Playlist
Fire by 2NE1
Old song but I love it. The kind of song that you revisit after a while and it doesn't lose its lustre. One of the few girl bands that I listen to, so if you're not a big fan of high pitched and squeaky girls shaking their assets and not being able to sing, I'd recommend them. Doesn't hurt that the clothes they wear is pretty? Not skanky, more edgy. Shameless, unpaid advertisement. Their PR person had better thank me.
I think I grew up a little bit today. Not sure if anyone will approve, but I re-learned how to walk alone today. I typed something pretty lengthy (for Tumblr) on Tumblr, and I'm not going to repeat it here. Each post has its place, and I think it belongs there, so you can head over to read... All I'm going to say is that if you misunderstand, I'd feel sorry for you. It's not a brutual "I hate you let's split" but a more genial "I think we should reconsider how things are" post. I don't think I can ever hate you? I never actually hate the people I leave, because if I hated them, I wouldn't be with them in the first place? I will always love the people I love, in spite of all the pain and heartache. Just my personality to do so, but it doesn't equal to staying with you. As I've mentioned, you're no longer my number one. I am. Simply because if I wasn't anyone's number one, this part of me which is insecure and immature would cringe and wither and die. So I became my number one. So in a way, I've learnt to be as selfish, and to choose my path based on where I think I want to go, rather than where you'd like me to go with you. Is this me being immature? I wonder. Because I feel part of being an adult is knowing when to stop being a bench warmer. When to stop being an option. When to stop being on the wait-list. To walk away from being the spare tire in the boot of the car who deflates while waiting to be of importance.
Anyway, killer week is over! Submitted all my reports and most of my presentations are done and over. One more to go, but then again, I've never really had stage fright so I'm not nervous... All I'm afraid of is forgetting stuff, which happens when I don't have cues or if I didn't write the part that I'm presenting. Yeah, I'm a Corp Comm major, but that doesn't mean my memory is fantastic awesome. Especially if you want me to memorise the history of commercial banking in USA and I don't have any visual cues at all. And if there are problems when setting up the laptop and I'm the first presenter? Sorry but I'm not THAT good yet. Yes, this happened to me in Finance. Major mess and I'll learn from this. Next time I'm not going to prepare one night before, no matter how last minute the meeting to consolidate is. Too much grief with no cues... Either that or I need to foresee such issues when I do slides. Stupid me...
This post is taking longer than usual because I was silly enough to paint my nails just before typing this. Which means I'm using something like 2 fingers to type. Ridiculously difficult as I don't want to scratch the still-wet nails. The lengths girls go to beautify themselves... Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself? I like painting my nails because I love the colours. The awful smell and insanely long time its takes to dry are problems that future producers of nail polish need to resolve, but the colours... I just love colours. Anyone who's ever seen me in real life would know that I always play with colours. Makes me feel good, and nail polish adds another dimension of colour to the overall outfit? If I could, I would change the colour of my polish everyday. I'd probably kill my nails with all chemicals though, so I think I'd refrain from doing so. Really hoping that people who develop nail polish can come up with a solution to its toxicity soon.
L'arc~en~Ciel live will be shown in theatres later this month! My birthday present to myself. Then again, this whole month is to celebrate my birthday! I mean, why make it a one off thing if you can drag it an entire month? Make myself happy and reward myself for surviving all the insane projects and making it to another year. Part of my policy to make myself a happier person, to cherish myself more. Not that I have been physically abusing myself, but mentally? Hating myself and reprimanding myself all the time isn't the way to go...
I think I've decided that I don't ever want to be a housewife. Taking care of my mum and brother is virtually driving me to the edge. I don't deal well with blood and sick people. Not that I cannot, but I had rather not. I feel sad if people aren't well and because I cannot do anything to help them. The feeling of helplessness is horrid. I'm not a control freak, it's just too painful to watch people suffer and there's not a thing you can do to alleviate their pain. I am not a compassionate person per se... I just don't like people to suffer from physical wounds and to look halfway to the place where no one wants to go to. Sigh. Not that I won't take care of my family, I love my family!, but I don't like doing it. I'm not that unfeeling!
"Can you hear me?"
This post is taking longer than usual because I was silly enough to paint my nails just before typing this. Which means I'm using something like 2 fingers to type. Ridiculously difficult as I don't want to scratch the still-wet nails. The lengths girls go to beautify themselves... Sometimes I wonder why I do this to myself? I like painting my nails because I love the colours. The awful smell and insanely long time its takes to dry are problems that future producers of nail polish need to resolve, but the colours... I just love colours. Anyone who's ever seen me in real life would know that I always play with colours. Makes me feel good, and nail polish adds another dimension of colour to the overall outfit? If I could, I would change the colour of my polish everyday. I'd probably kill my nails with all chemicals though, so I think I'd refrain from doing so. Really hoping that people who develop nail polish can come up with a solution to its toxicity soon.
L'arc~en~Ciel live will be shown in theatres later this month! My birthday present to myself. Then again, this whole month is to celebrate my birthday! I mean, why make it a one off thing if you can drag it an entire month? Make myself happy and reward myself for surviving all the insane projects and making it to another year. Part of my policy to make myself a happier person, to cherish myself more. Not that I have been physically abusing myself, but mentally? Hating myself and reprimanding myself all the time isn't the way to go...
I think I've decided that I don't ever want to be a housewife. Taking care of my mum and brother is virtually driving me to the edge. I don't deal well with blood and sick people. Not that I cannot, but I had rather not. I feel sad if people aren't well and because I cannot do anything to help them. The feeling of helplessness is horrid. I'm not a control freak, it's just too painful to watch people suffer and there's not a thing you can do to alleviate their pain. I am not a compassionate person per se... I just don't like people to suffer from physical wounds and to look halfway to the place where no one wants to go to. Sigh. Not that I won't take care of my family, I love my family!, but I don't like doing it. I'm not that unfeeling!
"Can you hear me?"
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