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Its All Coming Back To Me by Glee (Original by Celine Dion)

In slight disbelief that it has been three months since I first started my internship. Last day today. What have I accomplished? This I know not at this point in time. I could tell you about what I did and what was my job description, and as I have mentioned previously, I could go on and on about the fluffy things... But it would be completely missing the point. I will honestly admit here that no matter what the hell I decide to write in my internship report, I have absolutely no stinky idea as to what I've achieved in this span of time. The worst part is that I believe I will be as lost until sometime a year or two later. New York, Montreal and Japan is just starting to sink in. Pray tell what makes an internship easier to absorb than the most expansive trip I have ever taken in my entire life?

So yes, I do feel extremely lost now. Not sure of what I want, where I want to go and how to go about from here on. So many things that I have yet to try and cannot yet decide on how I want to proceed. I do not even know if I am really doing what I want... I guess I feel like a headless chicken/housefly that is just running amok with neither purpose nor a destination in mind... And this is the kind of knowledge that makes you feel useless and upset about yourself.

This will be a super short post because I have no idea of what else to type. Been quite a while since everything in my head dried up so... Sorry? I guess ruminating is not a good thing if done in excess. Then again, nothing that is done in excess is ever really good. I mean yeah, you could say that a certain amount of dedication is necessary to accomplish results, but honestly? I often feel that it is just a very fine line between being determined and being stubborn. The same way there is a line between seeking better results and overdoing things. The most hilarious thing is how we decide on which side of the line we are on, and everyone has a different idea of what is acceptable and unacceptable.

I mean, take the Olympics for example. Most of the athletes train about six to eight hours everyday, some even go all the way up to ten hours. I mean if I told my mum I wanted to run for anything more than an hour everday, she would probably tell me that I am overdoing it. But I guess the desired outcome, and hence the guideline for the intensity of the activity differs. I am nowhere trying to be an Olympian, and I have other things to do in life. Not like they are any more meaningful but... Yeah, I think thats why things are the way they are.

Yes, I should probably stop here. Half baked thoughts and strange reasoning. Until next time.

"I finished crying in the instant that you left... And I banished every memory that you and I had ever made... "