Masquerade

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I Am The Best by 2NE1

I have come to realise that I really do not like writing about my travelling exploits. I think it is because I am tired of repeating the entire experience all over again after commenting on something like 300 photos on FaceBook. Not that my blog is less important than my FaceBook account, but I think my fingers are tired from all the typing? And I am really bored of saying the same thing over and over again? So yeah, I think other than obscure mentions here and there, you will have to deal with the fact that it will only be on FaceBook. So too bad if you aren't a friend of mine on FaceBook? I assure you I have some pretty good photos. Oh well~

Somehow I seem to have gotten used to living here in Rinku Town? So much so that I get a small shock everytime I think that I will need to go home in 21 days. Not that I dislike home, but this place already seems like home? I keep forgetting that I am in Japan. As if its normal to live out of a suitcase and eat at cafeterias every single day. As if its normal to have my things randomly strewn all over the place? Somehow this seems like my real life? Which is strange because my real life is waiting for me to return back home? My bed is there, my books are there, all my other clothes are there... My family is there, my friends are there? So why do I feel like this is how things should be?

Not sure what I should do with the three day break that I shall get. I feel like travelling, but I kinda do not want to go alone. But I don't want to go with others as well? I think I either need a pet or my head examined. There is something wrong with me... And I am choosing between Tokyo and Kyoto. I know I have yet to spend time in Kyoto properly, but I am inclined to head to Tokyo. Yes, the whole of Japan is cutting down on electricity and all that, but I think there are some places that you have to go? I don't know what to do and I have to start making reservations soon. So many things to decide and I'm lost in my own hazy thoughts.

Waseda just got back to me. Apparently they contacted my exchange officer about a ten days ago, but because she was out of the office, I just found out today. Which kind of stinks, because I just lost 10 days to arrange for the flight and accommodation. And I sort of only have 3days to arrange all these. WOW. I am inclined to just throw in the towel and stay back. Save my money for another trip on another day. But I don't know. So much uncertainty. And the fact that I have yet to make up my mind is a sign that I don't want it that badly? Japan is such an expensive country. I am in Osaka and on a scholarship and yet I feel my wallet screaming. I cannot begin to imagine how awful I will feel if every single cent was from my parents. The most I can do is part time work? Which kind of stinks because the amount you earn is very limited and it detracts from the time you have to study and do other things.

Seems like the more I think, the less I feel inclined to travel to Waseda? Once in a lifetime opportunity and what am I doing? Oh right, wasting it away.

I shall go to bed now because I need to interview university students tomorrow. Annoying and my skin is so awful that I can't even use things with aesthetic appeal to make myself feel better? My clothes have been recycled about 4 times each and I am tired of always wearing the same thing. I want to rummage in my fridge and unearth ice cream. I want to pick up the phone and call my friends. I want to be able to text as I want. I think this is teaching me a lot about myself... And all the ugly things are coming to light. Like how dependent I am on society...

I need to make a decision now. Hopefully everything will be superbly obvious when I wake up in the morning? Its as if I'm stuck in a bad dream masquerading as a sweet dream.

"Go away and stop stalking me..."