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ヒトヒラのハナビラ by Stereo Pony

All my projects are done and presented. All that is left are exams, one Law, one Philosophy and one Tech paper. As of yesterday, I have now officially survived a year in my school. I think this is a fantatstic accomplishment, seeing how the first term was rocky and the second term was rockier. I fell ill more times than I can count, the most recent being NOW, I reached home from school past midnight more times than I can count, I slept at 3am more times than I can count, I felt suicidal more times than I count... But here I am today, alive and as well as I can reasonably be expected to be.

I think next year will be far worse. No more fluff subjects. More intensive and demanding classes. More course bidding nightmares. I can no longer be in the same classes as my friends. Training will intensify... In other words, things will only get tougher. A few people were dicussing quitting school for somewhere easier in the West. I can understand, but I cannot empathise. 

For me, when I decide on something, I will complain if there are problems, but I'd never really want to give up. Clutching at straws? Yes. I'd clutch at straws until it snaps. I wouldn't let go before. Yeah. I have a commitment problem; I never let go. I need to learn to stop, to really give up. Holding on for too long is ridiculous, but I like to believe that its not too long until nothing can be salvaged. Idealistic? Naive? Yeah, yeah, say whatever you like. I've lost things that could have been saved if I'd kept at it, so I'd rather be a stubborn mule than lose precious things. 

Blogging is a form of relief. Its a way to say things that I'd never have a chance to say in real life because of the various reasons and rules that govern social conduct. I hardly ever mention names, so it is open to individual interpretation. If you think I'm referring to you, that's great. If you think I'm referring to someone else, better luck next time? I don't care if its wordy and difficult to understand. I don't care if its cryptic and gives you a headache to plow through my maze of thoughts. its just the way my brain structures things. For once, I can write whatever suits my fancy! There is NO way I'm going to give it to you in report or research paper style just so you can understand it better. It meant to be this way! Stumble through my diction, hop through my insertions, cartwheel across my rhetorics. This is my blog, and I've already made concessions about the text and colour scheme. My content is my own to decide. As is my life.

Stereo Pony is an awesome band. I admire all-girl bands. Especially those who sing and dance WHILE playing musical instruments. I get irritated by falsely high pitched singing, but Stereo Pony is fine. The vocalist can carry a tune, and she's not whiny. OH YEAH. I have a question. When do Japanese girls use 僕? I hear it in Kalafina and Stereo Pony, but not other bands? Why? Can anyone solve this for me?

"Piss me off and I'll give you hot PINK words on a WHITE background."