Decay

Playlist

Milky Way bu L'Arc~en~Ciel

You are nothing but a perverted old man. You have no talent and exceedingly limited ability. Stop trying to convince yourself that you are an 18 year-old. You are not. Where do you think you are? A bar? Goodness, you are no where near hot enough to participate in some lousy half-hearted strip tease. I'm not interested. At all. You think you're so funny, so mature, so knowledgeable. Like Hell you are. A narrow-minded frog in a well. What you are so proud of is merely a title. One that you're not even worthy of. I know people who are far better than you. Both in personality and ability. Furthermore, I am not a child. Just because I'm polite does not mean I'm alright with the crap you dish out. You are so predictable. Nothing special. Just the result of a flawed system. Get lost. You think you are so special. You are most definitely not. Yes, I'm being rude. you'll most probably never see this, but just in case you do, good for you. Welcome to the 21st century. Dinosaur.


In one day, I have listened to Nps Ngs five times, Le ciel three times, Returner four times. Not to mention Rebirth and Heart. Yes. I'm listening to music in the office. No harm apparently. Not with two-thirds of the staff absent. I think when the new year begins, I'll miss playing music more than anything else. In a way, my job is really simple. And the workload depends on the applicants. So if the applicants take it easy, my days at the office are like today. Blogging. Listening to music. There's nothing I can do! I believe in devotion to task, yet, when my task is to update applications... There's a limit to how devoted you can get. I'm actually creating work for myself to do. Maybe I should quit. There is hardly any fulfillment. Answering phone calls, sorting documents, updating the online status, replying to enquiries, troubleshooting... Maybe I should do something else. I can feel my brain cells dying.


Eyeliner. Lots of it. Gackt, SID, Laruku. I have the posters. All of them wear eyeliner, with some more than the other. I mean, yukihiro seems to be the type who only uses eyeliner when in the more Gothic Laruku PVs. Gackt on the other hand... Go watch his Sekirei PV. Especially as he blinks awake... I personally like his general appearance in Vanilla and Le Ciel. Hair neither too short nor too long. The fingernails in Le Ciel is suicidal though. The other band members seem to be colour coded. Like blue for Mana, he and his French princess, red for Kozi, purple for Kami, yellow for Yu~ki and... Goodness knows what is Gackt's colour. Still, he looks amazingly, broodingly handsome.

Going by my recent posts, one would think that I have converted my Laruku shrine into a Gackt shrine. Nope. Its still all up there. Staring at me as I do my push-ups, plank and other static exercises in my room. A great motivator. There's this consistent stress that comes from knowing that you're not as fit as them. Okay. I'm using euphemisms. I'll be honest. There is A LOT of pressure that comes from waking up next to their inhumane godliness. I mean, I don't feel a need to lose 10kg and strive towards model thinness, but seriously, losing about 5kg would be real sweet. Yeah. Its that kind of unhealthy feeling. I know! I'm being weird. Still, I realise that my metabolic rate has slowed... And I'm seriously unfit. So its a good thing that I now have a goal. Although it is rather ambiguous. My aim is to be fit, and healthy enough that I don't feel self-conscious in my own room. Good luck to me.

" A fallen fruit... Hastening the process of decay..."