Hermit

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Cars on the road...

I'm so tired of social conventions. Social norms. I'm so tired of being someone who is 300 times more polite, more couteous, kinder and nicer than I really am. Its not a one hour thing. Nor a one day thing. Nor a one weke thing. I've been trying so hard, and putting in so much effort to tone down. I've been wearing away my natural response to create something that is artificial and acceptable by the general public. If this continues, I am about to become one of those personality-less people who walk around. There's no soul, no character. All that exists is a creature that eats, breathes and performs the basic functions expected of it. What is the purpose of such an existence?!

I come with a few barbs. I come with a few soft spots. I come with my strengths and weaknesses, and I know I'm not perfect. But what does it mean when I try to remove all the bumps in my personality to create something else? i think I come across as a stereotype to most people. That I fill the space of girl-with-a-mad-interest-for-all-things-Japanese. What in the world does that mean? I'm expected to have weird ideas. And do silly things. I'm the girl with the somewhat funky hairstyle who's, not stupid but not smart, and makes a lot of noise. Something like that. I'm sick an tired of whatever there is on my plate at this point in time. I see no purpose in whatever it is that I am doing. I can hardly find any join. Cheer is a form of escape. Cosplay is another problem. Music numbs the pain. But nothing really removes the root of the problem! The problem? Is people.

On a side note. This. Mixed team should consist of 5 members including 3 (three) male or
maximum 2 (two) females. What shall I do? Shall I quit? Since I'm practically useless?

I need to sleep and think about this. Just because my Buisness Law presentation is over does not mean that life is now better. Its not. Whoever said that university is like breezing through air has obviously never seen a typhoon.

"My new goal in life is to become a hermit."