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cradle by L'arc-en~Ciel
Its the end of Week Ten. Just four more weeks before the exams, and I'm starting to get a wee bit nervous. Yes, I do get nervous. I am a normal person! Anyhow, I think that before I get to the exams, I'm going to have to survive Week Thirteen. I have four presentations on Week Thirteen. Considering the fact that I take 5 modules this semester, and that I operate on a four-day week, this would mean that I will have a presenatation everyday of Week Thirteen. In short, this is my second Killer Week in this semester. SIGH.
If its any concession, I have no more cheerleading practices until summer is here. But yeah. I think this is poor consideration, given how I'm participating in my JC's Aristal performance in early May. I think I'm unconsciouly trying to kill myself by running myself ragged. I'm sure of it. There is no other rational reason why I would saddle myself with so many commitments when I'm suppose to try and relax, chill and take things more slowly this semester. If I was to compare this semester with last semester, I think this semester is more hectic because of projects, but less taxing on individual assignments. Last semester was a lot of consistent studying for pop quizzes and essays. This semester is heavier on the groupwork component. So I cannot really compare my semesters, as the cause of 'busy-ness' is different.
I think I know why older people like me. By older people, I mean senior citizens, ususally above the age 60. I'm not sure why, but elderly people really do like me. Random old people at bus stops and MRT stations, and even along the road, tend to ask me for directions, ask me if my schoolwork is alright, ask me about the government, ask me what school I'm from, ask me if I know their grandson/grandaughter (this actually happened!). with all these, I think can reasonably conclude that I'm liked right? Unless they are so bored that they have nothing to do, which I think is rather unlikely... Anyhow, I think its because I look absolutely harmless and trustworthy. Not that I am saying that I indeed am. My hair is long, black and straight. Not a hint of anything other than my natural colour. Indeed, my hairstyle is a little wacky, but its not dangerous wacky. Its a sort of safe, trying-to-be-cute-or-cool wacky, that highlights my youth and is most endearing to them. Furthermore, I don't exactly have a fringe, and I don't ususally use makeup, except for formal events. Now, most of the elderly feel that exposing your forehead shows that you have nothing to hide, so they feel that I am trustworthy. The lack of make-up makes me non-threatening, because we tend to associate make-up with adults. My lack of make-up incorporation just makes me seem more teenager and adorable (though I think my round and chubby cheeks play a large role too), unlike 'those young people you see on TV'. When you consider that I dress for comfort, think tee-shirts and shorts (nothing higher than mid thigh), I practically scream, "SAFE! I won't steal your money! I'll give up my seat to you! TRUST ME!". Not that I'm complaining.
I think parents should not use the words 'never' and 'always' when dealing with, especially when disciplining, children. I'm not sure how many will feel this way, but personally, I detest it when my parents use these words on me. Stuff like, "You NEVER pack your room on your own." "You ALWAYS create trouble." I really want to throw the words back at them. There are bound to be instances where I've done the task, or I've made the effort, or that it has not happened. It may seem ridiculous to some, but I think that children are little adults. Calling anyone under the age of 16 a child is rather deceptive at times, because there is a tendency to overlook the fact that there is a functioning brain behind that innocent face. Kids think. kids feel. kids understand. Assuming otherwise is a huge problem, because the things adults say and do have a very distinct impact on children. I have very bad memories from my childhood, and I although I hardly ever express displeasure about the decisions my parent shave made on my behalf, the truth is that I blame them for it. Many flaws in my personality stem from these traumatic experiences, of which I shall not mention here. I know most parents mean well, but the fact of the matter remains. I have a lot of anger and hatred, and its very likely because of the helplessness I felt. Ok. No more.
I wonder how long I can keep this blog. The older I get, the more things that I can no longer say. I think this is the price of growing up: You lose your voice.
"If I try hard enough, will you like me?"
I think I know why older people like me. By older people, I mean senior citizens, ususally above the age 60. I'm not sure why, but elderly people really do like me. Random old people at bus stops and MRT stations, and even along the road, tend to ask me for directions, ask me if my schoolwork is alright, ask me about the government, ask me what school I'm from, ask me if I know their grandson/grandaughter (this actually happened!). with all these, I think can reasonably conclude that I'm liked right? Unless they are so bored that they have nothing to do, which I think is rather unlikely... Anyhow, I think its because I look absolutely harmless and trustworthy. Not that I am saying that I indeed am. My hair is long, black and straight. Not a hint of anything other than my natural colour. Indeed, my hairstyle is a little wacky, but its not dangerous wacky. Its a sort of safe, trying-to-be-cute-or-cool wacky, that highlights my youth and is most endearing to them. Furthermore, I don't exactly have a fringe, and I don't ususally use makeup, except for formal events. Now, most of the elderly feel that exposing your forehead shows that you have nothing to hide, so they feel that I am trustworthy. The lack of make-up makes me non-threatening, because we tend to associate make-up with adults. My lack of make-up incorporation just makes me seem more teenager and adorable (though I think my round and chubby cheeks play a large role too), unlike 'those young people you see on TV'. When you consider that I dress for comfort, think tee-shirts and shorts (nothing higher than mid thigh), I practically scream, "SAFE! I won't steal your money! I'll give up my seat to you! TRUST ME!". Not that I'm complaining.
I think parents should not use the words 'never' and 'always' when dealing with, especially when disciplining, children. I'm not sure how many will feel this way, but personally, I detest it when my parents use these words on me. Stuff like, "You NEVER pack your room on your own." "You ALWAYS create trouble." I really want to throw the words back at them. There are bound to be instances where I've done the task, or I've made the effort, or that it has not happened. It may seem ridiculous to some, but I think that children are little adults. Calling anyone under the age of 16 a child is rather deceptive at times, because there is a tendency to overlook the fact that there is a functioning brain behind that innocent face. Kids think. kids feel. kids understand. Assuming otherwise is a huge problem, because the things adults say and do have a very distinct impact on children. I have very bad memories from my childhood, and I although I hardly ever express displeasure about the decisions my parent shave made on my behalf, the truth is that I blame them for it. Many flaws in my personality stem from these traumatic experiences, of which I shall not mention here. I know most parents mean well, but the fact of the matter remains. I have a lot of anger and hatred, and its very likely because of the helplessness I felt. Ok. No more.
I wonder how long I can keep this blog. The older I get, the more things that I can no longer say. I think this is the price of growing up: You lose your voice.
"If I try hard enough, will you like me?"
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