End

Playlist

High High by G-Dragon and T.O.P.

The last day of the calender year. Not like it makes that big of a difference. School just starts in 4 days and I need to write 2011 instead of 2010. Life goes on without worrying about the changing days. Just a way for us humans to keep track of time. Because we suck without visual aids...

I feel weird. First and foremost I am not ill. Secondly, I feel that I am changing. I am not sure why, but I can feel it. The way I dress, the way I speak, the way I do things. Getting more vicious. Less truthful. There are times when I am sorely tempted to lie and not tell the truth. All for fun. And to try my luck. Because I am angry at something that I have yet to realise, and my subconcious is rebelling to make itself feel better. You see, I have a pretty good relationship with my subconscious. So when it gets mad at me and refuses to tell me why exactly it is beahiving in these peculiar ways, I am very much troubled. Not a good thing if I do things without control. My inner girl is not a very nice person. She is easily jealous, very possesive, likes trouble and has a very warped sense of humour. If you think I am weird and horrid, I feel my subconcious is someone you may not want to meet.
And somehow, she is creeping out. Maybe I have been a bit too stressed and the walls are coming down. Or perhaps there is truly a need for a badder me to exist in my current environment. I might have been a wee bit arrogant about my self control and been negligent? And maybe I am thinking too much and dramatising everything again. Maybe.

Some things never change though, and for that I am grateful. Thank you for the bits of normality in my life.

And so this year ends like this. Last post of the year...

"I'll always change, and always be the same..."