looking for work, but hardly anyone seems to be hiring. Is it the economy? I sincerely doubt so. I guess its just that people don't want to hire kids. And that due to the JC curriculum starting in February next year, the market is saturated with people looking for work. Sheesh.
I want to do dance. Will most probably join the IP kids. I want to shoot. Will most probably join Kaen in her archery. I want to learn Spanish. Will most probably attempt it with Viv. My parents want me to learn to drive. I have no idea if I am mentally prepared enough to do it! Haha. So many things, so little time. I still need to go to the tailor for my Dorothea costume. I still need to buy Code Geass Monica's costume. I need to wrap up the various details of JJR. I need to start thinking of the design and colour scheme of Aoi's costume. I need to assemble Lulubell's clothes! Whoever said that cosplay was for little children, whoever said that its a frivolous and meaningless and easy activity has never done it. Its hard work. Well, unless you have all the money in the world to splurge and spend. Unless you have a palace of servants to clean up and source stuff for you. Like I said, unless you path is paved with money... Even if it was paved with money, its not easy. And the costume is only HALF the battle...
I shall not scare the poor kids out there who might be interested in cosplaying. Yet, it is true. behing the glamour, the momentarily 'cool' factor, is hard work. Lack of sleep. Headaches. Craft sessions. Sewing sessions. Travelling around the island. Being made fun of by others. Social stigmas. Stereotypes. Empty piggybank...
I love it. Always have. Always will.
"You need devotion. You neeed passion. Without these, you are nothing."
Monday, 17 November 2008
Dedication
Playlist
Kakusei ~Dark and Light~ by Suwabe Junichi and Daisuke Ono
This is for my dear Kaen, who never fails to make me want to throttle her.
I'm writing it! I am! I'm on page 1! So wait! I'll give it to you on your birthday! Sheesh!
Barbie dolls ARE GAY.
I'm glad they didn't call. And WHY DO YOU WANT THEM TO CALL? Sheesh!
You owe me Suki Sa! How can you forget JUNJUN?!?!
1. Where would you go if someone sponsors you an air ticket?
Likely to be Japan. But I'll wonder who would be so nice... I mean, other than my family...
2. What's your favourite thing to do?
Eat. Sleep. And be merry. Cosplay. Listen to music.
3. Do you think money can buy happiness?
Yes.
4. If you were given a chance to receive something, what would it be?
Anything? Kurei. Duh!
5. Things that you cant live without:
Bed. Food. Water. Music. Books. Oxygen and carbon dioxide. Family. Friends. Seiyuus.
6. What are you afraid to lose?
Myself. Duh.
7. If you won US$1million, what would you do?
Won where??? Invest. Give to my parents. Pay for university. Buy a house in Emerald Hill. Don't think its enough though...
8. What do you dream of doing in the future?
Writing. Enjoying life. Sleeping. Dreaming some more...
9. List down 3 good things about the person who gave you this survey:
Err. Fun? Interesting? Errr...
10. What makes you happy?
Good food. Sufficient sleep. Money. Writing. Listening to music. Cosplay. Kurei. Yeah.
11. What kind of person do you hate the most?
Idiots. Stupid people. irritating people. Those who dont try. Backstabbers.
12. If you have a super power what would that be?
The ability to kill people with a glare. Or turn them into stone. That would be useful.
13. Would you go for happiness or money?
I want both!
14. Who do you think is the most important people in your life?
There is grammatical error in the bloody question. What 'is' and 'people'? Ok. Will just type. In no particular order... Kurei. My dad. Kaen. Duck. Hualin. Vivi. Hf. Err. My grandparents...
15. If you had a girlfriend/boyfriend, would you die for him/her?
No. Not even for Kurei. I'm serious.
16. Who's the last person who hugged you?
Err. My dad. I think. I usually initiate the hug... I'm proactive.
17. What is the one thing you want to do badly right now?
Get rid of my brother...
18. Who are you close to?
Huh? As in, relationship? Or distance? Distance is my brother...
19. Are you courageous enough to tell the person that you like him?
Yes.
20. If you could do one thing all over again what would it be?
Join gymnastics. Start dancing earlier. Cant choose.
21. 8 things that scare you
Not dying. Crazy people. My parents throwing away my manga horde. Losing my friends. No more food. My bed collapses with me on it. Putting on weight. Pests.
22. 8 things that you like/love the most
Dance. Music. Kurei. My bed. Food. Water. TV. Paper.
23. 8 important things in my room:
Bed. Cupboard. Fan. Handphone charger. Manga. Diary. Pillows. Windchime.
24. 8 ppl to do this questionnaire
Please dont do this!
Hmm. My answers are all so repetitive. Maybe I'm boring. Whatever.
Kakusei ~Dark and Light~ by Suwabe Junichi and Daisuke Ono
This is for my dear Kaen, who never fails to make me want to throttle her.
I'm writing it! I am! I'm on page 1! So wait! I'll give it to you on your birthday! Sheesh!
Barbie dolls ARE GAY.
I'm glad they didn't call. And WHY DO YOU WANT THEM TO CALL? Sheesh!
You owe me Suki Sa! How can you forget JUNJUN?!?!
1. Where would you go if someone sponsors you an air ticket?
Likely to be Japan. But I'll wonder who would be so nice... I mean, other than my family...
2. What's your favourite thing to do?
Eat. Sleep. And be merry. Cosplay. Listen to music.
3. Do you think money can buy happiness?
Yes.
4. If you were given a chance to receive something, what would it be?
Anything? Kurei. Duh!
5. Things that you cant live without:
Bed. Food. Water. Music. Books. Oxygen and carbon dioxide. Family. Friends. Seiyuus.
6. What are you afraid to lose?
Myself. Duh.
7. If you won US$1million, what would you do?
Won where??? Invest. Give to my parents. Pay for university. Buy a house in Emerald Hill. Don't think its enough though...
8. What do you dream of doing in the future?
Writing. Enjoying life. Sleeping. Dreaming some more...
9. List down 3 good things about the person who gave you this survey:
Err. Fun? Interesting? Errr...
10. What makes you happy?
Good food. Sufficient sleep. Money. Writing. Listening to music. Cosplay. Kurei. Yeah.
11. What kind of person do you hate the most?
Idiots. Stupid people. irritating people. Those who dont try. Backstabbers.
12. If you have a super power what would that be?
The ability to kill people with a glare. Or turn them into stone. That would be useful.
13. Would you go for happiness or money?
I want both!
14. Who do you think is the most important people in your life?
There is grammatical error in the bloody question. What 'is' and 'people'? Ok. Will just type. In no particular order... Kurei. My dad. Kaen. Duck. Hualin. Vivi. Hf. Err. My grandparents...
15. If you had a girlfriend/boyfriend, would you die for him/her?
No. Not even for Kurei. I'm serious.
16. Who's the last person who hugged you?
Err. My dad. I think. I usually initiate the hug... I'm proactive.
17. What is the one thing you want to do badly right now?
Get rid of my brother...
18. Who are you close to?
Huh? As in, relationship? Or distance? Distance is my brother...
19. Are you courageous enough to tell the person that you like him?
Yes.
20. If you could do one thing all over again what would it be?
Join gymnastics. Start dancing earlier. Cant choose.
21. 8 things that scare you
Not dying. Crazy people. My parents throwing away my manga horde. Losing my friends. No more food. My bed collapses with me on it. Putting on weight. Pests.
22. 8 things that you like/love the most
Dance. Music. Kurei. My bed. Food. Water. TV. Paper.
23. 8 important things in my room:
Bed. Cupboard. Fan. Handphone charger. Manga. Diary. Pillows. Windchime.
24. 8 ppl to do this questionnaire
Please dont do this!
Hmm. My answers are all so repetitive. Maybe I'm boring. Whatever.
Wishlist
Playlist
Be All Right by Suzumura Kenichi
Yup. I decided tro change the songs to those that I'm listening to at the moment. No point in putting down what I want. Most people have a) Never heard of it. b) Not interested in sharing. c) I feel like recommending stuff instead!
Its a strange feeling. This sense that its all over. No. I'm not talking about my life... I'm talking about my 12 years of formal education! I'm not sure if others feel the same way that I do, but honestly, it is very disconcerting. I mean, there is no real place that you HAVE to be anymore. There is no association that you have membership in. There is no place where you belong. The feeling, is, unpleasant. Oh well. All things come to an end. We just have to reattach ourselves to another entity...
On a much more hedonistic note, I am going to put up a wishlist. Make that two. What I want, and what I dont mind getting... All in no particular order...
WHAT I WANT:
1) Versailles new album, Noble
2) Any number of the magazine, VAMPS
3) SID's album, Jacket C ( it has a picture of a stag beetle on it)
4) Malice Mizer's album, Mervailles
5) Cute/ Gothic stuff eg. mirror
6) Gothic parasol
7) Discounts at good tailors...
8) Cosplay related stuff that I need, like a >80cm blonde wig, white beret...
9) Someone to teach me how to make Recca no Honoo Aoi's weapon!
10) Doujinshi... pencil boards... anime/manga paraphernalia...
11) Gadgets like a new hadphone, iPod...
Now for more practical things...
1) New pencil case... I need big pencil cases!
2) Wallet. Or a purse. Or something...
3) Handphone pouch. Preferably cute. With 'fur'.
4) Files. The thin pretty ones to put my short stories and fics in...
5) FRIENDS!
Yup!
See you all around!
" We age, we die. Life is but a box of worm-seed."
Be All Right by Suzumura Kenichi
Yup. I decided tro change the songs to those that I'm listening to at the moment. No point in putting down what I want. Most people have a) Never heard of it. b) Not interested in sharing. c) I feel like recommending stuff instead!
Its a strange feeling. This sense that its all over. No. I'm not talking about my life... I'm talking about my 12 years of formal education! I'm not sure if others feel the same way that I do, but honestly, it is very disconcerting. I mean, there is no real place that you HAVE to be anymore. There is no association that you have membership in. There is no place where you belong. The feeling, is, unpleasant. Oh well. All things come to an end. We just have to reattach ourselves to another entity...
On a much more hedonistic note, I am going to put up a wishlist. Make that two. What I want, and what I dont mind getting... All in no particular order...
WHAT I WANT:
1) Versailles new album, Noble
2) Any number of the magazine, VAMPS
3) SID's album, Jacket C ( it has a picture of a stag beetle on it)
4) Malice Mizer's album, Mervailles
5) Cute/ Gothic stuff eg. mirror
6) Gothic parasol
7) Discounts at good tailors...
8) Cosplay related stuff that I need, like a >80cm blonde wig, white beret...
9) Someone to teach me how to make Recca no Honoo Aoi's weapon!
10) Doujinshi... pencil boards... anime/manga paraphernalia...
11) Gadgets like a new hadphone, iPod...
Now for more practical things...
1) New pencil case... I need big pencil cases!
2) Wallet. Or a purse. Or something...
3) Handphone pouch. Preferably cute. With 'fur'.
4) Files. The thin pretty ones to put my short stories and fics in...
5) FRIENDS!
Yup!
See you all around!
" We age, we die. Life is but a box of worm-seed."
Tuesday, 11 November 2008
Answers
Music Request
The theme sog of Spirited Away. No idea whats the title. Its the party piece...
This is me breaking the rules. I can't help it! I know I said I won't go online!
Regarding the VKei quiz...
VIVIEN!!! YOU SO DEFINITELY CHEATED! UNFAIR! YOUR COMMENTS DON'T COUNT!
Ok. Most people got it wrong. Like obviously. Its not humanly possible to get it all right. Like I said, Vivien, you so TOTALLY cheated.
Anyhow... Photos 1 to 4 are all guys. Versailles. Phantasmogoria. Sectamateria. Blood+.
Photo 5 is all girls. Danger Gang.
The last photo... only the person, right smack in the middle of the front row, red kimono is female. Rest all guys. Yeah. One of the guys look like a Dance junior of mine. No. It should be the other way round. She's younger than him. Its the one on the right, showing side profile. Blue kimono.
" Everyting will come to an end... Regardless of whether you like it or not."
The theme sog of Spirited Away. No idea whats the title. Its the party piece...
This is me breaking the rules. I can't help it! I know I said I won't go online!
Regarding the VKei quiz...
VIVIEN!!! YOU SO DEFINITELY CHEATED! UNFAIR! YOUR COMMENTS DON'T COUNT!
Ok. Most people got it wrong. Like obviously. Its not humanly possible to get it all right. Like I said, Vivien, you so TOTALLY cheated.
Anyhow... Photos 1 to 4 are all guys. Versailles. Phantasmogoria. Sectamateria. Blood+.
Photo 5 is all girls. Danger Gang.
The last photo... only the person, right smack in the middle of the front row, red kimono is female. Rest all guys. Yeah. One of the guys look like a Dance junior of mine. No. It should be the other way round. She's younger than him. Its the one on the right, showing side profile. Blue kimono.
" Everyting will come to an end... Regardless of whether you like it or not."
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