Hitting The Fan, Dropping Into A Trench

My life is currently so awful, the only phrase which I can think of, which still only remotely approaches my emotional state is " Shit hitting the fan". Short and not too sweet. I wonder how I can possibly feel so terrible, I mean if you told me a while back that I would feel like this, I would have laughed my head off. Looks like I'm experiencing a new trend ----- of a downward spiral. ARGH. Firstly, I totally screwed my Humanities Scholarship interview... I was unable to elaborate appropriately, I gave these silly ideas, I was caught trying to divert the question on more than one occasion... Sighx. Fine. Thats only a teeny tiny part, but it all accumulates, shores up and gathers energy, before coming crashing down when you least expect it! I actually broke down and cried during dance! ARGH! I was NEVER this weak! Sometimes I really want to scream at those people who caused me to become like this.

SYF is in a couple of days, and all the dancers are all pretty nervous. Indian Dance did great, Gold with Honours WITH SPECIAL MENTION. Then Malay Dance was okay. Everybody has quite a bit of stress... all except this certain reserve who feels like she is wasting their time and people resource. Sighx. Human trash. I sometimes wonder why I was born. No wonder they say that people without a religion are dangerous and unpredictable.

Atobe provides my only form of relief in a world gone awry. His voice actor soothes my frayed and battered self, and the actor in the musical is similar enough for my poor demented mind to hang onto reality.

I'm tired. Its more then enough for me to take. I feel as if I would never be happy again. Maybe I really might never be again. My work is piling up. My body requires about 8 hours of sleep to recover. My head needs a break from all the crazy work thrown onto me. I've had enough.