Worth

Playlist

Vampire Depression by VAMPS

I think I'm going to be murdered for this blog post. But I think I'd feel like I'm a terrible friend if I didn't post this. The content, as a disclaimer as you know how much I like to warn people, is going to make you pissy. Like real pissy. So if you're just going to get mad and NOT THINK about why and what all these mean, please shelve and read this some other time. I'm your friend. I'm not a puppet. I'm not a parrot. I'm not polishing apples and licking boots. I'm saying this because you need it. It hurts and you can say I don't understand, but then again, how much of ANYTHING can we claim to understand? So yes. In bad mood now? DON'T READ. I never remove posts, as you all know, so you can read this after you cool down and calm down. I don't want to hurt you, but I think you need to think about this as well.

Humans are selfish. Selfless humans are virtually non-existant. I'm selfish. So are you. And everyone else out there. We want people to love us and be with us and care for us and do what we want them to do. Parents love their children, not the children of their colleagues and neighbours. We care for our friends, and not for random people. We cannot really connect beyond our community, so those who seem more caring just have a larger group encompassed within their definition of community. What am I trying to say? I'm in your community. I sincerely want to help you. I never meant to hurt you. I never meant for there to be any negatoive outcome of everything that I do and say. Nevertheless, life is never really the way that we dream and envision it to be. The road to Hell is paved with good intentions. And I'm sorry for being the one who did it. I'm really sorry. If you cannot forgive my good intentions, I can understand. There are some things that you never forgive, no matter who it is. I'm sorry.

I'm someone who wants to live up to expectations. I work very very hard not to disappoint. I'd jump through hoops of fire if it meant I could make the people I love smile. Of course there are negative expectations, and in those situations, its a circle of hurting each other. But overall? I've always worked hard to deliver what was expected and needed. My parents wanted good grades, so I study like my life depends upon it. My CCA mates need someone to rely on, so I become as dependable as I can be. I don't have to like it, I'll just do it if it ought to be done. Which may be the problem with me. You see, there are no emotions involved, and there is no issue of not possible. Especially with regard to my parents. If my parents wanted me to become a doctor, I think I would be studying medicine now. Its that simple. There is no room for failure, no room for non-performance. If it didn't come true, I think some part of my existence would cease to be. Some part of me would lose its meaning. So I fight to live by fighting to meet expectations. And thats the difference between you and me. 

You see, even if you failed, you would still have options. Even if things went wrong, there would always be a back door route for you. Its not the same for me, because I have no alternative. If I stray off the path, all I'd get is darkness. I cannot turn back and I cannot make a detour. I have to walk the path laid ahead of me to prove my existence. Of course, all the self-help books would tell you to break away and recreate your boundaries. Cross the border. Think out of the box. And other cliches. Well, I think people who don't even know that it is a box cannot escape. And even if you got out of the box, all you'd get is a bigger box. You're trapped forever, as long as you exist within that identity and body. You can't get away, as you disappear if you leave the path created for you. And like any other self preserving and selfish human being, I need to stay alive, which is why I'm where I am today. I can only be here. I cannot exist elsewhere. I sincerely hope that you can understand the difference between us now. It isn't that I'm smarter or faster or richer or better or anything. I'm just fighting desperately for survival while its a game for you. You can restart the game. reroll the dice. Me? All I have is one path out of this.

I'm not trying to make you sympathise with me. I don't need pity, because this is the only way I have. You don't pity an insect for having an exoskeleton. You don't pity a fish for not being able to breathe out of water. It just is the way things are. My way of life is the only one I know. Rather, why not try to make the best of your own situation? To me, I'm fine with the way I am because I have no alternative. You won't see me in parallel universes because there are no other choices for me to make. I have only one path. For you who has an alternative, why not explore you other options? If you were to realise that its a dead end on this path, why not change to another path? You can make the switch. All it needs is a bit of faith and some effort. Infinitely better then me who, no matter the effort and faith, will never be able to swap for anything else.

I hope you understand what I mean. I left this a wee bit obscure, I know. If you need clarification, tell me? I'll be here. No matter when, I'll be here for you, waiting.

"What is worth? Someone please tell me...?"

Rush

Playlist

Lupin by KARA

My brain is half dead. And yes, in case you were worried that school has started, the answer is NO. Its still the summer holidays. How do you tell? First, humidity and temperatures are soaring to greater heights. Second, there are no complaints about school work on my blog. Third, I'm half dead from being overworked by CCA, cosplay and CIP. See the 3Cs? The fourth will be the beginning of vulgarities being hurled at my life and my inane ability to overwork myself when I'm supposed to be vacationing and playing.

I need to go to the beach. Any takers?

There are times when I feel that modern people are just hastening their demise. We sleep so few hours that the prescribed 8 hours seem like a luxury instead of a necessity. We rush from place to place, as we think taking our own sweet time is a waste time. We schedule one activity after another as we think being lazy is a sin. We work our hair, socks and eyebrows off as we all need money to feed our narcisstic tendencies and material desires.We demand excellence and immediate responses so much that a slight delay aggravates us and makes us pissy. We eat rubbish, breathe in rubbish food and spew more rubbish out onto the streets. Personally, I think humans are disgusting, me included. So if I ever compare you to an animal, please be honoured. No, I'm not joking. 

I know full well that I have just returned form the nice and breezy HK. I know full well that the photos are no where to be seen online. I know full well that I'm supposed to be all happy and rested and LOVING every single minute that I'm engaged in meaningful community aiding activities. I know I'm supposed to be superbly happy about getting my photo taken after the long break. And I know that only in fairytales to you SUPPOSEDLY live happily ever after. After all, this is not a galaxy far far away. Nor is it once-upon-a-time-land. This is here and now. Not there. Not later. Its called the present, and like all gifts given by our dearest god almightly, its a double edged sword and jack-in-the-box combined. Its going tospring out at you and STAB YOU IN THE EYE. Yes, I'm still sane, most unfortunately. Else I'd plead insanity and go rest in IMH.

I ought to sleep earlier. My complexion is terrible. I think it is partially the allergic reaction when I was leaving for HK and my time of the month. Like everyone who knows me can tell, my face virtually explodes into a mass of pimples everytime I get my period. One look and you know which part of my monthly cycle I'm at. The nicer my complexion, the further away from my the bloddy thing. Sigh. I know its part of me being a girl, but it is so irrtating. Why can't I just lay eggs like chickens or something? Okay, I take that back. It'd be a huge pain to lay an egg first thing every morning. It might actually be even worse than bleeding 7 days of the month and sporting a pimple-filled face for 14 days of the month. Comparative evil and all. Guys have it easier in this aspect nyah~

On the topic of procreation, I think I'm going to give up on my goal. A bit too difficult. If you don't know what I am talking about, please pay more attention to me. I'm too lazy and irritated at having to continuously repeat myself. And in case you forgot, I don't like BOYS. I like MEN. I like guys who aren't busy chasing after whimisical games because they cannot be bothered to think more. The only person who can do that and get all my love is my younger brother. If you don't fit into the above mentioned category, stop thinking that I'm amused by your little antics. Monkey tricks are only appealing in the zoo or at the circus.

On a final note, I think those who think that all bloggers are eyeliner spamming bimbos ought to hurl themselves off the nearest skyscraper. I recommend a high rise building, preferably throw yourself off the ledge  above the 12th floor. Higher probability of death. And make sure that there is nothing but hard concrete on your way down. You'd make a wonderfully bloddy pancake on the sidewalk. Insulting buggers, to quote Winter. I like eyeliner, but I hardly ever use make-up. And I spam eyeliner only for a photoshoot and only because I have single eyelids. Sheesh! Imbeciles! I'm not a poodle toting bimbo! The only poodle are those balloons I sell! And those are for CHARITY. You can buy one from me at $2 if you wish. (Shameless plug)

Okay, I shall stop the ranting and raving....

"If results were everything, we'd stop living our lives because the end result is death."

Rail

Playlist

Last Game by Matenrou Opera

I miss my old self. The self that I was before all this nonsense began. The self who never questioned my instincts, and never buttered the truth. The self who would do things honestly, and unflinchingly take the punishment for mistakes. The self who faced the world with wide eyes, head on. I miss that me. I'm not certain that I can go back to that period of innocence. Lost and never to return. Its saddening. And infuriating. But deep down inside, I guess I acknowledge the fact that we all lose parts of ourselves along the way. Purity and innocence are ideals that we can scarce afford when we're surrounded by scheming wolves. Sure, I could hold on to these. Of course, this blog would have died out some 3 to 4 years ago. Oh yeah. That means it would never have existed in the first place! So yes. Survival of the fittest. Or in this case, those who can afford to lose more. Nevertheless, I miss myself. Hey, I'm entitled to sentimental feelings for the portions of my life I sacrificed!

There are times when I wake up in the morning and wonder what it is that keeps me ticking. What makes it such that I can wake up in the morning and not die at night? What makes it such that my heart still beats, my heart functions, my brain is processing away and all other bodily activities are a GO? And best of all, why do I keep waking up? If there is a higher purpose, I'd really like to find out, because I honestly feel that I'm barely better than a marionette. I'm doing the same things in the same old pattern every day. I'm going about my life with as much drive as a car with a dead battery. Which is to say that I'm dragging my feet all the way and not really putting in sufficient effort into anything. I think I'm a lucky gal, but I'm not doing enough? I'm not sufficiently motivated enough. Its not an external thing; I know I'm not one to be very driven by external circumstances. Internal motivation is sorely lacking.

I was at Borders that day and bought a full length kanji dictionary. I realised that while the online dictionaries were plenty cute and all, there are certain word applications that were absent. Of course, there are the more common words, but when I want to check the meaning of the phrase, the most online dictionaries can do is to give me the meaning of each individual kanji, and I'll have to put it all together. Yes, I'm able to understand Chinese, which makes studying Japanese much easier, but there are some combinations that are different. Nuances, as the Japanese adopted kanji so many hundred years ago and there has been a separate developement of kanji to suit the needs of the island nation. Chinese, on the other hand, was utilised by a larger community and has been directly modified by modern day culture (without katakana to buffer foreign words out) so its inevitable that there are differences. In case you're wondering, I'm NOT a linguistics professor. The sheer number of errors in my blog should be testament to that. I'm just a girl who happens to have been brought up in an Chinese family in an English speaking country, and have an interest in the Japanese language. I can read and write Chinese and English just fine, although I'm linguistically weaker in Chinese, with basic knowledge of Japanese. So I'm no expert, though I love the Chinese and Japanese language. Its so romantic, compared to English. The way the characters are formed, and the way the sentences are structured... Pretty~

Okay, I sound superbly biased. I'm not! The fact that this blog is in ENGLISH should be reason enough. I wouldn't be able to construct a blog like this in Chinese. For me, Chinese is a language close to my heart. I won't want to use it to blog, because you run the risk of overtly emoting and sounding like the blurb of some weepy drama serial. I'd probably sound like a primary school student if I were to blog in Chinese, and a toddler if I did so in Japanese. URGH. I need to hit the books again. either that or I need to be dropped into the middle of China or Japan. I'd prefer Japan, just so you know, because they have a better public transporatation system.

I believe I've happily went off tangent and derailed at some far off island in the middle of the Pacific. Pardon the pathetic attempt at humour. My life is boring ya know? So this is a short post, and I'll go see if there's anymore laundry that needs to be done. If there's one thing that is always present, its laundry. Did it on Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday and now? There are still clothes waiting to be washed. Other clothes waiting to be folded. And some waiting to be kept. The sad reality is that the cycle repeats.

"Is background noise is better than oppresive silence?"

Trip

Playlist

春風シャララ by D=Out
 

Back in Singapore. The trip to HK was pretty good overall. Of course there were irritating episodes with sales people, but I enjoyed my trip. I went with wonderful people and met more wonderful people than expected, so I think it was worth the time and money. It was a packed 5 days, so I think I'll just blog about whatever I can remember? I didn't really go to any really tourist-ish area, so there aren't many photos. What I did was to shop. Walk. Eat. Shop. Walk. And eat. Had loads of good food in HK. I think in HK, unlike SG, its harder to find awful food because most of the stores are the property and livelihood of the local people. A greater sense of pride in their store maybe? Anyhow, now that I'm back, I have no idea of what to eat! In HK I was out walking about, so I just entered any store that struck my fancy. Here, I need to detach myself from my chair and walk out to find food, the main difficulty being the detaching from my chair part. And the finding food part. No idea what to eat nowadays...

Stayed in a pretty decent hotel with HL and Viv. 2 Queen sized beds with a pretty big shower. I forgot to take photos, but trust me, it was alright. It was fun to room with HL and Viv. Quite an interesting combination. I wouldn't say that they became best friends, but I think the both of them got along? I was kinda afraid that there would be queer silences where neither wants to speak to the other because they can't tolerate the other but... Yeah, it turned out okay. Nevertheless, I felt kinda bad for both HL and Viv. HL because she wanted to shop, but out of consideration for both me and Viv, toned it down. As for Viv, I could tell that the last place she wanted to be was that mall, whatever it was called. I think it would have been easier on her if it was more tourist-ish things that we wanted to do, rather than the monotonous pattern of checking out every single shop along Tsim Tsa Tsui to see if they stock that particular shoe I wanted. YES. We went into virtually every shoe store to see if they stocked that ONE particular pair of heels that I wanted. Single minded determination. Or you can peel back that layer of fluff and say that I'm a stubborn pig. While I did say that I had given up, I still went into each and every shop to scan for that pair of shoes. Finally found it after exhausting Viv. She would enter the shop, find the chair, plop down and then I would appear and say those two words that would send us all walking again. "I'm done." I think she hates me now.

Other than our madcap adventure to search for one pair of heels, we shop hopped as well. I managed to get a two pretty decent dresses, although one of them, on hindsight, is very much overpriced. But I like the design, so... HAHA. I'm going to ignore the expenditure as much as possible. Other than that, I stupidly bought an oversized satin bustier that I will probably see if my tailor can alter, a pair of socks, a pair of tights, a waist belt, a white eyeliner, and a pair of hot shorts that will only look flattering on me if I suddenly became skinny like Kaen. Which is like... NEVER. So in conclusion, I should never buy on impulse. NEVER. EVER. Anyhow, I got more basics later on when I met up with my parents, namely a vest and a cardigan. And then I found a really cool looking denim skirt. I got annother pair of tights. And then I found this jumper skirt-ish thing which I bought. Followed by bangles that I love and ADORE. I bought EXILE's latest album at HMV, and a Japanese fashion magazine to entertain me on the flight back. This is about everything inedible that I purchased, other than my MTR cards. OH YEAH. I got a present for Kaen too! Personally, I don't think I bought a lot of things. Most of these are wardrobe basics, and I can share them with my mum. Yup~

Shopping for others in HK is really difficult! Wanted to get things for my brother... But there was nothing appropriate for a reasonable sum of money. Everything was about a hundred, and there is NO WAY I will buy fugly teeshirts just so that I get something for my Smacky. Over my dead and rotting body! Wanted to get presents for others too, but it just didn't work out. Unless I buy food, repeated presents or cute and useless articles... Yeah. Not appealing AT ALL. Nothing screamed at me to get for anyone in particular. So sorry my dears! Next time, come with me and play! The experience would be loads better than presents I think?

I've come to realise that I tend to reply more on my parents when I'm with them. When I'm with my friends, I am much more conscious of my surroundings. I would notice the location, the direction I'm travelling, how much money I spend, the people around me... Everything. When with my parents? HAHA. I thought I misplaced my passport when it was lying in my bag all along. Utter panic. I'm way more careless, and I put my things everywhere. I'm less conscious of where I am, and I behave like I'm 15. Seriously immature. No wonder my parents worry about me while my friends do not. I think I should really leave my home for a while. Make myself more independent, turn it into a habit and stop over-relying on my parents. Be an adult. Explore the differenet facets of my personality. Stress myself. gain experience. I sound like Pokemon trainer. HAHA. Not funny. I'm a university student, and yet I'm a kid in front of my parents. I should stop being a spoilt brat so they will stop treating me like a spoilt brat. Sigh. Life is never as clear cut and simple as we try to make it out to be.

Given a choice, I think the most is one more vacation in HK. I want to spend an entire day at Ocean Park. Shopping wise, I already know where to go, so I suppose it'd be much easier the next time round. Four days should do it. One full day at Ocean Park, unless it gets so boring that I have to escape into the malls. I suppose the main thing that I've learnt in this trip is to buy what you want, because you're unlikely to go back to the same shop again. As with life, we should do what is to be done at that point in time because we're unlikely to have a second go at it. Like the shop you can't find again, life can become full of missed opportunities. Personally, I don't have any thing that I regret not buying, although there are things that I regret getting. Nevertheless, isn't it better to regret having bought it and work to rectify the situation? I don't want to be moping about something that I did not get. Then again, I don't think I'm the type to mope too much about what I missed out on. The future is to malleable for me to know that the path I did not take would be better. My two cents worth of blog wisdom so that you keep reading.Just to let you know, the pillow in the hotels STINK. I might as well as had slept on the bed alone. It was FLAT. SHEESH. My shoulder was killing me!

There were no real adventures in HK. I misplaced my Airport Express MTR while looking for my dad's hotel? I don't think that counts for anything. There was nothing terribly exhilirating nor boring, it was just life experience. I think the funny thing is how HL, Viv and I kept having dessert as a main course. Not that it was awful, but the amount of sugar... I hope I burnt it off by walking. And for the record, I walked from Tsim Tsa Tsui to Mongkok and back to Jordan with my parents. I think HK is great for walking as the weather is nice and breezy. Not like SG with the insufferable heat and humidity. One step outside my home and I start to perspire. Ridiculous weather we have here at the equator. Good thing SG has nice people, or I'll bever come back. I miss my friends and family too much to stay away, although it most certainly is VERY tempting. I wonder if anyone will really miss me if I was to go for exchange? Will you? I hope so. It'd be sad if no one would ever miss me at all. Sigh. Good thing there is the internet.

Okie. Back to life on this side of the planet. Loads of things coming up. I really want to meet up with friends and curl up with them. Yeah, sound weird, but I think all my friends understand what I mean. I want to stay with them and read a book/magazine or sleep on the cool marble floor with aircon. They can do whatever they want. I want company more than entertainment. Yes, I'm very much like a rabbit in this aspect. If you don't get the reference, you need to read more manga! HAHA.

I'll update this post if there is anything that I have missed out. Unlikely, but a possibilty nonetheless. The few photos I took will go up on Facebook by the end of the week if I have some time and if Facebook decides to cooperate with me. I might PhotoShop some of my photos as I had an allergic reaction the morning I boarded the flight. My face and neck was reddish and there were spots here and there. My skin is still recovering from the outbreak now. So yes. I look superbly ugly in my photos. Red. Spotty. Fat. Bad combination. The itch was unbearable on the flight, and I was in a cramped space because it was a budget flight, with poor air, also because it was a budget flight... Please do not expect me to look like I stepped out of a salon. No such thing. My skin was slightly less irritated after I did a mask, but it was still horrible. The return flight just aggravated it. Yes, the return flight was less cramped and had better ventilation, but still... Sigh. If I'm too lazy to care, I'll just upload the pictures, me with spots and all. Otherwise... HAHA. Yes, just stay tuned~

On a side note, I gained 1 whole kilogram! OMG. I will go and train and lose that weight TOMORROW. (There's cheer anyway~)

"We'll all play and laugh and live like fireflies in the summer night, short-lived, but glowing and beautiful"

Away

Playlist

Sunrise by D=Out

OH MY. I just realised that I am twelve hours away from boarding at the airport! Feels so unreal. As if it isn't tomorrow that I'll be in Hong Kong. At this time tomorrow, I'll be so far from home... Unbelievable!

I think this will be a short post, because I feel about as awake as a sleeping sloth. No idea why, but I'm pretty sleepy now. I don't think I'd go to sleep per se as I have to sleep earlier tonight. Don't want to be too awake at midnight when I'm suppose to be getting my beauty sleep, though I'm likely to be too excited to sleep too early. I'm suppose to be waiting for HL's dad at 430am at the bus stop so... Yes, sleep is essential.

My luggage has loads of space as of now. I think its because I pack like a guy (told to me by friends and family members). I'm only using about half the space? Inclusive of my mum's stuff. So in essence, only about 40%? But light is good, because both my elbows are a bit kooky. Sprained my right elbow,while the left is recovering. Personally, I don't think its THAT bad, although the Chinese doctor was aghast at how I managed to survive 3 days without going to her. She promptly bandaged my elbow and told me not to carry anything heavy for a week. Not possible, but I'll do my best to use more of my left hand? Is about 5kg heavy? Cause thats about the weight of my luggage. 1kg plus of stuff, while the bag is about 3kg plus. Is that heavy? I mean I could carry it with my left hand, but I think my left hand will get tired if its a long distance? And I have no intention of making V nor HL carry my things.

My current worry is that the flight will be noisy. And that will mean that I can't appreciate the full glory of my Tofu. My earphones are the normal in-ear earphones, so they have no noise cancelling function. Which is bad if the flight is going to be noisy. I want to nick my dad's earphones (mid range Audio Technica WITH noise cancelling), but he's going to fly to Korea and then to Hong Kong before coming back. I know he isn't as dependent as I am on music, but I'd feel bad for him. I wanted to invest in a proper pair of headphones, but I rarely travel (compared to my dad), and my current pair is sufficient for my daily commute and home use. So what am I to do? Any suggestions? If my dad did offer the use of his headphones, I'd take him up on his offer immediately. Its just that its rude to demand so much from him. And offer is different from a demand dears~

Okays, in Hong Kong, I will only have brief internet connection every night at around 10pm to 11pm. If there's anything that you need to tell me, please SMS or email me. MSN is unavailable on my Tofu, which is what I'm bringing along. I have no laptop, so all stuff that needs saving and extracting will be ignored. I'm not silly enough to bring a 3kg laptop, no matter how much baggage allowance I have. So yes. SMS, I'll reply only if its urgent, else I'd wait to email you. Emails will be replied to as well. If you don't know my email address? Ask KAEN. Or WINTER. Or SD. For people looking for me for school related stuff, use OUTLOOK to find my name. I'm the only person with this name in the entire SCHOOL.

Wish me fun, good health, safety okay? I'll bring back food if its possible. And if I see something and think of you, I'll get you something too~

"たとえ世界が終わろうとも　ただ貴方といたいだけ 誰も彼もうらやむ　ここが楽園なのさ..."

Game

Playlist

Genesis by Matenrou Opera

New single by Matenrou Opera. Not the most interesting single out there, but its decent listening. Hey, I'm pretty much desperate! Nice songs are never enough because there's always a need for a different song depending on your mood. Sometimes Laruku songs are too familiar. Sometimes Versailles songs are too pompous for me to enjoy. Sometimes Mao sounds too annoying. Sometimes Kato Kazuki songs are too simple. Sometimes Deluhi songs are too messy. Sometimes Sono's voice is too nasal for prolonged listening. And sometimes, Epik High is absolutely BORING. So yes, new songs are always good. I never know when I'd be in a strange mood and in need of a certain type of song. There should be some software to help us classify songs by their type so that I can match it to my mood. And I don't mean the genre!

Its been an action packed few days. Cheer summer trainings have started, and I've developed my arm, core and leg muscles better thanks to trying to outdo the guys. Ridiculous eh? I know I can't run as fast and I can't carry as much weight, but I can keep at it longer. If there's one thing I'm proud of, its my stubborn and competitive nature, never mind the aching muscles and sheer exhaustion that soon sets in. I can't match a doctor in knowledge about illnesses, but I can always aim to be better in other areas. After all, absolute strength and weaknesses aren't really applicable among average individuals in real life. If you can't outrun them, outglam them! On the topic of cheerleading and glamour, I made it onto the cover of some trade magazine for a certain company. I'm not happy my dears. Not the least because it wasn't an issue about us, but we were just used as arm candy. Fishcakes, guppies and starfishes! They lied to us nyah, and I'm angry. I hate being used. A free tee shirt does not even barely cover the time, effort and trust that was betrayed. You'd better watch out~

RIGHT! I went to Celine's house to play Wii! It was fun smacking guileless looking rabbits with a shovel. It was also fun to send the same rabbit airborne to measure the distance covered before smashing to the ground. Similarly, I had fun squirting carrot juice to drown rabbits. The fun never ends with Wii. Too bad I don't have a Wii, and its highly unlikely that I'd get one. Enjoyable, but these games are a wee bit too sadistic for the conscience that I'm nurturing to approve of. Also, there's the issue of cost. And the fact that most of the games that I enjoy are found on other platforms. man, I wish I was mad rich, so I could get a PSP, a PS3, a Wii, a Nintendo and Xbox360. Oh the games that I could play! Okay, I shall not fantasize too much. Reality would hurt more if I was living in LaLaLand any more than now. A healthy dose of reality is in order.

On another note, I finally managed to meet up with all the NUS and NTU people who had been missing in my life for the past few weeks. It really feels good to be there with them. I guess I've missed all of you loads? Its been a while since I've sat down and talked to people about things other than projects and subject related issues. Its not that we completely avoid school related stuff, more that I know that I can keep the conversation going even without numerous references to projects. Frankly, its a relief. I don't have to continue to be nice to people for the sake of grades and appearances. I don't have to say nice things to convince people to work together and motivate them to work. I can say anything that strikes my fancy, and I don't have to worry if people will misinterpret and stab me in the back. Oh, the relief~

I'll be in Hong Kong in a few more days. As mentioned, its super unreal! I'm actually looking for a leather skirt. Not a cow leather, crocodile leather nor pig leather (if there is such a thing). I'm looking for man-made leather, NOT PVC. I'm not stupid. PVC and leather is two very different things. So I want a leather skirt. Black would be nice, but I'm open to other colours if its pretty. Why do I want a leather skirt? I think its a staple of any decent wardrobe. Instant street cred, and its easy to match clothes with leather as well. I've a baby face, so I carry off a more punk look better than most. Well, I won't look OLD, more of a cute and slightly mischievous feel. Well, at least that is what I've been told. If you see a decently priced leather skirt, please tell me okay? Thanks!

"Nonsense is worth its weight in gold... Nonsensical gold of course!"

Wish

Playlist

Dolce by Matenrou Opera

I cannot believe that I will be in Hong Kong in less than 10 days. It feels utterly unreal. With my friends, and later on with my family. Hong Kong. The last time I went there was in August in 2007 I think. It was the middle of the raining season with typhoon warnings everyday. Just kept raining and raining and raining. We even had to stay indoor for some 10 hours because of a huge typhoon on the day we were suppose to go Ocean Park. In essence, BAD. I really hope the rain won't dampen my mood this time. If it was to rain every single day again... I think I'll forget about Hong Kong and just fly to Taiwan instead in the future. I like Hong Kong because of the food and shopping. Its also relatively safe, and the transportation system is decent. And these are the very qualities that Taiwan possess as well. Okay, I like Hong Kong food more than Taiwanese food. So yes. Please let the weather be nice~

I went to the library a few times after my exams, and I've realised that I've become even more picky about the stuff that I read. As if I'm not picky enough. Sigh. So now every trip to the library is like a treasure hunt to find a book. I'm considered LUCKY if I so much as find a single book that I like. Somedays, its so bad that I resort to reading comics instead of fiction. Maybe the problem isn't with me, but rather with the books in the library? Alternatively, if everyone borrows all the nice books, what am I to read? Reread all the previous books I like? Wait. Or maybe there is a problem with the method I employ to find books? So many silly questions, but when you really want to read something, its really irritating to not be able to find anything suitable. Its this sense of abject frustration. So infuriating and annoying! Anyone has any books that they'd recommend? Please? I'm near desperation!

Went out with my grandparents today. I like going out with them. There's no stress to be someone I'm not. I can behave anyway that i choose, and I know they wouldn't bat an eyelid with respect to my attitude and behaviour. Okay, I admit that its partially because I really love my grandparents. Reagrdless of what they said against me... I'm glad that they kept their end of the agreement to bring me up. I'm not EVIL nor ungrateful. The greatest insult to me would be that I'm a traitor. I don't betray people. Period.

Hungry. Shall go for dinner~ Food makes the world go round!

"Follow your heart to your destination."