Human

Playlist

one way by SID

Ah. Its reading week for me now. A little break for me to gather the strewn pieces of my soul and brain before I head off to the examination grounds. Yeah. The word execution could have replaced the word examination and the sentence would have retained its meaning. The wonders of language. I shan't bore you with the nitty gritty details of my insanely boring and chaotic life. There's nothing much to be said. All of it can be summarised into the immediate paragraph below. What I wanna blog about, is instead, the hypocrisy that is humanity.

I went to school. Got pissed by the atrocious lack of linguistic ability of my group mates, their inability to understand the concept of deadlines, their utter lack of responsibility and their pigheaded stubbornness. My cosplay plans are really shaky now. There are constant quarrels in the cosplay community, and it seems like everyone is mentally stuck in kindergarten. Oh the FUN~

I think humans are such stupid creatures. Biologically, we're stupid to share a vertical windpipe and food pipe. We're bound to choke once or twice and deprave our brains of the oxygen we need. Or better yet, DIE. Psychologically, we're needy little things, but we act tough simply because of societal conventions and the whole nine yards of taboos. We're riddled with contradictions, mostly because of self imposed restrictions. We try so hard to be happy, yet we always give up a metre before the finish line, only to restart the entire happiness game again. We envy what others have, totally oblivious to the things we have that they want. We pine for the things we can't have, but when we do get it, we lose interest. I think my existence is hilarious. Surrendering when I'm almost there. Worrying when its in the bag. Lovesick for a person that will never look at me. HAHA. Why don't I cherish those that I have? Why won't I worry about the things that I'm overconfident of instead? Why won't I persevere a wee bit more? I know, but I don't do it. I can't even convince myself.

What shall I do with myself? Knowing and doing is not the same thing. It never was. One is based on the part that we carefully cultivate as we grow up, be it conforming to what is necessary or culling the parts that stick out.The other is the part of us that was there all along, slumbering, resting, anaesthetised, whatever we did to it. Ideally, these two parts would be one and the same. Ideally, we'd all meet and love Prince Charming, and Prince Charming would love us in return. RIGHT.

I'd like to go on, but I feel... That I should not. I can see evidence of my own biased judgement creeping in. Its not that I think I'm completely fair and neutral all the time, but I try to be less so? Otherwise, what would be the difference between this blog and every other angst-ridden teenager's? I think the person I'm hinting at will never read this blog. Maybe because I never gave my address to that person. Maybe because that person does not have sufficient brain cells to spell the address. Maybe because that person doesn't think my blog is interesting enough to be read. Whatever.I only need the people I love to love me back.

Additional notes:

1) Hejin, I'm SO SORRY!
2) Viv, you will tell me who you are referring to NOW.
3) Dearest, you know I love you. Though I don't understand what are your motivations and I think the entire fiasco is horribly infantile, I love you. Its a good thing you're letting the feeling go. Think zen nyan~

"I want someone to stop the racket that is emanating from that hole you call a mouth."