Scrub

Playlist

Starships by Nicki Minaj

I will be the first to say that I am not a huge fan of Nicki Minaj, and that I found the MV hilariously ridiculous, but I will admit that I think this song is crazy inspiring and addictive. I think she is a fan of jeremy Scott, and I think she is insane for putting everything Jeremy Scott together in one singular outfit. One statement piece is enough but well, she is a celebrity and her job is to make people stare at her stunned, which is something she accomplishes with zero difficulty.

In a pretty good mood because I just cleaned most of my house. Scrubbed the bathroom until everything was gleaming and was happy to see it all sparkly clean. Yes, cleanliness is next to godliness, and to someone like me who does not subscribe to a religion, cleanliness is my mad love. Of course I am not always insane about scrubbing and cleaning. I do not have obsessive compulsive disorder; I am just a little bit more of a neat freak than most people my age. Its mainly just when the mood hits, when I want to remove every speck of dust I can see and make sure that everything around me is all pretty and gleaming. Generally, I cannot work in a messy place, so I tend to accumulate things and dirt to my limit before getting down to business. I'm the kind of person who will do the laundry when its a hot day, do ironing if its a cool day, and everything else whenever I have spare time. Due to the nature of my job, it has become such that I can only do the cleaning on weekends. The timing on weekdays is far too peculiar to be conducive for household chores.

Maybe because I've spent most of my life without a helper, and I've gotten used to the fact that chores are usually split 4 ways, that I wonder how I will ever have my own family. In my family, most of us do our own dishes, unless its a full meal where my mum and I do the cleaning up. Laundry is usually done by myself or my mother, unless its an item that needs handwashing, which is then done by whomever that item belongs to. Plants watered, heavy lifting, electrical maintenance, paintwork and repairs are done by my dad. Once a week we do a generic house cleaning, with the house divided into 4 and each with their own segment to clean. In a way, while our household is still very much like the traditional Asian family where the women do most of the work, at least the guys play a role? I can barely think of anyone with a dad who vacuums and wipes the floor every week.

I think I am capable of living alone quite well. Spent almost a month, in the States and Taiwan combined, and spent 6 weeks in Japan on my own. Did my laundry, cleaned my room and all. Since I will probably now spend 6 months on exchange, my main concerns are whether there is a vacuum cleaner in the hostel and the name of the Japanese equivalent for Jif. I hope that someone comes in once every couple of weeks to clean the toilets, because it is going to be insanely difficult to find toilet brushes and water sweepers in a foreign country. If the floor is carpeted, I'll probably need to think of a way to find a vacuum cleaner. Kind of hoping that the floor is not, so I can at least wipe it clean. Otherwise, if the hostel is old, I think I will do my best to never touch the floor with any clean item. I'll also need a kettle, I wonder if there will be a hot water flask, and I am sorely tempted to bring my hair dryer along.

Was just informed of my failure to attain the JASSO scholarship. Which means I have to try harder for the scholarship offered by my school. Very unlikely to get it as my family is not poor and I am not a Dean's lister. As I have mentioned previously, one of the most painful things about my life is that I'm average and mediocre. I fall through the cracks, because I am not poor enough to get charity money, and I am not smart enough to get scholarships. I am not rich enough to afford the things I want, and I am not stupid enough to be turned down. Stuck in limbo. I need a business angel right about now. Will settle for a sugar daddy or mummy either. I feel horrid asking my parents to pay for my education overseas, but I want it badly enough to apply after rejecting it the first year. What does that say about me I wonder? I do not want to spend ten thousand dollars in a foreign land for a sham of a exchange. I know the classes will be alright, and I know I will do work and be a good girl. But I wonder about the true motivation behind my trip. Something drives me and I wonder if it is just a whim, because this is something that I have wanted to do since I was seventeen. Whims are passing fancies. 5 years, on most counts, are not passing fancies.

Work is taking up a lot of time, but I am slowly getting hold of my schedule. Going for runs now and then, movies with friends here and there, dinner and the odd lunch date with people I want to keep in contact with. After a while, there is a trend and I suppose I am coping relatively well? Most of my work related angst goes to my other blog so I shall keep this area as neutral as possible. Quite a good avenue to put everything down and helps maintain sanity. In many ways, I wonder what I will be like after 10 more weeks. It has only been 3 weeks and I have begun to notice slight differences in the way I do things. Journey of self discovery... Where will I go from here?

"夜が来た 目覚ましな..."