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Athena by TVXQ (or HoMin for those who refuse to acknowledge a 2 member band)

I think whoever said that people fight to survive only got half the equation right. Something like LHS does not agree with RHS if you remember whatever you learnt in Mathematics class from school. I think we fight to live as desperately as we fight to die. Yeah, it may sound really silly, but hear me out? I don't always post nonsense here HAHA.

I've seen how very destructive people are. So very SELF-destructive to be exact. It is as if we cannot help but want to die even as every cell within us fights to keep us respiring. We drive ourselves so hard, so cruelly, testing the very limits of our body and minds, as if a short and blazing legacy is the only thing worth living for. Of course there are those who have a long and blazing legacy, but how many of us can claim to be so gifted to be able to do something like that? Not many. Barely any in fact. Of the few billion of our kind who walk this earth with us and before us, how many people have a legacy that was remotely memorable? We can list them because the billions of us disappeared, and will disappear, the day we die, both literally and figuratively.

Must we all discover the next cure for AIDs? Must we all be the best ballet dancer in history? Must we all marry 15 other people and divorce 15 times? Must we all invent something or do something or revolutionise something? Can't I just be another face in the crowd and smile as I watch the clouds move across the sky? I cannot understand why our worth is determined by what we accomplish. What about my potential? What about my character? What about the little joys I bring to the people around me? What about my ability to keep alive in spite of the pollution and disasters? Its a fight to be born, its a fight to stay alive, and now I have to fight to make sure I die in a way that can be remembered? How sad.

I used to be very driven. Wanted to get straight As in school, wanted to be in the best jobs, wanted to prove my worth. And one day, I realised, I was doing all these so desperately because I was insecure. Scared that people would hate me if I was not exemplary. Scared that I would be hurt if I was unable to deliver. Scared that I would have no reason to exist if I could not live up to expectations. And then I realised, who do I want recognition from? My parents? My family? My friends? My school? Society in general? What was I so desperately looking for? What was missing in my life that I needed to throw caution to the wind and fight every burning breathe and throbbing step of the way. And it hit me. The only person I wanted to say they loved me was myself.

Indeed, I want my parents to say they love me. I want my friends to like me, and I want school to recognise me for my efforts. But the thing I really want is to be able to wake up and go to sleep happy. Happy that I am here, happy that its another day alive in this beautiful world. Its not about the best grades or the best relationships. All these are supplementary and work towards giving you a better sense of self-worth. You could live without all these if you had a fabulous sense of self-worth. You'd be happy regardless, others may call you an idiot, but who can hurt a happy idiot? You'd be able to find happiness wherever and however, and that, I think is a kind of accomplishment on its own.

I'm not telling you to be lazy simply because lazy people can never find happiness. You're too lazy to make the extra effort to be exceptionally happy. I'm asking you to learn to love yourself. So what if you can't get straight As? So what if your family is in a mess? The very fact that you're here on this earth is half the battle won. We'll all die in the end, why not make your stay on this planet more enjoyable? Why hurt yourself trying to be someone or something you are not? Why make yourself upset by forcing things that aren't meant to be? I'd slap you if you could do it and were to lazy to achieve it. I'd punch you if you gave up easily on something that could have been yours. I'd kill you if you said I'm encouraging people to roll around on their beds all day and proclaim they were born to lay in bed all day. This is not what I'm saying. I'm stick by my belief that you have to fight for what you want, but on top of that, love yourself. Love yourself for everything you can and cannot do. Love yourself for all the wonderful things you can do, and stop drilling yourself deeper into holes. Love who you are, because if you don't, no one else could really love you.

"Uphill battle for that downhill pleasure."