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Starships by Nicki Minaj
So I have been trying to exercise with a greater degree of consistency lately. Started running regularly in late May, and from once a week when I could squeeze time out, it is now something like 3km to 5km, twice to four times a week, with static exercises after or as a replacement when it rains etc.
So far, after about a month and a half, I have effectively shed about one proper kilogram of weight. From the horrific 59kg, bordering on 60kg when I have around 5 meals a day, I’m now about 57kg, usually 58kg after the water retention and 4 meals a day. Of course my weight fluctuates based on the amount of water I retain or lose, I'm sometimes plus minus a kilogram. I will admit that the numbers are nothing fabulous considering the lengthy time frame, but my clothes, especially my pants, are slightly looser around the thighs, and my top two abs are slightly more well defined than, well, a lump. I take the better fit of my clothes as a more positive sign, because I suppose the ultimate aim is to reduce fat and build more lean muscle. Besides, I am attempting to lose weight through the least... Unnatural way possible.
I know the running is working, because my metabolic rate has increased quite a bit. I cool down and warm up much faster than before, running is less tiring, and the jiggly feeling that I often get when running has almost all but disappeared. Indeed, running with slight static after is probably one of the slowest means of losing weight, but I think its better than forcing myself to swear off lava cake and ice cream immediately. Weights are troublesome because it takes time to calibrate and I have to go to the school gym. CCA is ridiculous, because my schedule has too many conflicts for it to be possible. Considering how most sports require a location and partners... Running is still the best option.
So far, after about a month and a half, I have effectively shed about one proper kilogram of weight. From the horrific 59kg, bordering on 60kg when I have around 5 meals a day, I’m now about 57kg, usually 58kg after the water retention and 4 meals a day. Of course my weight fluctuates based on the amount of water I retain or lose, I'm sometimes plus minus a kilogram. I will admit that the numbers are nothing fabulous considering the lengthy time frame, but my clothes, especially my pants, are slightly looser around the thighs, and my top two abs are slightly more well defined than, well, a lump. I take the better fit of my clothes as a more positive sign, because I suppose the ultimate aim is to reduce fat and build more lean muscle. Besides, I am attempting to lose weight through the least... Unnatural way possible.
I know the running is working, because my metabolic rate has increased quite a bit. I cool down and warm up much faster than before, running is less tiring, and the jiggly feeling that I often get when running has almost all but disappeared. Indeed, running with slight static after is probably one of the slowest means of losing weight, but I think its better than forcing myself to swear off lava cake and ice cream immediately. Weights are troublesome because it takes time to calibrate and I have to go to the school gym. CCA is ridiculous, because my schedule has too many conflicts for it to be possible. Considering how most sports require a location and partners... Running is still the best option.
Sure, my knee is slightly more creaky than before, but what is a bit of discomfort, not pain mind you, when I’m getting lighter and happier? Technically I’m never supposed to run again but I need to shed the weight to make life easier for my knee because I cannot crash my diet successfully so… Yes a Catch 22 situation that I am feebly attempting to reduce by slight controls on my diet. There is no reason to self implement a system that I will relish breaking. The rebellious streak in me just loves breaking things apart, to the extent that strict diet controls will fail horribly, regardless of how hard I try to convince myself that it is ultimately beneficial. Rules and I don't make for good bedfellows.
I think prohibitive diets make me crave sweets even MORE. And I have a horrible sweet tooth. So I will ration my sweets consumption to when I feel depressed and/or suicidal/murderous, and just make healthier choices where possible. Knowing my personality, this is probably the best way about it.
Furthermore, the endorphin high that kicks in after the run makes me feel so good. I’m happy! For a change I’m happy!
Anyhow, I tried this figure hugging top in a shop today, and I can safely say that, other than a slight lower abdominal pouch which I am working to deflate, leaner thighs and arms… Generally I am slightly less displeased with my body. I would not ask for another body, but I would like to improve it. There are things I like, like how my nails grow and my eyelashes curl naturally. There are things I have come to accept, like how I've single eyelids and a generally flat Asian face. And then there are things I would like to change, such as my evident lack of substantial triceps and the heinous excessive fat agglomeration around my thighs.
People around me have not exactly been supportive of my exercise regime though. Gotten numerous comments about how I’m not fat, how its ‘too much’, how I’m ‘crazy’… Which is utterly depressing to say the least. I’m aiming for a healthier life and a leaner and stronger frame. Shouldn’t I be worried if I am carrying with me unnecessary fats that will impede my lifestyle? High blood pressure, diabetes, high blood cholesterol… All of these start from having an unhealthy lifestyle and fats play a large role in these illnesses. The icing on the cake? I’m predisposed to all these because I’ve relatives with these illnesses. Now tell me again that I’m doing ‘too much’. Hey, all I am doing is running and static. I am not starving myself. I am not clocking 10km everyday. I am not attempting marathons. I am not going under the knife. All I am doing is run and static. Maximum workout time is an hour, usually half and hour to forty five minutes!
Believe me, I am not aiming for zero fats. My brain would die and my body processes will fail. I’m aiming for something like 15% to 18%, sufficient to keep myself warm, my brain functioning and most importantly severely reduce my chances of getting the suite of ‘rich man’ illnesses that I am, most unfortunately, genetically vulnerable to.
Think of it this way: I don’t need people to run with me. Neither do I need people to gym with me. I will not force people to eat the things I do. You don’t need to participate in my lifestyle change; all I ask is that you support my decision to get moving and do SOMETHING about how I’m wasting my body away.
You see, I’m not forcing you to get off your fat ass and run. Neither am I going to ask you to strengthen your heart muscles and lungs. Yeah, you don’t drink so your liver should be fine. And you don’t smoke, so you probably won’t get lung cancer. But what about your heart, the blood vessels, your kidneys and all the other organs in your body? When one fails, all the rest tend to go at the same time. I want to maintain my standard of living, thank you very much. According to the fortune teller, I will, most unfortunately, live to around seventy years old and die from either heart or lung problems. If possible, I would rather not die slowly and/or painfully, so pardon me while I pursue the elusive ideal of health.
People around me have not exactly been supportive of my exercise regime though. Gotten numerous comments about how I’m not fat, how its ‘too much’, how I’m ‘crazy’… Which is utterly depressing to say the least. I’m aiming for a healthier life and a leaner and stronger frame. Shouldn’t I be worried if I am carrying with me unnecessary fats that will impede my lifestyle? High blood pressure, diabetes, high blood cholesterol… All of these start from having an unhealthy lifestyle and fats play a large role in these illnesses. The icing on the cake? I’m predisposed to all these because I’ve relatives with these illnesses. Now tell me again that I’m doing ‘too much’. Hey, all I am doing is running and static. I am not starving myself. I am not clocking 10km everyday. I am not attempting marathons. I am not going under the knife. All I am doing is run and static. Maximum workout time is an hour, usually half and hour to forty five minutes!
Believe me, I am not aiming for zero fats. My brain would die and my body processes will fail. I’m aiming for something like 15% to 18%, sufficient to keep myself warm, my brain functioning and most importantly severely reduce my chances of getting the suite of ‘rich man’ illnesses that I am, most unfortunately, genetically vulnerable to.
Think of it this way: I don’t need people to run with me. Neither do I need people to gym with me. I will not force people to eat the things I do. You don’t need to participate in my lifestyle change; all I ask is that you support my decision to get moving and do SOMETHING about how I’m wasting my body away.
You see, I’m not forcing you to get off your fat ass and run. Neither am I going to ask you to strengthen your heart muscles and lungs. Yeah, you don’t drink so your liver should be fine. And you don’t smoke, so you probably won’t get lung cancer. But what about your heart, the blood vessels, your kidneys and all the other organs in your body? When one fails, all the rest tend to go at the same time. I want to maintain my standard of living, thank you very much. According to the fortune teller, I will, most unfortunately, live to around seventy years old and die from either heart or lung problems. If possible, I would rather not die slowly and/or painfully, so pardon me while I pursue the elusive ideal of health.
Therefore, stop telling me to be a lazy bum who cannot be bothered to cherish her body. I am doing so. In my own way.
Thank you.
Thank you.
"Why don't you understand how I feel? Why don't I understand how you feel?"
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