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Love Addict by VAMPS

I think sleep is one of the most miraculous things of human existence. Its so amazing how rendering yourself vulnerable for eight hours can actually be beneficial to you. I mean, anything an happen when you are asleep. Something could fall on you. Someone could attack you. The list of possibilities go on. Maybe its just me thinking way too much. I woke up this morning feeling really self-conscious. It was as if something that I should have been aware of happened last night. I'm a pretty deep sleeper, but I'm very sensitive to changes in light, smell and sudden sounds. I always wake up before it rains because the lightning and the smell of the rain can't be ignored even in my sleeping state. I have no problems falling asleep again. Its just that I wake up. Pure instinct. Which Is why this morning was super strange. The feeling that I missed out something was quite disconcerting. I am not sure why I suddenly had this feeling, but it has sort of thrown me off my feet.

The final exams are nearing and yet I'm practically going about my days as if I'm in holiday mood. Slacking. Not doing any real work. hardly revising, unless I have to complete an assignment. I'm incorrigible. Sometimes, I really hate myself. I ought to fling myself off the nearest high-rise building. Hmm. I'm in one now. I wonder if eleven floors is sufficient to ensure immediate death. I so do not want to slowly bleed to death on the ground floor. I don't want to be conscious of my unglamourous state. So I'll need to die from the impact. Oh. I'm getting all morose. Haha. I know, I know, its sometimes pretty disconcerting to read my blog... Cause it functions the same way as my brain. Yes. Its true. I'm forever flitting from one idea to the other. No matter how random or strange the ideas may be...

I need to lose weight. Around 3kg would be ideal. And no. I'm not about to embark on some massive carbohydrate cutting nor rabbit-food only diet. Nor am I going to start running 5km everyday. I don't think I'm ready for a complete lifestyle change. Although I do know that I really ought to be exercising... I sort of completely stopped working out altogether. Unless you call walking around the estate to buy food is exercise... Not like its very far anyway. Ah. Alright. I feel guilty enough. I'll start running this weekend... I HATE RUNNING! Its the most awful experience. In dance, I can do the same movements for hours and I don't feel bored. I can do the foundations until my muscles cramp and I'll still continue. Yeah, I"ll complain, but I'll keep at it. Unlike running. Just the thought alone makes me want to scream. Its that bad. Imagine how I feel during Physical Education... Why can't we just do gymnastics? Or dance? Or yoga? Jump-rope? I just don't want to run like a dog chasing its own tail! Argh! The things we do to achieve conventional standards of beauty...





"Everything comes to an end...'