Lousy

Playlist



Just Dance by Lady Ga Ga



Yes, I do listen to non-Asian music. I think Lady Ga Ga is one smart woman. I respect her for her fashion sense and her music. The sound... Is quite different from what is available mainstream.



I have realised that I'm lousy as a girl. I like fashion, but I'm not fashion crazy. I hardly read magazines, I do not watch runway shows. I rarely shop as I have little free time. I don't usually borrow clothes. Nor do I create my own clothes. Or design my own clothes. I'm too lazy to follow most fashion trends. Make up is something I avoid unless there is some major family event or I need to cosplay. I only study make up so that I can understand what people are saying, and not because I like putting it on my face. Or anyone else's face for that matter. I do not have the finances to afford playing and experimenting with make up, and neither do I have the time and energy to do so. All these are just superfluities. I am lousy as a girl because I cannot empathise. Most girls like to mope in groups. Cry. Wail. Pull their hair. Not eat. Sob. Sob. And sob. Phone bills escalate. There is a need to share problems. I can pity. I give heart broken people space. I let them cry on my shoulder. I offer suggestions. I can mother. Nevertheless, 2 weeks later, I expect them to be able to bounce back from whatever has been afflicting them. Which is why I'm a failure as a girl.



Most girls cannot recover in 2 weeks. Broken hearts need months to repair. Lousy grades are taboo until their grades improve. Family problems will never be resolved. Its a long drawn pain sharing session that drives me off the wall. If I cannot resolve something, I put it aside until I have the time/energy/ability to do something about it. There is no point sweeping the floor with your hair. Moping the floor with your feet. If there is nothing you can do, do not do anything now. No point wasting your life, breath, time, effort. I understand the need for comfort, but months of it? I'm sorry, but I doubt I have the spare emotional capacity for you. There's hardly enough for myself as I am. If I'm not loving, caring, kind, concerned, empathetic, understanding enough, get yourself a new friend. I solve problems, or wait until the opportune moment to solve problems. Its just that while waiting, I do other things.

That is why I make a lousy girl.

"We thought they were gone, when it was us who had left them ..."