Plot

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My Dear by L'Arc-en~Ciel

I like reading. I always have. Be it fiction or non-fiction, reading books, articles and magazines have always made me happy. Even blog posts are interesting. I just like font. I do have my preferences though. There are some pieces of writing that are really dry and awful. There are some styles that make me want to scalp the author. There are some plots so stupid and cheesy that either I take it as a joke or I hurl the book into some volcano to preserve my sanity. Believe me, some pieces of writing should never have been thought out, much less pen. Nor published and sold. The horror. Still, I think the greatest flaw is a lack of plot. Different people like different writing styles. Society, culture, language and even the sex of the reader influences the type of writing and style preferred. Plot, however, is different. Plot is neceassary.

Below, in no particular order, are plots that I think are the worst. It just goes to show how little thought has gone into it. Oh wait. Maybe its the art/ writing style/ romance/ action/cover picture/ paper type/ font/ binding that was the emphasis. MAYBE.

1) Normal Girl meets Guy. Guy is the mafia head/ yakuza-don/ school track star/ rich brat/ prince-of-foreign-country and always misunderstood. He has evil/ sadistic/ arrogant/ bratty/ snotty characteristics, but is actually a softie at heart. Falls in love with her, with or without some embarrassing scene that involves the girl getting into trouble. Cue them dating. Introduce Guy B. He's either perfect or has some serious secret evil fetish. He likes Girl. Cue love triangle. When Girl and Guy finally tides over everything, in comes Girl B. Similarly, she is either perfect or a disgusting princess/ spoilt brat/ witch/ bitch. She likes Guy. Cue catfight. Girl and Guy emerges from the ashes with a new found love for each other. They live happily ever after. I puke.

Does no one other than me think stuff like that is STUPID? Unless you read it for the stupidity? I can name MOUNTAINS of books that revolve around such a plot. A waste of finite resources. All the poor trees cut and pulped. For what? Trashy books. You may claim its romance, but believe me, I have read romance novels with PLOT. Think Away From Her. I forgot a book, but it was a bodice ripper. WITH PLOT. That is the most important thing! Stop hiding it under the name of Chick Lit. In no way is that stuff Literature if every Mary, Sue and Jane can write it. Its called patterned black ink on paper.

2) Child, usually a girl is born. Is bullied by family or is an orphan. Treated as a second-class citizen. Meets a guy who loves her for her voice/ dancing/ hair/ eyes/ resemblance to his dead mother or sister. Boy's family disapproves of her. They suffer. Perservere.They get married. Girl's family realises she is happy. Try to ruin their happiness. They suffer divine retribution. The couple lives happily ever after.

This is the format of virtually every Korean drama. Have you not have enough of this on television? Why read this as well? Goodness. Its not that I have something against romance as a genre. Rather, I just feel that it is one of the most cliched genres ever. Instead of thinking of something new, authors prefer the tried and tested cheesy formula that the other nine hundred and ninety nine romance authors have used. Maybe the problem lies in the genre itself. Most are female readers, who I have come to believe, desire stability and consistency. This is not to say that they don't like adventure. Rather, those who feed the authors of this genre prefer their adventure in safe doses. I think I'm going to be murdered for saying this.

3) Boy is a street rat. Meets a special someone. Learns life lessons. Becomes a good person.

I'm not saying that this plot is stupid per se. Just... Err. Not good. Yes, there's often the inspirational and feel good factor thats very potent when coupled with support for the underdog... But. Yeah. Not good. Bad and not good are two different things. One is the opposite of good. The other is its negative form. Ususally, especially if its a fictional account, it often lacks the verisimilitude that real life accounts have. There is this sense that things are greatly exaggerated, or that there are missing elements. I think this is from the inability to create the little details that adds to the plot. The fictional accounts are also often not sufficiently emotionally engaging to be able to hide this blemish. Oh well. Its a structural problem that pretty paint cannot cover.

4) In a galaxy far far away... Cue wars. Cue social strife. Flying airships. Dictators. Massive unrest.

This is not about Star Wars. Rather... Hello???? As if life on Earth was not bad enough, you have to create a similarly screwed up world thats an exaggeration of our world. Its not like its a new concept. Its just taking things to the extreme. Like combining Pol Pot, Hitler and Mojo Jojo altogether into one Ultimate-Evil-Fella-Who-Has-Ruled-For-Eons. Not like it functions well as a social tool. Oh. There is plenty of descriptive. But no plot. WAIT. Maybe its a descriptive. If thats the case, I'd rather play fantasy games. Or read another book.

The silliest plot I have ever come across is below. Coded. So that those of you poor innocent souls will not be corrupted by me. It is as follows:

5) Akihito meets Asami. Akihito pawned. Akihito meets FeL. Similarly is pawned. Asami and FeL catfight. Asami wins. Akihito continues being pawned. End of story.

HELLO???? WHY DO YOU WANT ME TO READ STUFF LIKE THAT?! WAIT. WHY DO I EVEN ASK TO READ STUFF LIKE THAT?!

" The greatest pain is the inability to understand the pain of loss."