Playlist
踊れ by Micro
I've been in a whole herd of CCAs in my twelve years of formal education and two years in university. And its not like they are all of the same type. Sports, arts, clubs... I've probably been in every type of CCA, with the exception of uniformed groups and those business CCAs. Then again those are considered clubs? Yeah. I've seen a lot of group dynamics, and I think I've learnt a lot. Life lessons I think. Things that the classroom never really teaches you. Things that have to do with organization structure and people relations. And things that tell you more about yourself.
In primary school, my first CCA was Library Club. I assure you it was fun until I wiped the 15th shelf and sorted the 200th book. The teacher in charge was super strict, and we were not allowed to read during club hours. I promptly gave up once I heard that. No point doing cleaning work if I couldn't indulge in my favourite pastime no? The first thing I realised: I was only willing to work for a benefit.
After that I joined Tennis, and was in Tennis until secondary school. I was never a very consistent player, so I was not in the school team. I was not bad at Tennis, I just got bored of it very quickly. I felt like a dog chasing after a ball, and I disliked having to constantly pick up balls whenever it went out of court. Training in secondary school was very tough. Warm ups were on average 3km runs. Followed by reps to improve coordination and strength. Physical training was killer. More running. Jumping. Numerous exercises. And this was on top of Physical Education in school and jogging sessions. I think I was superbly fit in secondary school. The second thing I learnt: Failing means you have to work more. I can do well, I just need to be motivated. And I think the most important thing was that to improve, a lot of time, effort, sheer hard work, muscle aches, sweat and tears needs to be invested.
Tennis was also the first time I was in contact with the 'popular' clique and hierarchy. It was silly to me, that the seniors get to drink water and got to rest after training, while the juniors had to clean up the court and pack up. To me, everyone used the courts, so everyone should pack. All of us had hands and feet; we could draft a schedule or something and everyone could contribute. I met two of my very good friends in secondary school in Tennis, one a good tennis player, and the other a classmate. The 3 of us were ostracised in the team, because we were not pretty or rich (yes, tennis is a rich person's sport) and obviously, were not 'in'. I think I was left alone because I was a rebel and deviant. People could not predict what I would say or do, so they gave me wide berth. My friends? They were just ignored because they were quieter. It was pretty annoying, because they were nice people (unlike me) and were feeling super lonely. And this taught a few more things: I don't subscribe well to hierarchy. I tend to hang out with the underdogs. And people are mean.
I was also in Audio Visual/ Public Announcement Club in secondary school. Started as a school appointment for my class, and I stayed on for four years. Oh I learnt a lot about politicking from this CCA. The stakes were smaller, so people were more petty. Control was a big thing, and the keys to all the various stores were a physical manifestation of that power everyone wanted so much. It was important to teach the juniors how to use the expensive equipment, so equipment trainings were a big part of club activities. After AV, I know how to wind wires properly, how to test a microphone, how to set up a microphone stand, how to operate stage lighting, how to operate stage curtains, how to operate basic music controls, how to make an announcement in school, how to laminate, how to use walkie talkies... A lot knowledge that you are unlikely to ever use again. More than that, I learnt that the backstage people are people you should never piss off if you want good service. I learnt that AV people are the first to arrive and the last to leave. I learnt how to run across the school carrying heavy equipment, up flights of stairs and to set up in record time. I learnt how to disappear into the background, and that keys are very important assets. I learnt that all the people on stage are useless without us.
I was given the honour of being part of the Outdoor Adventure Club. It was a pretty big thing in secondary school? The five most promising students from each CCA was nominated to apply, where you go through camps and trainings to be finally selected to be part of this elite CCA cum school appointment thing. You learnt to set up obstacle courses, set up a campfire, perform first aid and much more. It was run like a semi- uniformed group CCA, and all the uniformed groups' students and school counsellors and peer helpers wanted to be in it? And this jellyfish made it through. Somehow. HAHA. My uniformed groups' friends were furious when they realised I was selected to participate. I remember what they said that day, "Why is someone like you selected?!". I suppose to them, I was undisciplined, a rebel and totally lacking as a 'leader'. Not suitable, but I made it. Only one in three were selected and I made it in. Only the very best of each CCA (I was sent by AV, part of a ballot, the sheer blasphemy I know), and I made it in. Sure, I wasn't highly ranked. Sure, I was not in the most fantastic department. But I made it in, and I know so many who were in shock that I managed to get in, both my seniors, peers and juniors. Too bad~ I think I did pretty well? My juniors liked me, the group I was in charge of did well, everything was fine and dandy. And yes. I learnt that destroying stereotypes and building your own path could be fun. I learnt that yelling at people would not necessary get them to work. And more than that, I learnt that hierarchy was just a paper leash. I was just going in the same direction that I was guided upon.
Something made me sign up for Chinese Dance in junior college and I was so busy I had no time to join anything else. I have no prior dance experience and I somehow made it through the audition. And I made it into the performing team for the Singapore Youth Festival Central Judging. Maybe it was my natural flexibility, maybe the dance teacher liked my face or I was just super lucky. Of course it was hard work. During peak performance periods, such as Chinese New Year, College Day, National Day and other competitions and performances, we had dance sessions near 6 times a week, Monday to Saturday, and each session was a minimum of three hours. I had zero dance experience, and I somehow survived all these. Every dance was me starting at zero and working my way up. Sheer hard work. I needed to build my foundations from scratch where others had been dancing since they were three years old. Definitely at a disadvantage. And I made it. And some of my friends and juniors only found out when I graduated that I had no dance experience. I know one senior was in shock when she found out while we were talking during stretching exercises. Its like someone with no music background joining band. Like me joining band. HURHUR. So I established that with hard work and a wee bit of talent, you can achieve what others take for granted. If you do your research and throw yourself into learning, you can do anything you want to. I learn stage make up, and found out how much effort goes into that 6 minutes of glamour on the stage. I moved from backstage to centre stage. In dance, no matter how great you were, unless you were dancing a solo, the moment anyone made a mistake, you had to repeat the entire thing again. I learnt to talk with my eyes, my face, my hands, my gestures and my body. I learnt to plaster a smile on my face even when I was giddy with exhaustion and creating more bruises with every time I knelt on the floor in a performance.
And now in university? Cheerleading. As a base. None of the glamour in the air, but hard work on the ground doing tossing, catching, spotting. I'm collecting bruises at a rate where they increase faster than they heal. I've had knee problems, wrist problems, sprains, bleeding lips, cuts on my face... What are a few bruises? No pom-poms, just plenty of sweat and muscle aches. I've watched my peers quit one by one. I've seen new people join for the pseudo social status and perks and misconceived preconception that it was about looking pretty. And when they see how much work it is, they leave, disappointed it isn't as easy as they thought it would be. Too bad~
I guess I've learnt that hard work plays an important role. And that luck is necessary too. Sometimes, I really think luck is a skill as well because things don't come easily without luck. Not that they come easily even with luck, as you need to invest a measure of effort. The main idea is that you really need some luck or you'd get nothing. Luck makes things happen and gives you the result you desire. If you don't have luck, you'd be fighting against the tide and just get swept away to the open sea, further and further away from land and salvation. I know this isn't the clearest paragraph I have ever typed, but yes, it is supposed to be this way and I'm also sleepy and tired and fighting to keep awake. So I shall end this here rather prematurely.
I will keep fighting. I will keep hoping. I will keep trying. I will keep going. I cannot live in a world where I have nothing to strive for. I cannot live in a world where I am a failure. I cannot live in a world where every breath I take is a reminder of how useless I am. I will motivate myself to persevere. This is not the end of the road, not by a long shot.
"I hate rejection."
I was given the honour of being part of the Outdoor Adventure Club. It was a pretty big thing in secondary school? The five most promising students from each CCA was nominated to apply, where you go through camps and trainings to be finally selected to be part of this elite CCA cum school appointment thing. You learnt to set up obstacle courses, set up a campfire, perform first aid and much more. It was run like a semi- uniformed group CCA, and all the uniformed groups' students and school counsellors and peer helpers wanted to be in it? And this jellyfish made it through. Somehow. HAHA. My uniformed groups' friends were furious when they realised I was selected to participate. I remember what they said that day, "Why is someone like you selected?!". I suppose to them, I was undisciplined, a rebel and totally lacking as a 'leader'. Not suitable, but I made it. Only one in three were selected and I made it in. Only the very best of each CCA (I was sent by AV, part of a ballot, the sheer blasphemy I know), and I made it in. Sure, I wasn't highly ranked. Sure, I was not in the most fantastic department. But I made it in, and I know so many who were in shock that I managed to get in, both my seniors, peers and juniors. Too bad~ I think I did pretty well? My juniors liked me, the group I was in charge of did well, everything was fine and dandy. And yes. I learnt that destroying stereotypes and building your own path could be fun. I learnt that yelling at people would not necessary get them to work. And more than that, I learnt that hierarchy was just a paper leash. I was just going in the same direction that I was guided upon.
Something made me sign up for Chinese Dance in junior college and I was so busy I had no time to join anything else. I have no prior dance experience and I somehow made it through the audition. And I made it into the performing team for the Singapore Youth Festival Central Judging. Maybe it was my natural flexibility, maybe the dance teacher liked my face or I was just super lucky. Of course it was hard work. During peak performance periods, such as Chinese New Year, College Day, National Day and other competitions and performances, we had dance sessions near 6 times a week, Monday to Saturday, and each session was a minimum of three hours. I had zero dance experience, and I somehow survived all these. Every dance was me starting at zero and working my way up. Sheer hard work. I needed to build my foundations from scratch where others had been dancing since they were three years old. Definitely at a disadvantage. And I made it. And some of my friends and juniors only found out when I graduated that I had no dance experience. I know one senior was in shock when she found out while we were talking during stretching exercises. Its like someone with no music background joining band. Like me joining band. HURHUR. So I established that with hard work and a wee bit of talent, you can achieve what others take for granted. If you do your research and throw yourself into learning, you can do anything you want to. I learn stage make up, and found out how much effort goes into that 6 minutes of glamour on the stage. I moved from backstage to centre stage. In dance, no matter how great you were, unless you were dancing a solo, the moment anyone made a mistake, you had to repeat the entire thing again. I learnt to talk with my eyes, my face, my hands, my gestures and my body. I learnt to plaster a smile on my face even when I was giddy with exhaustion and creating more bruises with every time I knelt on the floor in a performance.
And now in university? Cheerleading. As a base. None of the glamour in the air, but hard work on the ground doing tossing, catching, spotting. I'm collecting bruises at a rate where they increase faster than they heal. I've had knee problems, wrist problems, sprains, bleeding lips, cuts on my face... What are a few bruises? No pom-poms, just plenty of sweat and muscle aches. I've watched my peers quit one by one. I've seen new people join for the pseudo social status and perks and misconceived preconception that it was about looking pretty. And when they see how much work it is, they leave, disappointed it isn't as easy as they thought it would be. Too bad~
I guess I've learnt that hard work plays an important role. And that luck is necessary too. Sometimes, I really think luck is a skill as well because things don't come easily without luck. Not that they come easily even with luck, as you need to invest a measure of effort. The main idea is that you really need some luck or you'd get nothing. Luck makes things happen and gives you the result you desire. If you don't have luck, you'd be fighting against the tide and just get swept away to the open sea, further and further away from land and salvation. I know this isn't the clearest paragraph I have ever typed, but yes, it is supposed to be this way and I'm also sleepy and tired and fighting to keep awake. So I shall end this here rather prematurely.
I will keep fighting. I will keep hoping. I will keep trying. I will keep going. I cannot live in a world where I have nothing to strive for. I cannot live in a world where I am a failure. I cannot live in a world where every breath I take is a reminder of how useless I am. I will motivate myself to persevere. This is not the end of the road, not by a long shot.
"I hate rejection."
No comments:
Post a Comment