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Ivory and irony by DELUHI

Happy New Year! A new calender year... Wow. Depressing thought. I have to live through yet another year of my life. As if suffering twenty odd years was not enough. Ok, this is a bit to sombre, so I  shall just halt the topic. I shall just go ahead and attribute this to the fact that I had only 4 hours of sleep after staying awake for a full 24hours. Not in the best of moods now. Groggy due to a lack of sleep and a wee bit annoyed... I want to curl back in bed, and roll around with my bear and pillows while watching it rain on the outside. Which is obviously impossible in my household. My family is pretty crazy about doing the correct things at the right time. Breakfast is in the morning at around 8am. Lunch is at noon. Dinner is at 6pm. Bedtime is 11pm. Something like that. So when I do things that go past the prescribed timings... Yeah, things get a wee bit prickly and problems start cropping up left right and centre. Not a good idea. I shall just hold on for another few hours before surrendering to my bed. meanwhile, please forgive me if the sentence structure, grammar, spelling or syntax is weird. Functioning in spite of a severe lack of sleep does not bode well for the coherence of this post...

I think 2010 taught me a lot of things. I learnt that I can survive in a foreign country where I didn't understand a word of what is being said. I learnt that I can make friends on the go, and good friends at that. I learnt not to make too many plans, and to always expect the worst. I learnt to appreciate people more, and not take the things I have for granted. I learnt what it is like to fall in love and out of love, and to have to be the one to break the bad news. I learnt that if I tried, I could make a difference. And more importantly, I learnt that sometimes, no matter how hard you work, some things just don't belong to you.

Perhaps many of these lessons will be further enforced in 2011. Very possible, and I'm likely to suffer a lot and learn a lot more. Another year in SMU and Flare. More things to deal with, more people to work with. I have so many things that I fear, but all these need to be done. I do not have much of a choice in the matter, so I'll just fight my way through. I guess the worst thing that could happen would be failure. And the best... Perhaps I will really do well? I'm not sure, but I am none too optimistic about this year. There is this nagging suspicion that I have just spent the best years of my life. Wasted it all away, and no moment can be retrieved except in my memories. Oh dear. I feel worried for myself. I wonder if it is the lacking of sleep amplifying all my fears, or am I really this depressed?

Strange post for the start of a strange and unknown new year. I might be falling ill form the combination of my retainers and the lack of sleep. Killer pairing that might make it difficult from the start. And here I was thinking that I was finally breaking the chain of bad luck where I am always falling ill on the first day of every new calender year. And this is the year that I officially become an adult. Ah, I can feel the burden increasing. Expectations galore, and I am not getting any younger with each pasisng year. I might just be too old for the things that I am doing now...

"A new year is just another unit of measurement of time..."