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REDRUM by VAMPS
Sometimes, I get really annoyed when people assume I am from China. Technically, I am Chinese, but I am Singaporean Chinese. Its like how people from Taiwan or Malaysia or Indonesia are first and foremost a citizen of their country before being Chinese. Not that I dislike Chinese or anything, I really like Chinese culture, but I don't like the stereotypes that come attached. I have a very oriental face, and everyone immediately assumes I'm from the mainland and some country bumpkin at that.
To begin with, it is hardly fair to stereotype everyone from a certain country, and as someone who suffers from it? I can tell you that its is very unpleasant. I have people who never speak to me in any language other than Mandarin, even though they are struggling to construct a coherent sentence. Its only after I ask why they keep trying to speak chopped Mandarin to me, in English, that they realise I can actually understand them in English. And the look on their faces is one of embarrassment desperately hidden under a sheepish laugh. But what about those who do not commit language faux pas that needs correcting? I've found out from my seniors that for 3 months, where they saw me 3 times a week, they were convinced I was not worth working with because I was from China, and they were speculating why a foreign student would want to join the team. When I found out, I gave my most normal smile and told them I wasn't Chinese (meaning from China), but I was an Inuit on exchange because I wanted to see durian trees instead of polar bears.
The people who are biased against me will probably never read this, but I LOVE MY FACE. I love my single eyelids that allow me to spam eyeliner. I love my button nose that isn't broken as easily because of my low nose bridge. I love my cheeks that I can easily puff up to look like a chinchilla to make my friends laugh when they are upset. Sure, I like double eyelids, sharper noses and high cheekbones? But what does it do for me? Easier to apply make up, more photogenic... Less teasing? I'm not even sure of the last part. Grating on my nerves to suffer such indignation but I think I'm not change anything anytime soon.
And on the topic of countries and assumptions and nerves, another ridiculous thing I encounter is the mistaken belief that learning a language for near 2 years will give you mastery over it. The flip side is similarly annoying, where they think they know some phrase and keep using it, and try to show off to you. Unless that person is a freaking GENIUS, I don't think this is even remotely possible to master a language in 2 years. The good ones can achieve a decent level of proficiency. The normal people, like me, are able to read basic words, say basic GRAMMATICAL sentences, and can understand a decent amount of conversation. So please stop asking me things like, "What does Sakae/ Ichiban/ Sushi Tei/ Hanabi/ etc mean? Why do they call it that?" Its a NAME of a restaurant, how the hell will I know why they chose it? So superby annoying. And I abhor people who, somehow somewhere, picked up a Japanese phrase and insist that it means something it doesn't and that I'm wrong. EXCUSE ME. "Ittadakimasu" is used as a greeting before eating, NOT ON THE PHONE. You don't go, " Ittadakimasu, Lee desu." Say that on the phone and I will laugh my lungs out. Honest.
When will people stop being so arrogant? A bit of knowledge and they are oh-so-eager to show off. Its like saying you know everything about the ocean from your primary school science textbook. There is so much more than meets the eye. Scraping the bottom of the barrel and claiming to understand everything on top. There is so much I do not know, and I'm not afraid of acknowledging this weakness. Weaknesses are to be overcome, strengths are to be maintained. Life's like this. And you cannot improve unless you admit that you are weak in a certain area and willing to learn. So frustrating. Not like I'm willing to teach such irritating people anyway. I'd rather help those who are willing to help themselves. Rather than those who are just asking for the sake of asking. I shall just smile and give them a cursory answer to keep them out of my socks.
Killer week is approaching. Let's just say I am beginning to regret the decision I made 8 weeks ago. Oh well. What can I do? Make the best of the situation and hope its satisfactory. No, I am not fatalistic. I'm just pragmatically trying to reduce my tears and pain.
"Sneaking out of my cage, I'm gonna play more!"
The people who are biased against me will probably never read this, but I LOVE MY FACE. I love my single eyelids that allow me to spam eyeliner. I love my button nose that isn't broken as easily because of my low nose bridge. I love my cheeks that I can easily puff up to look like a chinchilla to make my friends laugh when they are upset. Sure, I like double eyelids, sharper noses and high cheekbones? But what does it do for me? Easier to apply make up, more photogenic... Less teasing? I'm not even sure of the last part. Grating on my nerves to suffer such indignation but I think I'm not change anything anytime soon.
And on the topic of countries and assumptions and nerves, another ridiculous thing I encounter is the mistaken belief that learning a language for near 2 years will give you mastery over it. The flip side is similarly annoying, where they think they know some phrase and keep using it, and try to show off to you. Unless that person is a freaking GENIUS, I don't think this is even remotely possible to master a language in 2 years. The good ones can achieve a decent level of proficiency. The normal people, like me, are able to read basic words, say basic GRAMMATICAL sentences, and can understand a decent amount of conversation. So please stop asking me things like, "What does Sakae/ Ichiban/ Sushi Tei/ Hanabi/ etc mean? Why do they call it that?" Its a NAME of a restaurant, how the hell will I know why they chose it? So superby annoying. And I abhor people who, somehow somewhere, picked up a Japanese phrase and insist that it means something it doesn't and that I'm wrong. EXCUSE ME. "Ittadakimasu" is used as a greeting before eating, NOT ON THE PHONE. You don't go, " Ittadakimasu, Lee desu." Say that on the phone and I will laugh my lungs out. Honest.
When will people stop being so arrogant? A bit of knowledge and they are oh-so-eager to show off. Its like saying you know everything about the ocean from your primary school science textbook. There is so much more than meets the eye. Scraping the bottom of the barrel and claiming to understand everything on top. There is so much I do not know, and I'm not afraid of acknowledging this weakness. Weaknesses are to be overcome, strengths are to be maintained. Life's like this. And you cannot improve unless you admit that you are weak in a certain area and willing to learn. So frustrating. Not like I'm willing to teach such irritating people anyway. I'd rather help those who are willing to help themselves. Rather than those who are just asking for the sake of asking. I shall just smile and give them a cursory answer to keep them out of my socks.
Killer week is approaching. Let's just say I am beginning to regret the decision I made 8 weeks ago. Oh well. What can I do? Make the best of the situation and hope its satisfactory. No, I am not fatalistic. I'm just pragmatically trying to reduce my tears and pain.
"Sneaking out of my cage, I'm gonna play more!"
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