Immerse

Playlist

Rain by SID

Been a long time since I really listened to SID songs. I guess I fell in love with Mao when I sang his song at karaoke. I love JRock songs because they have such complex concepts? Not like your cheesy pop music. Then again, even Japanese pop music is vastly different from American pop music? More complex. Slightly more complex. And I really appreciate a song which tells a story? A song that isn't just about dancing, singing and drinking would be good. A song about the subtleties of society and the delicate relationships of people. Yeah. These are the songs I will listen to over and over again. Of course I love dance tracks and I must admit I enjoy the odd brainless pop song. But the songs that will always remain in my playlist are those that make me think twice about the things in everyday life that I might be taking for granted.

Heading to Kobe in about 8 hours. Its going to be a slightly lengthy train ride but I like trains so it should be fine? Will spend the night in a youth hostel before heading back on Saturday. I think the thing that kills you in Japan is the transportation costs and the lodging. I'm paying something like $40 per night in a youth hostel. Makes New York seem cheap in comparison, which is really saying something. Train rides are about at least $10 per trip. Disgustingly expensive especially if you head further. No wonder the Japanese people only travel in their country. Its expensive enough to never go anywhere really fun? I know it costs money to upkeep the trains and all, but surely it can't be as bad as in New York and Montreal? OH. WAIT. Trains in New York and Montreal aren't fastidiously clean like in Japan...

I feel that I'm starting to make friends? I guess no friendship here will be truly serious because everyone will fly apart soon, but I think its good to have people to talk to? Otherwise I sometimes feel pretty lonely. And I have realised that it is pointless to keep trying to speak Japanese; I need to improve my grammar first, or no one will be able to understand me. So I do my best to listen and construct sentences in my head. And it is a very bad idea to translate sentences from English or Mandarin to Japanese because it screws up the grammar. Solution? Think in concepts. I answer much slower, but at least I won't be spewing nonsense at my poor teachers and classmates. Sigh. Doing my best to cope. In many ways this programme might be doing very well because I sometimes think of the words in Japanese first? Hopefully I will return to Singapore with much more confidence and, more importantly, proficiency.

I need to get more sleep. Bedtime at around 2am is bad for health. My throat now feels weird-ish and I often feel tired in class. So I shall attempt to sleep at around midnight today. Not that great, but at least it is an improvement! Otherwise my complexion will worsen... And I always get hungry at night too, so this might be a good way to cut on food and expenses. Have yet to exercise since Monday, and I am beginning to feel guilty for being lazy. I shall workout on Saturday and attempt to walk more in Kobe. Need to burn off the fats and get some exercise. Superbly unfit. At this rate I will suffer when I return to Singapore and go for training. I'm already overseas and unable to train with the rest. Don't wanna play so much catch up in terms of physical ability. 

Discovering things about myself and Japanese society. I guess you really need to solo to get a feel for yourself. My only concern is that, the way things are now, I will never be attached. Yeah, you may think its a very superficial and ridiculous thing that is contradictory to my character, but the truth is, I'm a person who gets lonely very easily. Even with friends. Even when I'm smiling and laughing. I need someone who will love me the most in the world, no matter what. I think that's what I need? Not someone who thinks I'm pretty. Nor someone who thinks I am interesting. Someone who will think I'm lovable even when I'm angry and throwing a tantrum. Sighs. I think it is highly unlikely that someone like this exists in my social circle...

Nothing much more to add. I'll be online again in about 2 days, hopefully with a ton of gorgeous photos and stories to tell. Bought some stuff in Rinku Town and this is on top of the amount spent in Osaka? My expenditure in increasing and I am worried because I didn't bring that much money? And I hear Kobe has this fantastic area for shopping and my hostel is about 10minutes away? HAHA. Oh well, wish me a safe journey and plenty of fun~ I'll be back soon!

"My love, I'd give you my heart so you'll never need to walk alone."