Darkness

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斬～ZAN～ by Gackt

I need a haircut. My hair is all dry and limp and boring. The strange thing is that it always smells like... McDonald french fries. I'm not joking! Its... Quite irrtating, especially for me who dislikes fries. I'm not sure about others, but fries, to me at least, alwasy taste horrible. Its either too salty or too hard. They are often really dry as well, In short, undelectable. So to think that my hair smells like that... URGH. This is a nightmare! Just to let you know, I use Clear Mint Shampoo and Herbal Essence Camomile Conditioner. Then the leave in conditioner is Kanz Hair Repair Serum. Its not a lot of stuff, nor very expensive. I know of people who swear by salon products, but I personally don't see too much of a difference. Sometimes, I use Asience. Just to mix things up a little. I'm not sure, but I think there is a need to mix products. Regardless of hair, make-up or face-related care products, I've never been one who saw substantial results from using one single range. I know the products are designed to work best together, but I would really like to know on what basis were the tests conducted. Yeah. I doubt we all have physical factors that conform to that of testing.

Sleepy~ Flare has just started again, and I can't help but feel angry at some of my team members. Ok. One team member. She happily signed up for a 3 week overseas community involvement project, knowing full well that we had to train for Nationals. Yeah, we all need CIP, but maybe do it during summer? Or have an ongoing project? A shorter CIP trip? There are many options available. Besides, what is so special about teaching kids in Shanghai English? I assure you, its nothing spectacular. Sigh. I know, its a circular argument. Yes, our team is not fantastic. Yes, we are all newbies. Yes, we are hardly good. Nevertheless, if she were to put in more effort, I think I would feel less upset. I'm not trying to achieve group stunts gold or anything. I just want a team where everyone is trying their best. Yes, I know we all have different commitments. We have different priorities. I know it is pretty unfair of me to ask more of her. But I don't ask of anyone what I cannot give. She is the weakest link. She is not strong, neither physically or mentally. She doesn't work out in her free time. She often skips practice. Now that she is gone for a good 3 weeks, when she gets back, regardless ofhow much gtround we have covered, we're going to have to start from square one again. Simply because she won't know how to execute everything. So we'll be comparatively physically more fit, and armed with more technical knowledge... I can see reasons for her to skip more trainings and get even worse. ARGH. This is utterly depressing! Ok, I shan't think about this too much, I bet I'll get a brain aneuryism.

I'm not sure how I should say this. I don't want to hurt the feelings of people who read my blog, because I know there are some who will go, "Are you talking about me?" when its not directed at them. Its just... Something like enlightenment, albeit more depressing in nature. HAHA. Its more of an observation. Ok, I'm spinning round in circles and I've yet to say anything substantial. Please don't take it personally. This is not for a person who reads my blog. HAHA. At least I don't think this person does. "You suck. You're pretty useless aren't you? Pompous, arrogant and completely useless. In a way, I pity you. You're so lousy that I don't even feel like saying anymore."

Oh OH! I'm reading Yami no Matsuei again! Oh my goodness, its so complex! Manga is way more amazing than anime. And so cool! I dig all the characters. Well, all except Hisoka. He is such a total pain. SO... For a lack of a better word, UKE. I like cute ukes okay? But he is just confused/complacent/takes Tsuzuki-chan for granted/complains a lot... He is just absoultely annoying. My favourite character is Touda, then Tsuzuki-chan with his cute doggy tail. Followed by Hakushaku. And Tatsumi-san! I tell you, Touda is HOT STUFF. Like. Literally and figuratively. I love his attitude. And how he loves Tsuzuki-chan and understands Tsuzuki-chan. Oh. It doesn't hurt that his true form is this awesome serpent thing that spews black fire. Yeah. I kind of liked Suzaku until I saw her human form. I have a 'thing' for fire. Its symbolic, in many ways. And yeah. MAYBE it has a WEE bit to do with Him. YEAH. The capital H that does not represent anything religious. Than again, you could say he is my religion. HOHOHOHOHO. Ok, I'm scaring myself.

"The day we hold hands and dance around a bonfire is the day we celebrate the death of humanity. 'Cause you're the last person I'd touch with a ten foot pole."