Sad

Playlist

One Love by Arashi

Its strange. This feeling. I just realised what it was. A bit silly, considering how I've been feeling this way for quite a while.

Sadness.

Its an amusing emotion. There is something poignant about it. Not like the fleeting illusion of happiness. Nor like the choking weight of anger. Its quieter. More thoughful, in a way. Like a contemplative person by a stream. Where those who are happy live in the blazing roller coaster of life, those who are sad watch the world go by and think of the days that have gone past, and the days that have yet to come. Where those who are angry wreck havoc on this delicate world, those who are sad cherish that which is there, no matter how small or insignificant. Its so romatic, in its own little way. Not a blinding exuberance but a quiet appreciation. Melancholy is an art.

A throbbing awareness that refuses to go away. A tightness that persists no matter how you try to stretch it out. A simmering, accumulating presence. I'm not sure, but I think I can be sad while I'm happy. I can be sad while I'm angry. I can be sad when I'm lonely. To me, sadness is black, with an aquamarine sheen to it. Like the black-green of a beetle. Its dark, but its beautiful as well. Am I reading to much into this? I'm not sure, but I think this is part of maturing. Children are blazing streaks across the sky. Be it day or night, they'd shine bright, staking their claim on some part of the world. As I get older, I've mellowed. You're no longer so insecure as to need a neon presence. All I need is my little space to exist. Its not giving up on the world. Nor is it resignation per se. Its more of... Self acceptance. Where you start to know your true value. You start to understand how its not necessary to stab a flag and stake your territory. You'd just belong. You'd just exist. The world has already known of you, and has reserved a little corner for you.

I think there is bound to be a certain element of mourning in melancholy. A bitter taste, not overwhelming, but there all the same. Useful, for it lets you realise how sweet everything else it. Its a marker to benchmark and compare, and an important one at that. Its a mark of how far we've come.

"Come to play... Forget your troubles... Sing and dance... Today has ended..."