Candy

Playlist

Candyman by Glee

Annoying day. Woke up with the light in my face because I forgot to draw the curtains. Birds were squabbling at the balcony, and my neighbour slammed the door close. Wanted to go back to sleep, and when I nearly did, the stupid alarm went off. Lo and behold, its the day, the one day in the year, where I wake up dreading what's going to happen. I'm not sure why, but its as if every year, to make up for the awesome luck I have usually, nothing good has ever happened to me on my birthday. Its either an exam, which has been the case for the past 3 years, me falling ill, when I was in secondary school, losing something important, junior college days, or something equally depressing. The best birthday would be one where absolutely nothing happens. I spend it reading books in the safety of my home, putting the existence of every other human on this planet far far away at the back of my head. Not that I dislike company, because I really don't, but because there's this expectation that is unfair to people. The best solution would be to avoid human contact and live happily ever after. Which is not really possible. So I just quash everything and speak in riddles for the whole day, hoping that people get the hint that I really don't want to to talk to them. Anti-social right?

One more paper before the end of this horrible semester. I just need to clear one stupid accounting paper that is worth half of my total final grade. Not that I expect the next semester to be anything better, but at the very least, I won't have to think about exams during my birthday. The happy thing about the second semester is that you have summer to look forward to, a summer of meaningless exploits in the name of fun, even when you have internships that beg completion. Things are better in summer, where all you think about is having fun and wishing you were gallivanting along the streets. The good thing about being a student are the time you have to waste away without worrying about productivity during the holidays. The time I spend lazing in bed and staring at my pooh to incite an imaginary conversation out of him. Times like these are what makes me sane. When I enter the workforce... I see myself taking a number of days off at totally random times.

Older and none the wiser. Fatter, lazier and increasingly jaded. Drifted apart from some buddies. Depressed, often hungry, and watching my expenditures skyrocket. New friends, new home, one more shot at Nationals. Travelled alone, learnt that there are people out there who find me attractive, and came back with new-found confidence. Spoke a new language, saw the world through someone else's eyes and explored the boundaries of my limits. I have to agree, that travelling gives you a wider perspective. It tells you how racist you are. It tells you how intolerant you are. It tells you how adaptable you are. It tells you how great and how lousy a human being you are. That's all. You learn about yourself. That's all. No more, no less. The important thing is how much this information is worth to you. Is it worth the amount of money you need to pay for your ticket? Is it worth the risk of being robbed, getting stranded and more? What will you give up for this information? Can you find out all these things about yourself on your own? Some of us can, others cannot, and there will be those who live like children their entire lives, because this information is a heavy weight dragging you down to the bottom. Of course, what you do with this knowledge is a concern too. Will you pretend you never found out how ugly you are? Will you boast about your strengths? Will you scurry away from the discoveries you made and go back into your shell? There is no right nor wrong answer. The answer will always be 'It depends.' because what works for one person often does not work for another. Most of us will let our subconscious decide on the path to take. Others will consciously make an effort to utilise what they've learnt. And there will always be those who just forget everything the moment they reach home. People.

Been addicted to Scrabble recently. Playing non stop. I have always liked games that need some measure of brain power and Scrabble is loads of fun. Doesn't hurt that its a game to be played with other people, and luck is an element as well, so its a gorgeous combination of the best things in life. Well to me at least. I'm certain that there will be those people who think its a complete waste of time and effort and would rather go to bed than play Scrabble. To each their own I guess. This is my idea of relaxation and fun. Deal with it.

Oh, and I think I am more of a journey person rather than a destination person. 

"Good luck smile my way."