Tears

Music Request



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My tears are useless. It doesn't solve the problem. It doesn't alleviate problem. It doesn't even affect the bloody problem! So why in the world do I even bother to cry? Is it for my father, who smiles at me and wonders aloud if he'll die in a bomb blast in Pakistan? Is it for my mother, who doesn't seem to be able to escape from her fears? Is it for my brother, who does his best to ignore everything? Or is it for me, and all of them in my family, the present, past and current selves of us all? All of it degenerated so quickly, so easily. It really makes me aware of how so very fragile we all are, how our relationships with each other are. We did try to escape, yet, none of us, I think, we prepared to come to terms with the new sides of each other. All of us change, as the paradox, change is the only constant. Yet, if we all were to change at differing rates, unable to keep up with each other... I think the end result is the uneasy, potentially silence engulfing my home now. I will persevere.



I love my dad. My earliest childhood memories centre around him. In these memories, his face is always kind, stern sometimes, angry at me occasionally, but always kind. He wiped my tears when I cried after he punished me. He told me to bite the playground bully when I was pushed off the swing. He argued with my teacher when she maligned me. He brought me to the beach to have saltwater drinking competitions. He never gave up teaching me how to swim, it was me who gave up on swimming. He sat through numerous weekends listening to me read English books when it became evident that his daughter had problems with English. He struggled through PSLE Mathematics, tyring to teach me Math without Algebra. He forced me to memorise Chinese poems. He made me do penmanship exercises. He drilled the full names of all my family members, extended or not, Chinese and English, into my head. He bought me my bicycle. He taught me to wash the car. He introduced me to the computer. My dad told me jokes, made me laugh, taught me things no one else would ever bother telling a child. My dad is my teacher of life. He gave me experiences beyond compare, he gave me chances no one else ever would, he forgave my numerous mistakes. My dad loves me, and I love him too, unwaveringly. no matter what happens, I will always love my dad. To me, my dad is the person who made me possible, physically, emotionally, psychologically, academically... Everything.



Thank you Daddy, and I'll always believe in you. Otosan, anata wa, wastashi no hero desu!






"No. Today is not Father's Day. You got a problem with it?"