Sunday, 1 November 2009

Parents

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Shade by Deluhi

I miss parents. I'm not being sarcastic. I really, truly, honest-to-god miss them.

They've been in US for about... 2 weeks plus now? Everyone tells me how jealous they are that I have so much freedom. They say that I can do anything I want, anyway I want. They ask if I'm happy to be by myself.

"Don't you wish your parents would go on holiday together more often?"

BULL.

I miss them. I miss coming home at 11pm, all hot, bothered and tired, and seeing them watching the news. They're waiting for me, but they'd never say it. I miss the light they leave on for me if I'm home late and they've gone to bed. I miss being able to go for a midnight snack with them if dinner was especially pathetic. I miss the hot water they boil first thing every morning. I miss their offers to drive me to school on weekends so that I can sleep in for another 15 minutes. I miss hearing their voice when I call to say that I'm on my way home. I miss my parents. I miss this sense of coming home to my family. Going out is fun. Being with my friends is good. At the end of the day, however, what I want more than anything is a place where I can belong. That place happens to be my home, where my parents are.

Freedom is when you maximise the boundaries. When you have no boundaries, you have no freedom. I go home and feel like crying. I am crying. I'm tired and weary, and my home has no sense of peace, thanks to that brat who happens to be related to me. He leaves the plate on the table from 7am to 10pm, waiting for me to clear it when I'm home. Well, the ants got there faster than me, thats for sure. He leaves his dirty clothes and socks all over the house, and now the house smells like some construction site. He cannot be bothered to water the plants, so I'm constantly worrying if they'll die in the hot weather with me returning so late in the night. This is on top of the random pieces of trash scattered all over, with his clothes strewn all over and belongings ranging from keys in the kitchen, wallet in the toilet and school bag in the corridor.

I have this urge to hurl everything into the bin or out of the window, whichever is nearer at that point in time.

I want my parents back. 3 people clearing up is easier. And this is on top of their presence, which would definitely make me feel better emotionally. Parents are problems, but they are problems I'd pick anyday.

Do I feel happy that they are gone? Do I want them to stay longer? Am I pleased with being alone?

The BLOODY answer is NO. So SHUT UP. Stop asking. NO, I AM NOT HAPPY.

"Your smile that hasn’t changed even the slightest since those times/ It makes up for the time that has passed..."

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