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PRINCESS by Versailles

This will come up as something completely random to some of you, but heck. I've been thinking about this from what I've seen and heard, and I need to let people know about this. Just let me express my displeasure and views on this matter. It will just be in passing, before I go on to other more 'normal' stuff.

I hate people who don't fight for what they want, and spend forever moping about their 'loss'. Its not a proper loss, because you did not put in the effort to get what you want, so you never even made it on to the track, much less the winner's podium. So it cannot be a loss, because you were never in the running for it. This is applicable for many many things in life, be it your grades, a job, a relationship, ANYTHING. For me, I'd do my best and have no regrets. Well, as far as possible, I'd have no regrets. If there's one thing that life has taught me, it is that those who let others roll all over them will just be downtrodden and unhappy, and NO ONE is going to do anything to help you. I mean, people, usually friends and family can TRY to help you, but the ultimate decision is yours. You were the one who chose to gave up, despite your goal being in reach. You were the one who felt that you could not do it, in spite of the belief of everyone. You were the one who felt that effort was unnecessary, in spite of the encouragement from everyone. So don't go blaming others and being jealous when you were clearly the one who placed yourslf in that predicament. You're being inane and ridiculous, and I do not want to deal with a tantrum throwing brat. I've much better things to do, especially since you were the one disregarded everything I said and did. So I'm not going to bother with you, and you know you're being unfair to me. Until you realise this, I'm not going to do anything for you. I've already walked a mile towards you. All you need to do is to take that additional step.

I think HG Wells was right. The quote is below. There is no other way but to go forward if you can't retrieve your past self. Throw everything away and start from scratch. Get a haircut. Get a new look. A change in dressing style would be good. Make new friends. Change your personality. I think this isn't easy, but I think it might be a good thing to do now that I'm at this stage. I have been too reliant on the same people for the same things, and after a while, I've lost the ability to connect to others because I'm all nice and secure in my happy little world that I've built. Well, the buildings are swaying, the ground is cracking apart and the tide is rising. Its almost at armageddon, so I might as well recreate everything.

Not easy. There are so many things that I like and love. If I didn't like it, I would never have created this world for myself! Bearing this in mind, I think I'm dragging my feet. Maybe I should just let everything come to an end. After all, I've worked so hard and for so long, and now that things are unravelling, I should just hit 'Refresh' and get a new page. If I hold on any longer, I'd become stuck in limbo, unable to move on and unable to go back. I know full well that I'm not important enough. I know full well that I am just another statistic. I know full well that I am easily replaceable. Sad, but its omething that I have come to realise and accept, to a certain degree of course. I think resignation occurs when you try very hard, selling your soul and all, but with absolutely no returns... Its wearisome. No matter what excuse there is, be it not understanding or whatever nonsense espoused, the fact remains that the effort is missing on the other end, and you just surrender. You can't clap with only one hand. You need another surface, be it a wall or another hand. You can't work with nothing. You do everything you can, and its simply unattainable. Now this may seem like hypocrisy, as I've mentioned that I hate people who give up, but its different. Its like, buying a Lamboghini with your $2,000 monthly paycheck, and buying a Nissan Sunny. The former is MADNESS. The latter is worth working towards.

I think I have been blogging about the same issue since December last year. Its strange, but its like an awkward silence, where everyone knows, yet everyone pretend that nothing happens as they are afraid of change. Unlike what Obama said, change is not something that is welcome and easily attainable. Its something fleeting and difficult to measure. When you do notice it, things are already gone and altered, so we're always playing a game of catch-up. 

I'll do my best.

"Once you start to lose yourself, you have two choices. Find the person you used to be, or lose that person completely and create a new one.”