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Paranoid Doll by Gackt

Second week of school and things are falling into the usual term pattern. Its all waking in time to go to school, doing my best to pay attention and learn in class and rushing around for cheer. Busy as a bee and bored three thousand ways to hell. Yeah. Welcome back to reality, normality and inertia. Days drag past, and I desperately seek new markers to count the passing of time. As if everything melds into one, where waking and sleeping seems to blend into each other. I can barely remember what I did yesterday because yesterday feels like now and last week feels like a blur of emptiness.

No I am not being 'emo'. Just remarking on the very unremarkable nature of daily life after the excitement of BSM in New York and Montreal, holidays in New York and Taiwan and that brief adventure called JENESYS. As if I am still in a dream when I should be back in reality. Daily life is a blur, broken by certain jarring moments, but its as if its not 'real' enough to awaken me, and I soon fall back into m semi-zombie state yet again. Not certain if this is a blessing or a curse, but I am effectively blocking out ceryain worries? Everything I do now is short term in nature. Nothing much past 2 weeks. No real plans for September or October. Which means I am still in holiday mode. Ho hum.

As you can see, my life lacks excitement. So I am kinda on a look out for new things to try and do? I am actually rather worried about my gypsy nature. Travelling around, always eager for new things and never really commiting full scale... I foresee a lot of potential problems? Yeah, I have learnt a lot from my various experiences, but I think I have little staying power? As if I am not sufficiently dedicated. I do not think I have this problem with people, but with things in life... Not sure if this affliction will spread to the other parts of my life. I think its already bad enough that I cannot settle down on one activity... Then again it might be because I feel bored in my CCA? Hmm. I wonder...

Short post, because I am being distracted by my Accounting homework and Gackt. HAHA. Or if you prefer, its about time this distraction of blogging while doing work was put to an end? I must admit that it has been a while since I have listened to songs by Gackt, so its a nice change to hear him. Crazy guy with a good voice. Too bad he seems to be getting lazier recently and is mainly just releasing remixes of his older songs. Not sure about his other fans, but I personally dislike artistes who constantly do nothing but release remixes in the hopes of earning money the 'easy' way. One new song, a remix of an old song, one off vocal version of both does not qualify as a single. I know this is the business model adopted by many artistes, but in this modern age, I think I would prefer something like 2 new songs per single at least? Indeed, its called a single, but at least reward the hardcore fans who purchase your CDs in this digital age of ripping music? Albums may now be a dying trend, but for many of us fans, we still like holding the CD booklet and staring at the pretty artwork? Of course I am assuming the artistes put effort into the CD? This is something the Japanese could learn from their Korean counterparts. Make the CD something so gorgeous your fans MUST buy it. Or follow the AKB voting method. 10,000 CDs bought by one hardcore fan. Insanity.

I'd like it if singles included the PVs too? I try to support the artiste by watching on YouTube as many times as humanely possible? it is super tempting to rip it off the internet, but I do feel guilty if I don't support my favourites. I mean what kind of nasty fan would just continuously rip music off the internet? Not like it is THAT expensive to buy albums off iTunes or Amazon. The full 2NE1 new album costs something like USD$2 per track? Full album for USD$8. Sure, I am mighty sad that I cannot admire their pretty CD booklets, but for poorer people, I think around ten bucks is decent. Its just one less dinner outside in a proper eating place. Eat home packed food for 2 days and it covers the music you will enjoy for about a month. Hey, artistes need to eat too?

Ok, this turned into some mightier than thou rant. Sorry! I must admit to my own misdeavours too, but if possible, I really believe in supporting the artistes? If not possible... Well official YouTube Channel gives them revenue too? If still not possible, well. I'm sorry but yeah. Life interferes I know.

"もし生まれかわれるなら...この声の少女のように ... 歌声で人を救えるような... 存在になりたいと思うんだ..."