Burden

Playlist

ホソイコエ by シド

Break up song done Japanese style is really heart-wrenching? Nothing like those pathetic English songs which talk about going back to clubbing and partying. Its about the little things that make you remember the person. The moments of loneliness where you suddenly wish that person was here. Habits that become a painful part of your life immediately after that person leaves. Not like mainstream pop songs that keep repeating the same chorus over and over again. Just some of the 101 reasons why I love シド. Their songs are to describe people, albeit done in poetry and verse. Of course you need to understand Japanese to be able to understand, but I feel that Mao sings in such a way that you know its a sad song if it should be a sad song. Its obvious when its a happy song, because the upbeat tune is very recognisable? I love シド!

Suppose to be adjusting my balance sheet for Qantas but I'm taking some time off to blog. Been rather moody for a few days because I've been doing nothing but work. No entertainment at all. Utterly depressing. Not anyone's fault, because everything is due 2359 on 30th October.  My FIIM report and presentation. My Corp report and presentation. My IEA presentation. Neither FIIM not Corp is anywhere near submission-ready, and these are the projects that really matter. Sigh. I'm really tired anyway, so I'm just going to be lazy and not continue. Its a good thing my group mates don't visit this site or they'll have my head. Call me irresponsible, but compared to the other 2 people in the group who have barely contributed an ounce of work? I think I deserve a short break. Just a bit of time off and going to bed early... I need a rest from staring at those disgusting balance sheets and income statements before I really lose it.

Its boring to do work with no holiday in sight. I guess working people look forward to the weekend and their public holidays? Well, as a student who goes back to school everyday, regardless of whether its a holiday or weekend... I think working life would be far more enjoyable. My holidays only start on 28th November. Which seems like light years away when you are drowning in your project. I know its just barely a month, and I have projects due and exams to take... Nevertheless its too far. Not like I have anything really substantial to look forward to during the holidays. And I already know its going to be an exceedingly short break. So I'm not going to touch any work AT ALL. Just play and sleep and laze my days away. I know I'm gonna be busy with school work and trainings once the semester begins proper, and I still need to overlook renovation works at my new home... Hopefully I manage to get plenty of rest. Body has yet to break down, so I ought to reward it with a proper holiday. Taking care of myself like every intelligent individual would.

I think my blog posts are getting far shorter because I'm running out of meaningful things to say. Swamped and brain squeezed to the extent that I can't really come up with anything too complex to discuss here. Just living day to day from hand to mouth is already proving to be difficult. Been super long since I felt this swamped this badly... I guess I could always rely on at least a few other group members to pull their own weight. Ah well, its a wee bit too late to give up now, just going to plough forward and hope nothing goes wrong. At this stage, everything is still possible if we all work consistently... Trying to be optimistic because the moment doubt creeps in, I'd probably surrender under all the stress. Lesson learnt form cheer: Never give up because once you do, everyone else will throw in the towel with you. Partially a mental game I'm playing with myself. I can be productive for only as long as I believe I can be productive. Quash all doubts and fears and uncertainty. 

"Because you'd be mowed over the moment you stop."