Contrast

Today was one of the rare few days that made me feel like an anti-social freak of nature cum social animal. Never said that I was consistent. It was really simple. I was talking to Duck, and she was telling me these things about her OG and her class, all nice and wonderful things... All which only contributed to the sinking feeling within me. Every thing she said gave me this sensation that I was this problematic child who can't really cooperate with the people around her, hence this dread for attending school, that if I really tried, I'd find A02 to be this group of nice, caring and interesting individuals. Yeah, right. I'd sooner be able to convince myself that I could fly. However, when I compared myself to this other friend of mine, I felt like a party animal. She really detests her class and school, to the extent that she feels being by herself, or me, is like salvation. Now I know why some say they mug to live. Which is precisely what I'm starting to do. I mug because I'm bored. There is nothing else left to do except mug to leave this school for university. Both Tng and I have arrived at this rather suddening conclusion after a long and heartfelt chat with each other. Its pretty shocking, especially when you realise that just 2 years ago, if someone had told you that you would become like this, you would have most probably laughed yourself senseless and walked away without a second thought. Life is so surprising.

Ahh. I think I'm a naturally pessimistic optimist. I have pretty high expectations of myself, along with low demands out of the people I know. So I'm often able to smile at others as they easily surpass my ocean-bed low expectations... But when I'm with myself, I would constantly berate myself, constantly reflecting, correcting, altering my attitude and behaviour to my ideal. I treat everyone with this certain system. I give them the benefit of the doubt and three chances when they let me down. I'll respect you as a human and a person, be considerate for your feelings and I'll reciprocate whatever vibe you put across to me. That means if you're a chirpy person I'll change my mindset to that of a happy-go-lucky person; if you're deep, I'll consider my actions very carefully and explain my reasoning. All these seem to be very idealistic qualities to have, but it isn't. As I need time to get to know a person's vibe, I tend to seem cold and arrogant to many as I analyse what to attitude to exude. Some would also find me rather boring. Sighx. Life is unfair.

I simply love Spirit Way. Not as deep as Rakuen No Mukou E, but very pleasnt nonetheless. Its a soothing, encouraging song, which makes your heart pound faster and faster and faster... Even better then the piece for SYF. There are these parts which are really smooth and soft, floaty even, and the chorus is fast and impactful. Its the perfect song to dance to, smooth and fluid at certain parts and energetic at others... Its simply the best to show 'breathing' of the body. The song is definitely addictive.

Haha. I just read what I typed. It seems as though I'm writing a review of Spirit Way. Well, whatever. Atobe is hot, Suwabe Junichi's voive (or Okiayuu Ryoutaro) is sexy and exactly how I want my boyfriend/husband to sound like and ... Spirit Way could make all the pain ebb out of you heart and pour to the ground as a river...